Title: Urchin: One Minute
So, as refreshing of a change as it is to live with Blake, I honestly can't stand Adam.
Already he feels abusive to me. Though again, that might just be bias. But he's controlling and now I barely get out at all. I at least got to bury my parents but now I just don't feel like I'm allowed to do anything on my own. He controls what we eat and when, what we watch, what we do. Almost everything and it's stifling. Like a noose around our necks almost and I don't like it.
Also, we rarely get to go out. To play and be children. The few times that we do wander beyond the house is to head off to the White Fang Peace Rallies.
Adam's always watching there. It's constricting and I do not appreciate it at all. Because he's actively keeping us secluded and away from most people. I think that I might have seen Velvet at one of the rallies, but I didn't get the chance to go over and see, to check. To talk. Because Adam wouldn't let me wander. He covers it up as being worried, scared that someone would just take me away and murder me. Leave me dead in a ditch somewhere, which okay considering that I'm not yet five that's a fair fear.
But at the same time I just want to scream.
He's micromanaging us and I can't stand it. I've always sought out my independence, enjoyed my solitude and the power of choice. This though, it's too much. So the next rally that we go to. The very moment that Adam's not paying attention, I hurriedly give Blake a goodbye and drop the sign that I'm holding. Adam catches my movement but before he can reach me I lose myself in the crowd and squirm my way through the mass of bodies and out into an alley.
I shake myself off and dart away feet pounding against the stone streets.
I don't stop running until I literally can't run anymore and then I crawl into an empty crate nearby and curl into myself tail wrapping around to shield me. I don't know if Adam even saw which direction I ran, Blake probably did. And I don't know... I don't really want either of them to find me, or anyone else for that matter.
Of course, there's kind of a big hole in this running away decision.
At eighteen I could barely take care of myself... And now I'm a good month or two away from my fifth birthday.
Why the hell did I consider running away to be a good idea?
Because it seemed like the better option than sticking around with Adam... Ugh. This is a problem. A serious problem, I don't know what to do. Well I'll probably figure things out, or you know die. There are only two ways for this to really go, unless someone decides to actually fucking care and picks me up to put me in an Orphanage or Foster Home. Which isn't likely, I mean they left me alone to deal with my parents corpses.
A four year old... Alone, to deal with the corpses of their parents.
It just... and I don't want to stick with Adam.
I just. In some ways it's trying to decide which of them is the lesser evil. Do I go back and beg for forgiveness from someone who will grow to be abusive and rather cold to the major populace(considering that humans outnumber faunus by about seven to one) Or do I keep away and struggle on my own.
I honestly don't know. I mean, the whole running away thing was admittedly more spur of the moment lashing out than actually well thought and planned. Impulsive.
Impulse, it's something that I've noticed problems with in this second life. Snap decisions like this one aren't the only ones that I've made. My self-control has dropped and I tend to react more in the moment than stopping to think like I used to at least attempt to. It makes me wonder if I'm even an INFP anymore. I mean, I probably am, since that was who I was in my previous life. But at the same time... I might not be.
Since we are the culmination of all our experiences. We are built by our environments and changed by our interactions with the world.
Then again, I still keep mostly to myself, like to speculate and keep my head in the clouds, make decisions based on my feelings and keep all my options open and not really stick to a single plan to reach whatever my goal in life is.
And even that goal is kind of fuzzy because it's just be a Huntress with no extra idea of what that means or what I'll do afterwards.
It was actually kind of the same with this whole running away thing. I just wanted to get away from Adam... and didn't think that much further.
It's just, that's always kind of been who I am. I get a goal and then just kind of drift towards it. Distractions crop up along the way for sure, but I will always return to the original focus and goal at some point. But still, I really have a dilemma here. I'm a month or two away from my fifth birthday and out in the streets because I wanted to get out from under Adam's control. And now I have no control over the situation either because I don't know where to go from here. No where to turn to either.
Since most people will dismiss me off hand due to my heritage.
My tail twitches and a single hand curls in my frustration. Stupid, so stupid.
What do I even do?
Why don't I ever think?
I howl a bit and clutch at my head legs kicking out because this is so annoying. Usually I at least try to think a bit beyond get out, get away. Or similar snap thoughts that lead to snap decisions. But no, not in this case. So I take deep breaths and keep my eyes closed and my back against the crate that I'm hiding within. Truly this is wondering which of the two is the lesser evil.
Probably begging for forgiveness.
But I do not want to do that. Because screw it, I'm going to be independent. I have something to prove. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but I know that it's something as my fists curl up and I bare my teeth in something of a snarl at who knows what. I'm not going back to Adam, back to Blake. Nope, I'm a four year old out on my own... because clearly that is so much better.
I'm going to die...
I'm going to die because I'm too stubborn to go back.
Too stubborn and I have some kind of weird pride in regards to this. Because at least I'll be dying free in a way. At least I'll have picked my own path, my own way to go. So I curl up and tuck my head down closing my eyes and just resigning myself to whatever fate may follow.
A couple of weeks later and I'm honestly surprised that I'm not dead yet. I've been moving from street to street surviving by pure luck alone really. And probably the fact that those who see me instantly look away. Pretend that they don't. It's simultaneously a disadvantage and an advantage. Since it means that I can do stuff unobtrusively in the background, but at the same time, on those occasions when I do need help, absolutely no one is going to give it to me. I've got to do things on my own.
Also, the problems this gives me when I'm trying to figure out how to steal things. Since that's literally the only way that I'm able to get the supplies that I require to stay alive. Aside from shelter.
As long as whatever I'm swiping is small enough to tuck away into the pockets of my clothing and to keep hidden it's easy enough to steal since no one looks my way. I just can't steal money... or new clothes or anything bigger than a small loaf of bread or a cookie from the edge of a shelf.
It's difficult, but I'm still here, and I'm still alive and as long as people continue to ignore me I might just survive until well into my later years of life.
I might just survive. At least until I actually need to know how to steal stuff, and fight back beyond punching people where it hurts.
Also in regards to making my own weapon, and figuring out how to actually get to a point where I'll be able to even start on the path of becoming a Huntress. I'll probably be forced to pull a Ruby on that one... Probably, I mean I am Ruby's age. Two years younger than Blake, means I'm Ruby's age. And if I even want a snowball's chance in hell then I'm going to have to get into one of the Academies early. Which actually sounds like a pipe dream from where I am now, sitting in an alley somewhere with a single procured bread roll.
It's just a pipe dream at this point.
I bite into the roll and tear away a piece angrily glaring at nothing. I'm alive, but not exactly living and honestly I don't know where to go from here.
I don't know what to do. I mean I have ideas, but how to put those in place is a big problem. It's not like I could realistically find someone who would actually be willing to train me. Not as I am. I swallow the mouthful of bread in my mouth and take a deep breath. I need to think, I need to focus and plan.
It's not as simple as just surviving.
That's only the beginning. I have a goal, a set goal. To become a Huntress.
That begins with training. Which includes having a proper place to live and a proper set diet. I need to step up my game. When it comes to stealing things, I've been keeping it low key. Take only what you need to survive and no more. If I'm going to reach my goal though. My eyes narrow and I can feel a smirk cross my face.
I can feel it as I decide to step outside of my comfort zone and safety circle.
I finish off the last few bites of my roll and sigh before curling my hands by my side and closing my eyes to think and plan. Now to pick a target and figure out how to steal it... and how to start learning to fight.
It all starts with the first few steps after all.
Small steps to set in motion big events.
My footfalls are near silent as I slink down the streets. Avoiding the noisier areas, and the more bustling parts of the town/city. It's easy enough, I just need to tune in to my instincts. Follow the sounds, and the vibrations. Or in this case move away from them and keep to the shadows. My expression is very carefully neutral as I slink through the shadows and eventually come across a familiar sight.
Another peace rally.
Another White Fang gathering. Protest. People holding signs and shouting about how they need, how they deserve equal rights. How we're just as human as those who're suppressing us. I feel my tail twitch and sniff the air. It's strange to stand hidden in the shadows and just watch. Listening to the jeers of the crowd, listening to the dismissive attitudes of the people who do stop to observe the event.
It's disgusting.
Especially when some members of the police finally arrive. They don't even consider politely shooing people away, no... It's straight to pulling out pepper spray and batons and forcibly breaking apart the rally. Is it any wonder that eventually the White Fang turned violent... Sure the leadership was forcibly taken over, but still.
With the way that we're treated.
It's simply the natural progression of events. Even if I wanted to, I would never be able to prevent that. So I simply sniff and twitch my tail a couple of times before turning away and using the shadows to flee.
Honestly... I think that it would only be proper for my first big target to be the station. Now I just need to figure out the details. And it shouldn't be too hard to get the basics down.
After all... I'm just a four year old, what harm could I possibly intend?
