Chapter 7
Icarus Dive

Beatriz~

My mood hadn't yet improved since the fight I had with Frost a few hours ago – even after Frost insisted that he got over it and understood my rather volatile emotion, assuring me that his love for me remain unscathed. The clouds had been so persisting today, only allowing the sunbeam to heat the earth below for a few hours before it hid the golden beam back under the veil of the storm.

The atmosphere was dull and chilling for the rest of the day. I set myself at the entrance of our hollow, waiting my mate to get back in his hunt for our dinner. The somewhat gloomy atmosphere depicted my emotions: unstable, uncertain, and mostly confused on how I should properly react with Frost's action in his endeavor to cure me. I don't know if I should be happy to know that I had chosen the right bird that willing to spend his time and effort for me; or I should be angry for his actions were uncalculated and might end up in much dire consequences.

Love… is a weird paradox. The epitome of love itself is selflessness; it seeks to give happiness for the person it treasures, even when it demands a higher sacrifice, the compliance to accept that its partner's happiness is more important is somewhat the true nature of love itself.

But on the other hand, love itself is not a one-way affection stream, but rather, reciprocation. I love Frost as much as he loves me, and seeing him exposed himself under the rain looking for something to help me without thinking about himself inflicted a deep chasm of concern. Surely though that I wanted the best for him, he is not my shield, not my protector… he is the bird that I am more than proud to call him as my mate.

These two contradictory emotions are the reason I was set ablaze earlier; I want to thank him for loving me as he should have, but surely there is some better way he can show his love for me rather than hurling himself into the tempest. Yet perhaps in that condition, he wasn't left with too much options, and his actions – which either triggered on purpose or involuntary – weren't something I believe completely uncalculated.

I sighed, this rather new insight overwhelmed my body and soul. The argument was merely a tiny fraction of the possible more fights and arguments we will have in the future. The prospect didn't actually make me feel any better on how to react with this… especially when we will have a family sooner or later.

This sense of foreboding somehow twisted my gut.

A shadow soon appeared in the distance, breaking my train of thought as it appeared closer towards our hollow. I could see a mound of bright-colored acerola berries taunting my empty stomach as I recalled the burst of sweet flavor it could bring.

"Sorry it took longer than it should, the rain somehow changed how the jungle look like." Frost stated as he collected the discarded berries and threw it into a neat mound next to me.

"Not a regular dinner, I see." I said, taking one of the berries and pinched the red orb; the promising sweet taste soon overloaded my savory senses. "What's the occasion?"

"Do we really need an occasion to have a… different dinner?" Frost cocked his eyebrows and snickered, "I've grown tired of the limited numbers of food we can eat here in the jungle. I miss the pancake."

"Oh wow, Frost; I never know you are really into human food." I chomped another berries and swallowed it with a satisfying gulp. "But perhaps, we are on the same boat."

"Yeah." That was his last response that terminated our chatting session, welcoming the silence to host the next moment of our dinner. I didn't know how – or maybe, what – to do to admonish the awkward silence between us, considering Frost mostly staring at the black sky with no stars – thanks to the cloud – as if he was trying to spot something uncanny in the seemingly normal night.

Or perhaps… there was something else.

My chest tightened when I the argument resurfaced, I know he had already told me that that argument didn't change anything, any aspect or damaging the love he had for me, but somehow, his silent action spoke louder than his words.

I hung my head, trying to cope with the fact that he probably had a different view about me now. I silently took the last piece of the berries where our talon touched together, "Oh… Sorry, you can have the last one." I said with the most even voice I could muster.

"You can have it, I'm not that hungry. Just want to freshen my beak." He offered the berry to me. "I wish I can see the star tonight."

I reluctantly accepted his offer and chewed the berries while listening to his words, "I really want to show my Mom and Dad something."

"Frost, look… I'm sorry about ear-"

He raised his eyebrows and asked, "What do you mean?"

"I know you're probably upset because of our fight, it's-"

I didn't finish my sentence when he pulled me closer to his embrace and whispered, "I'm not mad at you; I can't be mad at you." He nuzzled my head, "I just want to tell my parents that I have a mate now, a loving and caring mate."

"When I told you that I love you, Beatriz, I mean it. Hm?" He rested his head on my head.

"What did I do to deserve you?" I asked softly, enjoying his warmth encompassing me.

"You've changed my life, Bia. You give me a chance to love and be loved. If you don't deserve me, no other birds will."

All of my negative emotions had evaporated when the radiance of his love reached my heart. I was sure it beat faster than it normally did, akin to the first time I heard him confess his love for me when we were little. I couldn't help but to beam and close my eyes, to enjoy him, my mate, pampering me with a large dose of his selfless love to me.

Perhaps I should take a note or two about the necessities of fights and arguments within a relationship (while I am surely didn't want it happen out of control) to test the durability of it and in the end, reaffirmation to reinforce the already unbreakable chain.

I recalled how intense our kiss and love when we succumbed ourselves into each other embrace, to become one flesh reunited for eternity.

And the only thing I could remember that night, was simply pure bliss.


My Mom always told me that pregnancies are something incredibly unpredictable. It is usually happened in a way you don't exactly expected. Some may wait for eternity to have their own, the yearning to have their own offsprings, yet never really been blessed with; the other might never want an offspring in their life, yet they are given with it.

It's almost like a bad Korean drama when it comes to this (though more exaggerated, because… drama) pregnancies case. In that dramas, pregnancies have always been a much simpler concept to grasp; you have sex with someone and in the next morning, you got yourself pregnant with a one-hundred percent accuracy.

Either the baby will survive or not is going to be another story, because it wasn't always the result of reciprocated love, but mostly, accidental sex (drunken, aphrodisiac, or in some certain case, rape) and whatnot.

However, if one accepts to keep the baby, the task of taking care of them have always been depicted as something not so arduous to do; but according to Uncle Rafael testimonial – or rather, how I looked upon his family – the reality and fantasy are just the exact opposite.

Was I ready? To be honest, I wasn't sure. But knowing I'd been spending time with Frost doing what mates should have been doing, I know that like it or not, I should be ready when it comes to me eventually.

But I didn't know it happened that soon.

According to the fact, pregnancies rate spans from 30% to 95% to all the animal kingdom with macaw species being the average fertility but low survivability with the chicks (especially my species and hybrids; I'm not sure about hybrids, but my species rarity was to blame for this fact).

I had seen some other peers that I had struggling to have their own progenies soon, but never exactly bore any result or simply the rather low survivability rate (this is a scientific data, I know it should not be confused with the random chance and coincidence of the nature itself) was to blame for it. Thankfully enough, I've never seen someone carried fertile eggs without her proper mate – the 'mates for life' thing in macaw's society – but certainly, the case of some birds carried eggs after their first intercourse is extremely rare.

It happened to me nonetheless…

When I woke up that morning, I felt something different within my body. There was an aching in my belly when I moved myself in some certain directions. I couldn't describe perfectly what really happened with my body, but for the most of all, I could feel a solid object inside it as I stirred from my position, not to mention the odd feeling of lightheaded and my irregular heartbeat.

Frost was sleeping upwards with his beak mumbling an incomprehensive clause within his sleep – which reminded of my Dad's habit of snoring. I silently rose from my slumber, pressing my wings around my belly to inspect the bizarre sensation I was having.

My eyes widened in shock as I recognize the hard object inside my stomach, though I wasn't really sure just yet, I couldn't help but to smile as bright as the sun for the fact that I was carrying eggs.

I was carrying my own progenies.

I was euphoric to wake Frost up and told him the news, but considering that this might be a false alarm from my lack of experience in carrying, I planned to tell him after I am one-hundred percent sure that I was indeed carrying eggs.

The feeling, however, couldn't be repressed. My skin was tingling and my insides were twisting in a form of my utmost happiness. I was lucky, to be blessed with my own chicks sooner than I had predicted, but at the same time, I was nervous about the future I might endure.

This time was something for real that all the things I'd learned and heard about raising chicks will come to use. I wasn't sure if I able to do it the way my Mom and Dad had done to me (which in my opinion, was the best parenting method I could imprint with), but the happiness and joy from knowing I will soon have little chicks on my own dismissed the concerned thought quickly.

I couldn't contain my smile, even so after Frost was confused with my sudden happiness, "Uh… Bia… Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, I'm very well, thank you!" I answered happily, humming a random tone without even my initial purpose to do so.

"You seems so happy…?" He inquired once more.

"I will tell you later, meanwhile I'm going to-"

"Bom dia, irmã!" Tiago swooped in all of the sudden without precaution, I swear I could get a heart attack if he kept popping out of nowhere, "e meu cunhado também." [Good morning, sis!], [And my brother in law too.]

"You've been visiting me regularly lately." I said, recovering from the preliminary shock of his abrupt appearance, "I take it you are going to do something with Frost, again."

He shot Frost a stern glare. "You did tell her did you?"

Defensively, Frost replied, "Wait what? No, I didn't!"

"Then how she…oh right, I'm not going to question you." Tiago replied, I'm willing to bet that he was cursing me as an egghead within.

Frost snickered, "So, did you have a plan?"

Tiago moaned, "Can we talk somewhere else please? This bird will not let me live if she finds out I am trying to woo a girl... Cheese and sprinkles…"

I chortled and quipped, "Perhaps you should start with regurgitating for her, Tiago. Girls will find that sweet."

"Re… re what? Even as an adult, Bia. I'm still baffled with your vocabulary list." He scratched his head, "And see! This is exactly what I was talking about!"

"You'll live little bro, you'll live."

He groaned and pulled Frost out of the hollow who was still chewing his breakfast. "Oi oi! At least let me swallow why don't you?!" Frost was comically choked with food and greedily slurped a bountiful of water. "What's with the haste?"

"You know why!" I swear I could see Tiago's face turned bright red as he pushed Frost from our hollow.

"I'll be back before sundown! And oh! I will get you lunch!" Frost exclaimed mid-way before I saw his figure being consumed with the horizon.

I rubbed my belly softly and whispered, "Do you feel comfortable there? Don't worry, Mommy's here."

"Mommy's here."


~Tiago~

Recently, there had been something new happened within my life, the previous so called 'love' I always stated as something unimportant had somehow assaulted me with full barrage of their force when my eyes fell upon a beautiful creature.

It was unexpected to be honest, when my chest just suddenly filled with strange emotions that I couldn't describe perfectly how. It was very unlikely coincidence when I stopped by to take some break after Dad showed me the way how I will lead the tribe one day (I know he just want to spend more time with Mom and Lía) when I couldn't cast away my gaze from her bright, crimson red plumages as she elegantly devoured the fruit.

I'd tried to talk with her, but the outcome wasn't exactly the best impression I wanted her to know about me. And so, asking someone who got the experience with girls might be work just fine.

Problem is, no one will ever let me live if I told them that I fell in love with a scarlet macaw.

This leads to the simplest way I could do, asking for a help from a bird I know how to seal his beak: Frost. The fact that he had the experience with my sister for like ten years made me certain that he must had something that can help me, a secret way or some sort of things he had done to my sister.

I never really think this far, knowing that everything around me had been changed for the last few years. Time cascades like a river with no end, and it just too overwhelming sometimes to learn that once I was trying to steal Bia's book as a prank, now she is a mate of her childhood sweetheart.

Surely enough, they must had done something to maintain such level of romance and love all the way.

Frost told me that he didn't know exactly how to court a girl (and I got my hopes high that he can at least provide me something…) all he said was he just showed his love for Bia and that was it.

It irked me to fathom that even someone like Frost is clueless on how to incept a relationship (I forgot his extremely shy personality), but he assured me that if I am serious, a way will come to me eventually.

But eventually wasn't good enough for me.

Amanda was a nice bird to get know to, she wasn't shy, but not exactly aggressive either. Starting a conversation with her wasn't exactly an awkward thing to do, but to maintain the conversation from leaning into that awkward level, does. I had tried to spend more time with her, but it seemed that all the things I did was just scaring her away, this leads me frustrating to learn about this.

I'd tried, believe me, to liberate myself from this 'love', yet every time I blink my eyes, I could saw her figure in the distance for a couple of seconds. And the more I saw how lucky Frost and Bia to love each other, the more this urge suffocating me.

Frost had been so patient to help me with some little things, he always told me that I just need to let it out, be myself, and she will come around; it will be much easier if you don't have a nervous wreck when you do it.

But steadily, we had make some progress. Amanda had been spending more time with me, though I didn't yet have the gut to ask her for dinner or some sort, it at least giving me some hopes that I could end up like Frost; with a family I could love for.

This is exactly why I was rushing myself to wake up as early as I could and flew straight to meet my cunhado.

Honestly, I never know if they had been mates mates or not. At some point they act like how mates should have act, while some other time, I could see an invisible barrier between them.

But knowing them, and not to mention their testimonial of love for the last ten years, I would not place any doubt that this will escalate into something bad; I can't think of anything else that might put them apart.

I could notice that Frost wasn't exactly content after I dragged out him from his hollow. I feel guilty to take him from his family in such early morning, and for that alone I wasn't trying to push my luck.

Frost might not be assertive, but I do know that deep within, he had a beast locked down, and I wasn't planning to unleash that beast upon me.

"So… Frost, did you have any plan for today?"

"Wait what? Since when I become the planner?" He shook his head, "You should start doing this on your own, Tiago. I mean, Amanda doesn't seem so hard to approach, and by my standards, you've exceeded my skills already."

"Believe me, I've tried. Having you around make me sure that I am doing the right thing, since, you know, ten years with Bia?"

His beak arched upwards before it burst in a glorious laugh, "Since when you become this… attached to love, Tiago. You always told me that this sort of things is mushy."

"I grew up, that's why." I rolled my eyes, "Come on, help a bird out!"

"Claro, irmão. Vamos." He flapped his wings faster, achieving his trademark fast flying. [Okay, brother. Come on.]

"That's Cunhado for now, Frost. You are my sister's mate… that gave me a question… did you guys…?"

"Oh, yeah, we did."

"So you are now officially her mate, huh? Expecting chicks soon?"

He situated himself on the branch beneath us, "Well, I won't say that I'm one-hundred percent sure that I'm ready for chicks… you know me… I never have a Dad; how can you expect someone like me to become a Dad?"

"Well… I'm sure you are going to be a great Dad." I assured him, "Besides, you successfully maintain a relationship with Bia for that long, I bet taking care of chicks is a piece of cake for you."

"There's nothing like a piece of cake in raising chicks, Tiago. This job is just too important, and failure is not an option." He craned his neck to inspect something beneath the dense jungle foliage.

I could only nod and replied, "Yeah, one day, Frost. One day I hope I can understand just the way you think."

"You will, trust me. In fact, your lover is there eating her breakfast." He motioned his wings towards the greenery in front of us, "Go greet her."

"Huh? Oh… What should I talk to her?"

"Holy feathers! Didn't we talk about this yester… two days ago?" He slapped his wings to his face, "Okay, okay. I'm trying to understand you here."

"Try to say good morning, maybe ask about good breakfast?"

"That sounds… ridiculous." I groaned, "I mean, why should I ask her about food?"

"In retrospect, you are right… Well, did you get any information about what does she like? Or what kind things you both have in common? Like I know that Bia likes to explore and research random stuff."

"I just know that she likes mangos."

"Okay… that's very informative…" Frost said sarcastically, "You know what? Just go."

"What?" I was taken aback when he suddenly glided towards Amanda, "Excuse me, lass. I believe someone here wants to talk with you." He then motioned his wing towards me, "He is my cunhado, I bet you know him already?"

Amanda looked baffled with Frost's sudden entrance, but replied nonetheless, "Tiago, não?"

I too, flew closer towards him with a clenched beak and awkward smile, "Oi Amanda, está tudo bem?" [Hi Amanda, how's everything going?]

I swear I saw Frost chuckled as he withdrew himself to search for breakfast (excuse, I am completely aware), serving me to walk on thin ice. I don't know if I should thank him for initiating this act, or should I groan in protest for the result itself wasn't exactly the one I wanted.

"I'm fine, Tiago." She replied me smoothly, "What do you want to talk about? Seems like something important?"

"Eh… I… um…" I exhaled, "I was looking for the best mango?" I continued with a reluctant voice, "Yeah, did you know where I can find the best mango here?"

She seemed amused and answered, "That's not what you want to ask me, is it not?"

I smiled weakly, "Yeah… actually…"

Her silky smooth voice then reassured me, "I will answer if you ask." She was somehow aware my very purpose to meet her was to ask her out.

I shook my head, arched my chest forward and tried to look as masculine as I could before I asked, "Do you have any plan tonight?"

"No, I don't think I had any plan tonight." She replied in a somewhat sultry voice, "Why?"

Sometimes, I want to dig a hole, fill myself with dirt, moss and dried leaves to bury myself so no one will able to see the embarrassment that burning hot in my body. She obviously tried to tease me. "I… I want to ask you out for tonight… you know… dinner and stuff."

"Did you really just asking me out?"

Cristo! Did she need to torture me like this?

"Yes."

"You do realize that we are a different, right?"

I groaned, "You know… I'll just take that as a no." I diverted my gaze in defeat.

"But I didn't say no." Now her voice was full of tiny chuckle, "Oh Tiago! Aren't you so tense?"

My cheeks were red as red as a scarlet macaw's plumages from the fire of embarrassment that engulfed me from her teasing. I never know Amanda was such a teaser, she managed to make me blush and stammer more than everyone else had ever done to me. This, however, attracted me more to her, because in my eyes, she was charming.

"So… is that a yes?"

"Sim, Tiago." She beamed a teasing smile.

"Great! I will… we will meet here again? I will have everything planned for tonight." I said confidently this time.

"Surprise me." She pecked my cheek which made me blush even redder than before.

"Auh… Okay. I… uh… I need to get it-"

"Amanda! Where've you been?" A male voice resonated from the jungle foliage before an older figure of a scarlet macaw appeared, "There you are, what are you doing there?"

I tightened my beak, "Quem é?" I asked her. [Who is that?]

"Ele é meu irmão, Jose." She explained, "And I need to get going. Will meet you here tonight, não? Espera-me irmão!" She exclaimed as she flew towards her brother. [He is my brother, Jose], [Wait me, brother!]

My insides were intertwining and my heart galloping faster than ever. The tingling sensation was warm and addictive inside me; pure euphoric was probably the best description I could use. I did a little dance of happiness while chanted, "I have a date! I have a date!" Before I felt a nudge in my back.

My bubble of happiness was dispersed instantly as humiliation started to form when I heard giggles, "I take it everything went well, eh, cunhado?"

I breathed a sigh of relief as Frost's familiar voice reached my ears, "You scared me."

"Scared of what?" He asked, "Someone found you dancing and singing like a crazed bird?"

"Ha ha ha, very funny, Frost." I replied sarcastically, "But really… I feel funny now."

"Let me guess; you feel ticklish on the skin, can't resist to smile, somehow you also feel your body is lighter than usual and right now, you imagined about a romantic kiss with her." He rolled his eyes, "Am I right?"

"How did you…?"

"Yeah, you are indeed in love. I always feel like that when-"

"Please spare me your mating details."

"Uuuhh…. I… wasn't going to get that far." He stuttered.

"Look how's laughing now, huh?" I snickered as we proceeded to prepare for my date.


~Frost~

Love comes in many ways, some requires a certain (and rather dramatic) sacrifices before it bloom in a titillating fragrance, while some just come to you eventually.

Tiago's condition reminded me when I was trying to tell Bia that I love her. It was full of surprises and adventure until the time I could relay the love I had reserved just for her; the reciprocation from her love completed me in sheer joy.

Though his condition – not to sound offensive – was far more amusing than what happened with me and Bia. He finally accepted the fact that he wanted to have a romantic relationship, sharing his affections and care towards the bird he loves the most; and this time, love proves to me that it doesn't care about what race or species you are.

Sure though, the concept of a Spix's macaw fell in love with a scarlet macaw was considerable new to accept – if not impossible – but I took it as the form of love, which proved the universality of how it works.

I saw my own reflection when he busied himself to preen as best as he could, asking me the best spot and food to his first date, tips and the proper moment to do any possibilities that I believed didn't actually matter.

"How am I look like?" He asked me countless time, styling his crest feathers again and again.

"Tiago…"

"Should I bring food or let her snatch it for herself?"

"Tiago…"

"Ugh… will it rain tonight?"

"Sweet dear Cristo… you need to calm down!" I assured him, "Relax, what you should worry is not all of that, but just to be yourself."

"Huh? I am myself, how's that helping me?"

"Really? Preening yourself all day? Forecasting the weather? What are you? A weather forecast?" I jiggled my head, "Be yourself, girls like boys who are themselves."

"You always make it so simple." He exhaled sharply, "I simply nervous about this."

"What do you think about my first date with Bia? It was a complete disaster! Carlos showed up and ruined the moment…" I groaned when the memory resurfaced.

"Not helping…"

"I know, but you got a higher chance that… Caramba!" My eyes widened as I realized the sun had passed it highest peak

"Huh? What is it, Frost?"

"Bia's lunch! How can I forget?!"

"Well crap." He echoed my initial reaction, "You probably should go now."

I would probably reply that with sarcasm if I wasn't rushed to find some lunch for my mate. "Are you sure you are going to be okay?"

"Yeah… I think so…" His replied was unconvincing, but I left with no options.

"Just remember, be yourself." I remarked one last time before I projected myself into the sky, heading for the nearest food source available.

The Brazil nut was my only choice. I hastily jerked two nuts from the trees and heading straight towards my hollow, praying to heavens that Bia wasn't going to be upset with my lateness.

My heartbeat began to pace as I approached our hollow – well, also the fact that I was flying as fast as I can – and I feared the worst of it. I donned myself with a smile despite the fact that I was going to fly through a possible storm; to calm myself and explain to my mate that my tardiness wasn't on purpose.

Bia was talking with someone when I prepared myself to land on our hollow. My eyes narrowed into mere slits as I recognized the bird she was talking to.

My claws suddenly itched for a scratch.


A/N: So again, one month since the last update *sigh*. Anyway, I manage to do something about writing this (not to mention some kind of motivation from my friend to continue it faster.)

After the final checkup, I think this is the final version. I've fixed broken sentences, fixing all the incorrect grammar, though it might not be completely devoid, I will make sure it is as best as it will go.

Please leave your review to save a writer.

Thanks!

-Froxy

I

I

I

V