Hiccup groaned softly as a golden head bobbed in his lap, his fingers curled in her hair. The haze of their intoxicating pass time drifted around them in a soft white fog, easing their worries and calming their nerves. Hiccup hadn't wanted to do it at first, weed had never been something he was interested in, but Astrid had been curious and wanted to experiment. She had heard it made sex more exciting and wanted to test it. Ruffnut had offered to supply the bud, but advised that she be there in case one of them have a bad reaction.

"You won't freak out or anything" she had explained, "But it can make you sick if you get bad stuff or are allergic, so it's always smart to be careful and have someone around that can keep their shit together when they smoke." It had seemed sound advice, and Ruffnut had been, for once, completely serious about it. However, Astrid should have been more suspicious of her roommate's ulterior motives. Yet here they were, a girl that was not Astrid sucking on her boyfriend's cock while she watch, enraptured.

"This. Is. So. Hot" she said blearily, more excited than she should have been. She was sitting not fifteen feet away in just a pair of cotton panties, watching intently as Ruffnut demonstrated her considerable oral skills on her boyfriend. Hiccup seemed to be enjoying himself, and that made Astrid giggle. Ruffnut lifted her head from Hiccup's lap and looked back, over her shoulder, at her roommate.

"Okay, now I know why you like giving him head," she said with a wolfish grin. Ruffnut had gotten naked almost right away, something Hiccup wasn't exactly complaining about. He hadn't started it, he had been completely against it at first, but Astrid had egged him on, insistently.

"No you should totallylet her do it," she had said, overly excited. "Ruff is fuckin awesome at blowing cock, and I totally want to watch!"

It was something Hiccup hadn't expected out of her, but then again this was the same girl that had demanded he tie her down, blind fold her and fuck her until her bed broke. He supposed he should have seen it coming.

Hiccup had never seen a girl with priced nipples before, let alone genitalia, in real life and he had to admit, he kind of liked it. He wondered what it would feel like to have the hard steel in his mouth alongside the stiff rosy flesh of her nipple. Granted, it probably felt a lot like the hard steel ball drifting up and down the shaft of his cock.

"So, Astrid?" he said with a soft giggle. "Have you ever considered getting a tongue ring?" Ruffnut grinned up at him, waggling her tongue at him erotically. "Right?"

When he felt his cock slide into Ruffnut's throat his fingers fisted in her hair, his eyes rolling back into his skull. He must have done something right because she started moaning. It might have been the weed, or maybe Ruffnut was actually that good, but Hiccup found himself losing control faster than he wanted to. She didn't complain, but did take her time swallowing.

"Fuck he tastes good" she moaned, lifting her head a little breathless.

"Right?" Astrid said, giggling to herself. "Like, better than spooge should. Whao..." She went quiet for a few seconds, as if some great truth had just been revealed to her. "I totally just watched my boyfriend get a blow job...and I'm not pissed off, like, at all!"

"Yeah" Hiccup agreed. "And I'm, like, totally not guilty about it. At all. What's with that?"

"Maybe it's because, you're like, right there and because your apart of it, it's not like he's cheating on you" Ruffnut offered sagely, sitting back on her bare ass to think deeply on the subject. "It's all, like, mutual and natural and inclusive. You're not letting him cheat or anything you're just, like, sharing him."

"That's totally it!" Astrid agreed. "It's because I'm here and I get to enjoy it and totally want to see him fuck you." It all seemed so obvious, so clear, like they had all tapped into a universal truth about sex and pleasure and relationships."

"Exactly, hey, you mind if he eats me out?"

"God no" Astrid said, shaking her head. "So long as I get to watch." her panties came off, disappearing somewhere behind her.

"Well I'm not going anywhere," Ruffnut said, falling more than rolling onto her back, legs spread wide. "Fuck, if all I had to do to get licked by Hiccup was get you high, I'd of done it ages ago." Astrid was a fit of giggles as Hiccup crawled awkwardly onto his hands. His shirt was still on and his pants were around his ankles, tying him up in what must have been hysterical because Astrid was having trouble breathing for all the laughing she was doing. Frustrated, Hiccup kicked off his pants all together and threw off his shirt, coming to rest a tad shakily between Ruffnut's legs. He heard Astrid snort before Ruffnut's legs clamped around his ears. It felt like she was trying to crush the life out of him, but it was somehow worth it.

His tongue work was clumsy at first and it must have showed, because Astrid was at his side, whispering in his ear. Eventually, she nudged him out of the way and took his spot. She licked her friend a few times, sucked on her clit, and then returned Hiccup to her sex. He was better this time, more focused, and soon had Ruffnut's toes curling in delight. She actually squealed when her clit ring slipped into his lips. When he looked up her body to gage her face, Hiccup found his girlfriend locked in a heated kiss with her. He also noticed that Ruffnut's hand disappeared into Astrid's thighs and could vaguely see her wrist moving. She must have been fingering her…that was really hot. He groaned around Ruffnut's clit, which made her moan.

Hiccup returned his attention to his work, licking and sucking and spearing his tongue into Ruffnut as best he could. He wasn't sure how long he was focusing on her, but when he looked up again he was greeted with Astrid's immaculate ass obstructing his view. She was straddling Ruffnut's face, grinding her cunt against her roommate's lips. She seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself.

Astrid pinched her right nipple and let out a moan, rolling her hips on Ruffnut's face as that clever little tongue of hers ravaged her in a familiar but forgotten way. Suddenly, Ruffnut squealed and bucked up into Astrid, making her moan as Ruffnut's nose pressed into her clit. She looked over her shoulder, trying to figure out what had happened to see Hiccup lifting his face, covered in wet goo. She laughed, which dissolved into a moan. Hiccup must have made Ruffnut cum pretty hard for that reaction. She felt more than saw her boyfriend stand up and clean his face with his shirt.

"Come here" she moaned, pulling him in for a kiss. She wondered why she hadn't just done this earlier? What was so bad about fucking Hiccup with her best friend? Had that first threesome with Ruff been so bad? She couldn't remember, she didn't think it had been. But there was one thing she knew for certain. This was awesome, and would have to be repeated. Many, many times if she had anything to say about it.

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Hiccup was the first to wake, a little confused why there were two warm bodies next to him instead of just the one. He blushed as his memory of the night returned. He was also surprised to find how clear headed and well rested he felt. No painful head ache or gross, disgusting greasy feeling. Well, at least not from the weed. He felt a body stir next to him and turned to see Ruffnut waking up. He gulped, not sure what to do.

"Oh, hey" she said in a husky purr, looking at him through heavily lidded eyelashes. She leaned over and gave him an almost uncomfortably deep kiss, though after the night before there wasn't much that could be called uncomfortable. "You fuck like a god" she said, suddenly over him. "What'do ya say? Wanna go again before Astrid wakes up?" Hiccup turned so red it hurt, because the truth was he kinda did.

"I don't...I don't know." Ruffnut smiled, a weird sort of half smile that was part disappointed part expectant.

"I didn't think so" she said sitting up on her knees. "But hey, if you ever want this?" She leaned back, spreading her labia with a wink. "It's yours" she licked her lips and stood up, scrounging her clothes off his floor the headed for the bathroom. He heard the shower come on a few seconds later. Astrid woke shortly after. She glanced around then groaned, her head returning to her pillow with a thud.

"We totally had a threesome with Ruffnut, huh?"

"Yup" Hiccup confirmed.

"Was it good? You know, for you?"

"Yeah" he admitted again, blushing only a little this time. Astrid turned her head to look at him, sighing.

"Good...cause I kinda want it to happen again." She sounded almost begrudging, like she hated that she loved it. Hiccup just shrugged.

"I'm down." He smirked, his large, long fingered hand finding the right cheek of her ass. "Maybe I could tie you down next time." He felt her shiver and chuckled. "And maybe next time well do it sober."

"Sounds like a plan."

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"Hey, what house are you in?"

Hiccup frowned and looked up from his laptop.

"What do you mean?" He tilted his head at Astrid, who was lying in bed next to him on her own laptop. "I'm in your house."

"No, Harry Potter. What house are you in." This did not solve his confusion.

"Uhhh, I don't know?"

"Pottermore. What house?"

"What the hell is Pottermore?" Astrid looked at him like he had just sprouted a second head.

"This is happening," she said, turning her attention back to her laptop, typing away furiously.

"What is happening?" Hiccup repositioned himself to get a better look at her screen. She was on a website. In the span of about ten seconds she had filled in his name, birthdate, email address and had even written him a password.

"Hey, don't do that," he protested, reaching for her computer.

"Relax, I used your normal password," she said, effortlessly dodging his grabbing hands.

"No! Don't sign me up for a - hey how do you know my usual password?" She paused only long enough to look at him, a disappointed expression her face.

"Please." Was all she said before going back to work? Hiccup groaned and sank back to the pillows, she was right, this was happening.

"Okay, answer these questions as truthfully and seriously as you possibly can."

"And if I refuse?"

"No sex for a month."

"Oh right, like you could go that long."

"Who says I'd have too?"

He frowned at her and reluctantly took the laptop, answering the admittedly interesting questions as best and as honestly as he could. He lifted and eyebrow as the screen changed, reading Congratulations, you have been sorted into Slytherin House.

"Well what house did you get?" Astrid asked impatiently. He tilted the screen at her and grinned cheekily. "What!? She cried, indignant. "You mean I'm fucking a snake? Really?"

"Seems so, wait, what house are you in?"

"Hufflepuff," she moaned, annoyed.

"Is that bad?"

"Kinda, not really. Not the most incompatible. But, yeah, pretty bad."

"Why, I thought Puffs were supposed to get along with everyone?"

"Well...yeah but..." She groaned and stared at the ceiling, apparently attempting to accept the fact that she was sleeping with a Slytherin.

"Well, I need to get to work, you come to grips with...whatever and I'll see you tomorrow. Oh hey, can I snag a shower?"

Astrid just continued to stare at the ceiling, muttering about how life was unfair.

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Retail is one of those industries that no one thinks is that bad, until they work in them. When Hiccup first landed the job at Macy's, he was overjoyed, excited, and eager to interact with new people and learn a little about them. To his credit, his enthusiasm lasted for a lot longer than most. But after three months of being told to make decisions for himself and put the customer first, only to be berated by his manager for not making his sales goals or keeping an area clean, Hiccup was ready to bounce his name tag off the glassiest part of his middle eastern bosses bald spot.

He was so, outrageously done.

The clothing he sold was shit, utter shit. The cheapest stuff would fall apart in days and the mid-level stuff was always, always marked up and easy forty percent. Brands like Calvin Clien and Kenneth Cole were always expected to do well, but priced thirty or forty dollars more than it should be. And he knew it too because after a couple weeks on the floor he'd see his so called 'privet collection' sitting on the clearance rack marked down to pennies. The only thing he sold that was even remotely worthwhile was Polo Ralph Lauren, but none of his customers were willing to shell out eighty five bucks for a polo shirt.

What really got him though, wasn't the way his bosses treated him, or the store or even his coworkers. Shit, he loved the people he worked with. It was the customers that really set his teeth on edge. Always whining about how expensive shit was when the sad truth was, if they actually bought the expensive stuff, they would find themselves buying clothes a whole lot less. At first he couldn't figure it out, couldn't put his finger on why the people that shopped at Macy's bugged him so much. After all, it was just regular folks looking for a decent deal right?

Then it hit him.

His customer base were garage sale shoppers, always looking to get things for the absolute cheapest they could. And what killed him was that most of the people he worked with honestly just wanted to save a buck here or there, because life and food and kids are fucking expensive. It wasn't those folks that bugged him, it was the people that had eight credit cards, no money and no budget for clothing. At least at Macy's prices. He supposed he should have seen it coming. Hell, training the stupid video warned him to never send someone to a bargain store if their clothes were outside their price range. Yup, hug red flag there.

"Retail sucks" moaned a heavy set kid from behind him. He was blond and round and totally the wrong personality type to work at a place like this. Way too smart, even if he didn't always show it.

"I hear ya Fishlegs" Hiccup sighed.

He had just gotten to listen to the poor kid get yelled at in broken English by a disgruntled customer. Something about too much money for a shirt, or something. The irony of course being that the item in question was a women's blouse, which were all down stairs. Even if Fishlegs had understood everything the old bat had been saying, he had no idea what the original price of the blouse was because the mark down sticker covered the old price. After fuming and flailing around like, well something really racist, the old woman finally gave up, threw the blouse at Fishlegs and told him, in perfect English this time, that his manager would be hearing from her.

"At least we're in Young Men's" Hiccup said in a weak attempt to sooth the obviously upset Fishlegs. "We only have to deal with that kind of customer once a day." Fishlegs laughed weakly. "Why don't you go give the fitting rooms a walk through, I'm sure it's a wreck back there."

"Sure thing Hiccup" he said, looking relived to get off the sales floor, if only for a few minutes.

"Oh and if you find any American Rag bring it out, I've got a bunch that needs to go back," he called, going back to folding shirts.

"Hey Hiccup, what keeps you going here?" Fishlegs asked as he returned from the fitting rooms, his arms weighed down with a ridiculous amount of unfolded, mangled and wrinkled shirts.

"The rough sex of a good woman" Hiccup joked. Fishlegs went red. "And the fact that I have money to go out and do things with her."

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So, yeah, sorry this was late, I guess/ Even though it wasn't and fuck you all because I do this when I want to? Seriously, I write this at work when I am bored and have time and this is not an overarching story, it's a drabble series. I write whatever comes to mind and a lot of it has nothing to do with this, so yeah.