Chapter 7: Oh How The Mighty Fall In Love

"I'm comin', I'm comin'." Rick called out to whoever was frantically banging on the front door of his apartment at ten in the morning. He'd been in the back bedroom trying to get a couple hours rest before his afternoon shift started, but his hopes of getting any sleep were now dashed.

He looked through the peephole to see a somewhat disheveled looking Murphy wiping at his eyes with one hand as his other rose to knock again. Rick opened the door before Murphy had a chance to bring his knuckles down on it again, and immediately pulled the man inside with him, putting his hands on Murphy's shoulders.

"What happened? Is everything alright?" Rick asked, his eyes full of concern for the man who stood before him, looking a lot like a lost little boy.

Murphy nodded and sniffled, trying to wipe his eyes again; he couldn't meet Rick's eyes, wouldn't have been able to see Rick through the haze of his tears in the first place, and so he kept his stare fixedly pointed in the general area of Rick's heart instead. "M'fine. Just got into a fight with Connor's all."

"Connor, like your ex?" Rick raised an eyebrow as he released his grip on Murphy's shoulders.

Murphy's breath hitched in his throat, giving him a moment's reprieve to think of a suitable answer to this question. He couldn't tell Rick that Connor was his twin brother; that certainly wouldn't fly well with the sheriff, and Rick would dump him in half a heartbeat. But he didn't know of a good enough story to tell to explain why he was fighting with Connor, who was supposed to be out of his life as his ex, either.

"Well, he's m'roommate, too. Times'r tough, ya know? S'only temporary, til one of us gets 'nough money t'move out." Murphy let this lie slip through his lips as easily as if it were the truth, though he felt guilty about it immediately after. It was a shitty story, first of all, and Rick might see right through him, if he could get past all the hysterics. Second of all Connor was his twin brother, not just some ex or roommate, and brushing Connor off like that made the whole ordeal just that much worse, because some part of him could feel how hurt his brother would be if he heard these words.

Rick nodded for a moment, processing what Murphy had just said. He could understand the money situation; after all, his apartment wasn't the nicest one in Boston, and he was still trying to learn how to get by on a different salary. But that didn't mean that Murphy should suffer just because he wasn't able to scrounge up enough savings to go somewhere else.

And then an idea occurred to him: Murphy could move in with him. They'd already learned that Rick's bed could easily fit the two of them, and it would be nice having another person around the house to come home to. Rick didn't think he could imagine anything better than waking up to Murphy's sunshine smile every morning, and seeing the light reflecting in those perfect blue seas. And then Rick came to the realization that this was it, he was in love with Murphy, that Murphy was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, regardless of where the wind blew them.

"Murphy, would you, maybe, want to move in with me?" Rick asked softly, his voice just slightly above a whisper, his eyes desperately searching for Murphy's own, though the other man still kept them pointed at his chest.

Murphy's eyes went wide, his tears abruptly drying, the shock written across his face.

"I mean, I know we haven't known each other all that long, but I wouldn't mind having you around all the time." Rick gave Murphy a sidelong smirk, his face not betraying the hurricane of emotions battering his ribcage.

Murphy tried to absorb the brevity of the question that had just been asked of him, but he had no answer at that moment. He was torn in his decision, and didn't know what he wanted to do.

On the one hand he could move in with Rick, move right out of Connor's life, except for work at the meat-packing plant and, if he was lucky, a few extra hits. He could wake up wrapped in Rick's arms, feeling Rick's lips against the back of his neck and Rick's stubble tickling his shoulder blades, and remember what it was like to think that the sun might have been inside that other person's soul; he could wake up to the warmth of someone's love, could bask in its glow throughout the day, and curl up next to it at night. He could make love to the moon and the stars as they pushed themselves into and out of Rick's very being, bathing him in their gentle light, and he could remember what it felt like to know that he meant something to someone else, that he was important to someone in some way that he had never been before. Connor didn't want him anyway, right? Connor had grown tired of his bullshit, and Murphy would be doing him a favor by leaving him.

On the other hand he could stay with Connor, who he loved more than life itself. Maybe it was stupid, especially after all this time, to still be in love with someone who clearly wanted nothing to do with him, but Murphy still wanted to believe that they held the same soul between their two bodies, that the same blood pulsed through their veins, and that they weren't two separate beings, but rather two halves of the same whole. Regardless of how Connor felt, this was what Murphy knew to be true, and it would be unbearably difficult to try and sever himself in such a way.

Connor was still the center of Murphy's universe, the sun to his entire solar system, and Rick was merely a moon orbiting him and hoping for a chance at a closer gravitational pull. Connor was every star twinkling in Murphy's vast, empty heart, and Rick was just a space shuttle trying to learn more about the world. But he didn't think there was a way to make Connor see that anymore.

So he would pull Rick closer, try to bury his love and longing for his twin inside of Rick, give him the love that he deserved. And maybe he could truly be happy that way, even without Connor beside him. Maybe Murphy could be content with Rick in a way that he never had been with Connor.

"A'right, Rick. I'll move in with ye." Murphy's lips curved into a slight smile, his eyes finally meeting Rick's.

And then Rick was the one to start crying, though he smiled while he did so. He instantly wrapped Murphy in his arms, circling the man in his gentle embrace, and pulled him closer, his lips finding Murphy's.

Rick was soft at first, adoring, showing how much he truly appreciated Murphy's decision, and Murphy responded accordingly, their mouths moving in tandem. And then Murphy was swept off the ground and into Rick's strong arms, being carried into the bedroom. Murphy had never been carried anywhere in his life, except by his Ma when he was younger; Lord knows Connor probably wouldn't be able to pick him up, considering they were roughly the same size and weight. Just one more thing that proved that Rick was the better choice.

Rick laid Murphy down on the mattress amongst the sea of wrinkled bed sheets and pillows, his lips trailing down the curve of Murphy's throat as he pushed up his shirt. Murphy could feel Rick's fingers against his skin, could feel his core heating with the touch, but something seemed wrong.

The sight of Connor bowing his head toward the table, his tears splashing down onto the backs of his hands, his face contorted in an odd form of agony, filled Murphy's mind, and suddenly nothing but his brother mattered anymore. How would Connor react when Murphy told him he was moving out? Would he start crying again, and pretending that he wasn't? Would he continue trying to hide his feelings, as if Murphy wasn't affecting him at all? Murphy didn't think he could bear seeing Connor cry again; in fact he was certain that his heart would rip right down the middle if he put that look back on Connor's face.

"Murphy, what's wrong?" Rick's concerned tone brought Murphy back to the present moment, and that's when he realized he was crying again, the wet drops rolling from the corners of his eyes into his hair and down onto the pillow beneath him.

Murphy shook his head, unable to form words around the lump in his throat, and moved to sit up. Rick immediately shifted so that he was no longer on top of Murphy, but rather beside him on the bed, and put a hand on Murphy's back to steady him.

"Did I do something wrong?" Rick asked, his voice holding nothing but worry for his love, and he gently wiped the tears from Murphy's face with his thumb.

Murphy shook his head no again, finally finding his voice. "Yer fine, Rick. M'not sure what came over me. But I think I outta go an' get my stuff, calm m'self down a little. We can pick up again when I come back." And just to prove to Rick that he was alright, Murphy placed a loving kiss on the sheriff's lips before pulling away and getting off the bed.

Rick nodded, still looking at Murphy with concern and confusion, but made no move to stop him. Murphy quietly slipped out of the apartment, dashing down the stairs and onto the street as fast as possible, in case Rick decided to try and catch up with him.

Murphy walked home, his thoughts clouded and upsetting, and prayed that he wouldn't run into anyone he knew on the way there.