EEEEHHH? Only three reviews? You guys don't love me anymore? Or did the quality drop this much? T^T And for those who did:

yaissa-chan: With the help of Uncle Google I managed to understand what you wrote – sorry I don't speak Spanish, I learned French as a second language, and Chinese as third. Don't worry about Allen, now he'll finally meet Mana. :)

Kanrei: yep, Hoshino just loves to torture her characters and drive them into insanity. I personally think that our Allen darling is not 100% :'(

thor94: I'm sorry, I don't understand completely what you're trying to say, not only English is not my mother tongue, I'm an idiot too. Allen knowing that his arm is a weapon? (I think this is what you wanted to ask). Maybe you meant chappie 4, when he felt the incomplete Crowned Clown tingle him? Feeling it as a separate being? Well, while he knows that the cross in him is inhuman, he doesn't know yet what it means :)

Though thanks for the question, now flipping through the old chappies I realise that I unconsciously slipped into Red's POV, sorry about that, I'll try to direct it back to Crowned Clown :) This chapter is actually the mix of the two.

Is this a sign that I should carry on and write something original? But I love Semi-AUs :'(. Maybe I should start another story besides this one?

Or maybe because it rather Allen POV than Crowned Clown POV?

Either way I hope this chapter will satisfy you. This one will be pretty long.

Summary: Symbiosis: cohabitation of two entities, that is beneficial to both participants. Allen hated that his Innocence was referred to as parasite – he prefers to call their relationship symbiosis. After all power comes at a price. And that price is time. Events from Crown Clown's POV.

Warning: violence, swearing, grammatical mistakes.

Pairings: none intended but can be interpreted as Crown ClownXAllen or EveryoneXAllen. Though that's still far away.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: do not own anything.

A/N.: length of chapters are uneven, sorry about that, I hope it won't ruin the experience.

Chapter 7

The next day the young Apostle handed out the breakfast to the ungrateful troop members while the dog from yesterday followed him. The boy smiled despite the fact that he had to run away from a very pissed off Cosimo, because he wasn't the first one having his food delivered. Red ran away, he was sure that if he got beaten up that would surely end him. As he continued his chores the dog followed him.

Red spared it a glance then continued the chores a little faster. If he finished early he might play with it more. He wants to be close to it. The elation he felt when he played with the dog replayed itself in his mind over and over. It was the first time in his life that he felt maybe he could feel happy after all.

Determined to finish quickly he folded the washed sheets, not even realising how much better he could use his infected arm. The other presence in him however noticed that the boy's eagerness eased the rejection. It seemed that the positive thinking and warm feelings made Red forget about his difference a little. He didn't even realise two members of the troop pass behind him.

"Strange? What happened to the acrobat?"

"Oh, him? He resigned yesterday."

Red halted his movements and clenched his teeth. It was difficult to say when a member leaves. The dog's owner too, will probably leave one day. He would not see it again. He stole a small glance at the dog who sat on the ground, its big eyes boring into him. Something warm gushed out from the depth of his soul, he felt very warm inside.

He tore his gaze away from the dog. He can't get close to it. The dog and its owner will leave him behind one day. The thought felt like cold knives being thrusted in his chest. Once it leaves it will only increase his feeling of loneliness.

Red ignored the dog for the rest of the day - he feared that if he looked at it he would break down and cry. Even then, the dog kept following him.


Red stumbled back, letting out a surprised yelp when a hard object came in contract with his face. Cosimo angrily tore the wig off his head and threw it on the floor.

"Drat!" he cursed. "It's because it slipped from my hand! Having been touched by such a dirty hand of course the ball becomes dirty! It's all your fault!"

Red masked his disgust with cold indifference, the other entity in his battered body sharing the sentiment. Blaming his own fault on an object, really people knew no shame these days.

Lately the clown has been really angry, another clown arrived who was better than him. The dog's owner. Red refused the urge to smirk, it'd only make things worse.

Even if he had smiled it would have withered under the intense glare Cosimo assaulted him with. He understood that look, he's going to be badly beaten up again. He didn't dare to make a run for it again, that would only make things worse. And no one would protect him. No one bothered to waste time on something as troublesome as him. The Innocence in him was ready to catch the signals of pain so that the little master's distress would be eased somewhat.

However it seemed Cosimo had different plans for now. "You seem really close to that dog."

Red felt like as if his empty stomach has jumped up to his throat. What did he want with it? "D-dog?" he asked back uncertainly.

"The stupid mutt that keeps following you." he confirmed. "Now listen, you mustn't tell it to anyone." He took up a pouch, that rested on his bed and shoved it in Red's bruised hands. The contents felt sharp and cold through the clothe.

Wait. Sharp and cold?

No, it can't be...

Red's heart skipped a beat when his fears were confirmed. They were tiny shards of glass. "Mix this in the dog's food." he ordered with a cruel glint in his eyes.

Red felt his insides shake. This man was serious about killing for his own personal gain.

But... but...

"But-" he was silenced by a harsh slap delivered to his bruised lips. His split lip reopened. Fantastic.

"No nonsense from you! It'll be fine until you do as long as I say, you useless brat!"

He lied. Everyone would know that Red did it. And he'd be more than happy to put the blame on him, he'd kill two birds with one stone – literally. If he did he'd be thrown out, or worse, get killed. But that's not it, that's not the reason why he doesn't want to.

He remembered it nudging him. He remembered playing with it. He remembered when unexpectedly it licked his hand in a weak moment of his. He remembered how warm it felt, both his ugly hand and his chest. He remembered the tingling sensation that remained. It cared accepted him. The dog cared for him.

...He can't!

"...I won't!" he declared easily.

Cosimo blinked in surprise, then an angry flush spread on his face. "What?" From the tone Red knew that this didn't mean I-didn't-hear-right, it was a chance to kneel down like a worm and beg for forgiveness.

He'd never do such thing.

"I won't do such thing!" he repeated boldly as he threw the bag at Cosimo's feet. Cosimo ran his hand through his hair and let out an impatient exhale. Red braced himself for the pain.

As expected Cosimo kicked him in the stomach. Red collapsed with a groan, but Cosimo wasn't done, he continued to kick the fallen boy. But Red wouldn't give in, he wouldn't hurt someone who showed care for him. Something no one wanted. Something who's been branded as a monster, a freak who had to flee from the parents who wanted – and probably still – want to kill him.

And finally, after so much misery and humiliation he meant something to someone. And god, it felt so nice. Even if the dog left him, he couldn't betray it. He won't turn on the one who cared for him, he would never become like his parents who cracked under peer pressure.

He will never say yes, even if they kill him. His vision blurred.

The Innocence panicked when it felt Red's presence slip. If this went on he WILL die!

No they can't end like this, an Apostle can't go down like this, its precious boy cannot die! It felt so incompetent, its master was taking all this pain and it was powerless to stop it. It felt helpless, it briefly wondered if this is how non-Apostle humans felt facing an Akuma. It tried to force itself in Red's nervous system, so it could move the arm that housed it, but no matter how much it tried Red's mental and physical barriers were too strong. Someone who was slowly dying, enduring such agonies had to build walls to maintain some of his remaining sanity. His parents – the words felt like a spat – had seen to it. It cried out in frustration. No one was coming for Red's rescue.

'I am going to die.' it heard Red's disappearing voice. It felt that its Wielder was at his limit, any more and the damages will be permanent. No! I can't, I won't, I need you, you are my-!

Suddenly the Innocence felt a familiar presence, accompanied by angry barks. ...It can't be!

Red registered the sound of barking before he slipped into unconsciousness.


The young Apostle groaned in pain as he woke up; since it took care of most of his injuries the Divine Substance let its Host awaken. Since it was much more powerful than its host it couldn't use all its power to heal its Master, fearing that it might do more damage. It never had a Host before so it had to be extremely careful. On top of that, the Host was only a child, his small body could be crushed under too much.

Red remembered Cosimo taking him outdoors, trying to bully him into feeding the dog the shattered glass, getting beaten up rather harshly, thus pushed to the verge of dying – and then the sound of barking before he blacked out.

Despite the pain Red shot up into sitting position, eyes wide, the strange foggy feeling in his head cut in half by the cold realisation. The dog came to his rescue. In any other situation he would be elated, relieved and even happy to have finally someone who did care for him.

But not this time. Cosimo wanted to kill it.

He had a very bad feeling.

Ignoring the throbbing of his flesh, he dashed to the main tent as fast as his shaking legs could. Entering the tent, he crossed the backstage. He sighed in relief when he spotted the dog and its owner performing. Unlike himself, he remained and continued to watch the show also paying attention to the reactions of the audience. Their eyes too, were filled with light, they laughed until they fell over and wouldn't stop clapping. They were all absorbed in the show.

Being able to make the hateful crowd cheer must have been a really hard thing. The dog wagged its tail rapidly; it was so full of light, so bright...too bright. Red had to squint his eyes. The dog and the clown were loved by the crowd.

To him this was an incomprehensible thing; to love and being loved, this had nothing to do with him. Even though it was right in front of him, he couldn't touch it. It was as if he was forced behind a window, he could see everything, the things behind it were taunting him, but he could never ever touch anything.

A warm feeling rose in his chest. He tried to keep it down. It was pointless to feel. He who was neglected, abandoned and almost-killed by his parents, isolated by others because of this arm... It was clear as day. He could never join that velvety world of light. No matter how much he wants to believe it's alright to be alone, deep inside he was still longing. He wanted it too. He envied the ones who had it. He was unable to obtain it.

A familiar bark snapped him out of his thoughts. When he came to his senses he realised that he was crying. He started to panic as the dog approached him. His thoughts were on haywire and his emotions swirled uncontrollably. 'What should I do? What should I do?' The image of the dog and the brightness flashed up in his mind.

Before he realized what he was doing he cried. "Go away!" Something landed on the ground with a dull thud. Red's breath had gone away as he realised what he had just done. In fear he kicked the dog away. He hurt the one who cared for him. No, he didn't mean to! Without thinking he turned on his heel and dashed away. He kept running unable to control his emotions: envy, jealousy... He didn't know what to do anymore.


Ever since that day the dog didn't visit him anymore. No surprise, Red sent it flying to the ground.

It was better this way. He didn't feel that lonely, he was fine. He felt no pain. There was no point in getting attached to anyone in this cruel world. He kept trying to convince himself... However he just couldn't shake off the feeling that he had just lost something important.

As he entered the kitchen to wash the dishes he spotted the dog lying next to the heater. Concern flared in his chest. What was wrong, it didn't feel well?

He couldn't keep off the choking worry, he slowly approached it. He was extremely careful, the pain he unintentionally caused him to feel guilty.

He kneeled down next to the small creature. It was lying on its side, a coat covering him. It must be its owner's. Even though it was pretty old, Red could see that it was high quality. As it laid there broken it looked older and weaker and usual.

...Would it be alright to touch it? It could hate him already. Even though he felt uneasy he gently touched it. It did not move. As he gently started to stroke its side, the dog's eyes cracked open. It stood up and shook itself. Red didn't move as it stepped closer.

The Innocence felt a familiar warmth sweep over on its surface. It licked the Cross that everyone else was disgusted of. The otherworldly thing sent an equally warm message back to the canine. It was grateful, since the dog managed to bring some minutes of happiness in its Master's life. It felt the rushes of joy and relief coursing through the boy's body.

Red felt warm inside. He knew he had been forgiven. He continued to stroke the dog. "I-if you're healthy again, if you get well..." he whispered, as if he was reciting a prayer. He completely lost track of time.

Soon he was jolted out of his trance by the sound of bell ringing. It was a signal for the performers to gather, the show was starting. The dog gave one last lick to Red's hand then ran off to join its master.

Red remained kneeling on the ground as he watched it run. His right hand gently took its twin, holding it tenderly. If it's possible he wanted to touch it more.


The sky was clear of clouds today, so Red was given the task of washing the sheets. Strangely he didn't see the dog today at all. However he did see the owner from where he was working. He was a strange one. He crouched next to the ground unmoving. Red found him strange, it was as if he was a puppet whose strings were cut. 'What is he doing?'

Curiously he approached the clown.

He almost stopped breathing. In front of the man was a hole - with the dog inside it.

"Is it dead?" he asked, completely disregarding the fact that the man might snarl at him or hit him. His only concern was the dog.

The man stared at him with a rather shocked expression. The white make-up gave a sharp contrast to the golden eyes.

Wait golden? The Innocence questioned, humans didn't posses golden eyes, and what in the world was this feelin- O, hell no. Connecting to its Wielder's nerves it hastily it stimulated the senses of danger. Get away from him! It cried, but the grief of his poor heart droned it out.

The dog he played with, the dog that cared for him, that licked his ugly, deformation, the one who has forgiven him after he had done something horrible to it-

"He's dead." You will be too if you don't run NOW!

"He's covered in bruises." True, it had ones that would make anyone wince.

The clown turned his gaze back to his small ex-companion and covered him with soil. He formed a dome of earth and placed its favourite ball with star patterns on top of it. There was only one possibility - Cosimo. The burning anger he fought so hard to force behind the walls of indifference lashed out. Forget about that good-for-nothing and PLEASE run! You'll be killed! "It was definitely done by Cosimo, because you're more popular than he is. As long as someone is better than him, he won't let go. His performing skills are bad, this is actually the only thing he's good at."

Compared to the agitated Red, the clown replied blandly. "He was an old dog. Forget it."

Forget it.

Don't forget. Don't forgive.

He shook his head, this wasn't the time to think of them. Even so, he couldn't calm down. "Then you're not taking revenge?"

"If I did that, I'd be chased out by the Ringmaster, which means that whatever I did before would all be in vain." He replied as he put his palms together in a mute prayer.

Your sacrifices will be in vain if you remain a second longer!

Red clicked hi tongue in annoyance. What was with this guy? His partner has been murdered! How can he stay so calm?!

"I'm an outsider anyway, I'll be leaving for another place after Christmas tomorrow."

"...I see." Behind his emotionless words his inner world is in turmoil. He had long learned how to keep his face straight when he was angry. He regretted admiring the man as he performed with the dog. A man who didn't even shed a tear, it was too much. So he was this kind of person.

A very dangerous kind of person who'll slaughter you in the minute he notices me! No matter how much it poked the fear-centre, the boy did not bulge. But he had to get away from this man, who wasn't human!

He looked back at Red. "Then again who are you?"

"I'm the one doing odd jobs here. I'm the one who bought you meal before." Red replied plopping down next to him. What are you doing?! You're supposed to run away, not idly chat with a monster!

"I'm not good at remembering faces. And now that I look closely I see that you're covered in bruises too." He raised a pale finger to his mouth, licked it and rubbed it on a greenish-yellow spot on Red's cheek. No! Don't wipe your stupid Noah genes on him!

Finally Red agreed on something. He raised his left to his face to wipe away the saliva, not even noticing how natural it felt to move that normally immobile arm. "Wah! That's gross you idiot!"

The clown's eye stopped on the green Cross.

It tensed up as it sensed the clown's gaze on it. If it had breathed, its breath would have been caught in his throat. They ran out of luck, this time its Little Master will surely be killed. They stand no chance against a Noah.

It cried. Frustration, hopelessness, sadness and despair coursed through the Divine Substance.

It should have waited. It shouldn't have attached itself to a mere infant. It should have waited until the boy was old enough to understand it. Maybe this way he could have had a somewhat normal life, living with his family as he was supposed to.

But it was hasty and impatient and made a huge mistake. By joining him so early it meant to protect the child from all harm, but in the end it was the Innocence itself, the one who treasured the boy the most, who hurt him the most. It was so cruel. Maybe finally it could show some mercy by taking the boy's life quickly and enclosing inside the Cube, so he wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

However to its greatest surprise the clown started smiling. It lacked malice, but it was still taunting. "It's antiseptic." He explained. "You're covered in bruises too. Were you beaten up by Cosimo too?"

"Shut up!" Red snapped back at him. Its master was feisty as ever, even in front of a lethal enemy. It seems Red would fall fighting in another way than the Innocence imagined. The thought made its heart clench.

"Do you have friends?" Is this some kind of perverted, sadistic Noah mind-game?

"SHUT UP!" he turned away glaring at his feet. "...When I grow up, I'm getting out of this place as soon as I'm strong enough, so I don't need any friends." He remembered humans who he tried to be friends with. He remembered trying to please his parents. But in the end they all left him. He didn't need something like that.

"What are you doing?" he asked irate as the clown squeezed his own cheeks. He doesn't mean harm?

"You didn't think it was funny?"

"Sorry, but I don't like clowns. In fact I hate 'em."

"My, my" the man turned his head away humphing in mock hurt. "I dislike audience and children who don't laugh." Red reciprocated the humph.

"...Aren't you going to cry?" Red asked in a soft voice as he watched the pile of earth. "He lived with you for a long time didn't he? Aren't you sad?" he glanced back where the clown was... only to find that he was gone. As he turned he saw the man used a rope to hang himself from a tree. "So sad I could die."

"QUIT IT!" Something about this guy doesn't felt right. Yes, yes, finally! Now get up and disappear from his sight!

"But I can't cry." The man replied as he unhooked himself. "Maybe my tears have dried up. They just won't come."

Now this person was hard to understand. "What's up with that?"

The clown was silent.

"What was his name?" he asked. "He licked my hand yesterday." The dog licked him happily, the dog who did not care about his ugly hand at all. "It felt warm." His body was shaking by now. "So today I also..." He wanted to pet it again. "Even if it lasted so short why am I crying over it?" He couldn't hold it anymore, he broke down crying the first time in years.

A small sad smile pulled on the clown's lips. "I see." He breathed softly. "You were Allen's friend too."

Allen. So that was his name. He never called it on his name before. Even though he knew the pain of being nameless. He wanted to call out his name.

He cried until he was exhausted and eventually fell asleep. The Cube let the boy fall asleep, but itself was alert for any move the clown did. But he didn't. He just sat there like a broken doll.

It made the Innocence wonder just what happened to this person.

Crappy ending but I needed a non-cliffhanger one. And it's you liked it or not please don't hesitate to give me feedback. Feedback, favorite, follow me please~