Hello!!!!!!! I'm not gonna do much talking because Emmett here is ignoring me like a big baby…..

Emmett: …..

Well umm…….I guess disclaimer I don't own Twilight or the characters but I own the dogs!!!!!!!!!!

EmPOV

I run into the room just to see Food humping Yummy. Wow I'm watching doggy porn. "GO FOOD! GET YOUR PLEASURES!" I yell out to the dog. I felt three slaps behind my head. "EMMETT!" the women shriek at me. Why did they just hit me? I look back at the dogs going at it. I want to see Food get a good fuck.

"Emmett, the dogs can't even do that because they are too young or the puppies they make will come out deformed." (A/N: Puppies don't hump each other till they are of age which is 8 months I think or when the female gets in heat. So beware I kind of made it up.) Really? That sad…..Now Food can't go fucking other female doggies in the neighborhood. Edward just shook his head.

Jacob walks in saying "What's with all the commotion? Whoa……What the hell are they doing?" "Humping. What else?" I replied. "I know that Emmett……It wasn't a question to be answered, Dumbass," he said. Hmmmmmmmm……….I wonder if that's what it looks like when Jacob is having sex with Nessie. Edward growled. What? I'm just thinking. "Your thoughts, I don't wish to see that of my daughter, Dumbass," Edward growled again. Geez, did he not get his daily sex or something? He growled again.

"What was he thinking about?" Jacob asked. "Nothing," he muttered, "He is just being a dumbass." "Hey……Why am I being called dumbass?" I asked. "That's cause you are one," Jake said. "Hey…..That's not nice" "Dumbass," the women mutter. EVEN MY OWN ROSIE CALLED ME A DUMBASS! I feel the hurt.

"Dumbass, dumbass, dumbass, and you are a dumbass to the power of one trillion." Jake mocked. "Hey….." I said. "Hey is for horses, dumbass." Jake said again.

There was barking and growling. Yummy was the one barking and growling. She looked mad. Ooooh…..What did Food do? Food had his tail underneath as if he got in trouble. He ran and hide behind me. Now Yummy was snarling. She bared her teeth showing viciousness. Okay so Food probably pissed her off.

"No shit, Sherlock," Edward muttered.

Wait, I'm Sherlock?! Edward just shook his head again. "It's a phrase, dumbass." He said.

Oh right….I knew that.

"Really Emmett?" he said in a bored tone

No…..actually and sadly. FINE I WILL ADMIT IT I'M DUMB AND A DUMBASS! Now he was laughing at me. Well you know what……you're……you're……uhhhhhhhh MEANIE BUTT! "Meanie butt, really Emmett?"

Yes, meanie butt. It was all I could come up with. All there is in my brain is spiders and cobwebs. Now I'm picturing spiders and cobwebs in my head….

See. My head is just empty and I didn't have a good comeback. No wait, I do. Jackass rolling your own shit. SEE WHAT NOW!

He just shook his at me again. Is he ever getting dizzy with that head shaking? Now, he is pinching the bridge of his nose.

I look around me and I see everyone left even the dogs did. Well hmmmm…..I'm gonna go find Rosie to see if we can go have a nice enjoyable fuck.

I ran downstairs to Rosie alone in a hall. I grab her and start to kiss her neck. "Emmett……" She moaned and that's all I needed.

RenPOV

I was watching the puppies interact with each other because Jake is patrolling. So far, Food has been trying to be apologetic to Yummy. He tried crawling to her and have puppy eyes look but she would just snarl at him. Poor Food.

I get up to the doggy treats cabinet and pull out the pig ears. I grab two pig ears. Then for some odd reason the hand with pig ears felt empty. I look and see Food with the two pigs ears in his mouth. "Hey…." I said. I follow Food to see him crawl up to Yummy and drop the pig ears in front of her. Awwww…..That is so cute. Yummy looks at the pig ears and grabs the bigger one and Food takes the smaller. He seems happy. I can tell the dog is wagging his tail. Just like how Jake wags his tail when he is happy….Funny sight too.

I look back at the dogs and they are now playing. I smile. I hear footsteps. Jake. "Hey babe." He says. "Hey Jake," I reply while he hugs me and kisses my forehead. "Do you want to watch the dogs with me?" I ask. "Sure," he smiles at me. We sit down and watch the dogs. Laughing at them.

TADA THERE YOU GO AS PROMISED!!!!!!!! Hoped you like it. I was on a bit of writers block just a tad. I have a few authors y'all might like:

Yay4shanghai (she is awsum)

Liljenrocks (one of the stories along with sequel follow Yay4shanghai's universe)

Rob-on-a-stick (I think that is how you spell it)

Crazy Soda Girl (she is writing an awesome story right now and she is also one of my best friends)

DREWHHR (she is a harry potter author but great)

I'm trying to get a pic of the dogs. They will be on my profile soon. So I have nothing left to say since Emmett is still ignore me…..Though he is rather pissed about the dumbass thing continuation. That reminds me if any of you can count how many times dumbass was type I will give a sneak peak on the plot.

Bye!

Way