DISCLAIMER: Don't own Jericho or any of its characters. Pity…
AUTHORS NOTE: Tell me if I was long winded on this one. I keep wanting to add more stuff as I write. Also, I brought back more words of wisdom from the dearly departed. (I love that) Once again, this IS my therapy for the effects of the series finale. Beware, this is un-Beta read. I will continue with this story, at least till I've come to a resolution with the Heather/Jake relationship. Hope you guys like it and I hope to hear from ya.
QUESTION: What song lyric's best fit some of the main characters? (I got Jake) So how about Gail, Johnston, Eric, Mary, Mimi, Stanley, Bonnie and her "Vibe" guy, etc. I need to pick just a couple for a future chapter. Think women at a bachelorette party at Bailey's.
WARNING: Some language.
Chapter Seven: Ghosts
by Ann Pendragon
"Yeah, that went well." Jake could taste his own sarcasm, it was that thick.
Jericho's Sheriff stepped from the front doors of town hall, aside from Gray and his brother, probably the last to leave. In Jake's opinion, Eric and Gray still had 'homework' to finish before the next town meeting.
All had gone well at first. After seeing that his mother and Heather had a seat, he practiced some of what his brother called "civil servant etiquette" with those arriving for the meeting. Jake just called it "saying hi." Jake Green wasn't about to start kissing babies.
Soon, most in the room settled into their seats or found a place to stand and Jake made his way to a corner of the room to watch the crowd. Most town meetings started with Jake standing at some unobtrusive vantage point just far enough into the crowd to be apart of it, but by the end of the meeting Jake always found himself at the front of the hall.
The pledge of allegiance was still given, might be a changed flag but the pledge itself still held its weight in the hearts of Jericho's citizen's. Then following there was a small prayer given by a representative of one of the three churches in Jericho, each church was to take a turn every three weeks.
Gray started off with crop reports from each of the towns larger farms and then went on to cover planting assignments of future crop sites in town. That actually went relatively well; many of Jericho were already ahead of the game and had dug up their ornamental shrubs for corn and potatoes. However, Widow Simons did give argument when her property was one of those on the list. She insisted that her four acres at the edge of town was only suited to grow her prize winning roses. In the end, Mrs. Simons agreed to a visit with Gail and Eric tomorrow over tea.
Then there was the latest news from the Military regarding the state of the country and news from abroad. Texas still had its hold outs but was slowly succumbing to Military forces, New York was still in a state of controlled chaos and the refugee camps still under government supervision were being emptied into surrounding towns and cities.
Jake noticed the side ways looks and whispers from a few of the old timers in the crowd. Although Rogers's refugees had now been obsorbed into the population for the most part, many looked back on that time with disdain. Jericho was going to be more prepared this fall, but winter was still going to be tough, passable but tough. Accepting more mouths to feed that weren't born here was going to be a hard pill for Jericho to swallow if forced to do it again.
Now, this is where the town meeting got surreal. After finishing up the news, Gray opened the floor to open discussion and then after a few varied issues were covered, Dan Rupp stood to address dealings with Gracie's Market. Half way through his list of complaints a loud shrill giggle let out across the room. Jake along with Dan had focused in on Carl Mackey doing the giggling. Under their scrutiny Carl fell silent and the meeting continued.
Everyone knew Carl had issues, they had just been to busy surviving to see how much crazier he had become. Jimmy had already made it towards Carl before Jake could nod his head. Carl seemed to notice and sunk down into his spot in the crowd.
Mr. Rupp continued after the interruption to bring up the topic of Jericho's lacking legal system. Jake knew for a fact Gray was not ready for that discussion. Eric was still working on some sort of court structure and Grey was showing indecision on anything the government didn't give say so to. Basically, Gray was once again dragging his feet.
So by all rights, Carl did Gray and his brother a favor this evening when he started laughing again, only now he was yelling "government conspiracy" and "ghosts" in-between the giggles.
Jimmy tried to steer him towards the door, but Carl gave him the slip around two other townsfolk and headed strait for Jake, who by now made it close to Gray and Eric's side.
"Their gonna come and take our minds Jake. They already boom, boom, boomed us to scurry us like rats. Next it's our brains. Keep them government ghosts out the brain, keep em away."
Carl was now latched around Jakes knees and half the hall was on their feet and yelling. Jake saw the honest fear in Carl's wide eyes when Jimmy and Bill pulled him away and could not help the sense of foreboding it brought.
"Jimmy." Jake motioned the deputy to his side and spoke low. "Get Carl to the clinic with Bill. I don't know what they can do for him but I know they still have some tranquilizers from the last supply delivery and padded restraints from before. Carl doesn't need to be in the Jail, at least not yet." Jimmy jumped when Carl gave another yell.
"Jake, protect our brains…"
Momentarily stunned by the moment, Jake came back around to the slamming gavel of Gray and a room full of highly agitated townspeople. From his spot he raised his hands and joined Gray and the other voices at the front in calling order. The room grudgingly quieted then and the meeting was officially ended for the night.
"Never a dull moment, Honey." Gail came up to her boys and touched their arms.
"Never a dull moment, Mom." Gail leaned close to Jake's ear.
"These are the moments your granddad lived for." Meaning, not ones his rational father enjoyed. She smiled and walked away to meet with her ride.
Jake looked around the room and didn't see Heather.
"She's with Moe looking at the windmills out back." Stanley walked up to his friend, Mimi and Bonnie had already left the building. Jake just nodded. Sometimes it bugged him when his friend read his mind.
"Oh, and Jake…"
"Yeah?"
"Protect my brain Jakey. Oooooh!" Stan doled out one of his goof ball grins and elbowed Jake on the way out.
"Lost cause Stanley, it's already been compromised." Jake smiled after his friend and noticed Eric watching, his expression unreadable.
Green men didn't often talk about their feelings, especially with each other. Somehow Jake felt like his brother was pissed at him.
"What is it Eric?"
"Nothing Brother." Jake watched him walk away.
The past couple of weeks Jake had been feeling his brother's eyes on him more and more and still couldn't figure why. He tried talking to him once but he just made some sort of excuse to be somewhere else. Tonight, Jake wasn't even going to try and figure out Eric.
Between being christened 'brain protector' by the town schizo, fearless leader Gray's inaction, doing his best with his new job and protecting Jericho's future, lingering concerns regarding Hawkins Bomb and the Government, unfinished business with New Bern, and his love life; Eric being cranky with him was gonna have to wait.
'Juggling too many balls son and ya can't grow a third arm.'
He heard a familiar voice as he now stepped away from town hall and peered up into the night sky. It seemed he heard them the most when his head, heart and plate were the fullest. Tonight seemed to be his fathers turn.
Just barely a month had passed since his father's death and he missed him so much. If he had known that a year was all he would ever get to really know his dad… Jake shook his head with the too late realization.
His father was wrong; Johnston wasn't solely responsible for pushing Jake away. Jake did what he could back them to be pushed away. He always knew how to try his father's one last nerve. Jake wanted to tell him that, along with the arm length list of other things he had been regretting not telling his dad when he was alive. So standing out amongst the stars, Jake tried to find his own way of telling his father those things that made his heart heavy. He hoped he heard him.
"I just wish I could have told you Dad…"
'You never had to tell me, Jake. You've shown me how you felt about me by the way you live, the way you carry yourself amongst the people of this town.'
Jake lowered his head and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, stemming emotion.
"I'm tired Dad, I'm so tired, this whole year of tired and I can't stop…"
'But you can make the job less. You've always had a problem dealing with your limitations, son. Never could understand how you felt the need to do everything on your own.'
Jake shook his head and thought of the past. Since he could remember he always had so much to live up to. In the end he never felt that he was good enough, even when his cocky smile and brazen actions told the world otherwise. He pretended not to care and decided, in his then adolescent brain, to stop trying to live up to the Green name by not trying at all. If you didn't bother trying, you didn't have to face your limitations. And you didn't have to worry about letting people down, they just expected it.
Acting like he didn't give a damn reached a whole new level when Chris was killed and Jake ran away from Jericho. He knew then, without a doubt, he was a screw-up and he acted accordingly those years that followed. It wasn't till he shot that little girl on the edge of a sandy street in the middle of Iraq, that Jake didn't have to pretend anymore. Not only did Jake honestly stop caring, he stopped caring about himself, he simply shut down inside.
This was the man who came back to Jericho almost a year ago. The same who was saying goodbye to his family and friends before leaving town one last time. He hadn't lied to Heather when he told her he had no intention of ever coming back to Jericho after that day. Without his trust fund he knew he wasn't going to be able to stay under the radar from the government or Ravenwood. In a way he knew he was committing suicide by returning to San Diego. At that point it didn't mater much to him anymore.
But then the bombs…
Jake could look back and pinpoint the exact moment it all changed, when he cared again. It was when Stacey stopped breathing. Every bit of fear and self doubt drenched his spine in that moment. He froze. Stacey had become the little girl lying in blood soaked sand and all he could hear in his head was "not again" repeated over and over. Not again, he wasn't going to let it happen, so he didn't. He saved her life that night and with every breath Stacey took through those straws she saved his. That night Jake Green was given a second chance and he took it.
"Now I care too damn much. I can't let them down, Dad."
'Then let people in Jake, toss a couple balls into someone else's hands. No one will think less of you son. ---There is one person you could start with…'
"Dad…" Jake stepped further into the square, placed his hands to his face and growled in frustration. After this mornings "talk" he knew he was being double teamed.
"I'm arguing with ghosts now."
"I didn't think what Carl had was catchy?" Jake dropped his chin, not bothering to fight the smile she solicited from him. Heather emerged from the shadows and onto the sidewalk.
"Couldn't resist."
Heather fell in step with Jake and watched him when he looked back up to the stars once more. Heather couldn't count how many times she wished the haunted look Jake sometimes carried in his eyes would just disappear. The same look he seemed to be carrying tonight. Jake was a good man and he didn't deserve whatever it was he carried around with him. So when she could, she'd make him smile. Aside from repairs and ideas, it's all he let her do.
"What's going to happen to Carl now?"
"Honestly, I don't know. Most of the population has been dealing with their mental health issues at the bar. I don't think self medication is going to help Carl."
"I suppose not." Heather agreed. "You didn't put him in jail did you?"
"No, not unless we have to. Jimmy and Bill took him to the clinic for now, see what they can do." Jake looked over to her and felt the concern she felt. Heather cared about people and none of the events from this past year had changed that, if anything she found it in herself to care more. It was the good in her that drew him to her those first days.
"Need a lift?" Heather didn't have to answer; Jake had already pulled the strap of her bag off her shoulder. Jake thought he may have seen her wince but was unsure.
"If I said no, would you still take my bag home?" Jake gave another grin as answer.
"You shouldn't pack your bag so full. You carry too much on your shoulder."
"And you should talk." Jake gave her a sideways glance as they made it to his car and noticed a light line of red coming through her white shirt sleeve.
"What happened?"
"What?" She really hoped he hadn't seen.
"This…" Jake pulled at the rolled sleeve and could see the end of a long scratch. Heather pulled from his reach to go to the passenger's side. Jake threw her bag in the back of the car and got in.
"Caught my arm on the closet door in my room. I cleaned it, just should have wrapped it with something." Jake noticed she twitched when she lied.
'She's lying.'
'I'm lying. What do I tell him? Hey Jake, I threw down with your High School sweetheart?'
Jake started the car and it rumbled to life. He looked back over to her and watched her twitch.
"Just be careful at the mines tomorrow. That place is one big rusty nail."
'Good, no more questions.'
"I'll be careful Jake, it's just the mines. It's not like I'm heading off to New Bern. You don't have to worry about me." Heather mentally slapped herself for her choice in words. Jake unconsciously turned his knuckles white on the steering wheel and they both fell into an uncomfortable silence that lasted till the car nosed into the Green driveway.
"Going to work early?" He felt her eyes on him. Took him a moment to answer her.
"I was gonna check on Carl at the clinic and then probably stop at Bailey's, make sure the kids are being good after the town meeting." Jake tried to grin. Emily wanted to talk to him tonight and he was having a hard time looking at Heather while thinking about it.
She nodded her head quietly and reached into the back seat for her bag. In her haste she didn't gage the size of the bag with the size of the space between the seats and sheared off a few of the tools connected to the pockets. She gasped when they fell into Jakes lap.
"Oh God, I am so sorry..."
Heather didn't consider her next actions till her hands had gone back a second time for the fallen tools. Just as realization hit where her hand had been, Jakes hand clamped down upon her wrist and they both became silent and still.
She felt his breath fall erratically across her forehead and when she garnered enough bravery to look up at him she became confused, if not a little afraid. Jakes eyes were shut tight to her and his brows knit in some sort of expression of pain.
'Did I hurt him?'
"Jake?" His hand only tightened on her wrist.
"Jake, your hurting me…" His grip released with lightning speed and his darkened eyes opened wide with apology and embarrassment.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" He pulled back into his seat and turned from her.
"Goodnight Heather."
"Jake?"
"Don't…" His order came out as a plea. Again silence descended on the two.
At this point Heather didn't know how she was supposed to feel…embarrassment, hurt, she defiantly felt confused. So she picked an emotion she had come to grips with earlier in the day----anger.
"Don't what Jake? I'm not the same girl who jumped in your arms in the middle of town square less than a year ago. You have no right to shut down on me now and push me away. If anything at all, we are friends and I care about you…"
"Please, Heather…"
"Don't what Jake…" Her voice trembled but she kept her control. "…care?"
The silence ticked between them once more when he didn't answer.
"Is this where you start avoiding me again, Jake?" Jake swiftly turned to Heather, startling her. His eyes glittered black in the dim light. So much she could see in those eyes, all of it complicated. She realized she couldn't handle complicated right now. Heather turned from him and opened the car door to step out. She stopped when she heard his voice softly drift out to her.
"I avoided you then because I didn't want to hurt you and I still don't." 'I'm not good for you.' "I'm not the man you think I am." 'This man killed a child, Heather, a child.'
A little bit of her anger slipped away and was replaced by hurt.
"No Jake, I guess you are not the man I know you to be." She turned back around to meet his eyes. "The man I know isn't a coward."
Heather shut the car door quietly and marched up to the house, leaving Jake feeling like he had been hit by a ball bat in the gut.
'She told him.'
'Give him a break, Dad.'
"God, I need a drink." Jake revved the engine and headed towards Bailey's.
'Now were talking.'
'Dad…'
…………………………………………………
Baileys was crowded and the music blared as Jake pushed his way through the throng of neighbors and friends. He was starting to regret coming in. Baileys wasn't proving to be the distraction Jake needed, just loud. Jake raised his hand to Mary and was soon rewarded with a drink.
"Is Eric still at the Hall?"
"Yeah, Mary. Your boy had to stay after class." Mary gave him a questioning look and Jake understood how flip that must have sounded. He wasn't angry with Mary.
"He should be over soon. Just has to finish up with Gray." Jake gave his brother's girl a warm grin and touched her hand on the bar before she went to her next customer.
Jake looked down into his drink and wished he could drown in it, but knew he had to work. He tried to gear his head back to the laundry list of things he needed to do tonight and tomorrow, but could not change gears. Or was it his heart that wouldn't cooperate?
'I'm batting a thousand today.'
"Buy ya a drink?" He hadn't realized his first was gone.
"Na, free coffee and alcohol comes with the star." He knew she would find him.
"Emily…"
"I think we need to talk Jake." He looked her over and couldn't put a read on her just yet. That unsettled him. The night was just getting better and better.
Jake let Emily grab his hand and pull him through the crowd to the outside of Baileys and then they found a spot by an old oak.
"What's up Em?" He watched her stiffen and then pull at the silk scarf around her neck. He somehow felt he'd already said the wrong thing. By the pointed look in her eyes he knew he did.
"What's up? Its more like where have you been? I thought you were giving us another chance Jake, but every time I turn around you're canceling on dinner or trying to be Super Jake and cant be found." By now her arms sat across her chest and all her attention was on Jake.
"Em, I have a job to do…"
"I understand that Jake, I really do. But I also understand your need to apologize to me and this town for the stupid things you had done in the past. I've got news for you Jake, you've done it. Now take some time for yourself, for us."
Emily gaped at him when he did not speak, she had expected him to at least look at her but now he was turned from her and looking back inside the bar.
How could she not see him? Emily had always seemed to understand him when they were dating. 'But this is who I really am now, she doesn't see that.'
"Do you think that's what all this means to me now, Emily. This is bigger than me or my guilt or my need to make amends. I can't stop doing my part in keeping this town safe and running. It's my job and it means that much to me." Later, he'd look back and realize it was the first time he acknowledged that fact.
"Loving your job is one thing…" Emily's voice was now raised. "…but it doesn't have to be your life." Jake grabbed her arm and brought her closer to him in hopes of quieting her.
"Emily, this town is my life. I can never be that same selfish person I was when I left you, I wouldn't want to be. And if some part of you is hoping to see that man again, he's gone." Emily stopped struggling in his grasp and glared.
"Then I guess this past month I've been chasing ghosts."
Jake pulled from her now, noticing some of the bar had taken to watching their actions outside.
"I never wanted to hurt you, Em." He said low.
"Yeah, but you just keep doing it." Jake placed his hand across the back of his neck trying to steady his temper.
"Not anymore."
Emily felt shut down. She could only look at him in disbelief.
"So this is really it, Jake?" She was regaining her steam. "After all we've been through together it ends outside of Bailey's?"
"Damn it Emily, it ends now like this before it gets too dirty for either of us to clean up. I do care about you Emily and I don't want to loose you as a …"
"Friend?" Emily scoffed. "You already have a 'girl---friend' Jake. The little grease monkey with the school girl crush on the town hero."
Jakes eyes no longer held any apology or pliancy when he leveled them at Emily's now petulant glare. The night around them felt a great deal colder. He refused to give her cruel intentions anymore fodder.
"This is over, Emily."
"Do you love her?" He hadn't expected the question.
"Do you love her?" She demanded. Jake placed his hand to his mouth and looked away so she couldn't see his eyes.
"God, that bad?" Jake looked up in time to see the hurt on Emily's face.
"Emily…" Jake reached a hand to her shoulder but she turned from him. His hand ended up brushing away the silk scarf from around her neck, revealing a strangely familiar set of red streaks.
"What's this?" Emily's eyes now seemed to glow like a furnace while she placed the scarf back over her "cat scratch".
"Why don't you go ask your 'friend'." She growled and then was gone.
He listened to her boots hit the pavement till she got in her car and pulled out onto the street. Now only the sounds of the bar and the wind could be heard. Suddenly a switch went on in Jake's head…
"I'll be damned!"
TBC.
