Scott & Bailey.
Fa-arsed bit.
Guests.
Emma is Six in this story.
"Janet, why have you brought in that suitcase? You're not planning to leave us are you?" Gill asked jokingly when Janet came into the office early one morning. Janet glowered at her, and Gill realised her friend was harried. Her hair looked uncombed, her clothes looked rumpled, and uncared for which was very different from the smart, professional woman Gill was used to seeing on a day to day basis.
"No," she snapped slamming her suitcase down. "Our bathroom's flooded and now I've got to wait for it all to dry out to get the whole place repaired. It's going to cost a fortune!" She clapped a weary, frustrated hand to her brow and she panted with the emotions churning away in her.
Gill winced at the shrillness in Janet's voice. "How did that happen?"
Janet pursed her lips. "Fuck knows," she muttered in an attempt to calm herself down. "Now I've got to find somewhere for us to stay round." Janet looked hopefully at Gill. Her boss saw the look and recognised it, she silently went back to her office and brought out a suitcase of her own.
"Oh my god," Janet said in horror. "What happened?"
"Central heating's packed in," Gill replied. "I called Julie last night when it became like the Arctic in my bedroom, and guess what, she's got problems of her own. She wanted to stay round my place, but unless she wanted to wrap up warm she'd have to find somewhere else. Where do you think you can stay?" And me, Gill thought to herself.
Janet shrugged. "God knows."
As if on cue, Rachel came into the office. "Morning boss, Janet. You two going on holiday or something?" She asked when she noticed their suitcases.
Gill and Janet glanced at one another, the same thought going through their minds.
"Auntie Janet, Auntie Gill, and Auntie Julie are staying here?" Emma asked her mother for the fifth time running as Rachel finished putting the dinner on, the little girl was bouncing up and down on her heels in excitement, her long brown hair bouncing and falling to her shoulders in its ponytail, as she watched her mother cook. It had, thankfully been a lull today at work, so Rachel was able to pick Emma up. Unfortunately she'd had to go around with her daughter to pick up bits and pieces to make the flat habitable for six other people.
It wasn't easy for Rachel, or Emma, who'd helped her mother sort out where the others were staying. The flat wasn't as large as the three houses her friends owned were, space would be at a premium when the others came round. Rachel was giving up her own bedroom for Dorothy, and though she would never give up Emma's room, she'd compromised with herself to let Taisie and Elise sleep in it. Roommates. They'd just finished putting in two camper beds in the bedroom and put on the bedclothes.
For the living room, Rachel had decided to use hammocks instead of camper beds for herself, Janet, Gill and Julie. She hoped they didn't complain about the hammocks since she was putting them up. But the flat wasn't too big for camper beds in the living room. Where would the coffee table go?
It would make the room a bit of a mess, but they managed it. Rachel knew, just knew that Dorothy would take issue with it, but she truly didn't care.
Actually, now Rachel thought about it, this would be the first time Dorothy had ever come round to her flat. Whether the woman kept her mouth closed was an open question. Insults on herself she could take, but if Dorothy said one word, one thing to Emma-
Rachel shook her head. She wouldn't get into angry thoughts now, not with Emma looking so expectantly at her. "That's right," she nodded at the girl, and she placed a small plate with fruit on it and pushed it towards Emma. The little girl sometimes tried to extend an arm over the cooker when she was working, and Rachel had started giving her bits of fruit, not enough to spoil her appetite, but enough to keep her from getting burnt.
Emma grinned and she munched on a piece of apple. "Good!"
"Dorothy and the girls are staying too," Rachel added, taking close note of her daughter's reaction to the news. Emma's face scrunched at the thought of Dorothy staying. She remembered only too well the last time she'd seen the look of disdain directed at her, though her mother almost went berserk.
But the thought of Dorothy's impending stay was pushed away, knowing her favorite cousins were coming round.
Rachel shook her head affectionately when she saw her daughter push the thought of Dorothy staying round in favor of Elise and Taisie. "That reminds me," she glanced over at Emma with a smile. "If you have a nightmare, come into the living room. I doubt Dorothy would appreciate you clambering over her by accident in the dead of night."
"Eww, mummy," Emma replied in disgust.
Rachel laughed and she tickled her daughter, loving the sound of her laughter, and there was a knock on the door. "Sounds like they're here," she said unnecessarily.
Julie had initially liked Dorothy since she was Janet's mother, but two minutes of listening to her badmouth a woman and child who were letting them stay round at her place made her rethink what she thought of the woman. You'd think she'd be grateful, but no such luck.
Two years after that little blunder in Gill's office where Emma had accidentally opened her mouth resulting in Rachel losing her rag with her and Gill had seen Julie's relationship grow suddenly with Emma and Rachel. She'd found that Emma was a frequent visitor to her Auntie Gill's.
Julie was pissed off enough as it was without needing to listen to this stupid old cow go off on a woman who'd done nothing as far she could tell to make Janet's mother dislike her so much. Julie was pissed off because she'd been forced to leave her home for a while whilst, of all things, the sewer lines to her neighborhood were repaired, but she was grateful she was being put up for a few days. She would've expected Dorothy to be grateful, Julie certainly was, and Janet, the girls and Gill were definitely grateful. So why the hell couldn't Dorothy, and what was this grudge she had for Rachel? Granted, Rachel could be difficult, overprotective of the people she loved, but those were some of her more defining features.
Julie was sure Dorothy didn't like her either, but unlike Rachel she didn't have to endure it. She was a Detective Superintendent, and she was higher on the food chain. A glance at Elise and Taisie, Janet's daughters, and Gill and Janet themselves told Julie Dorothy's rants about Emma and Rachel were making the older woman really unpopular.
Janet was as frustrated as Julie was, and Julie once more admired the enviable patience the DC possessed in abundance, however there were limits to how patient someone can be.
"I don't see why we have to come here," Dorothy was saying, her last heard spat in disgust as she eyed the place Rachel and Emma lived. Julie cast a good look at the property. It was actually a nice enough place, it was easy to access and it didn't look too uncomfortable to Julie's trained eyes.
"Mum, I've told you already," Janet's level voice with an underlay of anger beneath a facade of...calmness, "Rachel is giving up some of her flat for us whilst the work's been done at our homes, you can at least be grateful. Oh," Janet added, stopping herself and her mother, and everyone else in their tracks. "If you say one word to Emma-
"I know," Dorothy interrupted with an eye roll.
"Oh good, so you know Rachel has my permission to kill you. Don't look so surprised mum, Rachel knows you hate her daughter, and she is giving some of the flat for us to stay in. The least we can do is be grateful to her for that, and NOT make a snide remark to her daughter."
Dorothy's hurrumphed, but she tilted her head in agreement. "Maybe, but we could've gone to a hotel or something."
Julie sighed and tried to put the petty bickering out of her mind as they all went up to the door. Taisie was the nearest, and she knocked. They only needed a moment to wait when they heard from the other side the footfalls of a child. It wasn't surprising when they heard a little girl's voice from the other side of the door.
"Coming," Emma called unnecessarily. When the door opened, Emma bounced out. Since Taisie was still the closest to the door, she was the first one Emma hugged. "Taisie!" Emma squealed, throwing herself at the taller girl.
Taisie gasped when she was hugged, but she returned the hug enthusiastically. Rachel appeared in the doorway, keeping an eye on her daughter. Overprotective. Well, that was to be expected; whenever Dorothy was around, the older woman found it hard to keep her mouth shut.
Emma let go of Taisie when she saw Janet, Gill, Elise and Julie.
Dorothy watched with a bit of disdain and a very healthy dose of jealousy, though she didn't know why she would be jealous since she didn't really like the girl, as Emma launched herself at the others like she hadn't seen them for years, but well since the little girl hadn't seen Janet in a fortnight, Elise and Taisie in a month, and Julie for three weeks it wasn't surprising she was so enthusiastic about them being here.
She stood like that watching as Emma hugged the life from her aunties and 'cousins' until finally Rachel felt they'd be out here until morning. "Time to come back inside, sweetheart. There'll be plenty of time to hug and kiss later, now come on."
Emma let go of Gill sadly with a pout, but she quickly brightened and followed her mother back into their flat. Elise and Taisie picked up their gear, and they followed the Baileys. Gill, Julie and Janet shrugged, and picked their own gear and followed.
Not wanting to be left behind and seeing she had little choice, Dorothy took her stuff and walked inside. She wanted to cross herself and beg His divine presence on the threshold for protection, but her hands were full.
Strange, Gill thought. The flat hadn't seen much work for their stay, but she guessed Rachel had something in mind. Her foreboding was shared by the other two adults, Dorothy didn't count since she'd been feeling a sense of foreboding since she'd heard she was staying round Rachel's place.
Rachel led them into the hall, turning with a welcoming smile, though it was tinged with weariness. "Take off your coats, and I'll show you where you're sleeping."
"Dorothy you're sleeping in my bedroom," Rachel said as they entered Rachel's room, and she cut the old woman off when she started to say something. "Don't worry, I've changed the bed and I've cleared everything out." Rachel took Dorothy's stuff, and dropped it onto the bed, and she left the bedroom uncaring if Dorothy followed or not. She took them into Emma's bedroom. Elise and Taisie loved Emma's room, the time Rachel had spent decorating it when her daughter was staying at Alison's as she did it.
The ceiling was spectacular. It was a mural design of planets, a sun, colorful clouds of bright color, and dots of golden white. Emma's bedroom was like an aladdin's cave of color with cabinets and bookshelves full of books about her favorite subjects, and the starscape on the ceiling was the crown jewel. Emma, having grown up with the starscape, had developed a love of astronomy. She was the proud owner of a telescope, and sometimes when her mother was around and not tired from a long day 'fighting crime in Gotham city' they would go somewhere quiet and look up at the stars.
Just the two of them.
Emma wasn't just interested in astronomy; she loved archaeology, and she grew flowers in her bedroom. She was also a prolific artist, some of her work was dotted about the flat, and though she was disdainful of the Baileys, even Dorothy had to admire the little girl's artistic skills.
Rachel, like all good parents, wanted the best for their children, but sometimes they would push their kids to where they wanted to go. Rachel, not being in that kind of situation, would never do that to Emma.
If Emma wanted to be an archaeologist, she would support her. If she wanted to be an astronomer she would definitely support her.
Dorothy, Gill and Julie, who hadn't seen the ceiling, all looked up at it with wonder. It was so beautiful. Janet meanwhile was grinning at the sight of it. She'd seen it many times before, helped here and there but it was all Rachel's work, and it made her envious. Even she and Adrian, who'd waited for their first child in anticipation, hadn't gone this far.
For Julie, the fact Rachel had gone to so much trouble to decorate her daughters bedroom...She tried to imagine the amount of time it had taken her, just to paint the ceiling properly like that, and she could easily picture Rachel craning her neck till it ached as she painted the ceiling. It said lots about the DC's love for her daughter.
Gill herself had heard about the ceiling, but hearing about something and actually seeing it were two totally different things. She could remember the number of times, the number of missed chances to actually see it for herself. It was beautiful. Like Janet, though she didn't know it, Gill felt envious; she remembered making sure everything was ready for Sammy when he'd been a baby, but Rachel took that to new heights.
Elise and Taisie soon took notice of the two camper beds. They glanced at Rachel. "You're sharing this room with Emma, if that's okay with you," she replied to their questioning stares.
Elise and Taisie hugged Rachel, as far as they were concerned there was nothing wrong with the accommodations.
Emma was clapping her hands. "We're gonna have lots of fun," she cheered.
Julie smiled at the little girl's excitement. Unfortunately her excitement disappeared when they went back into the living room. Aside from Dorothy, all the adults plus Rachel didn't have any place to sleep. Julie's feelings took a downturn when Rachel unveiled-
"Hammocks," Rachel said with a smile as she and Emma went out and set up the new hammocks. There were four of them.
"Hammocks?" Janet asked, her tone making it clear this wasn't a welcome development.
"Hey, I've got limited space in here, and I had to set up camper beds in Emma's room. Plus Dorothy's sleeping in my room, and I figured she might want some privacy." Rachel defended herself. "The only space left is in the living room."
Gill, Janet and Julie looked at each other, and accepted she was right.
Dinner was okay. Rachel had cooked a lovely cottage pie, adding mash, veg and gravy, but whilst the food (eaten carefully by Dorothy in case Rachel had decided to poison her) was excellent - a sign of how perfect Rachel wanted her life for her daughter to be - the conversation was slightly taken by Emma.
The little girl was used to members of her family - Auntie Alison, Uncle Tony and their kids - and her time with the Scotts and Murrays, but they were completely separate. This was something Emma wanted to cherish for the rest of her life. For the others at the table, Emma's childlike charm and enthusiasm was intoxicating with the obvious exception of Dorothy, who knew if she opened her mouth to tell the little girl to shut up then everyone would gang up on her at the table, and that wasn't what she wanted.
Meanwhile Rachel was busy enjoying her dinner, that she also couldn't wipe the smile off her face at Emma's enthusiasm. She also kept her eyes on the others round the table. Janet and the girls were like her, smiling at Emma or eating their meals though Taisie and Elise chatted with Emma, the same with Godzilla and Julie.
But it was Dorothy Rachel was busy scrutinizing. Janet's mother still believed Emma's cheerfulness was an act, something Rachel couldn't really comprehend. The woman had seen the effort Rachel had put in to make her daughter feel happy in her bedroom, so why continue with the hate mongering campaign, or was she really that sad?
Finally, Rachel finished her dinner. Halfway through the meal, Emma had stopped talking and had concentrated on eating, but she still participated in the light conversations at the table.
"Right," Rachel said at last when everyone was finished. "I'll do the washing up, so do you lot wanna go to the living room and pop the telly on?"
That suited everyone just fine, but Emma asked, "Do you want me to help you wash up, mummy?"
Rachel smiled at her daughter. "That would be lovely, sweetheart. Do you want to help by doing the drying?"
Julie blinked at their interaction, and Janet saw her look. "I remember days when the girls used to offer to help me," she leaned over to whisper into her friend's ear. "One of the loveliest things a mother can get."
Julie turned to Janet with a smile. All this talk of babies and children...it was making her broody.
As the Bailey girls sorted the kitchen out, Janet sat with everybody else in the living room. Dorothy was just sitting in the armchair when she felt something hard against her thigh, and when she pulled it out she saw it was a photo album.
Gill and Julie joined the others, though Julie stood over the chair Dorothy was in as the old woman gave into her curiosity, and took a peep at the album. It was full of pictures of the Bailey family. Julie had known Rachel long enough to be familiar with Alison, there were pictures of her when she was younger. One of the pictures showed a younger and grinning Rachel standing next to Alison, and a boy a few years younger with Rachel's hair and eyes, but not her intelligence, standing in between the pair of them.
Julie frowned, guessing this boy was Rachel's brother, but she'd never heard of him despite knowing about Alison. Dorothy flicked through the album, seeing the pictures of Rachel and Alison and the boy change; Julie had noticed there was a woman the spitting image of Rachel, their mother probably, had vanished. Made sense, Julie was aware Sharon Bailey had left the family when Rachel was 12.
Their mother leaving them certainly had an effect; with her in the picture the kids were happy. Without her it was like they were broadcasting rain; Rachel's face became harder as she matured, and Alison's face soon showed lines of stress.
Very unlike the cheerful, cherubic faces of before. Dom's face was unchanged, didn't the kid have any other expression?
Julie bit her lip. How could anyone leave their family like that? Children should never look like that, and Julie felt chilled at the thought of her honorary niece being abandoned by Rachel. Suddenly a thought occurred to her; did Dorothy know about Sharon and what she'd done? If she did, could she really think Rachel would abandon her daughter and foist her off on others? Was that the reason she hated Rachel to the extent of claiming Emma was being abused?
A surprising picture appeared; Rachel as a teenager, obviously pregnant but appearing both happy and yet sad or nervous. Julie blinked. She'd never known Rachel had been pregnant before Emma.
Unfortunately neither did Dorothy. "See what I told you," she said loudly, uncaring if Rachel or Emma heard the commotion. "Rachel's a bad parent, look at this. She was pregnant before."
Julie kept her eyes fixed on Gill and Janet. Both of her friends glanced at one another, sadness in their faces and anger directed at Dorothy was obvious. They'd known.
Taisie, who hadn't known, blinked at her mother and Gill when watched for their reactions. "You knew? You've known Emma had a brother or a sister?"
"Not anymore," Gill said quietly.
"Rachel was attacked," Janet turned to Elise who was watching this with wide eyes. "'lise, could you keep an eye out in case Emma and Rachel come back? I don't want them to hear this. Rachel broke down when she told us."
Janet took a moment to gather her thoughts as her eldest daughter took watch silently. "When Rachel's mum left, it was up to Alison to take care of the family, we all know that. She dropped out of school, and later when she was older Rachel got herself a few jobs. We know that too, but we don't know about what happened once. At a party one night, Rachel got knocked up by this guy, who she calls a thug who took advantage of her. Because of their financial issues, Alison and Rachel considered either abortion or adoption. They decided to play it by ear, and Rachel carried the baby. But the boy who'd gotten her pregnant had been suspended so often he missed it until Rachel was pregnant for a while, and when he found out he attacked her."
Gill took over from Janet, gazing with flinty eyes at Dorothy. The DCI was pissed off this woman, who knew nothing about Rachel, and didn't want too, would make assumptions.
"The boy's name was Michael Sandwood. His father was someone big in the council, and the school didn't want to get rid of him, then he'd murdered Rachel's baby, it was too much for the school. His father was with him when he saw Rachel, pregnant, and he thought she'd seen someone else. He must've thought he and Rachel were, well destined to be. Either way, he punched and kicked her, and sent her into a wall."
Taisie clapped a hand to her mouth in horror, closing her eyes and just imagining how painful it must have been for Rachel, emotionally and physically to lose her first child.
Even Dorothy was taken aback by the horrifying story she was here from Janet and Gill, never in her worst nightmares would she ever have imagined Rachel to have gone through something as terrible as that.
Elise glanced round at the kitchen. "Emma's coming."
The little girl bounced into the living room. She blinked when she sensed the tension in the room, and her smile which had been an almost permanent feature on her face the whole evening fell slightly. "Mummy's getting out some chocky ice lollies out the freezer, does anybody want one?"
Emma wasn't the only one who picked up in the tension. Rachel noticed it the moment she sat down on the other side of the room, even as the others sat digging into their magnum lollies and drinking their teas and coffees. The others tried to cover it by making light conversation, but the tension level was so high the Baileys could feel it. Emma and Rachel, depending on which one you meant, were both incredibly sensitive. They felt comfortable in the presence of their friends or family in the moment, but they were also uncomfortable since they sensed it had something to do with them.
Her eye searched every corner of the room for anything out of place. Janet and the girls were sitting on the main couch, Emma was sitting on her Auntie Gill's lap where the woman was braiding her hair. Dorothy was sitting on the armchair, looking a bit guilty and a bit sad. The glances she sent Rachel and Emma's way was telling.
Then she saw it, the family photo album. It was sitting might on top of the left arm of the chair. Rachel knew her daughter sometimes liked to look into it, and look up their family's past, but Rachel had seen for certain the book itself had slipped onto the cushion. The idea Dorothy had glanced on it gave Rachel mixed feelings; on one hand, it might make her see things differently. On the other hand, it might make Dorothy more resistant to the idea of making peace with them. Now, Rachel didn't mind Dorothy seeing for herself the hard life Alison, Dom and her had gone through, but she doubted she would feel sad unless Janet or Gill had said something, and a glance at both women when she'd walked in had revealed they were both pissed off, but they'd done a good job of hiding it when Rachel and her daughter had returned.
Rachel glanced at the woman who was sitting right next to her. Julie had been following her looks around the room, and she too was looking at the album with a bit of sympathy.
"What did you see in the album?" Rachel asked the older policewoman quietly. Julie started at the question, and she stuttered. But Rachel held up a hand, "The album was on the cushion last I checked. Now its on the arm of the chair, and the tension in this room's so thick I can cut it with one of Emma's hairs. What happened?"
Julie sighed. "You as a teenager, pregnant."
Rachel bit her lip. "Ah, so you know." She looked away, but Julie could see the gleam of a tear in those brown eyes.
Julie nodded. "I'm really sorry Rachel, I honestly had no idea you'd been pregnant before."
"Keep your voice down," Rachel hissed, sending a glance over Emma's way. "I don't want Emma to hear this." She glanced over at Emma, but thankfully her daughter was too busy laughing at something Janet was telling her.
"You mean she doesn't know?" Julie frowned.
Rachel bit her lip harder, and Julie feared she'd bite down too hard. "No, I don't plan to tell her until she's older, when she can understand better. I know, she's smart at the moment, but I want to put it off a bit longer. When she first saw that picture, she assumed I was fat at one point. She might lose her temper with me when I do tell her, but I don't like to think about it. I didn't find out about my family's problems with having kids until I was older as well."
Julie didn't need to ask. After Emma had gone back for the ice lollies, Janet and Gill had told them the story about Kevin in brief, and how insensitive the DC had been about Rachel's problems with having kids.
There was little on the television, nothing except a detective drama, ironically enough. For the detectives in the flat, they had a grand time picking apart everything in the dramas they found wrong, or inaccurate.
Emma had gone over to her Auntie Julie during this time, and she also made little contributions to the criticism going on. Everyone aside from Rachel blinked at this, and turned their gazes at the child's mother, who shrugged sheepishly. "What can I say?" she quipped, "She's the daughter of a police officer, and four of her aunties are police officers too, she's bound to have picked up on a few things."
When it was time for bed, Dorothy and the others, who'd never actually seen Rachel dote on her daughter before getting ready for bed, watched as the Bailey girls did everything in stereo. Rachel helped her daughter wash her face, clean and floss their teeth at the same time, and when Emma was ready Taisie and Elise had their turn to use the bathroom.
By the time the teenagers were finished, Rachel was finishing reading a sleepy Emma a bedtime story, and when she was finished the girl was practically asleep. Leaning over quietly, Rachel planted a kiss on her forehead. She stood up, signaling the two older girls not to make a sound.
Dorothy kept in the hallway, watching the scene with the Bailey girls. Part of her mind, the logical and rational mind, warred with the unnamed part of her mind which hated the Baileys, the part that believed Emma was an abused child, seemed to lose some of the argument. Despite the impressions she gave to people whenever she ranted about people she disliked, Dorothy was an educated woman, she'd been a teacher for heaven's sake, and she was a logical person.
If she hadn't been logical, and she'd seen this scene, then Dorothy would've just said or assumed this was an act, that Rachel had either bribed or threatened to hurt Emma despite what image the woman presented to the outside world of how she and her daughter interacted. That would've been proof positive Emma was being abused; oh, bruises were cosmetic and not a problem to someone with makeup, cuts could be hidden by thick clothes, but the abuse would show in the body language. Dorothy had trained herself to look for abuse; shyness, diverted looks, staying as far away from the abusing parents as possible...but Emma was none of that. She wasn't frightened by her mother, and she wasn't trying to beg the others for help.
As Rachel was passing her by, she stopped, "I'd lock your door tonight, Dorothy. Emma likes to come into my bedroom, and snuggle up with me whenever she's had a nightmare."
Dorothy nodded quietly, remembering whenever Janet had had a nightmare when she'd been a small girl, how Janet had found comfort snuggling up in her arms. She was pleased that Emma felt comfortable enough to go to her mother, and not be scared of her.
When everyone was settling in, Janet wriggled about in her hammock, and found that apart from the gentle swaying it was quite comfy. Like Gill, Julie and Rachel, Janet was reading a book. "I think Mum was impressed with you tonight Rach," she said at last.
Rachel looked up from her book, Great Expectations, and frowned at Janet. "What do you mean?" Just from that one sentence Rachel knew there was more to that than what Janet was saying. Rachel had known Janet for a long time, long enough to know she sometimes put double meanings into what she said.
Janet had been wondering how to say this to Rachel without her flying off the handle, and going ballistic. She didn't notice the other two women in their respective hammocks taking notice of this conversation. "Mum's been saying we'll finally have proof of you abusing Emma," she said slowly, stopping when she'd finished saying Emma's name, "She keeps thinking that you keeping her away means your hurting her, but seeing the way she's been tonight, she's rethinking it all."
Rachel was silent as she processed all this, until finally she slowly slid her bookmark back into her book. "I'd love to know where she'd gotten that idea from in the first place. How could she think I'm abusing my daughter?"
Janet spread out her hands. "I don't have a clue, I don't even know where on earth mum got that idea from. I think its all in her head."
"So, what's going to happen tomorrow, Rachel?" Julie asked, hoping to change this subject. Rachel and Janet both sensed the desire to change the subject, and they didn't mind.
"I'm doing the weekly shop tomorrow," Rachel replied. "You three might have to come with me, give me an idea of what to get for the week."
None of the other women had problem with that, and pretty soon Rachel slipped off her hammock to turn off the light.
"Oof!" she suddenly gasped in the darkened room.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," Rachel hissed back. "Just banged my shin against the chair."
When morning came around, everyone got an idea of how...stressful it was for everyone
With 8 people living in the same flat, there were always going to be conflicts over space and time to use the bathroom for showers and other things, but the night before everyone had gotten to bed quietly because they were tired.
There were no tired people in Rachel's flat anymore, and it was the first time they'd ever seen Emma misbehave.
"No, I don't want too," the little girl huffed as her mother struggled to put her little jumper on.
Rachel shook her head patiently. She could remember a time when she'd been the little girl, and her mother had struggled to make her put her clothes on, speaking patiently and calmly without raising her voice.
The thought of Sharon made her grimace for a moment. When Sean had backed off just enough to give her some breathing space, he'd told her Sharon had come back into the fold, that she'd never left it because she was still in touch with Sean's mother.
Rachel had never been so surprised in her entire life, and the worst of it was Sean hadn't seemed to realise how much of a bombshell he'd let off. That was so typical of him, and it was something else she hated about him. He wasn't giving her adventure like he said; he was giving her grey hairs prematurely, and Emma hadn't even started.
When Sean had said goodbye on their last meeting, he'd given her Sharon's mobile number, and told her, her mother wanted to get in touch. Rachel wasn't sure if Sean had given her phone number to Sharon or not, she hadn't received any calls for the past few years since Sean had thankfully left her life, but that could mean anything.
Rachel was under no illusion that her mother didn't know about Emma, who'd received a lovely, but neutral card since it wasn't Christmas, and the sender had no idea when Emma's birthday was.
But Rachel had recognised the writing, and she'd shown it to her sister. Alison advice had been simple, get rid of it, and though she could understand her sister's feelings on the matter, Rachel had kept the card. It had a phone number on it, and she'd put it on her phones under 'MUM.'
Though she was wary of her mother coming back into her life, more accurately into Emma's life, Rachel didn't want to completely remove Sharon from the picture. Who knows? Maybe one day, Emma would want to meet her grandmother, but Rachel was still trying to work out if it was a good idea, and she had spoken with Alison more than once on the subject.
But Ali was firm, she didn't want her kids to think, let alone see her mother, but her younger sister was in two minds about it; she didn't want her daughter exposed to her grandmother's bad habits. Sharon had been a good mother prior to walking out on her kids, but she'd been a heavy drinker with the stress of looking after her husband, and three kids.
Rachel had zoned out for some time, and her daughter had forgotten her little mood. Now Emma was shaking her mother. "Mummy?" she asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"
Rachel shook herself out of her trance at the shaking and her daughter's voice, and with her back against the door she didn't notice the audience.
"Yeah, sorry sweetheart. I was just...thinking," she said, hoping Emma didn't ask her what she was thinking about.
Emma frowned, but when Rachel raised the jumper again, she forgot about why her mother had zoned out.
"What was that all about with Emma?" Gill asked as Julie drove her, Rachel, and Elise in her car. Janet had wanted to come, but when she'd noted her mother was staying with Taisie, and Emma, she'd decided to stay as well so then if the old woman said something nasty to the girl then Janet would be there.
Between Elise or Taisie going to select the food, the answer would always have been Elise. The older girl was more logical and mature than her younger, flighty sister, who would've made them buy all kinds of junk.
Rachel's head snapped to face her boss. "What?" she asked intelligently.
"I watched you zone out when you tried to dress Emma," Gill said. "What was wrong? You looked deep in thought."
Rachel sighed. "I was just remembering my mother. When Sean had said goodbye to me, he told me my mother wanted to see me, and he must've told her about Emma because she received a card even if it wasn't her birthday, and there was a number in it. I recognised the writing. It was my mothers."
Gill frowned. She'd found out enough about her DC's turbulent past to know something about Sharon Bailey, and she knew -
"Does Alison know?"
Rachel glanced out of the window for a moment before replying. "Yes. I told her, and she told me not to do anything. I understand why, of course. The woman abandoned us, she made no effort to take us with her, and Alison and I had to grow up faster. But do I have the right to stop Emma from knowing her own grandmother?" Rachel didn't look away from the window, or the sights of Manchester. It was like she was looking out into the world with her questions, and hoping to get more answers than inside the car. "Alison's eldest kid, Holly, asked me one day about her grandma. She told me she'd asked Alison, but Alison had told her next to nothing so she came to me. I dunno what brought it on, and neither did she. Do I have the right to keep Emma from my mother?" She asked again.
Gill and the others didn't speak on the matter during the rest of the journey, but when they reached the supermarket, they split up. Gill went with Rachel, and Elise with Julie.
Gill was still hoping Rachel would make her decision, and she couldn't let it go. "What do you think you should do, about your mother?" she asked.
Rachel glanced over at her as they shopped for cereals. "I dunno," she replied, not angry her boss and daughter's honorary grandmother's questioning about her daughters REAL grandmother. In fact, Rachel was hoping this discussion would help her with her decision.
"I don't want Emma to feel a bit hurt she doesn't know my mum, but I don't want my mum to expose her to bad habits," Rachel said. "I don't want Emma thinking its okay to drink, and to shag guys without caring what it might lead to. But my mum has the right to know her granddaughter."
Gill nodded. Rachel was right, Sharon did have the right to know Emma, but after listening to all those stories about how her mother would get drunk, and how Alison had taken care of the family...She'd heard all that before, and she couldn't help but feel Alison had a right to be bitter, but Gill also felt that maybe Sharon had suffered enough, though she wasn't going to voice that thought.
Instead she made a mild suggestion. "How about you send letters, pictures, that sort of thing?"
Rachel smiled as she put in a bag of museli in the trolley. "Maybe," she said, "but if I do that she might think I'm letting her back in, and I'll get visits. The last thing I need with Emma is her becoming my mother."
Gill gave a rueful smile. "I don't think there's any way your Emma would do anything your mother did, but she might have changed."
"You think I should extend the olive branch."
Gill bit her lip. Rachel didn't like people poking their noses into her family, but Gill was practically Emma's grandmother, and she loved that role in the girl's life. If Sharon did come back, where would that leave her? A vision of Emma forgetting her filled her with horror. The same thought occurred to Rachel as well.
"If I do extend the olive branch to my mother, where would that leave you and Janet?" Rachel asked her as they slowly wheeled the trolley out of the aisle. "I wanted Emma to grow up with you in her life. I wanted Janet to be there as an aunt, and you as a grandmother because my own mother isn't there. Now she wants to come back, and I'm torn. I think Alison has a point, but Sean tells me she's changed, and he's a fucking wonderful reliable source of information."
Rachel was so agitated by the topic only Gill noticed the scandalised faces as the young woman went into ranting mode. "Worse, even my mum's letters say she's changed, but what good is that?"
Gill gently took Rachel by her arm to lead her away, she didn't want her friend's personal life travelling in the minds of strangers where they'd get nasty little ideas about her. "You won't know unless you meet her. It's up to you Rach, the question is what are you planning to do?"
Rachel bit her lip in indecision. She'd never paid her mother much thought for years, tried not to think about her since thinking about her wouldn't bring her back. Rachel remembered how she'd hung around the door for weeks after she'd buggered off, and only her sister telling her she wouldn't come back and her own realisation Sharon wasn't going to come back.
But when Emma had been born, Rachel had found herself thinking about her mother more and more, and she'd been tempted to try and contact her but she had nothing to go on. Rachel and Alison had no idea where their mother was, and though Alison had given up on a civil chat with Sharon, a part of Rachel had always held out hope her mother would get in touch, but on her terms. Now Sean had blown that, and Sharon now knew about Emma.
Sharon definitely wanted to get back in touch with Rachel, and now aware of her granddaughter she was desperate.
Why her? Sharon must know about Alison and her own kids, but Rachel didn't care about that. Her mother might not know that her eldest daughter hated her.
Elise helped Rachel and Gill unpack the shopping as Julie and Janet got it out.
"Where does this one go, Rachel?" the teenager asked as she held up a pack of pasta.
"There are some jars in that cupboard, just open the bag and pour the pasta in." Rachel replied as she worked on the fridge and freezer.
Elise nodded and went off to do as she was told. Gill glanced at Rachel, not saying a word as she was deep in thought for the moment. "How're you doing?"
"I'm okay, just wondering if we should have a roster for who's doing the dinner and washing up while your here-"
Gill chuckled, interrupting Rachel. "No, I don't mean that, though its a good idea. I meant what're you going to do about your mother?"
Rachel's face closed up. "I don't know," she replied quietly before adding honestly, "I want to get back in touch with her, but I just can't ignore her leaving us like that. She could've taken me, Alison and Dom with her, and leave our dad to rot. We all knew he was a drunken fool, but instead she just left us." Rachel wryly looked into the distance, though she was actually focusing on a bag of peas. "Ya know, I sometimes imagine what our lives would've been like if she had taken us; Ali would never have needed to drop outta school, but I might never have become a police officer, known you," she looked into Gill's face, "Julie, Janet and the girls. I would never have gotten involved in all those case, I might never have even had Emma." Real tears shone in Rachel's eyes as she considered that, if she and her siblings had been raised away from their father, she might never have had her beloved and precious daughter.
Regretting her question already, Gill quickly wrapped her friend in a hug. Rachel reciprocated the hug.
"I'm sorry, Rachel, I shouldn't have asked that question-" Gill tried to apologise, but Rachel shook her head against her boss's shoulder. "Don't," she replied. "It's okay. You asked a good question, and my answer is maybe I will call my mum, but not right now."
Gill pulled away to stare Rachel in the eye. "Has Emma ever asked about her grandmother?" she asked.
This question Rachel COULD answer with complete confidence. "No," she replied honestly, but she sagged. "It might occur to her later, when Holly, Alison's daughter was old enough, she asked my sister about her grandmother, but I told you this already."
Gill nodded. "Will you just cross this bridge when you come to it?"
Putting away the bread, Rachel nodded. "I just don't think I'm ready to get in touch with her yet, boss. There's too much...history for me to let her back in, and I don't think I can just give her a slap on the wrist."
Gill moved back to unpacking the shopping, and decided to change the subject. "I think I'll cook tonight, that okay with you Sherlock?"
The sound of her police nickname made Rachel grin, and she nodded. "Okay, Inspector Lestrade."
Gill and Rachel laughed at that, before they had a visitor.
Emma bounded into the kitchen, blinking in bemusement as her mummy and Auntie Gill laughed, and they stopped when they noticed her presence. "Hi mummy, Auntie Gill. You said it wasn't polite to interrupt people."
Rachel's lips quirked. "Yes, I did."
Emma grinned. "I'm polite," she said proudly.
Gill chuckled. "Yes, you are Emmy."
Emma got to the point of the visit. "You okay mummy? You looked sad when you came home."
Rachel and Gill's hearts warmed at the concern in Emma's voice. Choosing her words with great care, Rachel replied, "I was sad when I got home, about something from work. I'm okay, your Auntie Gill's helped with it."
It wasn't a lie, nor was it the complete truth, and it hurt Rachel to bend the truth with Emma, but she had no choice if she wanted to keep Sharon secret from Emma for a while longer.
Rachel sat next to Janet as the kids went bowling. Emma, with some help from Julie, had managed to pick up one of the balls, and Rachel watched as her daughter cheered happily when the bowling pins she and her Auntie Julie had been knocked down. Rachel found it hard to imagine Julie Dodson as the evil bitch Kevin had painted her as, not with the picture she was getting.
"Penny for them?" Janet said quietly.
"What?" Rachel asked intelligently as she was distracted.
Janet smiled. "Gill told me about your mother. Are you okay?"
"She knows about Emma," Rachel turned to Janet, and then looked away. "Sean's told mum about Emma, and now she wants to meet her. Mum does have the right to know her own granddaughter, I know that, but I can't ignore the pain she caused us. Alison could've become whatever she'd wanted, instead she had to drop school to take care of us."
Janet was silent as her best friend closed her eyes. Rachel tried to give her friend an idea of her indecisiveness. "Janet, put yourself in my place; if your mother left you and your dad, and you had to leave school early to look after him, and years later you had a career and Elise and Taisie. You've had a tough life, and one day you get contacted by her. What would you do?"
Janet was silent; Rachel's question had taken her completely aback. Realistically, she knew her mother would have never walked out on her, but it was a good hypothetical argument. But, she mused over it for a few minutes, thinking about the stories Rachel and Alison had told her, and a scenario entered her mind. Her, tougher and less patient, raising Elise and Taisie differently, still a police officer, but different...suddenly getting in touch with her mother out of the blue.
"I don't know Rachel," Janet replied honestly. "I've never thought of anything like this before, but I'd probably have killed her."
Rachel pushed further. "Would you have kept the girls from her, if she had abandoned you?" Janet nodded. "Because that's how I feel 'bout my mother," Rachel looked away again. "I'm not saying Emma won't be curious, and my mum may have said she'd changed, but I'm not sure if I believe her. Alison certainly doesn't. I guess I'm just too soft."
"Not with the arses we pick off the streets, you're not," Janet smirked.
"Oh, yeah," Rachel smirked back. She sobered. "I want my daughter to be happy, but hopefully mum will have matured by now. I'm going to go bowling with Emma, I don't want her to think I'm a killjoy."
Janet watched Rachel get up, then she hurried to join, not wanting to be left out.
Janet grinned as the grey cloud over Rachel's head faded as she played poker with Elise, Taisie, Julie and Gill. Emma was cheering her mother on as the game went on. Janet kept her eyes on each of them as they used treats instead of chips, chocolate bars and sweets littered the table. The blond DC had the feeling Emma was cheering Rachel on because she wanted those sweets, though she might not get her wish because Rachel didn't spoil her daughter, and had taught her to share.
She could see the hope in her own daughter's faces; both of them wanted to share in the booty with Emma, at least she hoped they did. No, her daughters were many things, but they would never steal from Emma. If they did then Rachel would get involved, and she wouldn't stop Rachel from losing her temper with the girls.
Finally Rachel won, and Emma cheered loudly. "Oh, and what, pray tell, has gotten you so excited, missy?" Rachel asked her daughter over the frustrated grumblings of the players.
Emma stopped bouncing, and gave her mother an arch look. Expectant. "I get sweeties."
Rachel's face didn't change, and everyone wondered what was going through her mind. Emma's expression morphed into a slightly terrified image, and then Rachel's face broke into a grin. "Sorry kid, I couldn't resist." She laughed.
Emma huffed, and she leapt over at her mother, hands outstretched. Janet, Taisie, Elise and Julie laughed when Emma started tickling Rachel.
"No, Emma, no, don't you dare!" Rachel's voice was cut short by her daughter's hands as they reached out for the ticklish spots on her body. Emma, like her mother, was blessed with dextrous hands, and she had long nimble fingers, that she was putting to good use.
Rachel's legs rose high in reflex as she laughed loud enough to be heard from York, her eyes squeezed shut, the little girl laughing along with her.
"You give up, mummy?" Emma asked.
"Yes, yes, I surrender. Okay, please I surrender! You win!" Rachel was quick to surrender as she cried, though this could've been because she was trying so hard to breath properly.
Emma stepped back, cheering in triumph. She didn't have time to enjoy her victory because she caught her mother's devilish look, and her laughter died. She squeaked, and she tried to escape, but Rachel was too fast.
"I've got you now," Rachel sing-songed.
"N-no," the girl gasped out. She couldn't wriggle away, her mother was tickling her too hard. Emma laughed hard as her mother tickled her, but Rachel stopped a moment later. Emma panted, and Rachel silently split the sweets into thirds, and divided them between the three girls.
"Here, now don't eat them all at once," Rachel glared at all three girls in turn sternly. "You understand, young ladies?"
Janet's eyes almost popped out of her skull as she watched her daughters and Emma swallow fearfully under Rachel's stern gaze, and all three girls nodded at once.
"Good," Rachel's friendly smile returned. She pulled the girls into a hug.
"I knew you were scary as a mum, but I never knew you were that scary," Janet commented when the three police women were in their hammocks.
Rachel became sheepish when she remembered how she'd not only glared sternly at Emma, but Janet's own kids. "Sorry, Janet," she said in apology.
As Gill smiled over her book at the two friends, she caught sight of Julie's face. "What's wrong, cock?" she asked.
Julie jumped at the question. "What?" she asked intelligently.
Gill smirked. "You looked like you were swallowing wasps."
Julie scoffed, and then she looked thoughtfully at her friend. Would Gill understand what she was feeling? Yeah, she probably would. "I want to be a mother," she said, and she must've said it loudly because Janet and Rachel overheard her, and turned to face Julie questioningly.
Gill didn't notice, she was too busy scrutinising Julie's face. "What?" Gill had known Julie long enough to know how her mind worked, and she knew Julie would never make an announcement like that unless she was completely serious.
"I want to be a mother," Julie repeated. "I've had this wish for a while, and ever since I came here, watched Rachel and Emma, Janet and the girls, you slap and Sammy...It's made me want that."
Rachel exchanged a look with Janet before looking back at the Detective Superintendent. "Do you really feel up to becoming a mother?" Gill asked.
Julie glared at her. "I'm still fertile, amazingly enough. I think I can do it."
The next day, Gill managed to get Janet and Rachel alone whilst Julie took protective custody of Emma and the girls in case Dorothy's mind dreamt up new complaints.
"I've never known Julie to be so...caught up in thinking she can become a mother," Gill was saying, pacing outside the flat. They were going to go out later on, but Gill needed to clear the air with her friends.
"Personally I see nothing wrong with Julie becoming a mother," Janet said.
"She gets on incredibly well with Emma, Taisie and Elise," Rachel added.
"That's not the point," Gill said.
"Then what is the point?" Rachel asked patiently. "I don't personally see anything wrong with Julie having a kid. Don't tell me your jealous."
Gill glared at her, but Rachel got in there before she got an earful. "Yeah. Julie wanting a kid's surprising, but surely you're happy for her if she wants that?"
Gill lost her glare, and looked sheepish. "Julie's never been interested in kids, but now she's surrounded by kids and mums, she wants one."
Janet snorted. "I doubt its recent. She said she's had this wish for a while."
Gill sagged.
Rachel put a gentle hand on her boss's thin arm. "Boss, seriously, what's wrong?"
Gill bit her lip and answered honestly. "I'm worried about her," she admitted softly. "I don't want her getting her hopes up, and-"
Rachel understood what her boss was saying, and she tightened her grip around Gill's arm. "Gill, Julie knows the risks. She must do, or she wouldn't be hoping for a baby."
Janet nodded. "Rachel's right Gill, Julie's not the kind of person to just want something without thinking about it."
Gill still kept biting down on her lip, but she nodded. Janet was right. Rachel was right, but she was worried. Julie and her were the best of friends, and she'd never been interested in starting a family before. Now she was, and Gill had no idea what to think.
Emma was sitting watching Julie as she cooked. "Auntie Julie," she said at last.
"Mm?" Julie asked as she cut some rind off some steak. "What is it sweetheart?" Julie was worried about Emma; usually she'd hang around the night cook - not Dorothy for obvious reasons - and chat with them. The little girl never distracted them by speaking a mile a minute, asking questions and not letting them reply, she knew when to speak and when not too.
Julie, who'd been hoping to chat with her, had been slightly disappointed Emma hadn't spoken until now, glanced over her shoulder at Emma, and she frowned slightly. Emma was looking happy but shy at the same time, something that intrigued Julie.
Emma bit her lip. "Are you gonna have a baby?"
Julie almost jumped at the question. She should've figured her hope for a family of her own would get around, Gill had spoken about it during breakfast, and the girls (Emma, Elise and Taisie) had been excited for her.
She found she didn't really care what Dorothy thought about her becoming a mother, she didn't care one little bit.
"Yes," she said finally with determination. "I'm gonna try having a baby. So you might have little cousin to play with." Julie added with a smile, hopeful for her chances. She felt confident enough; she was still fertile, and she was good with kids, and she had friends and family to call on if she needed help.
Like Rachel.
Emma rewarded her with a massive smile. "Good!" Then she threw herself at Julie, who almost fell backwards, but managed to wrap her arms around Emma. Neither female knew Rachel was there, watching the scene with a smile.
A/N I bet none of you saw it coming that Julie wanted a baby? A new baby cousin. PS - I'm writing a sequel to Divorce in case you're interested.
