Ch 7- The Broken Pieces

A Month Later

"Ainsley lass, don't run too far ahead!" Elsie called, bouncing the baby on her hip as they walked.

"Mama I won't!" She called.

Allaster sighed, resting his head atop his adoptive father's as they walked. The boy didn't think of Carson has an adoptive father, but simply as his Daddy. Carson had shown him, in just a few month's time what a father's love truly was. With him, everything was just as Allaster had always longed for it to be with his real father. As such, the child had fallen into the habit of practically worshiping the ground Charles Carson walked on and made the conscious decision to think on his biological father and their horrific relationship no more. Deep in his heart, he felt healing begin to take place but he didn't realize that's what it was. Instead, said healing simply manifested itself in the boy's actions and he very secretly spent his free time practicing writing his new name in the notebook Isobel had gotten him as a gift. He couldn't wait to start school in autumn and proudly introduce himself as Allaster Carson.

Arabella was beginning to experience similar healing. The baby girl no longer recalled her former life, or, for that matter life without Elsie who she'd fallen in love with as a babe falls in love with its mother. Elsie and the baby had finally made the connection she'd first feared and she found she felt a natural mother to this child just as she had to it's mother many years before. As such, Arabella now assumed Elsie and Carson were her natural parents and would one day have to be told differently.

Still, Ainslie was probably the happiest of her siblings and the most outgoing.

"Mummy where are we going?" She asked from a distance wanting to know when to stop.

"It's a surprise lass we'll explain when we get there." Elsie called.

Suddenly it was spring. Life without the children seemed a world away to Elsie and Carson and while they were still overwhelmed by the transformation in their lives they couldn't imagine not being parents now.

"She's beautiful." Carson whispered as they watched Ainslie skip happily ahead of them.

The little girl practically danced as she rushed down the path, the sun illuminating her auburn-red hair.

"Would you like to go play lad?" Carson asked, lifting the boy off of his shoulders. He kissed his cheek and put him on his feet. "I bet you can't beat your sister to the surprise." He suggested.

"Yeah Daddy, yeah I can you'll see!" He insisted, running ahead to try to catch up with Ainslie.

"Something wrong?" Elsie asked.

"Just tired." He smiled. Letting the children ride on his shoulders was difficult for him but he tried to let them do it as often as he could. "And I wanted to watch them together. It makes me happy to see them play. I just... some of the time I can't believe we have children."

"You're a natural father." She told him. "I'm so glad I get to see it."

"Thank you so much for the opportunity Mrs. Hughes." He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Mrs. Carson in two weeks, don't you forget it!"

"Oh I could never forget it." He promised, kissing her again. "Ainslie, Allaster stop here." He instructed, looking up at his children from his fiancé's lips.

The twins stopped, looking up curiously at the big brick cottage at the edge of the path. It had two floors, a big yard and roses growing up the side of the facade. It wasn't Crawley house but the children were still impressed with it, it being far nicer than where they'd spent there first few years of life. Ainslie felt her soul sigh when she first looked at it; something about it seemed just perfect.

"Welcome home my lad and lass." Elsie explained.

The twins turned and looked at their parents with wide eyes.

"We get to live here?" Allaster asked. "With you?!"

"Yes my boy." Carson chuckled. "This is our new home, the five of us."

"Well move in after the wedding what do you think of that?" Elsie inquired.

"Yay!" The two burst, beginning to jump up and down.

Carson and Elsie both found themselves touched at the twin's celebration.

"My lad and lass let's go inside and do some exploring." Elsie suggested.

"Do we get to be with you here every night?" Allaster asked, trying to make sure.

"Yes my boy." Carson reassured, taking his hand in his own as they walked inside.

The twins were excited, anxious to get their first glimpse of what life with their new parents would be like. The five were surprised when they walked inside, not having expected it to be quite so modern. The house was only about fifteen years old but had plenty of modern amenities none of them had ever lived with before. Elsie was excited about them and thought they would make life with young children much, much easier.

"Wow it pretty." Ainslie observed.

"Yes my love it is." Elsie said, placing the picnic basket down on the kitchen table when she heard Allaster's stomach rumble. "After we explore we're going to have a little lunch."

"Because we thought it would be appropriate to have a first meal in our new home, don't you?" Carson asked.

The house wasn't all that large but the twins were impressed with it, it seeming far grander to them than it was. Carson was proud of the place, happy to have four walls to call his own and a family to live there with him. Elsie was overwhelmed. A house filled with a loving husband and three children was too much for her to ask for and went a long way toward the healing old wounds of not being able to provide something similar for her Allison. The baby didn't know what was going on but felt as if for once, something was soundly right and as it should be.

"What do you think Arabella do you want to live here with Mummy and Daddy and your brother and sister?' She whispered sweetly to the baby as Carson gave the twins their tour.

Arabella looked around curiously, not understanding where she was. The twins still lived with Isobel, but Arabella slept in Elsie's room at Downton during the night; having needed the bonding time with her new mother. The baby remembered nothing of her former life but knew she'd been moved around a lot and wondered what this new place was.

Carson and Elsie showed the twins around and couldn't believe the things they marveled over: the stove, the big, inviting fireplace, the modern bathroom and it's big claw-foot tub…the two weren't excited that they would not share a room. At first, Carson had taken the opportunity to re-explain why he didn't find such an arrangement appropriate but Elsie stopped him, suddenly realizing the real reason why they were so amazed by the place.

"My lad and lass, did you not have a bedroom before?" She asked.

They shook their heads no and Carson raised an eyebrow.

"We slept in the kitchen." Ainslie explained.

"Together." Allaster added.

"By the fire."

"We thought we'd get cold at Auntie Isobel's because we weren't by the fire." He offered.

"Will we get cold here?" Ainslie asked.

"No my lass." Elsie explained. "This will be a warm, loving home and you get your own toasty warm places to sleep."

"Even beds?" Ainslie asked.

"Even beds." Carson reassured.

"Daddy?" Allaster asked as he and his twin wandered over to the window seat in the second story bedroom they were all in. This one, they'd figured, would likely belong to the girls.

"Yes my boy?"

"Daddy where are you gonna keep the belt?" He asked, turning toward him.

"Yeah Daddy where?" Ainslie asked anxiously, biting her lip.

Carson paused and Elsie held Arabella tight. Both looked back seeing terror in the twin's eyes at the thought of their sudden question. They'd not thought of it before, but the introduction of a new home brought back thoughts of the old one and so they considered that they should ask and brace themselves. Carson and Elsie were horrified and both held back tears for the moment.

Neither knew what to think or say. One thing was for sure though. It'd been an inquiry that spoke volumes to the future Mr. and Mrs. Carson about what their children had been through and suddenly, brutally answered a lot of question's they'd had about the twin's upbringing, leaving them with many more.

"Allaster, Ainslie." Carson gulped, his demeanor talking on more seriousness as he walked toward them.

Elsie's heart sunk, watching them shrink away from her fiancé and almost begin to cower as he neared them. He reached out gently with each of his hands to steady the children, placing his palm on each of their cheeks and smiling bittersweetly as he got on his knees, noting they both jumped as his touch. They'd never done that before.

"My children." He spoke softly. Those words upon his breath soothed Elsie's soul and she found it was almost enough to keep her from crying. "My children, this will be a warm, loving home, one of love first and discipline second. Sure there will be discipline if need be but there will be none of that in this house. There will be not belt."

He paused, the twins looked dumbfounded at his explanation and Ainslie couldn't help but note Elsie started to cry, just as her mother used to when it happened.

"Your father's hands." He continued, still caressing their cheeks, both children were silent and crying softly now. "They were made for reassurance and for drying tears." He smiled. "Not causing them. My children do you understand that?" He asked. "For my children there will NEVER be any of that ever again."

The twins nodded slowly, big tears in their eyes. Although they'd lived with Isobel several months, they understood it was not a normal or permanent living situation and could not conceive of a father's home, a normal home, without a belt.

"No lashings?"Allaster whispered. Elsie started to really cry and ducked out of the room.

"No nothing." Carson said, tears coming to his eyes. "Oh my children give me a hug." He told them. The twins slipped into his arms and laid their heads to rest on his chest, overwhelmed by his promise never to hurt them. He continued. "As long as I have breath I will love you, and for all of forever I promise." He said, kissing each of their foreheads. "Never to hurt you."

Elsie made her way downtstairs, heartbroken and barely able to maintain composure. She was crushed for the children, and it did explain a lot about their former life, but she couldn't help but wonder just what her Allison had been through with this man she'd married. The idea that perhaps she'd been abused too was about to drive her crazy. Her baby didn't deserve that, not after everything else she'd been through. Elsie put the baby in the high chair and began to sort out lunch, deciding to go on quickly, not wanting her share of emotion over the whole incident to hurt the kids more.

Everything was quiet now save the sound of Ainslie crying upstairs in Charlie's arms. She looked over at Arabella who sat, sucking her fingers and suddenly, Elsie couldn't help but sob too.

….

The twins were overwhelmed but ecstatic after their talk with Carson and stuffed themselves over lunch, telling their new parents more disturbing things about their former home life, like their lack of food for example and their father's willingness to spend most of his earnings on something he called liquid courage. Elsie was devastated, but the twins seemed to bounce back nicely, happily enjoying the large meal, and happy new home. Carson didn't realize his bride was dismayed by this, appalled that the children thought some of these things were normal.

By the end of the afternoon, all three tots had fallen asleep and Carson took on the weighty task of carrying the sleepy twins back to Crawley house.

"I'm devastated Charlie.' She told him.

"I'm not." He admitted. He'd expected to hear something like this from the twins.

"Why ever not?! My poor wee babes."

'Because we get the chance." He smiled. "To pick up all the broken pieces. For them, for you… for your Allison. They may've suffered but they don't have to stay like that forever and that means a happy ending."

"I hope you're right." She was skeptical that time and circumstance could heal that much.