Christian had been pacing in his office since he had gotten home "how could I be so stupid!" he shouted to himself, he had thought he had found someone special but when she uttered those words "I don't know it's complicated and I'm not ready to talk about it" he felt his chest tighten and his fists clench, he was struggling to breath he knew he had to get out of there, Christian was disturbed from his thoughts by a text from him mother "Christian darling I was hoping you and that darling girlfriend of yours would come over tomorrow for brunch, let me know- mom x" girlfriend? Is that what she was, Christian knew that even if that had been so after his less than gentlemanly behaviour she would not be so any longer. Christian sighed he thought he needed some time and where better than to take the Grace out for a few days, Ros could hold the fort for him he thought so he dialled his good friend Mac, who answered after the second ring "Chris long time no speak, how are you?" "I'm fine Mac, I was wondering if you were free to join me on the Grace for a week thought that we could sail and catch up" "I never took you for a liar Chris, last time we went out on the Grace was when a company worth what was it? 2 billion backed out, I'm free for the next week or two, I did have a date planned Monday but I can reschedule, anything for you dear" Christian laughed "you know me too well, no companies this time, it's a girl, a beautiful strong stubborn girl, but we can talk about it while we catch up, shall we say meet tomorrow at the marina? Say 9am" Mac gasped then chuckled "and there was the whole world thinking you were gay, 9am the marina see you then" "asshole see you tomorrow" Christian hung up laughing, Christian was just leaving his office when his phone rang he looked at the screen and thought what does he want? "Grey" he snapped "is that anyway to speak to your big brother? Are you going to moms for brunch tomorrow?" and added with ill ease "with Ana?" Christian didn't want his family to know his personally problems so he used the only excuse he could "Mac wanted to go sailing for a few days, I can't cancel on him now" Elliott knew his brother better than that "bullshit Christian, this is about you and Ana don't deny it she came back here in a foul mood and hasn't left her room since, what the fuck happened? Did you two break up?" Christian sighed he had been hoping his brother wouldn't find out about the train wreck that was there date "she practically told me there was another guy Lelliott, I freaked out and left, it hurt when she told me she didn't know how she felt about him I mean where does that leave me? Leave us? I need a few days, enjoy the sea clear my head, you know?" "No wonder she's in there crying then, I don't know how you two got into such a mess, you're clearly meant for each other, take a few days think it over, you should of let her explain man, I know you, you just up and left right? Your such an ass bro" Elliott laughed "I didn't know what else to do, all I heard was there is guy out there who's touched her, slept with her and shared times with her, had firsts with her that I never can, I lost it El I've never felt like this before" remembering his cold CEO self he added in his usual no nonsense voice "I have to go, bye" and hung up, he had said too much, he had come so close to saying he loved her, in such a short few months she had bewitched him like no other, Christian straightened himself up and left his office walking into his kitchen where Gail was preparing his food "evening Mrs Jones" Gail turned on her heel and smiled up at him "Mr Grey, evening sir. Food is nearly ready Coq au Vin" Christian always saw Gail more as a mother figure then a housekeeper, looking at her angelic smile made him feel guilty, she and Taylor worked hard for him and yet he rarely thanked them or gave them any time off "thanks Gail , you and Taylor can take 2 weeks off" Gail looked at him in shock "I will be going out on the Grace for at least a week, I thought you and Taylor might want a break, you can take the GEH jet whenever, Taylor might as well make use of being the only other person on the permitted list" Christian winked at Gail "thank you Mr Grey, your supper is ready" Gail came around the kitchen island and placed a bowl of piping hot coq au vin in front of Christian "this smells delicious Mrs Jones, thank you" Gail discreetly left the room, the sinking feeling had returned in his chest, he felt so alone again, he never felt alone with Ana, she brought him to life, he finished his food and sauntered into his bedroom, he was undressing for a shower when he noticed a grey jacket on the chair by the window he walked over and picked it up and got a waft of vanilla and roses and he felt sick, he felt the pain in his chest again and he hugged the jacket inhaling the toxic smell that was his Ana, he knew he loved her and that he wouldn't just let her go, he decided to skip the shower, he instead led on his bed resting his head on her jacket thinking of her
Flashback
"Christian where are we going I can't see with this darn thing over my eyes" Christian had never taken anyone here and he wanted to surprise her "don't worry I'll guide you" he watched as she stumbled along, taking her hand he led her along the grass "there's a few steps to go down, be careful" on the last step Ana tripped, before falling to the floor Christian grabbed her arm and pulled her into his arms, their lips close enough to feel each other's breath, he couldn't resist placing a chaste kiss on her plump pink lips, when he pulled away and realised that both her arms were placed on his chest and he quickly stood Ana up, he was confused, no one could touch him, it had always brought him back to his childhood, all he felt was pain and fear, the smell of burning flesh in the air, but all he felt with Ana was safe and peaceful like...like the girl from the beach, he still couldn't be sure, they carried on walking until they came to their destination he pulled the blindfold from her eyes and she gasped "were going gliding?" she turned to Christian with a huge smile plastered on her face he couldn't help but return it "we are, I have never done this with anyone before, I thought you'd enjoy it" Ana stepped into him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest "thank you Christian, the first of many firsts I hope" Christian smiled into her hair and wrapped his arms around her "me too, me too".
Christian needed to talk to her, he knew that but he was too nervous and scared of what might happen, he thought that he could always go away, clear his head and when he comes back they can sort this all out, with that thought Christian drifted off thinking of Ana.
