A/N: I'm not really happy with this chapter. I don't think I got enough of Bella's emotion into it. But that's just me and I'm CDO (OCD in alphabetical order) with a lot of perfectionism on top so nothing I do is as good as I want it.

I hope you like it though! (:

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Chapter 6

Finding Myself


It was almost time. The dance was in less than an hour. Alice and Rosalie were already dressed and were now finishing my hair and nails.

Rose was wearing a black dress with thin straps. It had an empire waist with a strip of glittery beads right below her chest. Her hair was perfectly straight and she looked beautiful.

Alice was wearing a jersey dress with white crocheted detail on the bodice and front patch pockets. The hem was like a little bubble. She looked so cute.

And I was wearing a 'beautiful Pacific blue dress with thin spaghetti straps, a Ruched bodice, an empire waist, and a softly gathered skirt'. Those were Alice's exact words.

I was so nervous. My heart was pounding as Alice pulled parts of my hair up while the rest was still in curlers. Rose was painting my nails an 'Elderberry Metallic' color and was trying not to get any paint on my skin or dress.

"What if I make a fool of myself?" I asked them for the hundredth time.

Rosalie looked away from my hands for a moment to stare at me. "Bella, if you don't stop asking stupid questions like that, I swear that I will smack you."

"I agree." Alice said, pinning my hair. "If you keep thinking bad things will happen, they most likely will. Now, hold still while I take down the rollers. They're very hot." She slowly pulled each one out, my hair turning into soft curls. Alice pulled a few curls up, but left the rest down. "Close your eyes, I'm spraying." I quickly did as I was told as she quickly sprayed my hair.

"Done!" Alice and Rose cried at the same time.

I opened my eyes and looked into the mirror in front of me. I was met by a girl with soft red lips and big brown eyes. Her hair was soft as it tumbled down her shoulders. I turned and smiled widely at Alice and Rose. "Thanks, girls. You always amaze me."

There was a tap on the door. "Are you ready to go, ladies?" Carlisle opened the door and smiled when he saw us.

"You all look beautiful." He held up a camera and said, "Esme wants to take pictures before we leave. Let's go downstairs and take them by the piano. The boys are already down there." The girls and I hurried down the steps and into the foyer where the piano was. Edward had started playing two years ago and was amazing. The house was almost always filled with his music.

Emmett, Jasper, and Edward were already there and looked great. Each one had on a tux and a flower pinned to their lapel.

Esme made Rose, Alice, and I sit on the bench while the boys stood around us. We all smiled and Carlisle took the picture. Then Esme insisted that we each had an individual one. Once that was over, she said that she wanted one of Emmett and Rose. Rosalie sat on the bench while Emmett stood beside her, his hand resting on her shoulder. They smiled widely while Carlisle snapped the picture.

"Come on, Jazz!" Alice cried, grabbing his hand. "Let's get one of us." They sat in the same position as Rose and Emmett. Alice had a hard time trying to sit still while the picture was taken. Too much sugar and caffeine.

"Okay, now Bella and Edward!" Esme said, pushing the two of us over. My cheeks turned red as I sat on the bench. Edward stood beside me, rested his hand on my shoulder, and leaned down to whisper something to me. I turned to look at him. Before he could say anything, the camera snapped. We both looked up to see a smiling Esme who had stolen the camera from Carlisle.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist." She said. "One more."

Edward and I smiled as she took the last picture.

"Thanks, Dad and Mom." Alice said, giving them a quick kiss on their cheeks. "Now, let's get moving. I need to talk to the DJ and go over some last minute details." Alice grabbed her clutch and breezed out the room. Rose and I grabbed our clutches and followed.

"Are you taking us, Carlisle?" Rose asked.

"Yes, I am." Carlisle replied, grabbing his keys from the kitchen counter. Rose, Alice, and I put on our nice coats. I was about to follow them to Carlisle's Mercedes, but stopped to talk to Edward.

"What were you going to tell me?" I asked him.

He looked at me and smiled. "I was just going to tell you that you looked beautiful."

"Guys, let's go!" Esme called. "I'm driving you boys!"

"I'll see you there, Bells." Edward said, hurrying after Esme before she got annoyed.

My cheeks turned red as I ran out to the car. Thank goodness Alice had let me wear flats or else I would have fallen going down the slippery steps. I slid into the back seat and buckled up. Carlisle turned on the car and drove down the driveway and onto the highway.

"Emmett looked really good in his tux." Rosalie said, thinking out loud.

"I still think it's weird that you're going together." I said. "I mean, you're practically brother and sister."

"Bella, it isn't weird. It's not like we're dating. And besides, we're not brother and sister." Rose replied. She opened her clutch and pulled out a small mirror to check her makeup.

"Just wait until you get older, Bella." Alice said with a knowing smile. "I bet that you and Edward are going to be together."

I faked a gag. "Are you serious? Me and Edward? You're crazy."

"Don't bet against her, Bella." Carlisle said, glancing back at us. "She's usually right." The car was silent the rest of the ride except for the radio which was playing a classical piece. I think it was called Piano Concerto No. 21 by Mozart. It was one the Edward played a lot on the piano. It was very relaxing and beautiful.

We arrived at the school and there were already a lot of cars. Carlisle pulled up to the sidewalk right in front of the doors. I took a deep breath and then pushed the car door open. I stepped out and my face was hit with very cold air. Alice followed me and shut the door. We waved as Carlisle drove off with Rose.

"Are you ready?" Alice asked, hooking our arms together.

"Not really. But let's go."

We walked arm in arm up the stairs and into the school. The halls were deserted, but I could hear loud music coming from the gym. When we arrived at the gym doors, I took a deep breath and pushed the heavy door open. I was met by paper mache streamers, balloons all over the floor, and boys and girls pressed against opposite walls. No one was dancing.

I looked over at Alice.

"Before you say anything, I wasn't the one who decorated. I just planned it." Alice said, her hand on her hip. "I tried to give them some of my ideas, but noooo. They thought they could do it themselves. The nerve of some people."

"Alice, it looks great. Really."

"Bella, you are the worst liar. But thanks." She gave me a quick hug. "Now! I need to go talk to the DJ and try to get people to dance!" With that, she hurried off.

I stood there for a moment, surveying the room. I didn't see many familiar faces. My eyes landed on the two people standing off to the side. She was wearing a beautiful black dress with a one shoulder ruffle thing. Her blond hair perfectly fell over one shoulder. He was wearing a tux and his handsome and mysterious features made him look like Carey Grant or maybe James Dean.

I smiled and hurried over to them.

"Well, well, if it isn't Miss Bella!" Emma said, bending over and giving me a hug. She was wearing Stilettos so she was much taller than usual. "Cliff, this is the Bella I've been telling you so much about."

Cliff smiled at me. His hair was cut short and he had a great smile. "Hello, Bella. So I hear that you're a big reader?"

I blushed. "Yeah. Thanks to Emma,"

"Hey, I just put the book in your hands. You're the one who opened that door to a new world." She smiled at me. "I can't take very much credit for it."

I laughed.

"Oh! I finished Pride and Prejudice! I loved it. Although Elizabeth got on my nerves sometimes, I thought it was great." The conversation flowed from there. I was surprised how much Cliff had to say about the book. He was talking maybe even more than Emma!

We were just in a deep discussion about Mrs. Bennett when I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Austin there. He was wearing a tux and a white flower was pinned to his lapel.

For some reason, I was suddenly breathless.

"Hello, Austin." I said softly.

"Bella, you look…." He eyed me up and down. "Beautiful. Would you like to dance?"

I nodded dumbly. Turning back to Cliff and Emma, I said, "I'll see you later." Emma gave me a wink before Austin led me onto the dance floor.

A slow song was playing and I was kind of thankful. If it were a fast song, I would have embarrassed myself terribly. Not that I wouldn't embarrass myself while dancing to a slow song, but it wouldn't be as bad.

Austin put his hands around my waist and I put mine around his neck. As we danced, I could feel him eying me up and down. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable under his gaze.

Trying to get my mind off the fact that I was uncomfortable, I listened to the song. It was a classical song… that's surprising. None of the kids I knew listened to this kind of music, not to mention actually dance to it.

"Who chose this song?" Austin asked, trying to come up with something to talk about. "I mean, is it even from this century?"

"It's Chopin." I said kind of hurt. "It's been around for centuries."

"Yeah, but this is a dance. Shouldn't we be listening to newer things?" Man, I never actually realized how dim he was.

"I'm going to get something to drink." I said suddenly pulling away from him. I hurried over to the table where food was being served and poured myself a glass of the punch. I lifted it to my lips and took a sip.

"Bella." A voice said from behind me.

I turned around to see Edward standing there. His green eyes shone in the dim light as he looked at me. His bronze hair was rumpled, but it looked good. I never really noticed this before, but Edward had really nice hair and eyes. Girls were always making comments about it, but I usually brushed it off, thinking that they were love sick. But now, I really saw that they were right. Edward was kind of… cute.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked, snapping me out of the daze I was in. I hadn't realized that I was staring at him. My cheeks turned red instantly.

"Um, yes. Why do you ask?" I said, trying not to think about the thoughts that were running through my head earlier. Edward: cute? Where did that come from?

"Are you sure? I saw you come over here by yourself and you looked kind of… unhappily surprised?"

"I'm fine." I wasn't going to talk about Austin with him. I knew he wasn't all that happy about me being here with him.

"Where's your date?" He asked and I could tell that he was trying not to sound mad.

"Um…" I searched the room for Austin. My eyes landed on him… and Lauren. They were standing off to the side, talking. Austin was waving his hands around wildly and Lauren (wearing an ugly dress, I might add) had her hands on her hips, pouting.

Edward looked over to what I was staring at. He quickly turned back to me and said, "Would you like to dance?"

My eyes shot to him. "I can try."

He smiled and pulled me back onto the dance floor. Just as he was putting his arms around me, Mrs. Carter tapped on the microphone and said, "I hope you all are having a good time! We have just received our nominations for the King and Queen of the Winter Dance!" Everyone had stopped dancing and was looking at Mrs. Carter. "For the King, our nominations are: Zach Goode, Austin Evens, Edward Cullen, and Jack Morgan!" Everyone cheered. "And for the Queen, our nominations are: Emily Jones, Lauren Mallory, Ava Jackman, and Alice Culle-" Mrs. Carter stopped talking as someone went up to her and handed her a piece of paper. She opened the note and scanned it. "Well, there has been a change. We have a fifth nomination for the Winter Queen! Isabella Swan! The voting table is by the door. We will announce the King and Queen in one hour."

Did she just say my name?

"What." It didn't come out as a question. "Did she just…"

"This is great, Bells!" Edward said, giving me a hug. "I hope you win. You deserve it."

"But I don't want to be the Winter Queen!" I said.

"Bella, it's okay." Edward searched my eyes. He was about to say something else, but Austin came up just then and interrupted our conversation.

"Hey, Bella. I was wondering where you went to." He said with a smile.

"I was just talking to Edward."

Austin didn't even turn to acknowledge Edward. Instead, he just kept talking to me. "I know you're going to win. I can feel it."

"Oh, um, thanks."

"Come on," He grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Edward. "Let's go vote." He led me over to the voting table where a line was forming. We slowly moved forward and when we reached the table, Austin grabbed a piece of paper and filled it out. In the 'Queen' section, he wrote my name and in the 'King' section, he wrote his. He stuffed it into the box and then moved to the side, casting me a quick smile.

I sighed and picked up a paper. I debated over what I should do. I really didn't want to be the Winter Queen. Making up my mind, I wrote Ava Jackman's and Jack Morgan's names down. They were such a cute couple; I thought that they should win.

I quickly stuffed my vote into the box and moved over to where Austin was. He gave me a big smile, grabbed my hand, and was about to say something, but just then Angela came up.

"Hey, Bella!" She said. She was wearing a black and white dress with small flower designs. "Austin, can I steel your date for a minute?"

Austin just smiled and said, "Sure. I'll be over there." He pointed to where a group of boys were talking. For some reason, I could tell that he was annoyed.

Once he was gone, Angle grasped my hand and led me over to Ava and some other girls from our class were.

Ava had the cutest dress on. It was black and white and had a bow on the side. It looked like it was from the 1940's. Ava looked adorable in it. I was sure that Jack thought so too.

"Bella!" Ava said, smiling at me. She gave me a big hug. That was one thing I liked about Ava. She was so energetic and made you feel like you were her best friend. "I love your dress, but didn't you get the memo? It's supposed to be black and white only."
My eyes bugged out of my head. I looked around quickly and saw that everyone was only wearing black and white. Alice. "Um, no I didn't know that."

"I think your dress is cute." Angela interjected. "Blue is a great color on you."

"How are my girls?"Emma asked, coming up to us with Cliff. "You all look beautiful."

"Thank you!" Ava said, smiling widely.

We chatted for a while, talking about different things. We were in the middle of a conversation about Christmas vacation when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to find Micah there. She was wearing a white dress that was kind of short with a black bow below her chest and black straps.

"Hey, Bella!" She said, "Are you enjoying the dance?"

"Surprisingly, I am." I replied with a smile. I didn't add that I was only enjoying being with my friends. It wasn't that I didn't like Austin; I was just confused about him. And I didn't even know why I was confused!

Micah took my arm gently in hers and we started walking. "Well, I was talking to your date and he said that he wanted to dance with you, but you were talking with your friends. I think he feels a little bit left out."

Guilt suddenly hit me. I was supposed to be here with Austin. But instead, I was hanging out with my friends and ignoring him.

"Do you know where he is?" I asked her, glancing around.

"Right here." A voice said from behind me. I turned around to find Austin standing there. Micah's arm let go of mine and she slipped away.

"Austin, I'm sorry I haven't been with you this evening." I apologized.

"It's okay," He said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Do you want to dance?"

"Well, um…. I can't dance." I mumbled.

He laughed. "That can't be true. We were dancing earlier on."

"Yes, but that was a slow dance. I can't dance any of the fast songs." My cheeks were starting to burn.

"That's okay," He said, reaching for my hand. "I can teach you."

Oh no.

The next ten minutes of my life were pure torture. It involved me trying to dance and failing miserably, a few laughs from Austin, falling down a lot, and the occasional time when I tripped and made both of us fall. The whole time, I could feel people watching us.

By the time we were done, I had sworn that I would never dance again.

"Hey, it wasn't that bad." Austin said, casually rubbing his arm. The last dance, I had somehow elbowed him (quite hardly) in the arm. He tried not to let it show, but I knew it had really hurt him.

"Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but I don't think we should dance again." He was about to protest, but I said, "Just agree. It will save us both some pain." He laughed.

"Can I have your attention please?" Mrs. Carter said. The gym was suddenly silent. Everyone was looking at her. "I have the results for the Winter King and Queen!" She opened a note and scanned it. "The Winter King is…. Austin Evens!" Everyone cheered. Austin smiled at me and then made his way to the stage. Mrs. Carter handed him a crown (I know, very cheesy) and he put it on his head.

"We love you, Austin!" A group of girls yelled. Austin winked at them and I could actually hear them hit the ground when they fainted.

"And, our Winter Queen is….. Isabella Swan!"

I froze.

People cheered.

I could feel hands pushing me forward, onto the stage. I looked with wide eyes at Austin and Mrs. Carter. Everything was in slow motion. The noise around me was just a distant buzz in my ears. One thought repeated itself over and over again in my head: But I don't want to be the Winter Queen.

I was jolted from my thoughts when I heard Mrs. Carter say, "And now for their dance!" That brought me back into the real world.

The dance floor cleared when Austin lead me down from the stage. The crown on my head tilted slightly, so I reached up to fix it.

"Austin," I whispered, "I can't dance!" My voice came out as a squeak.

"But it's a slow song. Don't worry." He pulled me into his arms as 'All We Are' by Matt Nathanson drifted through the speakers.

As we danced, everyone watched us. I looked over all their faces, taking in the extremely angry girls. Teachers were smiling at us, remembering back to the days when they were as old as us. So many people, but couldn't find the one I needed most: Edward. He wasn't anywhere. Neither was Alice.

The only person I could see was Lauren and her clones…. with Micah standing right beside her. They all had knowing smirks on their faces.

Something wasn't right.

"Austin… what's going on?" I whispered.

"I'm sorry, Bella. This wasn't my decision." He whispered back, just before spinning me… and 'accidentally' letting me go. I lost my balance and fell right into the food table.

The punch bowl tipped over and dumped its contents on me. Food flew and splattered across my face and dress. The speaker behind the table was shorted out because of the punch that had spilled onto it. When that speaker went out, they all did. The gym was suddenly quite. No one said anything. No one moved.

The silence was broken by a laugh. I looked over to see who it was and wasn't surprised.

Lauren was beside Austin and was laughing. Austin had a smile on his face and was chuckling.

A slow ripple of laughter went through the gym and was followed by full out laughter. I looked around at all the laughing faces and tears filled my eyes.

I shook my head and got to my feet, but just slipped again and fell back to the ground. Everyone roared with laughter.

I saw Emma and Cliff pushing through the crowd, trying to get to me.

I had to get out of there. I couldn't take it anymore.

I scrambled to my feet and pushed past Lauren and Austin who were still laughing. I ran through the crowd of people and through the doors.

"Lauren!" I heard Alice scream from the gym, "What did you do?!"

Lauren just laughed and said, "I put her where she belonged."

I kept running, not looking back. Tears raked my body as I ran down the deserted hallways. This couldn't be happening.

I threw open a door and entered the room. I sank down by one of the walls as tears fell down my face. Why had I come here? I had known that Austin was bad news and yet I had said yes to him. Maybe some part of me wanted to believe that he was still good and would run away from Lauren, realizing that she wasn't the one for him. Well, that was a dream. They were perfect for each other.

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I looked at my surroundings. I had run into the music room. All sorts of instruments sat in their stands. Violins, a bass, trombones, flutes, horns, an oboe, a harp, and a beautiful piano. And then, in the corner: a cello.

I slowly stood up from the wall and walked over to it. I vaguely remembered my father playing the cello. My father. If he hadn't died, I wouldn't even have been in this situation. We could still be in France.

If I could just remember what had happened that night! Then I could tell Agent Perez – who still called me every few months to see if I'd remembered anything even though I hadn't – and he could get the bad guys and put them in jail. Then I could come out of hiding and actually tell people my real name. Not have to worry about people finding out who I really was: Isabella Marie Swan Daaѐ, the daughter of the famous Daaѐ Performers. The performers who had died. And the performers whose daughter had disappeared and no one knew where said daughter was.

I doubted I would ever remember though. It had been years, but nothing had come back. Actually, memories were fading.

I traced the edges of the cello's smooth wood. Gently, I picked up the bow. It fit perfectly in my hand. I held the cello up and pulled it to me. Carefully, I put the bow to the strings and slowly pulled it back and forth. It didn't sound very good at first, but after a few tries, it sounded beautiful. I started playing around, making different sounds. Somewhere along the way, it turned into a song. It was sad and slightly mournful. I lost myself during the song, putting my heart into it.

I hated that my family was dead. I hated that I was intruding on the Cullen's home. Yes, Rosalie and Jasper were there too, but the Hale's had been there much longer than I had. I doubted they even remembered their real parents. But I did. Even if it was just a faint memory, I remembered. And I wanted them. I wanted my real family. The Cullen's and Hale's were my family, but I wanted my mother and father and sister.

I slowly pulled my song to a stop. I hadn't even realized I was crying again. I quickly wiped the tears from my face.

I heard movement by the door. My head snapped up to see who was there.

I hadn't even known that many people were there. Emma and Cliff, Angela and Sean, Ava and Jack, Micah and Taylor, Jessica and Mike, Austin and Lauren, Alice and Andy, and other people I didn't know.

But my eyes were only focused on one person: Edward. I didn't even notice the flash of a camera or the whispers going through the crowd. I only saw Edward. He was staring at me in awe. Slowly, he walked towards me. He sank to his knees in front of me and put his hands on mine.

"Bella," He said, "Are you okay?"

"I think so." I whispered, staring at the cello now. "I think I just found myself."


A/N: Aw! Poor Bella. ):

Please don't be mad at me. This had to happen.

I know the scene with Austin where he dropped her wasn't that bad, but I would have run out of there crying. (;

Please review! It gives me motivation! And even if you don't have a FFiction account, you can still review my stories.

Also, I'm happy that you Alert me and put my story as one of your favorites, really I do, but I like actually hearing from you. So please review! (:

PS. Dresses are on my profile!