A/N: For all those who fear of the ending of this story, it is not over. I have plenty more I'd like to write about. This is just the beginning of another journey for Dimitri and Rose. Like I said early in the story, Dimitri became very popular and like a leader to the Strigoi. Cause and effect people. Enjoy!

Chapter 7


I don't know how long I stared into those dark eyes. Those beautiful dark eyes I thought I'd never see again. The bags under his eyes indicated he hadn't slept in a long time. His hair looked disheveled and unkept. I wanted so badly to run my hands through that dark, silky long hair.

"You haven't slept," I pointed out with obvious disapproval.

He didn't smile. "I was terrified for you." His eyes glossed over and I remembered one thing about Dimitri: I had never seen him cry. I'd always seen Dimitri as invincible, or at the very least inhuman strength of the mind. I knew that he fought for control like me, but tears were never something he had to fight back. Seeing him on the verge seemed like enough to break me down. "I couldn't help but feel that, because of what I was, I hurt you. I didn't know if I'd hurt you at all because I don't remember anything. The first thing I saw was you…" his voice trailed off.

I looked away, shamefaced. "No, that wasn't your fault. That was just me being stupid again; not putting any thought into anything. I don't really remember much either. I didn't want to remember anything." I smacked myself in the forehead. "God, I've been so stupid these past couple of months. I'm a fucking mess." I didn't say it dejectedly, just as a statement of fact. I accepted it.

Dimitri removed my hand from my forehead where I probably left a good red mark. "No," he said softly. "You did what you believed to be right. What I believed to be right. Almost everything you did was right." His thumb drew circles on the top of my hand while staring directly into my eyes.

I frowned. "What do you mean by 'almost' everything right?"

I couldn't explain the expression on his face. Frustration, disapproval, passion? I couldn't narrow it down. "Why did you give up, Roza?" His voice got thick. "Why did you just give up? You told Lissa you'd come back to her."

"I told her—" he cut me off before I could finish.

"You need to keep promises you make. Don't abandon people like that. I thought you wanted to protect Lissa, not abandon her? She's been a wreck these past couple of days." I winced. I never wanted nor intended to get Lissa roused up or upset. Guilt clouded my mind. Dimitri took a deep breath before continuing. "Really, Rose, what were you thinking?" He shook his head.

An annoyed feeling buzzed in my mind. "Well, knowing that Adrian would try to go out with me when I returned is enough reason for suicide," he smiled a little at that, "and as for right now, I really want to get out of this stupid bed. I think I've spent a good month of my life in this clinic altogether." I decided to save the last part for a better time.

He shook his head. "No, you need to stay in here until the nurse let's you go."

"Want to play doctor? I'll be the patient. You can give me a physical. That should pass the time pretty quickly." I needed to get out of here before I really went crazy.

Dimitri tried being serious, but who can be serious with such a childish innuendo? "No." If he said anything else, he'd burst into laughter.

"Can I at least sit up? I'm straining my neck just to look at you dude." He conceded and I adjusted myself.

"Tell me what else you were thinking when we were in Russia. You didn't tell me everything." Damn it. He could always tell.

"Maybe another time." I changed perspectives. "What are you now? I mean, are you dhampir, Moroi, human?" He seemed to think about his answer.

"That's what took us a while to figure out. Strangely enough, I'm actually a dhampir again. I feel completely normal and healthy. But you changed the subject."

"Duh." I was going to say something else, but Dr. Olendzki walked in. Dimitri let go of my hand.

"Rose! You're up! That's wonderful. How do you feel?" She grabbed a folder from the end of my bed and Dimitri moved so that she could take his seat. I much preferred he sat there. "So?"

"I feel fine." I rolled my eyes.

She looked at me with a doubtful look. "Rose, if anything is wrong, you need to tell us. It won't help you get better." Her stare never wavered.

"Why do you keep asking? Did you find something with me? Last time I checked, which wasn't too long ago, I was perfectly fine." I felt very irritable.

Just then, my mother walked into the room. "Wow, it's a family reunion! All we're missing now is Lissa!" I shouted sarcastically. "Seriously guys, I'm fine." Lissa walked into the room bashfully and I started laughing.

"Hey Liss," she smiled, and a couple of tears rolled down her cheeks. She ran over to me and enveloped me in a strong hug I never thought possible for a Moroi.

"Rose! I'm so happy you're okay," She pulled back a little bit and smacked me on the arm playfully. "Don't ever leave me like that again!" She chastised me, but she looked too happy to pull it off.

I glared at Dimitri. "You hear that? Don't make me chase after you again. If you want to stop training me, there are easier ways than going Strigoi." Everyone laughed. Strangely, I felt tears stinging in my eyes. I meant it as a joke, but it really hit home.

"If anything, I think you should be training me now. How many molnija marks do you have now, anyways?" Strange he asked.

"Six," Dr. Olendzki answered absent mindedly.

"We're tied," I told Dimitri.

He shook his head. "We'll see."

Dr. Olendzki ordered everyone out, that I needed my rest. I rolled my eyes and protested, but everyone ganged up on me. When everyone left the room, I disconnected myself from all the stupid machines and found a stack of my clothes on the chair in the corner of the room. I slipped them on and tried to fabricate a plan to escape. I looked around and found only a couple of windows. Thankfully, the clinic is on the first floor of the building.

Using my old tactics, I chose the window with a tree close to it. Making sure to remain silent, I slowly opened the window. It squeaked only a little, but I winced every time it did. I only opened the window enough just to squeeze out of it. I slipped out and got a foothold on a tree branch. Before making another move, I made sure the voices outside my door were still talking; they were. I let out a sigh of relief and continued my small descent. I dropped from the branch as silently as I could.

I walked a few steps around the corner of the building. When I was out of sight of the entrance, I started walking towards my old dorm. "Hehe, suckers," I chuckled to myself.

"Some things never change." I jumped two feet into the air. My heart raced. Dimitri was leaning against the tree I'd just passed. Even with his height, he managed to look graceful.

"Jesus! Don't do that! You scared me half to death," I put my hand on my chest, trying to slow down my heart rate. "How'd you know I was out here?" I asked him, looking around to make sure the coast was clear. Classes were in session so students weren't outside.

He looked at me with those dark eyes. "Like I said, some things never change." He moved away from his spot against the tree. He had on his old leather coat that reminded me of cowboy dusters. He started walking in a different direction. He turned his head to look at me, so I assumed he wanted me to follow.

"You know, if you want me to follow you, you just have to say so," I mumbled as I ran to catch up with him.

It felt strange walking the familiar grounds again. I never thought I'd come back; in fact, I knew I wasn't coming back. The fresh layer of snow got the bottoms of my jeans wet, and I tried to focus on that. If I didn't, I'd probably end up leaping into his arms and start crying. I spent the last three months feeling absolutely nothing, with only Dimitri's demise in mind. Then, I wake up and everything comes back ten-fold. Dimitri is alive now, and my heart felt as if it would burst. Lissa didn't hate me, making me feel that much happier; my mother was there for me for the first time in my life.

I didn't realize where we were headed until I saw it. The cabin. I stopped.

Dimitri read my expression. "Don't worry, they were planning on letting you sleep peacefully for a few hours before going in to check on you. I knew you'd last about five minutes alone in there before you tried to escape." He smirked.

I folded my arms across my chest. "Am I seriously that predictable?" He opened the door and walked in.

"No, I just know you all too well." He shut the door behind me. I sat in the chair in the corner of the small room. Dimitri took the corresponding chair and pulled it over next to me.

"So what have you been up to while I was temporarily unconscious?" I asked as he sat down. I felt a very strong pull to do things I knew I shouldn't, but I refrained myself.

He kept a casual expression. "Trying to secure a job. I've decided to stay here for the next few months and then move to court." My heart dropped slightly. But then I remembered the words he said just before. "Lissa said she can wait." He smiled reassuringly at me.

I fidgeted with my fingers in my lap, trying to keep my hands occupied. "So they said I can just pick up where I left off?" He nodded. I managed a chuckle. "Well that's a relief. I'm just waiting for the famous Kirova irresponsibility speech. I imagine it will take place by tomorrow." I paused for a second, getting back on track and trying to organize my thoughts. "So you're staying here?"

"Until you finish. You still have much to learn." It might have only been me, but I heard double meaning. The awkward silence hung in the air for a while. He broke it first. "What else were you thinking when…?" He didn't have to say it.

I didn't meet his eyes. "I was thinking of how to accomplish my mission, trying to lay everything out in front of me; but you know me, that didn't quite work out. I just made up the plan as I went. I did have a plan until Lissa got there, and then I had to watch over her and follow you at the same time. I think I got a total of twenty hours of sleep during the duration of the expedition." Dimitri wasn't laughing.

I could tell the guilt was eating him up inside. Sympathy came along with it. "I can't imagine what that must have felt like for you. I am so sorry Roza," he looked like he was about to get down on both knees and beg for forgiveness.

"It's not your fault, so stop blaming yourself," I said with a little of the Rose bravado. Thinking better of it, I decided not to tell him the truth: I didn't feel anything. The entire time I felt completely numb.

"What are you thinking about? You have an odd look on your face." I glared at him and he chuckled.

"There's this one quote that kind of nagged at the back of my mind the entire time, but I never could actually make out the words until now." I admitted.

He had a sage look. "What was that?"

I tried to remember the exact words. "I think it's, 'Personal affection is a luxury you can have only after all your enemies are eliminated. Until then, everyone you love is a hostage, sapping your courage and corrupting your judgment.' It's from this one book I read called Empire by Orson Scott Card. It kind of adjusted my view on things." Dimitri was smiling. "What?" I snapped.

"I'm not sure what I'm more surprised about; the fact that you actually read the book or the fact that you remembered what was in it." He started to chuckle. I threw a pillow that was on the chair back at him. He knocked it out of the way.

"But seriously," he said, sobering up. "What were you feeling?"

That question hit home. "You don't want to know." I said to him.

"That answer always leads you to trouble later on, Rose. Tell me." He took my hand that was fidgeting with my fingers and held on tight.

For the first time in a while, I looked him straight in the eye. "I felt absolutely nothing," I felt tears well up in my eyes and my voice get thick. "When you left, I went numb. That's why I didn't stay when Lissa begged me to; all I could think about was keeping my promise. If I felt anything at all, it was pure misery. The very thought of having to go back without you nearly killed me. Don't even ask me what it felt like having to know it was me that had to kill me," I shook my head and chuckled darkly. "It was like I refused to think about the fact. I succeeded until after the deed was done. That's why I didn't get up. I couldn't. I couldn't feel anything. Not my body, my feelings, just nothing. I didn't know I was killing myself, I just didn't want to be anymore."

Dimitri abruptly stood in front of me. His hands squeezed mine hard, but not enough to hurt. His eyes were on fire. "Don't ever think that again. What happened to not wanting to die? Did that go out the window?" He was on the verge of shouting.

"That thought died along with you!" I shouted. "Everything died when you did! Everything that mattered in life just meant nothing! I couldn't find a reason to stay! And let me tell you, this is the first time I have ever cried about the accident. I couldn't even find a reason to cry! What would be the point of my tears? No one would see them! I was lying in the middle of a God damn ballroom in Russia with two dead strigoi! What would be the point of anything anymore? If you were in my position, would you be able to answer that question?" Many tears ran down my cheeks during my rant, but I did not sob. The sound effects were completely unnecessary.

I think I sat through ten seconds of silence before I jumped into his arms and started sobbing. "God, why did you leave me?" He squeezed me tightly and ran his hand over my hair. "I can't live without you. You should know that by now." In his arms, I felt as if the gaping hole in my chest was suddenly filled. The world suddenly felt right.

"I promise," He said thickly, "I will never ever leave you again. I don't think I can." He took a deep, shaky breath. "I love you."

I pulled back a little bit to look at him in the eyes. "I love you, too." His lips gently brushed mine, but the passion proved to be too much. His mouth was soon assaulting mine, and I had no problem with it. I held onto him like my life depended on him being here; and really, it did. Our heart and respiration rate picked up.

I didn't know we were heading for the bed until I fell backwards onto it. I couldn't get my clothes off fast enough, and neither could Dimitri. After being apart for so long, I don't think we could ever separate again. We seemed to be in an everglow of peace. Being together again made us feel whole. We needed to be connected in every way possible. He kept one arm firmly around my waist, and one hitched my thigh around to his back.

No words could ever describe what I felt when he was inside of me. When I tried to before, two words came to mind: utter completion. Nothing felt wrong or missing in the world. The experience was so life affirming. My heart, once so silent, started beating again, making its presence known. The black whole went away.

He rarely let my lips go. His hands seemed to be everywhere, and I loved every second of it. Electricity constantly flooded my body. Months of lifelessness left me so empty, but being with him made me feel like I was really here, not just a ghost of a body. My mind, body, and spirit made themselves known with every movement Dimitri made.

When our bodies were done, a feeling of bliss and peace washed over me. We held onto each other like we had no intentions of letting go. We whispered to each other, knowing that anything above a whisper would be too loud for the moment. I told him about Peter and his sister Catherine, about how Peter annoyed the hell out of me. He told me that, even as a soulless body, he felt a tug towards me, like I was significant not only to his mind, but to his body as well. I had to admit, that made me happy.

When he got up a while later, I knew why. People would soon discover I ditched and be out looking for me. I did not plan on having them find me naked in a bed with Dimitri. Can you say "awkward?"

Getting dressed after sex still seemed to be a problem between me and Dimitri. We both realized that getting dressed shouldn't be this hard, but we just laughed about it and kissed.

"Thank you," he told me when I was in his arms before leaving. I pulled back.

"For what?" I didn't know what I'd done.

"For coming after me. That's probably the bravest thing a person can do. I don't think I could ever thank you enough." He cupped my cheek with his hand and kissed me one last time before leaving our little getaway.

We made our way towards Kirova's office, where we knew everyone would be, frantically trying to figure out where I could possibly be. Being so close to each other but not being able to touch felt almost painful. We walked into Kirova's office and, low and behold, there stood Kirova, my mother, Dr. Olendzki, Lissa, and my old pal, Adrian.

"Hey guys," I said with a brief wave. They glared at me. "Nice to see you, too." I said sarcastically as I took a squat in a chair. "So what's the lecture about this time, Kirova?"

She dismissed my informalities and didn't dither. "Miss Hathaway, you seem to have a talent for escaping. First with Lissa, then with Dimitri, then you manage to escape the clinic." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as if a killer headache all of a sudden set in. "I don't know what to do to get you to behave. Guardian Belikov, what do you suggest?" She looked to Dimitri.

Before he could even get a word in, I threatened, "I killed you once, and by God I'll do it again if you even think about saying community service." I kept my finger pointed at him with a good warning glare on my face.

He kept a calm expression. "Okay, so would you rather stay in classes all day and remove extra training sessions so you can catch up, or would you rather spend an hour every Sunday helping at the chapel?" He folded his arms across his chest in a way that said, "If you can find another way out of this, then enlighten me." I sighed and lowered my pointing finger.

"Fine." I gave in with a scowl. With all these community service hours I have on my belt, I could get a fifteen thousand dollar scholarship to Northwestern.

Kirova sat back in her chair and relaxed a little, knowing that once again, the wild beast was on a chain. My mother was the one who spoke next, and I really wished she would've kept her mouth shut.

"Why did you leave Rose? I understand that you two were close, but I never imagined you going to such extremes? The only other case I've heard of that's similar to this is of Sonya and Mikhail. But they were…" she trailed off. My stomach fell to the floor next to my feet. My mother's head snapped up and looked from me to Dimitri several times.

Oh, shit.