Dean woke up around 6:30 to the sight of a pair of big blue eyes. "Hey," he said with a smile. "How long've you been awake?"

"Dean."

Dean lifted his head and saw his dad standing in the doorway.

"Hey, Dad." He didn't think about what his dad probably thought of the situation, because it was Cas and so what if they were sleeping in the same bed and Dean had his arm around Cas? But when he took in the look on John's face he realized what it must look like and turned a little red. "Uh…this is Cas. He's a friend from school. He was helping me out with homework last night and we lost track of time…" He sat up and cleared his throat. Cas did the same. "We're not…I mean…we're friends."

John gave Dean a stern gaze, but eventually said, "I've got some breakfast downstairs. Plenty for another guy."

"Thanks," Dean said as John turned and left.

"Is he mad?" Cas asked quietly.

"Nah," Dean said dismissively. "He was just surprised." In truth, Dean wasn't sure—sometimes it was hard to judge whether John was angry or not. He rolled out of bed and turned on the overhead light. "We can stop by your house so you can get some clothes. If Sam's not already in the bathroom, you can go in first."


Dean's dad had gotten donuts and Cas ate his as they drove back into town. Once at his house, Cas hurried to find some clothes. He grabbed a jacket and changed into a pair of jeans, brushed his teeth, grabbed his bag, and rushed back out.

"You think you can just wear my clothes whenever you want?" Dean asked as Cas slid back into the passenger seat.

He glanced down and realized he'd left on the AC/DC shirt. "Oh—I—"

"Dude. Kidding."

"Right."

After they dropped Sam off, Cas turned to Dean and asked, "People won't know this is your shirt, will they?" He was pretty sure he hadn't seen Dean wear it yet, but he wasn't sure. "They'd give you so much shit—"

Dean surprised him by saying, "So? I don't care what they think. You shouldn't either. You're wearing my shirt. So what. Don't girls wear each others' clothes all the time?"

Cas frowned. He should've just remembered to change shirts.

"You should come to lunch today," Dean told him, getting out of the car.

Cas followed the suit and said, "The school's food is gross."

Dean shrugged. "It's pizza today—I've been told that's decent."

Cas snorted. "By who, Gabriel? You could pour the grease from it into a cup and drink it."

Dean frowned. "You should still come."

Cas chewed his lip in thought. "Maybe."

When lunch rolled around, Cas stood outside the cafeteria doors for at least five minutes, debating. In the end, he turned and went to wait lunch out in the restrooms.


In the two weeks that followed, Dean got closer with Anna, Gabe, and Balthazar, and he liked to think with Cas, too, but sometimes he really wasn't sure. His blue-eyed friend still didn't come to lunch and Dean was starting to accept that maybe it just wasn't his thing. Most days, Cas came over after school—except for when his dad was home, which Dean never asked about, though he was curious.

And so Friday night, Cas was over, Sam was hanging out with Jess, and later he'd spend the night at Andy's. John had picked up another case a couple days ago and was two states over.

"Cas, this is the weirdest show I've ever seen."

"It's a classic," Cas said from beside him on the couch.

"I thought you said classic who was the stuff in the sixties—this is the modern one."

Cas threw a couple pieces of popcorn at him. "Shut up."

A few minutes later, Dean said, "You know, I think your hair is actually crazier than this guy's."

Cas threw more popcorn at him. "Matt Smith has excellent hair."

Dean shrugged. "The ginger's pretty cute."

"Amy."

"What?"

"Amy Pond."

"Right."

They bickered as per usual, and Cas even got Dean to do a little bit of reading for historical lit.

After Dean showed off his freezer food cooking skills, the two boys sprawled out on the living room floor, some crime show playing low on the TV.

"So, Castiel Novak. I think it's time I found out more about you."

Cas rolled his eyes. "You know plenty."

"Yeah, I know little things. But I don't know what the big picture is."

"The big picture is made up of little things," Cas said.

"Shut up. You know what I mean. Like…what's your dad do?"

Cas shrugged. "He works for some big company. I…I actually don't really know. He travels a lot and he's strict."

"You two don't get along," Dean guessed.

That was one way to put it. "No, I suppose not."

"Okay, what about the rest of your family. Aunts, uncles, grandparents…"

"I don't…" Castiel sighed in frustration. He didn't talk about his family. He didn't think about his family. "I don't really know them that well. Or…I didn't really know anyone outside of my immediate family. When my parents were married, it wasn't approved, I guess, and so they cut contact. At least that's what I've gathered." He frowned in thought. He usually didn't say this much, but it was Dean, and Dean deserved to know some of what had happened in the convoluted town of Caelum. Cas righted himself. "I…my mother died in a car accident when I was five. So did my twin."

Dean's mouth fell open and he sat up. "You had a twin?"

"Yes. Jimmy." He smiled fondly on his few and vague memories. "I don't remember much, but I remember he loved hamburgers. He was a tiny little thing and he could eat a massive burger all on his own."

"Wow. A twin."

"Yeah. When they…after they died, my father went downhill fast. With Anna's mom, he was a little better, but you wouldn't have known unless you'd already been living with him for years. After they divorced, he got worse again." Cas looked down at his and Dean's legs, his own crossed and opposite of him while Dean's were stretched out, obviously relaxed.

"What's your dad like?"

"Not fatherly."

"You…when I found you beat up and was going to take you home…you sounded kind of scared. Cas, does he—"

"No," Cas snapped. "He does his thing, I do mine. Our…personalities clash."

"Then why do you always stay home when he's home?" Dean questioned.

"Like I said, he's strict."

Dean didn't look like he believed him, but he let it slide. "So. You had a twin. Were you identical?"

"Yes," Cas said. "We were very different, but we did look the same. I know there's some pictures somewhere."

"You should show me sometime. Maybe I could come over this weekend."

"My father's getting back later tonight."

"Okay, so maybe next weekend." He turned his head to look at the clock on the wall. "You should probably get home then. It's almost ten. C'mon."

They drove back in a comfortable silence, but as they pulled into the Novaks' driveway, Dean asked, "What about your mom? What was she like?"

Cas took his hand from where it was resting on the door handle. "She was everything good," he started. "I remember her hair was the exact color of chocolate and when she was in the sun you could see red in it. She had these big blue eyes that sparkled all the time and she was always smiling. Not big and cheesy, but small smiles. And they were contagious. I remember when we'd go to the grocery store and the cashiers would always look bored or tired or like they were having a bad day, but after she went through the line, she'd always leave them with a smile."

Dean's lips turned up at the corners. "My mom had blue eyes too." He didn't say anything else and Cas didn't push, but he didn't get out of the car either.

The moment morphed into something else and for once Cas just went with it. He'd just told Dean more than he'd told anyone in years and maybe that clouded his judgment, but maybe it didn't. So when he leaned in towards Dean and the other boy moved closer, Cas didn't think about rejection. Dean wasn't pulling away, so Cas couldn't possibly be reading the situation wrong.

And when their lips met, Cas just wanted to melt into Dean and stay there forever. He felt a warmth that he could barely remember ever feeling before and everything was just so nice and he for a few glorious moments, Cas stopped thinking about having to keep a carefully constructed blank mask on, he didn't think about staying void of emotion, he let himself—but nothing good ever stayed for Cas.

Dean pulled abruptly away. "Shit."

Cas immediately realized his mistake and all but ran out of the car. Stupid. What had he been thinking? He hadn't been, that was the problem. Stupid. He ruined everything. Anything remotely good always ended up going directly to hell. Don't pass go, don't collect two hundred dollars.

Dean didn't try to stop him.

Cas supposed he was lucky he didn't get kicked out.


Shit.

Dean didn't know how else to react. Cas had just kissed him, for God's sake. And you kissed him back.

Shit.

By the time Dean's senses came back, Cas had already flown out of the car and disappeared into the house.

How had that even happened?

For several minutes, he just kept his car parked in the driveway, trying to process the situation. How had he not seen that coming? How long had it been coming for?

Dean found himself at an utter loss and before he even fully realized what he was doing, he was dialing Anna's number. It only rang once before her voice sounded from the other end of the line.

"Dean?"

"Can I come over?" he blurted out.

"Yeah—what's going on?"

"I don't even know what happened," he blabbed. "I had Cas over and then I was taking him home and we got talking about his twin and then we started talking about our parents and it got really quiet and then he just kissed me and then I think I reacted badly and he ran inside and—"

"Get over here," she said. "Just come inside when you get here."

And that's exactly what Dean did.

"Did I really mess up?"

Dean wasn't sure if Anna's eyes were stern or scrutinizing or both. They were sitting on her bed in the empty house—her mom was visiting her sister out of town—and Dean had just finished explaining what had happened.

"This isn't your fault," she said decidedly. "But you shouldn't have…" She pressed her lips together, unsure of how to say what she was thinking. "You have to be careful with Cas. And especially after he told you about Jimmy. That's something he never mentions and if he felt comfortable enough with you to even bring it up, then you can pretty much guarantee that he trusts you."

"But I don't like guys!" Dean said a little too loud. "I mean—I'm straight, I didn't know that…"

Anna raised a delicate red eyebrow. "As far as I knew, Cas was straight too. But so what? Do you like him?"

"No. I mean, I don't think so." He groaned. "I don't know."

A carefully evaluated idea flickered across Anna's face and she leaned forward, bringing her lips to Dean's. Dean's was surprised by the kiss and even more when Anna's tongue pushed into his mouth, but it wasn't unpleasant, so Dean returned it.

Anna pushed him onto his back and shifted so her knees were straddling his hips. The intense make-out session lasted only a few minutes before Anna pulled away and sat up.

"Where'd that come from?" Dean asked, moving so he was leaning back on his elbows.

"You know, most guys would've been trying to get into my pants by that time."

Dean frowned. "You do this often?"

Anna rolled her eyes. "No, jackass. But did you want to?"

He opened his mouth, but wasn't sure what to say—anything would sound offensive at this point.

"You didn't," she answered for him. "And when I stopped, you just let me go."

Dean frowned. He was starting to see where she was going with this and he didn't know what to think. In fact, he found himself trying not to think about what it meant.

"I get that you might be a little freaked right now, but you need to see Cas. Asap. Before he does anything rash."

Dean sat up straighter and dragged his hand down his face. "Son of a bitch. What am I supposed to say?"

Anna tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "You tell me. Or rather, you tell him."