"And do you remember any…other details" a voice droned on. Quinn sighs as she rolled her eyes and shifted in on the sofa. Three weeks, she had been forced to endure three weeks of useless counseling from a man whose voice could put Sue Sylvester to sleep.
"I already told you this yesterday, I don't remember anything else about the party" she said in frustration as the man hummed and jotted down something on his notepad.
"Right, and if you remember the party, do you not remember your emotional reaction?" he droned on.
Quinn huffed, "I'll tell you for the third time now, and Rachel showed me a picture of us at the party. I remembered Santana calling me, and I remember Rachel coming in and being happy to see me, but that is all. I can only remember the outside events, not the internal ones like what I was thinking or feeling."
"You would thing that with the recent development of your memories that you would have uncovered some emotions from the past Mrs. Berry" he started but stopped when he notice Quinn stiffen, "my apologizes, Ms. Fabray" he said only continuing when the blonde's tension relaxed, "one would think that you would remember at least a fragment of your love for your wife…if you felt as strongly as you should have".
Quinn's head whipped around to her therapist, her jaw clenching, "and what does that comment mean?" she hissed.
"Oh nothing Ms. Fabray, I was mealy stating the fact that if your love for your wife was a true and powerful as Mrs. Berry had described, there would have been some recognition. It would not surprise me if you found that you hadn't actually developed feelings for your said wife in the past, you probably had a mistress on the side…" he rambled on completely unaware of Quinn's growing anger.
"You…you think I was cheating on my w…Rachel?!" she growled out, her fist clenching along with her jaw.
"It would be the most obvious possibility…" the man started to ramble, but stopped short when the boiling blonde stormed out of the room, "Ms…Ms. Fabray! You still have thirty minutes left!" he yelled after her.
Quinn was so angry she couldn't think, she bolted out the door, not even realizing that Rachel and Santana had jumped up to follow her. "Quinn…?" Rachel said softly after the blonde had finally stopped outside of the building, pacing furiously, "baby what happened?"
"Stop! Just stop calling me pet names, stop following me around, and stop trying to help! It isn't working ok?!" Quinn yelled as she turned on the advancing pair. Quinn could barely stomach the look of hurt that flashed across the diva's face in that instant. She turned away and literally ran across the street, thankful that the therapist was so close to Central Park. She ran until she came across a bench sitting under a willow tree by a pond and she sat down, putting her head in her hands.
Ten minutes later, she felt the bench dip with added weight, and if it had not been for a very familiar scent that the breeze blew her way, she would have been very snappy with the stranger that had invaded her space.
"That was a pretty bitch move" Santana as she shifted her weight on the bench until she was comfortable.
"She shouldn't have called me baby" Quinn sneered half-heartedly as she kept her head in her hands.
"Well, at least we know the Ice Queen got her HBIC back with her memory loss…" Santana said, letting the end trail off.
"Like you aren't just as much of a bitch as I am" Quinn shot back, lifting her head to glare at the Latina beside her.
"No, I'm more of a bitch then you will even be, I don't try and hide my emotions and shit. I don't run at the first sign of things getting bad like the pussy stunt you just pulled back there" Santana nodded her head back toward the office, most people wouldn't dare test Quinn's temper but this was her best friend and tough love was always their specialty.
"Fuck you Lopez" Quinn hissed as she stood up, intent on walking away.
"See, you're doing it right now!" Santana yelled after her as she stood up as well, making the blonde freeze in her movements. "What is it you are so afraid of Q? Because I don't get it, you have a great job with plenty of money, a wife that is about to be in a Broadway musical, a house that you share with your two best friends, a family…."
"I don't deserve it!" Quinn suddenly screamed turning on the Latina and getting up in her face, "I don't deserve my house, or you, or Brit, or my job, and especially not Rachel!" Quinn punctuated each item with a poke to the brunette's chest.
When Santana didn't say anything Quinn threw her hands up, "what San? No smart ass fucking comment about me being a pansy?! Well yah no what, fine! I'm a coward alright! I'm not trying to remember my life from before, because I know I don't have the right to that life, and I'm so fucking scared that if I do move past the fact that I don't deserve you guys, I'm going to actually be happy! So yes, call me a coward, call me a pansy or a pussy, or what the fuck ever you want to call me, because it's true!" she said, her voice breaking as sobs ripped thought her chest, "I'm so god damn scared I can't sleep or eat or even breath sometimes because I don't deserve any of it" she sobbed out as she collapsed to her knees
Santana was completely shell-shocked as watched her friend cry, she had known this girl all her life, longer then Brittney even, yet she had never seen her this broken before in her life. Slowly she sunk down to her knees and she cradled the paler body against her own, the tears cascading down onto her shirt in waterfalls. The Latina felt tears of her own start to slip down her cheeks as she rocked the pair softly, the pain that Quinn was feeling was so strong Santana could feel it crashing into her like waves.
"I can't do this San" Quinn said softly after the crying had been reduced to shaky breaths.
"Yes you can babe, you just have to have a little faith in yourself" Santana said back just as softly as she kissed Quinn's forehead lightly.
"But what if really try and I can't remember everything?" Quinn asked her voice so small it resembled a child's.
"Then we can work from there, Tiny loves you regardless" Santana said with a sad chuckle, "it's sickening really how in love you were"
Quinn flinch, "my therapist seems to think I cheated on Rachel, he thinks our love must not have been that important or I would have remembered by now…"
"That dick said what?! That's it, I don't give a damn what the hospital said, you're going to go to my mom's friend starting next week ok?" Santana said as she squeezed the girl lightly.
"Ok" Quinn breathed before she pouted lightly, "can we go back to the house now, my head hurts"
"Yeah Q, you know, it might do you some good to sleep in your old room…" Santana tried but when Quinn shook her head she sighed, "still too soon?"
"Yeah S, I mean, I still feel weird sleeping in the same bed with Rachel like that" Quinn said shyly as she moved to stand.
"Alright, to the guest room you shall go" Santana sighed as she smiled at Quinn warmly.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Back in Lima, Ohio, the phone rang at the Fabray residence. Judy answered the phone and called for Russel when the man on the other side asked for him. The eldest Fabray was in his office and he picked up the extra landline on his desk with a grunt, "Russel Fabray how may I help you?". He felt his mouth twitch into a sinister smirk as the man on the other line began to relay information.
"Yes doctor Hilson, you have been a great help…..she ran out? Turned on the wife now did she? Oh that is wonderful news, I believe Quinnie is in need of a visit back home, don't you think? Oh trust me, you will receive your payment once she is back in this house. I let her slip out of my reach once, but not this time, ….of course I will not forget our agreement, you will get your portion of the funds, oh and do keep up with the mind-breaking will you? She isn't going to give me that money willingly, I want her as easy to break as I can get her…. "
(So my riot is at the end of this chapter, for those of you that have read this before, I am truly sorry that I have not updated this in forever. Whenever you have a set of homophobic parents it is somewhat complicated to try and write a story with lesbian characters. Also, I've been loaded down with school work, and my job, senior year is a pain in the ass as of right now. Once again I am terribly sorry. If you would not mind, reviews are appreciated)
