Protecting Me

Disclaimer:
As always, I own nothing.

Rating:
T

Genre:
Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Pairing(s):
[past/abusive] Stony
ScienceHusbands (Tony/Bruce)

Lyrics Used:
Kristina DeBarge "Future Love"

Author's Note:
I know this update has been slow in coming and I sincerely apologize. But, with the holidays coming up, my work schedule's been pretty full. They're definitely workin' us a lot harder the next couple months. Anyway, I just wanna give a HUGE thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, followed this story-whatever! If you like this story, this thanks goes out to you! Your support really does fuel me as a writer. I love every bit of it.

Also, I just wanna let everyone know, that this chapter's going to skip ahead just little bit. I feel like it's starting to get a little repetetive. So, I'm moving foward a little to [SPOILER] Bruce admitting his feelings for Tony. [END SPOILER]


Future Love

Baby, if they ask me | I would say | I don't even know your name | And, when they ask me | Does it change | No it don't change a thing | 'Cause there's something about the way you love me | There's just somethin' about the way you know me | And, I can't explain enough | There's just somethin' 'bout our future love | Future love | Future love | Future love | Somethin' 'bout our future love | Future love | Future love | Future love

After leaving Tony's room, I followed the length of the hallway until I found the empty bedroom Natasha had dragged Barton into. "Okay, seriously, Nat, what the hell gives?!" Barton demanded, staring angrily at Agent Romanov who-to her credit-kept her face very level and showed no sign of any anger at the way she was being treated at all.

Instead of responding to Barton's demand, Natasha just turned to me when I walked in. "Bruce." She greeted, flatly. "What exactly did you mean when you said that Stark's been being physically abused?" She asked. Her voice was void of any emotion, whatsoever.

"Abused?!" Barton chimed in. Sadly, he was not as adept at hiding his emotions as was his female counterpart. "Dr. Banner, just what in the hell is going on around here?!" Barton's upset-clearly-and, frankly, the man has every right to be. I'm sure he'll be absolutely livid at what I'm about to tell them.

Gesturing toward the bed as I figure it would be best if the assassains were sitting down for this news, I asked "Why don't you both have a seat?" When I only received two skeptical glances as response, I added "It's a fairly long story." That seemed to placate the two spies as they crossed the room to sit on the foot of the bed. Natasha just demurely crossed her legs as she interlaced her fingers over the outer knee. Barton, meanwhile, just sat with his feet shoulder width apart as he rested his hands on his knees-his posture tense. Drawing a deep breath, I decide to just go for it. They need to know what Tony's been dealing with in their absence.

"Look, you guys...a lot of things have changed while you were gone." I began, pausing slightly, trying to figure out how to best word what I have to say. "I'm sure you've noticed Tony and Rogers' fights getting more and more heated, recently, am I right?" I asked.

Natasha merely nodded her agreement. Barton interjected with "Yeah. So? They're a couple-have been for a while, now. Couples fight. That's all part of the package."

"Not the way they were doing it!" I snapped. I paused, again, to compose myself before continuing. "Look, Rogers has been throwing around some pretty damn crazy accusations, lately-namely, accusing Tony of cheating on him with me of all people!"

"That's ridiculous." Natasha spoke up for the first time since I began my story. "I know Stark has a bit of a reputation for being a playboy." She conceded. "But, if he wanted to sleep around, he wouldn't have started a monogamous relationship with Rogers." The red-head reasoned. "Besides, even if Tony were one for infidelity, Bruce isn't." She glanced over at Barton as she said this. "Even if Stark wanted to cheat with Bruce, Bruce is too good a man to allow it. He would never let Stark cheat on anyone." She finished, looking back up at me.

"You're absolutely right about that, Natasha, I wouldn't have." I admitted. As much as I want to be with Tony, I want to do it, right. I don't want to just be some dirty little secret he runs around with when Rogers-or anyone else, for that matter-can't give him his jollies. "But, that's not the worst of it." I sighed, as I pinched the bridge of my nose before adding "The other night, I overheard Tony and Rogers fighting and I thought I also heard something that sounded like a slap. When I went to see if everything was all right, I approached their bedroom when I definitely heard soemthing that sounded like a punch and loud 'thud'. When I walked in, I saw Tony lying on the floor, cradling his eye." I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop my voice from trembling as I recalled the way I had found Tony that awful night.

"THAT BASTARD!" Barton roared, jumping to his feet. "Where the hell is he?! I'll fucking kill him!" Just as quickly as he had risen, Natasha was on her feet, her hands on his shoulders, as she stared into his eyes.

"Clint. Clint!" She said, her voice calm and level. "Don't do that. Don't make this any worse for Stark than it already is. If you hunt Rogers down, you're only gonna piss him off and he'll just go after Tony even more." She reasoned with Barton as he slowly calmed down.

"Actually, Natasha, hunting Rogers down would be fairly pointless, now." I interjected as she slowly turned to face me once Clint had calmed himself.

"What do you mean, Bruce?" She asked, curiously, her arms loosely folded across her chest.

"Well, you see...After I broke up the fight between Tony and Rogers, I took Tony into my room to sleep there for the rest of the night..." I began, recalling the night of the fight. "Anyway, when we got up that morning, Tony went to take a shower while I went back into his and Rogers' room to get him some clothes when I noticed...All of Rogers' things were missing."

"You're saying he packed up and left?" Natasha, questioned, Not accusing, just fishing for information. "You think he's gone for good?" She asked.

"I'm sure he'd come back if S.H.I.E.L.D. ever summoned him, but, as far as coming back for Tony, I seriously doubt it." I explained. "When I took Tony from the room, he yelled down the hallway that nobody else would ever want Tony."

"I swear to God..." Clint seethed. I could tell he was almost as angry about this as I was. Almost. "If I ever get my hands on that loathsome son of a bitch..."

"Don't." Natasha warned. "We can't afford to think like that, Clint." She told him, her hand on his shoulder. "I'm just as outraged by this as you are. But, Tony's our friend. And, he needs us, right now." She reasoned. Natasha was right. I mean, I'm doing everything I can for Tony. But, he needs all the support he can get. "Now, I can tell Bruce has bent over backward to be there for Tony. But, he's just one man. Tony needs all of us, right now. He needs as many friends as he can get to get him through this. Recovering from something like this won't be easy for him. We all have to help him and be there for him."

Barton sighed. He knew she was right. She always was. As much as he wanted vengeance against the super soldier, he knew Tony needed him more. His posture relaxed slightly. "What can I do?"

Smiling slightly at the support, I replied "I don't think there's any one answer to that." I admitted. "I think all any of us can do is just keep an eye on Tony. If it looks like he needs someone, just be there. Let him lean on you if he needs to. Be a shoulder to cry on if that's what he needs. Just go with whatever feels right." I explained. There really was no one instruction I could give them. But, I trusted them. I trusted their judgments.

Six months. That was how long it had been since Rogers walked out on Tony. To his credit, Tony had made tremendous progress in that amount of time. He stopped asking me to stay with him a couple of months ago. He was smiling-even laughing-more. He was back to working on his suits. He was sparring with Barton in the gym. Thor had stopped by a few times-the first time he visited from Asgard after 'The Fight', I had brought him up to speed on Tony's abuse. He had been equally outraged as Barton had been when he learned of what had transpired between Tony and Rogers. He had also agreed to support Tony in whatever way he could. Tony and I had also continued to grow closer.

But, as much as things were beginning to feel like normal again, I could tell Tony still suffered from low self-esteem. It haunted him and I hated it. Tonight was another one of those nights. Clint had taken Natasha out to dinner. We all knew they were seeing each other, even though they had tried to hide it at first-mostly out regard for Tony's feelings. I know Tony's happy for them-I know he is-but, I can tell he's also conflicted about the new development. To his mind, their budding relaionship represents everything he's ever wanted and will never have. Tonight, his lack of self-esteem was hitting him pretty hard.

"You okay?" I asked as I moved to stand next to him as he looked out the window in the living room. Tony looked visibly deflated. He was completely stripped of his characteristic snark and bravado. Completely open and vulnerable. Part of me just wanted to hold him in my arms-whispering in his ear that everything would be okay and that he was anything but worthless-and never let him go. But, the more sensible part of me told me to just hold back and let Tony come to me if and when he was ready.

"I'm fine." Was the bristled response I received. Tony was trying so hard to put his walls back up-to protect himself. When will he realize he doesn't have to protect himself?! When will he realize that's why I'm here?! I wondered, desperately.

With a gentle hand on his shoulder-which he stopped flinching at a month or so after 'The Fight'-I added "Tony, look at me." I spoke softly, trying to coax whatever was bothering Tony out into the open. "It's me, Bruce. I'm only here to help."

Sighing heavily, Tony looked back out the window before speaking again. "It's just...I'm happy for Clint and Natasha-really, I am." He turned back to me for the last bit. We all knew it was true, but, he still felt the need to reiterate it. "It's just...It's got me thinking..." He began, ominously. I can almost sense where he's going with this. "What if...What if Steve was right?" He asked. I was about to reply when he spoke again. "I mean...What they have...That...loving...understanding...passionate...supportive...Relationship...That's what I've always wanted most in life. Someone that I know will always be there for me...Always pick me up when I fall...Love me even when I don't always make it easy...Everything that Clint and Natasha have is everything that I want." Finally, he turned to me with a sad desperation in his tortured brown eyes. "What if I never find it? What if Steve really was the best I could do?"

My heart went out to Tony as he unloaded everything that was bothering him. But, I couldn't help feeling slightly frustrated knowing that everything he was describing was everything I was trying to give him. Somewhere, deep inside of me, I just wanted to yell and scream and do whatever it took to open Tony's eyes to what was right in front of him. But, I knew that would only make things worse. Instead, I just gently cupped his face in my hands, looking right in his eyes as I did so. "Tony, listen to me. You are smart, kind, loving, loyal, generous...You have everything and so much more to offer a man. Any man would be damn lucky to have a man like you to love him. Any man that can't see that in you isn't worth your time or energy. And, I promise-I swear to you...There is a man out there for you that will recognize all of those wonderful qualities in you. And, he will do everything you just talked about for you and he will bend over backward to make you happy. He will do anything-be anything-just to see you smile." I knew I had best stop before I said too much.

"How can you possibly know that?" He asked me, desperately. His eyes were so sad and pleading. I had to figure out a way to make him as sure of this as I was. I searched my mind for something that would comfort Tony without overwhelming him. Unfortunately, the words were out of my mouth before I even knew it. "Because I'm that guy, Tony! I love you!"

For a moment, Tony and I fell into a...not entirely uncomfortable silence. Tony was staring into my eyes-almost as if he were searching for something. I didn't know what he was doing, but, I never broke the stare. Whatever was going on, Tony looked like he needed to know he had my undivided attention. The next thing I knew, I felt Tony's lips on mine. Oh God, does this feel amazing. My eyes slid closed as I wrapped my arms around Tony's neck and waist, pulling him in closer as I lost myself in the kiss. No. No, this isn't right. I can't take advantage of him like this. Making up my mind, I raised my hands to Tony's chest as I pushed him away gently. "Tony, I-I can't. I'm sorry."

Looking up into Tony's tortured brown eyes, I saw the pain of rejection written clearly in them as he just stared at me for a moment. "I'm...I'm-I'm sorry. I just thought...I-I thought...Maybe-" I can't let him suffer like this. It isn't that I'm not interested-far from it. I just want to be sure he wants this as much as I do. Cutting him off, I just gently placed an index finger over his lips-effectively silencing him.

"No, Tony. It's not what you think." I began, making sure to look him straight in the eye so he would know I meant every word I was saying. "Believe me-I want to." I added. God, did I want to! "I just...I don't want to take advantage of you. I need you to be sure you want this as much as I do." I replied, gently stroking his cheek with my thumb."