A.N. Thanks for reviewing! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Inuyasha.
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(Tsuki)
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My Bitter Romance
Chapter Seven
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(Tsuki)
The third night he had been driven to receding to the first floor by the obnoxious wails that belonged to an even more obnoxious person, he found Rin down there. She had been in the middle of eating.
He did not need his sight to know that it was something sweet. If now were anything like past experiences, she probably had had a glass of honey sweetened milk in front of her to down a plate of chocolate chip cookies or tiramisu or a hearty slice of strawberry cheese cake…Perhaps even all three.
Whenever she was even the slightest bit depressed she indulged in sweets. It was a wonder she was not morbidly obese by now, he mused to himself, not unkindly, but with true incredulity.
She had obviously been surprised to find anyone still awake.
And in a quiet tone she confided in him, seeking understanding. Her problem that night had been Inuyasha. She could not for the life of her comprehend why he kept working in a place that he hated when she was confident that he would be happier if he just chose a job here.
Sesshoumaru had furrowed his brows, vaguely listening, vaguely responsive as he encased her in the hug he knew she needed, gave her the speech he knew she needed to hear, and sent her to bed.
He too was mildly curious about that as well but he had other questions already on the foreground of his mind.
His mind was so preoccupied by the question of why he was in this mess. What had led up to this outcome?
He wondered why she had seated her self on his curb.
Why Keys had made it top priority to head towards her…
Why he had spoken to her…
There were so many questions as to why everything had started.
But the real question was now that he knew the story of Kagome's diagnosis…Why wouldn't she wake up?
He had been Pre-Med in college and minored in Psychology and Human Studies. And the portion of him which knew Human Studies like the back of his hands could not help but wonder if there was something he could be doing. If there was some trauma keeping her comatose.
But after the accident… he had simply repressed his desires for human connection. The same people he would end up curing would turn around and cause some one else misery. Wasn't that inevitable.
That had been the case with him. He had spent his summer interning at a hospital the year before he graduated. He had done a surgery elective and assisted on a complicated liver transplant.
And all for what?
For that same man to around and drink himself into a senseless stupor and cause the accident that took his sight?
No…There was no reason to save anyone's life. They were only going to lose them anyway, due to their stupidity or someone else's…
Truly it was all inevitable.
Keys crept into the kitchen. Sesshoumaru was still in the same position as he was when he had spoken to Rin. A glance at the clock would tell him that that was over ten minutes ago.
Sesshoumaru bent down and stroked Key's ears before rising and slowly making him way to the living room.
It was strange being blind.
It was like forever being stuck in a dark room.
But Sesshoumaru had always had a heightened sense of awareness. He knew the layout of his house too well to need sometimes even Keys. In his home though..
It was only being outside that really brought the stark realization of his handicap.
And it staggered him. The fact that he was nearly useless one he stepped outside these walls. His pride ached at that. That for once he was not fully independent.
But it was only now that he was approached by these feelings. After the accident, the subject itself had become something almost completely taboo. No one had spoken of it. Arrangements for him had been arranged and once that had been done, nothing else had really occurred. He had stopped his medical practices and studies, he refused to learn Braille. It was as if everything were at a stand still.
He rubbed his temples. He had a photographic memory so his texts were still fresh in his mind and his hands still remembered the procedures he had practiced…
Yet…that only raised the question of so what?
Sesshoumaru got something to drink and headed back to his room. He stood in front of the door, listening. Keys had followed but was docilely waiting for what he would do, watching for a response.
He put a hand on the door knob.
This self-ineptness he suddenly felt…Would it perhaps leave with her departure? After all, it had arrived with her. So maybe—
And once he took a step in, he was suddenly overcome by a cool feeling. It were as if her despair had taken upon tangibility in the form of temperature.
He squashed the urge to shiver as he left his door open only long enough for Keyes to enter before he shut the door.
As he listened to her sniveling for a bit, he had to wonder if he had made the proper decision. She was quite …irritating to put it lightly.
With a suppressed yawn, he exited. He would deal with her tomorrow after he had gotten some sleep. Right now he was too weary to boast patience.
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(Tsuki)
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Sesshoumaru, for once, slept in. But for him that merely meant sleeping until seven thirty—an hour before he normally woke up. He was vaguely conscious of Inuyasha poking him in the ribs asking why he was on the couch in the first place when he had a perfectly good bed upstairs.
He distinctly remembered, though, making a mental note to maim his brother for said action of touching his person.
Rin had told Inuyasha to leave Sesshoumaru alone before she had trotted off to school with a quick kiss on both brothers' forehead's good bye.
He faintly heard the sound of the TV being turned on. There was the sound of Inuyasha plopping down on one of the other living room couches.
He turned straight to the news.
"—fire which led to the hospitalization of two firemen after their heroic evacuation of two children that had been still been in the building. The children are doing fine and the firemen are in stable condition so far, but we'll keep you with any changes."
A male voice chimed, "Thank you Yuka." He paused, "On a separate note, several media stations are being sued for the hospitalization of former Sakura Blossoms actress, Kagome Higurashi by the Ichiroku School District. She was recently admitted after suffering from a major asthma attack after literally being chased by paparazzi and other entertainment organizations."
Sesshoumaru could not help from be thrown awake at the sound of the name.
"As some of you may recall, Higurashi-san had been a rising child actor here in Japan, until the death of her father, son of the late operatic singer and actress Sasura Higurashi, Ryuu Higurashi, when she suddenly disappeared from J-media. Apparently she had been working overseas, until now. But in regards to her hospitalization, her family still has no desire to talk to any media personnel at the moment."
Sesshoumaru sat up slowly.
Inuyasha let out a low whistle, "Jeeze…Those guys get crazier everyday." He frowned abruptly.
Ichiroku?
"Hey, isn't that this district?" He addressed Sesshoumaru when he noticed he had woken up, "Did that just happen at Rin's school?"
His brother nodded, knowing Inuyasha would see the action.
"Man…Did Rin know her?"
Sesshoumaru smiled wryly, "They were acquainted."
There was a lengthy stretch of silence and Sesshoumaru rose. Inuyasha called out his name, causing the elder brother to pause.
"How are things here?" Inuyasha nervously plucked at the decorative frills on the edges of a throw pillow he was sitting next to.
Sesshoumaru mused over the question before bluntly saying, "Rin misses you."
After a moment, Inuyasha chuckled uneasily, "Just Rin? I'm not going to get some fervent, passionate admission that my big bro misses me too?"
The man snorted as he exited the room, "I find no merit in not telling the truth."
Inuyasha called after him sarcastically, "I've never felt so loved." He frowned and turned back to the TV and turned up the volume.
The news report had long since shifted to sports, but he paid no attention to that. He let out a dejected sigh.
Of course he liked it here…
Of course he wanted to move back here permanently. But Sesshoumaru had gone through a lot already. If his presence here would further irritate the man, or worse, he wasn't even wanted, then he would rather try and deal with Naraku.
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(Tsuki)
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Sesshoumaru walked up to his room, contemplating the new information he had received. Basically there had been a deceased father, a grandmother who had been in show business, and an enigmatic hiatus.
And besides that…
Former Sakura Blossoms actress. The past tense was clearly stressed there.
The work he had done in psychology teased him the back of his mind. It made him wonder if she had perhaps been different before.
He picked out a random set of clothing and hurriedly exited. He did not want to deal with her until he had showered and at least had some coffee.
An hour passed before he eventually decided to brave the contents of his room. Keys did not accompany him this time and as soon as he fully stepped into the room he heard her voice.
"I'm getting the feeling that you've been avoiding me, you know."
"That's because I have," he drawled.
Kagome pouted a bit and looked him over, "I don't see why you would go to all that trouble when you know you're the only one I can talk to. I think I'm getting cabin fever all cramped in here."
Sesshoumaru snorted, "Clearly you've never had the privilege of hearing yourself sleep, if you have to question my deliberate evasion."
"Hear myself sleep…? Is that even possible," she gave a condescending snort of her own. She smirked when she saw Sesshoumaru scowl and gave a snide heave of her shoulders, "Besides, I can't be that bad…what did I do? Breathe too loudly? Or have I suddenly taken up snoring?"
Sesshoumaru scowl did not dislodge itself from his handsome features, "No…you aren't bad, my apologies." Kagome was about to let a victorious smile grace her lips, until he continued. "Atrocious is a better suiting word," he burred out. "You wail like a banshee. Snoring would be heaven compared to the bawling that have taken over my nights."
Kagome lost her haughty attitude and her face took on a look of alarm, "What do you mean?" Her eyes narrowed and she turned away from him, "No. Don't answer that. Perhaps in addition to being blind, you're going senile. I don't cry in my sleep…"
Sesshoumaru moved to where his desk was and pulled out his chair before taking a seat. He leaned forward in the chair, "I'm curious…Which is it that hurts more? Your failed acting career or your father's death."
Brown eyes widened and her head snapped back in his direction, "W-what?"
"If I had to guess, I would assume that it was your acting career. You appear too self-absorbed to care at all about any other person's existence but your own." He propped an elbow on his knee and leaned his chin into his palm. A small smile was teasing his lips, "It seems even feasible, that your career was failed from the start, and no matter who your grandmother had been, you had no natural talent of your own. So you quickly used your father's passing as a shield for you to disappear behind. No you didn't leave due to any fault of your own. You were too crushed that he died, right?"
Abruptly Sesshoumaru felt something connect harshly with his cheek. His hand rose slowly and touched the area.
He had been slapped….?
A thin arm was still extended from when she struck him. Her hand shook with rage. "How dare you! What do you even know? You weren't even there!" Kagome ground out angrily. She slunk to the ground and hugged her knees, "H-how could you even begin to know…?"
Kagome had risen from the bed and slapped him.
Sesshoumaru's brows furrowed. His cheek was still ablaze from the contact.
He had undoubtedly felt that…But how?
Sesshoumaru for the first time in awhile, had a craving for his sight.
The girl in his room was not supposed to be a corporeal being…and yet he had without a doubt had felt her.
It made him have a slight yearning to see what he was dealing with so he could possible get an answer to that.
"How is it that you were able to hit me?" He proposed out loud.
Kagome did not leave her position, "I don't know and even if I did I wouldn't tell you. I don't want to hear your voice right now."
Sesshoumaru sneered, "It is alright for you to mock my handicap and yet if I verbally retaliate then suddenly we have ourselves a double standard. That's almost humorous."
"My father—"
"Is a sensitive subject for you, I assume. As was this accident. Yet you bring it up anytime you feel the least bit vulnerable around me, with the knowledge that it's a taboo subject."
Kagome hugged herself tighter under the accusation. "… I do do that, don't I?"
Sesshoumaru suddenly dropped the cool tone, and in a velvet murmur, he questioned, "What happened with your father?"
Kagome looked up at him…
No one had really brought him up after he died.
So sometimes he was hard to remember…
But now, it was a recollection, so vivid and committed to memory….
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(Tsuki)
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The year Kagome's grandmother died, she had been five years old. Sasura Higurashi, age seventy, a recently retired operatic soloist and actor who had made the dramatic genre her own. She had retired at the age of fifty five, only performing during charity productions and the like.
She visited her son's family as much as she could every year, and although Kagome had never seen the woman act in person, she could tell that everything about the woman was agreeably mystifying.
She had a very theatrical dress. Her hair was thick and fell slightly below her shoulders. The once raven locks were a powdery color, in the days when Kagome had seen her. She had grown out her bangs so that they touched her cheeks and always parted her hair in the center.
She dressed always in something colorful and had a love for feathers and make up.
So when the woman passed away, it was actually Kagome who unconsciously desired to keep the woman's memory alive.
"Tell me a story about grandma, Pa-chan."
And every night for a month he told her a different story, enthusiastically recounting his mother's accomplishments.
"Do you think I could ever be like grandma was?"
"I believe you could be anything you want Kagome…But grandma sacrificed a lot to get where she did…"
And I'm not sure if you could do it.
Hadn't that been what he was thinking?
And that thought struck Kagome hard.
"If I try as hard…and I could make sacrifices…I just want to make you smile like you do when you talk about grandma."
He had laughed then and hugged her, murmuring softly to himself how ridiculous that was.
And after a week and coaxing both parents, her father transferred her to an art's school. He enrolled her in different theatrical and visual art based weekend classes, hoping she would find an interest of her own.
"Kagome-chan what do you love doing the most?" He decided to ask her one day.
And he was surprised to hear, "Acting…I love it! I never knew what it was until my class with Himori-sensei and it was amazing, Pa-chan!"
She hated singing, unlike his mother, and was more for into slice-of-life, realistic acting, which was the exact opposite of Sasura's forte.
Ryuu let out a sigh and patted his daughter's head. "So you and Sasura will be distinguishable after all," he mused.
Why did he sound so disappointed?
Did she need to try harder to become like her grandmother? And so for the next four years she did. And to some degree, it had paid off. She was commercially recognized.
But…She had assumed that something her father had never meant for her to think.
She had misunderstood the entire time.
When she had asked, "Do you think I could ever be like grandma was?"
"I believe you could be anything you want Kagome…But grandma sacrificed a lot to get where she did…"
The undertone to his answer was… "And I don't want to see you lose your childhood like she did. I know that was something she regretted and I never want that to happen with you…"
And he never felt disappointment…not when it came to his family…He never could or would have said that his children or wife had ever caused him discontent. He loved them all differently and uniquely at the same time. That was the reason he had called her notion ridiculous. What Kagome hadn't noticed was that he smiled differently for each of his loved ones. She never would that smile aimed at her because he was too busy casting her the smile that always graced his face when he was with her…
When he said, "So you and Sasura will be distinguishable after all…"
He felt pure relief. I want people to recognize my Kagome-chan for the wonder that she is. Mother was mother and Kagome is Kagome. There should be no overlap.
There were a lot of misunderstandings in their relationship.
Although Kagome knew that he loved her, and that he had moments where he was proud of her, she although felt as if she were secretly disappointing him.
Kagome had researched everything she could about her grandmother. What movies or plays she had been in, what she liked to sing…things her father never told her.
And she eventually had the chance to prove herself against her grandmother, by auditioning for the same play Sasora had been in when she was her age.
They were doing a modern remake of it and she auditioned and waited with baited breath for the results.
The night before her father had died, they found out that she had been rejected from the lead role she had auditioned for.
Kagome pleaded with her father to call to see if there was a mistake and he had complied. Mrs. Higurashi had assured her that there was probably a good reason for the rejection and not to take it to heart.
But that had been impossible.
Souta started crying upstairs just as Mr. Higurashi was able to find someone to speak to.
Kagome instantaneously volunteered to see what was troubling the young boy. She had been too nervous to stay in the room so she had needed a distraction.
But when she came down almost ten minutes later she heard the slamming down of their house phone and her father yelling.
He fumed. "Is he trying to shame our entire family? That bastard doesn't know what he's talking about." With a grumble he added, "Mother would roll over in her grave several times over if she knew something like this happened!"
Kagome felt her world shatter…Had he really wanted her to get that role?
Was he this livid that she hadn't?
She rushed back upstairs… How could she face him now?!
Mrs. Higurashi tried to quiet her husband, "Dear, calm down…Kagome could be down any moment and I don't want you scaring her by yelling."
Ryuu scowled, "It's hard to be calm when that man keeps calling me with threats to spread to the press that I was Sasora's illegitimate child."
After he finished with the call to the Auditioning Studios, he had almost a second later received another call.
This one though had not been as positive as the other.
Mrs. Higurashi wrapped her arms around him, "Please don't let that upset you…That story won't hold that much water. You would not show up as having any relation to Sasora-san were they to do a blood test, and there are records that show you were lawfully adopted."
"That type of blackmail is disgusting! It's the fact that he's trying to disgrace a woman that I truly considered a mother…She had enough pain and turmoil while she was living, I wish she could at least just rest in her afterlife!"
His wife planted a kiss on his cheeks, "The fact that she knew she had such a devoted son lets her rest peacefully, Ryuu. She were more than she could have asked for and she knew it! Now hurry up and tell Kagome the good news about the role. She seemed so sad, she definitely needs to know the truth."
Ryuu smiled and started to leave…
Right…Kagome without doubt deserved to know…He was not disappointed that she got denied. He was actually glad she had been, because he realized people would have easily made the connection and automatically assumed she got the role, solely because of Sasora.
And he was too prideful of his little girl to let that happen.
The producer knew that too. He personally had known Sasora and he said she would have wanted her granddaughter to branch away from the angst filled character roles and dramatic plots she undertook. He rejected her out of respect for his late friend, not because she was under-qualified.
"In fact…" the man had said, "from a professional outlook, I'm pretty pissed at myself for letting her go. She would have been perfect…"
Yes. Kagome definitely needed to hear that.
But he never made it out the door…
Ryuu suffered from a chronic heart condition. The built up stress from worrying about the disquieting slander threats had caused him to have a stroke.
He was hospitalized that night for the stroke and suffered from a fatal heart attack the next day.
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"It was my fault he died… I locked myself in my room afterward and for a few weeks, just memorized my grandmother. I watched everything she had been in that I could find and studied her character."
She had stopped hugging her knees at some point during her story telling. They had fallen over limply and lay across the ground. Her arms had continued to hugs her torso, though.
"I felt like I couldn't get rid of my guilt, until I was perfectly like my grandmother when she was on stage. And then I left to live with my mother's aunt and started my career anew, basically as my grandmother's theater clone."
She laughed wryly. "But that didn't matter in the states, since no one I knew, knew anything about Japanese acting icons."
"It's almost funny, but if my grandmother never existence…or if she had never touched the stage, right now I wouldn't have a personality. I can't even remember not being that woman's shadow…"
She stood abruptly and dusted herself off, "What of you? It's only fair to ask the same question back at you. How did you lose your sight?"
There was a moment of stretched silence, before Sesshoumaru answered, "Car collision. A drunk driver hit our car hard enough to spiral it off the road and apparently when an airbag deploys, the compartment flings off which enough force to cause blindness. If it's faulty enough to hit a person that is."
Kagome returned to the bed and took a seat. "Was your attitude before or after the accident?"
There was a scoff, "A demeanor such as this would take years of development…"
Kagome suddenly laughed, feeling lighter than she had in awhile.
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(Tsuki)
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That afternoon after lunch, Sesshoumaru requested that Inuyasha do him a favor. Inuyasha rubbed the back of his head, "A favor…uh, sure. I guess I don't mind. What's up?"
"I want you to rent out a few movies."
Inuyasha awkwardly shifted his weight onto his right foot and gave Sesshoumaru a searching glance as he pursed his lips in thought. Now how was he supposed to respond to this…?
Did Sesshoumaru forget what movies were? Inuyasha opened his mouth to say something, but immediately snapped it close at once.
After a moment he merely said, "Sure. What did you need?"
Sesshoumaru handed him a few bills, "As many films as they have on Sasora Higurashi."
Inuyasha took the money, surprised to find fifty dollars there in twenties and a ten. However, decided not to question his brother. Perhaps he was doing it for Rin or something.
Sesshoumaru never did anything if there wasn't a reason behind it, so he decided to just go with it.
Besides, he could ask the younger girl later. She was currently doing her homework at the moment. Without another word, Inuyasha left to do what had been requested of him.
It had taken him half an hour to get to the rental store, get all twenty films and return. He found his brother waiting on the couch with Rin and his questions all slipped out of mind.
Inuyasha handed two bags over to his sister with a grin, "Have fun with those. Apparently some aren't even in color. They were just recently re-released as DVDs."
Rin grimaced, "Black and white? Then I'll really need popcorn. Want to watch them with us Inuyasha?"
She grabbed his arm in a way that said, 'you're joining us whether you like it or not.'
Inuyasha gave her a defeated look, "As if I could say no when you have my arm under lock down…"
Rin cheered, "Come on! Let's hurry and make the three of us some popcorn."
Keys, who had been napping in the corner, since he had been up last night with Sesshoumaru, picked up on the excitement and bounded up to his master and nipped at his pants.
Sesshoumaru absent-mindedly pet the dog.
His mind was stuck on the story he heard earlier as his siblings returned with two large bowls of popcorn and three bottles of water.
As Rin set up the first DVD, he had to wonder what exactly he was looking to prove. Inuyasha read the summary out loud, trying to appear nonchalant, but Sesshoumaru immediately knew he was doing it for his benefit.
It was a movie about young woman who falls in love with the son of the woman her father was about to marry. The storyline basically follows the main character, Sasura, and the man that although she had no blood relation to, she cannot be with.
But he was not interested in the plot. Through out the entire movie he did nothing but pay attention to Sasura, and it was like hearing Kagome speaking.
Granted the woman in the movie spoke slightly noticeable but undeterminable regional accent, the similarities between the two were hard to ignore.
It made him wonder… who then was she suppressing underneath the guise of Sasura Higurashi?
It made him curious to see the real Kagome Higurashi…not that shadow she had devised out of her inferiority complex, but the person beneath.
He leaned back into the couch and let the rest of the movie wash over him.
Yes. He was very so curious…
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(Tsuki)
A.N. Woo! This was over four thousand, five hundred words! I am very proud of my self for that lol. That was the objective (well, 4k was technically the goal) I sent out for each chapter that I dished out today so I'm glad I got this one to meet it.
Okay so the italicized stuff later in the chapter was all the stuff Kagome didn't get. The stuff that really happened back then, but she misunderstood. Which is pretty sad, since she's so messed up because of those misconceptions….
But at least things are kinda progressing between her and Sesshoumaru….in a way. He's not avoiding anymore her at least lol…
Well see you guys in the next chapter!
R&R
