Disclaimer: RWBY is the legal property of RoosterTeeth
AN: The fairy tales I am referencing in this chapter are a combination of actual ones from our world, and some offhandedly mentioned in the RWBYverse. For all of the ones from our side of the dimension, I am referencing mostly their originals darker versions, so the 'Brothers Grimm', 'Hans Christian Anderson', or anything similar.
Ruby Rose
"Our favourite… fairy tale?" Ruby asked, tilting her head to one side in mild perplexity.
"It's what it says Ruby." Velvet replied, showing them the message from Ozpin himself on her scroll. It was a brief and professional message, signed with his official signature and everything at the bottom. Although the seemingly fiendish 'wink' emoticon that ended the message felt incredibly misplaced, immediately calling into question their headmaster's maturity and dedication to his job.
"Marvellous, just marvellous; of all things to get as a theme, we get stuck with children's tales!" Weiss exclaimed in apparent frustration.
"Oh c'mon Ice Queen, it'll be fun. For once in your life you could maybe bring joy into a child's life." Yang teased.
"Silence you dolt! I don-"
"I have to agree with Yang about this Weiss." The other blonde interrupted, raising his hands appeasingly in an attempt to quell the heiress' frustrations. "It's a theme we can utilize quite easily, while also marketable, which could bolster attendance numbers exponentially. " Most of them nodded in agreement at the strategically sound argument, surprisingly presented by none other than the room's secondary resident blonde, Jaune Arc.
"Oooh, oooh, I agree with Jaune!" Ruby chimed in cheerfully. "Plus, we have all the necessary talents to present a fairy tale in the best way possible!"
All members of the room looked at each other inquiringly, wondering what could possibly be going through the young rose's thoughts, whose mind could produce and process ideas at such a rapid-fire pace.
When none went to answer her high-spirited assertion, Ruby sought to enlighten these foolish mortals about the truth of the world. "The best method of presenting a fairy tale is with, A PLAY!" She placed one foot on the coffee table, exclaiming the good news to her fellow artisans with overflowing conviction.
"A play? As in a theatre production?" The Ice Queen questioned sceptically.
Ruby nodded her head excitedly at Weiss' prodding. "I mean if you think about it, it makes total sense. After all, fairy tales are best presented dynamically rather than statically, especially if we're trying to attract a crowd!"
They all shared brief nods and words of discussion, before returning to the young rose in overwhelming agreement with her suggestion. Ruby beamed in excitement at the support her new friends were giving her, fighting back yips of joy to remain composed in front of them. 'I'm a big girl now. I have to present myself as a mature leader.'
Unbeknownst to Ruby herself, the rest of the group could clearly see the obvious joy building up beneath her rather stiff expression. They all (yes, including Weiss) silently agreed that the girl's leadership was rather endearing, acting as a definite sight for sore eyes.
"So Red Leader, what are your orders? We would be honoured to follow you to the ends of Remnant and back! Viva la Ruby!" The Valkyrie exclaimed with mock military formality, presenting a quick salute to their newly elected leader.
"I'm also quite curious Ruby. You mentioned that we had all the necessary skills and talents to pull this off, so where should we begin?" Blake asked curiously, pulling out a notepad from what was basically thin air (somehow) to record any of their newly appointed leader's antics.
"To begin Weiss and I can be in charge of set and costume design. I'll deal with the initial sketches and finishing touches, while Weiss can paint and design, since she's participating in the Design Program and all." The heiress nodded understandingly at the plan in surprising tameness, albeit the subtle 'hmmph' that preceded her agreement kept her icy image alive and well.
"While Nora," the ginger-haired incarnation of lightning and thunder saluted, "will be the one in charge of building and creating our designs, bringing our imaginations into reality. She'll also be our resident sound and light engineer on the day of the event, adding a practical touch to our plans." The Valkyrie looked excited to show off her mechanical skills, going as far as to pull out a sledgehammer prematurely, tapping it rhythmically on the palm of her other hand, all the while grinning from ear to ear.
"Umm Ruby, I don't think Nora can do all that alone." Ren interposed concernedly for his ginger-haired companion.
"Awww Ren, so you do care." Nora hugged the raven-haired male tightly, causing everyone else in the room to cringe at the cracking sounds they could hear as a result of the Valkyrie's physical display of affection.
"Hmm, you're absolutely right Ren. Nora, I, Ruby Rose, your elected commanding officer, hereby grant you the ability to conscript anyone available to help you in your cause if need be, train them and use them as you wish!" She decreed commandingly, donning the atmosphere of a veteran general.
Ren, who was recovering from having his bones crushed, gave her a thankful, albeit shaky thumb up from the floor.
"Ren, from henceforth I grant thee the title and occupation of director! You shall be working with Blake Belladonna on topic of writing, alongside Yang on acting and casting. Jaune and Pyrrha, I leave you two in charge choreography and music, I trust that you will cooperate with the director for maximum UNITY!"
Ren and Blake shared a silent acknowledging look, exuding an atmosphere of common tranquility, at least until Yang came between them and pulled them into an awkward three-man hug. Pyrrha and Jaune shared a laugh at the eccentric trio, before turning to each other to rap knuckles good-humouredly at their newfound partnership.
The young rose playfully saluted the group, as she called upon her inner totalitarian to present her best Goodwitch impression. "Tomorrow we shall reconvene to begin working, the rest of the day is yours! You are all dismissed!" She began walking off towards the bed rooms, eager for a well-earned rest from all her hard work.
"Ruby." Velvet called.
The rose stopped in her tracks. "Yes Velvet?" She turned to face her pasta-loving, mostly benevolent senior.
"Aren't you forgetting something?"
"Uhh, I don't think so?" Ruby titled her head slightly, perplexed by the question.
"Something very important?" The senior continued prodding.
A look of realization dawned on Ruby's face, as she turned to confidently put her senior's worries to rest. "It's okay Velvet, I won't forget to brush my teeth."
The entire room was floored by her response. Faces were palmed, jaws were dropped, and Weiss cringed so hard that she risked chipping a tooth. They were all bewildered (bar Yang, who had teased Ruby to no end about her contrasting personality traits) by the dichotomy in personality traits that Ruby displayed on a regular basis. On one hand, she was incredibly child-like, while on the other, she was undoubtedly a respectable leader to their little band of rabble-rousers.
"No you dolt! She's talking about the fact that we haven't decided on a fairy tale to do yet. Are you aware of this? Furthermore, why would your senior of all people even concern herself about your personal hygiene of all things?"
Ruby realised that in all her excitement, she forgot about the metaphorical elephant in the room (albeit she wished it was literal), the fairy tale itself. She swiftly turned around, sheepishly scratching the back of her head as her face began to flush, while in the corner of her eye Yang was laughing herself silly. '…I'm never going to live this down, am I?'
Pyrrha Nikos
After pointing out Ruby's minor blunder (it wasn't so minor to Ruby), Velvet had briefly instructed them that they needed to have a detailed proposal sent in to the headmaster by three days, before leaving quite contently for her dorm room. She promised to be as available as possible during these first two weeks, encouraging the freshmen to contact her with any questions, concerns, or qualms that they may have during the year.
The young rose was feeling the full weight of humiliation at her premature finish, searching for any source of comfort to assist in rebuilding her dignity. She was currently being cradled affectionately in Yang's arms, as a not-so subtle blush had taken residence on her cheeks. Whether it was due to the embarrassment caused by her actions or by her current position, remained to be seen by the rest of the group.
Since Ruby had remained…incapacitated, Jaune had since taken over the meeting.
"Now that everyone is comfortable, let's finish off today by choosing our favourite fairy tale" Jaune exclaimed animatedly. The atmosphere in the room was quite jolly, displayed by the excited smiles of everyone in the group (yes, including Weiss).
"So does anybody have any suggestions?" The blonde ringleader looked around the room interestedly, while a familiar ravenette had somehow commandeered a white board (out of Oum knows where) for their use. Blake curtly scribbled 'Brainstorming' on the board with a solid black marker, cutely adorning the letter 'a' with small cat ears (whose significance went unnoticed by everyone but the Faunus herself).
Yang was the first to have her hand up (her free hand of course, the other still coddling Ruby). "Oooh, oooh, we can totally do 'Goldilocks and the Three Bears'."
Blake quickly noted the two suggestions on the board, fighting the strong urge to roll her eyes at the blonde's obvious feelings of camaraderie with the tale's somewhat dubious protagonist (don't try to argue otherwise, a person who enters your home on a whim to sleep and eat on your property is undoubtedly 'dubious').
"How about 'The Frog Prince'?"
"I didn't peg you for a romanticist Nora." Pyrrha stated with hints of surprise in her voice.
"E-ehe-eee, I'm not Pyrrha. I'm just a really, really big fan of the version where the princess gets to throw the frog to the wall with all her might to break the curse. I think it's kinda sweet what people are willing to do for the ones they love you know?"
They all shared a hearty chuckle at the Valkyrie's statement, as all of them knew full well (it's been less than a day) how physical Nora could get with her displays of affection. Blake amusedly added another suggestion to the board, embellishing it with the doodle of a somewhat flattened frog.
"I for one suggest 'The Little Match-Seller'." The heiress expressed vehemently.
"Danggggg Weiss, that's dark…" Yang stated, as the rest of the room looked at the heiress quite worriedly.
"What? Urgghh, fine then, how about 'The Little Mermaid'."
The group continued to look at the heiress worriedly, unsure of how to approach her on her choice of rather grim-ending fairy tales. "Since the event will be open to the public of all ages, perhaps we can change the ending to a happier one? Maybe use the 'Dizney' ending instead?" Jaune suggested as a compromise. He gave a nod towards Blake, who reluctantly added the two new suggestions to the board, scribbling a small warning note beside their titles.
"You must've had a pretty dark childhood…" Lie Ren muttered quietly, while Nora solemnly nodded beside him.
The heiress seemed satisfied at her suggestions being taken into consideration, although the somewhat apprehensive glances she received for the rest of the night were quite unnerving for her.
Following the awkward silence caused by the heiress' somewhat dark suggestions, the room gradually rebounded into a heated free-for-all of suggestions. Story titles were being thrown left, right, and centre, pushing a certain ravenette's cat-like reflexes to the limit, as she struggled to transcribe everything onto the board.
"Remember 'The Tale of Two Brothers'?"
"That's not bad Pyrrha, but it's no fun. OMIGOSH, RennyRennyRenny, REN, we have to do the 'The Emperor's New Clothes'!"
"Oh no, we're not subjecting anybody to anybody's birthday suit!"
"You're no fun Weiss. I for one thought that was an amazing idea Nora!" The excitable bombshell and thunderbolt shared a hearty high five, while Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose in vexation at the pair's shenanigans.
"Hmmm, what about 'The Girl in the Tower'?"
"Maybe, perhaps another classic, like 'Snow White' or 'Red Riding Hood'?" Jaune suggested offhandedly.
"Well we got a regular 'Snow Angel' over there, plus an adorable red hooded trouble maker is right here." Yang teased, rubbing her sister's head affectionately, much to the girl's chagrin.
"HEY!"
"Yeah, what Ice Queen said…" Ruby stated meekly from Yang's lap, slowly recovering her dignity.
"Jaune, do you remember 'The Shallow Sea'?"
"Oh man Pyrrha, that brings up a lot of nostalgia, my older sisters must've told me that story a bajillion times growing up." The blonde male smiled sentimentally at the familiar memories. "But there was another that stuck with me for some reason. Hmm, what was it again… Oh yeah, do you still remember 'The Story of the Seasons'?"
"Jaune, I can't believe you know that story. My mother and I love that story. It's an old one that my Nan used to share with me continuously as a child. It's certainly nice to know that I'm not the only one." The dancer and the musician shared a laugh at the somewhat odd commonality in their history.
"Hey, sorry to interrupt the reminiscing a pair of aged kindred souls, but what's 'The Story of Seasons'?" Yang asked quizzically.
The pair of 'aged kindred souls' turned to each other, then back towards the group, where they were met with more than one curious soul. Apparently most, if not none of the others have ever heard 'The Story of Seasons', the pair shared an excited look.
"Well Ms. Nikos, would you like the honours of elaborating?" Jaune asked playfully.
"Why I would be honoured Mr. Arc, although some assistance would be nice."
"Together?"
"I see why not. Shall we?" Pyrrha winked impishly at her newly christened partner in crime.
"Ladies first." Jaune replied coyly, only to be met by a lively push from the lady in question.
"Ahem. Ladies and Gentleman, Arc productions are proud to present the 'The Story of Seasons', interpreted by yours truly and narrated by the beautiful Pyrrha Nikos!" The pianist blushed at her partner's introduction, but commanded the attention of everyone in the room with practice ease, as they pulled up chairs to listen to her tale.
"A callous old man who refuses to leave his home is visited by four traveling sisters. The first understands his reclusive nature, and urges him to use his time in solitude to reflect and meditate." She pushed Jaune gently into a sitting position, while the blonde closed his eyes meditatively in response, following in unison with the story.
"The second brings him fruits and flowers, tending to his crops and revitalizing his garden." The pianist brought imaginary fruit to the blonde's mouth, who with the roll of his eyes, bashfully went along with her playful actions by chomping on thin air.
"The third warms the man's heart, convincing him to step outside and embrace the world around him." Surprising Pyrrha, Jaune stood up and pulled her into an embrace, leading her in a small dance around their impromptu stage, which elicited no shortage of hoots from their audience. The moved in unison, some moves controlled equally by the two, while others led entirely by the more experienced blonde. She was released after one final spin, albeit still somewhat stunned by the blonde's shift in demeanour, she continued her tale with practiced ease.
"And the fourth and final sister begs him to look at all he has and be thankful." She subtly smiled at the blonde beside her, and at the newfound friends in front of her, whom she was all very grateful for. "In return for their kindness, the man grants the maidens incredible powers so that they may continue to help others all over the world. They graciously accept and promise to share their gifts with the people of Remnant until the end of days. Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall, 'The Four Maidens'."
The room was silent for a moment before bursting into friendly cheers and timely applause, as the two story tellers returned to centre stage to mockingly bow at their impromptu audience.
'I am so doing this again sometime…' Pyrrha felt delight in her recent performance; it was the most she's ever had performing since…well since her first. She turned to smile at her blonde partner, who was more than eager to return it in spades. Even if it was only between friends, even if it was her last time performing with the blonde, it was a memory she would cherish for probably a lifetime, and hoped it was only a taste of the good memories to come. After all, the best things in life are made in very good company.
Ruby Rose
The group came to a quick consensus about their chosen fairy tale. It wasn't an agreed compromise over preferences or anything of the sort kind of deal, as everyone in the room was quite headstrong in one form or another. It was just after the little stunt pulled by the Jaune and Pyrrha, none of them felt the need to look elsewhere for inspiration, as they all felt a subtle connection to the story. Whether it was the performance or the story itself, none of it really mattered, the tale just felt alive to those who bore witness to it. Even Ruby herself recovered quickly enough to enjoy performance, pumping her small fist into the air in excitement at the conclusion of their little show.
Hence, they all agreed and moved on, preparing for a well-earned rest at the end of a long day. At least they would've, if the group wasn't so prone to commotion.
There sat one Ruby Rose in the kitchen, drinking a glass of milk (which Blake had brought in during her trip to Vale earlier today). She sat amusedly watching a trio of gold, white, and orange, all grown adults (supposedly), argue about bedding arrangements. The room after all, only had two and a half bedrooms, where the 'half' was actually supposed to be used as a work station, but could hold beds if need be.
"Me and Renny have been together since forever ago. I have to be in same room as him!"
"Absolutely not Nora, it's inconceivably licentious. Do you forget that you two are of the opposite gender?"
"But we're not even together-together Weiss!"
"That gives you even less reason to be together then. It's final. Ruby, Yang, and Blake will share a room. We'll move two beds into the work station for the guys, and I'll share a room with Pyrrha."
"Oh be quiet Weiss, you just want 'Cereal Girl' to yourself. So who's actually the lewd one here?" Yang probed suggestively, eliciting deep blushes from everyone who in the room. It was needless to say that those with creative talents have a more active imagination that those without...
"Retract your accusation this instant Xiao Long. I just felt that I needed a more spacious room for my paints, easels, and such." The Ice Queen cried on defensively.
"So you admit that your intentions for this settlement were less than genuine." The blonde raised her eyebrows with a victorious smirk.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
The room remained silent before the ice cracked. "Well played Xiao Long. Fine, we'll do it your way." Weiss threw her hands up in the air wearily, as the bombshell and thunderbolt shared another hearty high five.
"Alright everyone, choose a partner. Whoever you touch first is your chosen roommate, then you'll group with another pair, so four to a room, capisce? On my count, drag em'. 1…"
'Maybe if I pick Weiss, we'll become better friends as room buddies. A total step-up from just being roommates, alright I just have to grab Weiss.' The young rose thought with her less than stellar social reasoning.
"2…" Everyone in the room readied themselves, assuming crouched positions like that of a veteran sprinter.
"GO!" The room descended into chaos as a blur of colours ran towards each other, mostly away from each other, reminiscent of prey running from predator.
The first victim was Ren, who in a desperate fight for survival tried to calm Nora down, only for her to slam into him at a speed that would've crushed lesser men.
Weiss attempted to reach Pyrrha, using a set of acrobatic moves that would've put most hunters to shame, before utilizing one final leap to dive for her goal. She was so very close… only for a red blur to grab her midflight, tackling her onto the ground 'affectionately'. She was so very close, and yet so far.
Yang bought Blake's allegiance by holding the latter's tuna supply hostage, to which they agreed to some very specific terms about sleeping together in the same room.
Pyrrha simply walked around the red and white sprawl, giving Jaune a friendly pat on the back as they were the last two who were unpaired, while they shared a look at the odd sight in front of them.
Yang had proceeded to walk over to her sister, who was sprawled on top of Weiss, after their midair collision (to the latter's utter dismay), in an awkward heap. She then began dragging the rose by the scuff of her red hood, while the heiress was placed on top of the blonde's shoulder like a bag of potatoes, as she flailed wildly with vicious protests spewing from her mouth concerning her current mode of transportation.
'I don't feel so good…' The young rose thought meekly as she felt the ground dragged beneath her. 'But at least I got Weiss,' she thought optimistically, as she took a small peek at the heiress diagonally above her. Oh and was she furious, discharging vicious insults that were uncharacteristic of the usually uptight heiress, all the while displaying glares that would've frozen Grimm solid at the mere sight of her. For the umpteenth time in her, Ruby wasn't sure whether or not she had made a good decision. 'Oh well, at least this couldn't get any worse…'
Jaune and Pyrrha watched as the group of four entered their room, believing that at that point peace would be given unto all of man. An idea that was completely shattered shortly thereafter, as the yelling of a certain shrill heiress threatened to break every piece of glass in all of Remnant…
Omake 2: So you think you can Dance?
Jaune Arc (Earlier today…)
Jaune Arc was many things, he was a dancer, a blossoming musician (or so he believed), a ladies man (or so he wished to be), and an all-around nice guy (or so he was told). Perhaps he wasn't the brightest Christmas light of the bunch, but neither was he the only dud in the box. So he was a little rough around the edges, but hey, who wasn't? But today, oh today, he felt like an idiot.
So let's rewind the narrative a bit shall we? How could poor ol' Jaune Arc have come to this conclusion about his intelligence? What could have caused this young man to spiral down to such self-deprecating assessments of his personal value? Well it actually only began a few minutes ago.
As casual banter was thrown left, right, and centre within their dorm room, Jaune found himself in conversation with an interesting lady, the nice and quirky kind. Yes, he was in conversation with Ruby Rose, who was at the moment spouting off stories at a speed that would put a minigun to shame. The young rose was bouncing up and down, telling tales excitedly about her art, family, and a long list of antics that would've given most saints headaches.
'Pity to any man or woman who bears witness to the rose on caffeine…'
The two repeated their interaction cyclically for some time. Ruby spoke excitedly, and Jaune would nod and laugh awkwardly at the girl's adorableness. It was nice and completely peaceful, at least until the rose asked him a certain question.
"Hey Jaune, do you think you could teach me to dance?"
The blonde thought it was such a random thing to ask initially, but the pleading eyes Ruby displayed brushed off any (if not all) hesitation for Jaune to share his craft. "Umm, I probably could, but if you don't mind me asking, what made you ask?"
"Well…." The girl was clearly anxious about something, as she twiddled her thumbs together while her eyes darted from side to side rapidly. "Let's just say I never really learnt how to. I mean I got some moves, just not a lot of them…"
"It would be an honour then to teach you some dance moves."
"Really?" Ruby replied hopefully.
"Of course, an Arc never goes back on his word. Why don't you show me some dance moves and we'll go from there?" The blonde stated confidently. In hindsight, he should've never promised anything without knowing all the facts in every situation.
Yang Xiao Long
"Hey Yang, I don't mean to be rude, but doesn't Ruby look a little off to you?" Blake stated with growing concern in her amber eyes.
"…" The blonde bombshell sighed out wearily at the sight of her sister.
The rose in question had begun to dance elatedly on a table, pulling out moves that haven't seen the light of day since their dad's time here at Beacon. This caused infinite discomfort for Jaune Arc (Advanced Job: Dancer), who stoically watched Ruby's outdated dance routine in abject horror, displaying the look of a man who was recently abandoned to the Grimm by Oum himself.
The girl's dance moves began to grow increasingly dated by the second, bringing the room into further shock and bewilderment. Ruby started in a slight squatting position, shifting her weight forward and backwards, side to side, occasionally bringing her feet together for a lateral hop (See: MC Hammer – U Can't Touch This), before twirling and repeating the process. She then transitioned smoothly into an upright position, tilting her chin downwards. As one knee was raised slightly on her upright toes, Ruby began gliding back and forth on the table with surprising fluidity (See: Michael Jackson – Billie Jean), continuing for a full minute. In the next moment, the young rose performed a graceful spin, transitioning into a loose stance which erupted into a set of jerky movements, utilizing the rhythmic movements of her arms, hips, and legs to sashay from side to side (See: Rufus Thomas – Do The Funky Chicken).
"YANG! STOP HER ALREADY!" Multiple voices screamed pleadingly at the fiery blonde, begging her to prevent further horrors from being released upon the room by the red rose. But the blonde could only stand frozen at the sight, growing increasingly hypnotized by calamity unfolding before her.
It wasn't long before they all sat in abject horror at the sight, mesmerized by unusually malevolent chaos that had befallen their band of misfits, unable to turn away, and unable to escape for the rest of eternity…
BAD END
AN: Is this Omake canon? Well sort of, you'll find out more later.
Good day again, ladies and gents. I have come to bring you another chapter and some news, both good and bad to some degree. But before we get to them, let's discuss some things about the story shall we?
One, last chapter (if you read the AN) I mentioned that I showed a subtle trait of Velvet's, some of you probably cracked it already, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. As you might know, Velvet is a somewhat timid character (in canon anyway), although she's a very capable person, I feel that she's the type of person that wouldn't really know how to initially interact with people depending on their individual social practices/customs. If you noticed how Velvet addressed people last chapter, you would notice that she calls everyone by their first name, except for Weiss, who she refers to as Ms. Schnee. So you may assume that I'm implying some kind of tensions between Faunus and the SDC, and while that is possible, it's not the point I wanted to get across. I wanted to subtly show that Velvet may act capable as their senior, she's still on the shy side of the personality spectrum, only reciprocating the way other people interact with her (I tried my best to ensure that she only refers to characters by first name only after they have done it first) rather than initiating or pushing her own 'customs'. Just a small thing that I wanted to get across. Were there other ways to do this? Maybe, but it's the way I went with (this is a point I would gladly review criticisms about).
Two, am I Weiss-bashing? Oh hell no, I love Weiss as a character. Yes, she seems a bit bitchy so far, but this is Weiss we're talking about. She's a complicated character that initially appears one-dimensional in almost every fanfic (and the show itself) that begins at the start of their Beacon adventures. Don't worry, she'll get a lot of love next chapter. Personally, Weiss would actually be the person I'd have a field day being sarcastic to, just to see how'd she react.
Three, Arkos? Yes, I had a little Arkos moment here, doesn't mean it's set in stone. Only pair I just can't seem to break is Ren and Nora, I just can't... (you can consider that canon now, although I am planning to mess with them later)
News! The good, I got a new chapter out and the story's progressing. I'm somewhat proud of the way I represented actual canon within this (Four Maidens), but at the same time feel that I may have been able to do it better if I could just figure out what to improve on (leave some criticisms please). The other good, we got 2000 views on this story, it's not a lot, but for a first try I'll take it!
The bad, it's exam season in Canada! Expect slower updates for the next three weeks, sorry. I'll try to release a chapter or two, but I don't make promises I'm not sure I can keep.
All in all, I hope this chapter gave you a laugh, and thank you again for sticking around. If you liked it, follow, favorite, or drop a review on what I should continue doing. If you didn't like it, tell me what I could improve on, and I'll keep writing just to spite you.
