Chapter 6 – Evening

The evenings were the worst part of Pansy's day lately. For her house with Theo had become even quieter since his return from France. He would come home from work, they would have dinner with no words being exchanged before he would excuse himself. Pansy would watch each evening as he would lock himself away in his office; away from her.

Pansy had noticed a change in Theo when he returned. He was even more quiet than normal and it was clear that he hadn't slept in sometime. She tried to get him to talk to her numerous times but he just pushed her away. And just kept pushing which hurt as he had never shut her out this much before. There were times that he would shut her out a day here or a day there but it never last this long.

It never had lasted two weeks.

Pansy had gone to see Ron briefly to make sure he and the kids had settled into the cottage okay. She told him what was going on with Theo and how he was scaring her. Ron tried to comfort her as much as he could but in the end, he had no counsel to give that put her mind at ease. She was thankful that Ron just told her to go take care of her husband; he was her priority not Ron and the kids.

Returning from the cottage, she expected to enter an empty house but found Theo sitting in his chair in their sitting room with a drink and a book on his lap. It looked strangely like their wedding album.

"I didn't expect you back so soon," he said as he flipped the page.

Taken back, she spoke carefully when she said, "My errands didn't take that long."

"How's Ron?"

She paled as she stared at him, wondering how he knew and what she could say at the very moment, knowing she had given herself away without saying a word.

"Does he like the cottage? It's probably perfect from Rose and Hugo. That is the children's' names, isn't it?" Theo continued before she had a chance to speak.

Pansy just stood there in the doorway, now really unsure of what to say. She stood there for what felt like an eternity before Theo noticed the silence.

He looked up from the book, he had been flipping through and said, "What, you didn't think that I haven't known all these years?"

"You have?" she whispered, suddenly feeling very small.

"Yes," he replied, taking a sip of his drink. "I've actually known since that Ministry New Year's party. What was that six years ago?"

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Why should I?" Pansy couldn't believe he looked at her with the most incredulous look on his face. She couldn't believe, he was actually amazed at her wondering why he didn't call her out for violating the vows they made on their wedding day. "You and Ron were always discrete in your outings which I appreciated. Anyway, I never could deny you anything that made you happy. And frankly there were things in this life that he could give you that I never could. I couldn't deny you that. I loved you too much to do that."

"Theo," she whispered, moving over towards him. She wanted to apologize but she couldn't find the words at that moment. "You know I've always meant it when I told you I loved you."

"You had Ron," he continued. Pansy couldn't help but feel hurt that he was ignoring that fact that she really did mean it when she said she loved him.

"And I had Daphne," Pansy stopped in her tracks when she heard Daphne's names come out of his lips. "So I'm not completely guiltless in all of this. She and I started carrying on long before you and Ron did. I just hope Ron will treat you better in the end when the times get tough."

"Theo what's going on?" Pansy whispered rushing towards him and dropping to her knees by where he stood.

Theo stayed quiet though. Pansy realized that the album on his lap was their wedding album. Taking it from his lap, she sat it on the floor by her. Looking back at him, she watched him finish his drink. He sat it on the side table before turning to look at her. For the first time, she saw tears in his eyes.

"Theo, please tell me what's going on?" she begged, grabbing his hands. "Don't shut me out."

"Why did you stay after all these years?" he asked, looking so pitiful.

Reaching her hand up to his face, "Because I loved you. I always have. I always will. You have been my best friend, my confidant, my lover. You will always mean the world to me; no matter what I may feel towards Ron."

"You know when I returned from the continent and heard he had left Granger, I was expecting you to be gone too. That you would leave me like Daphne did."

"I wouldn't do that to you. I couldn't do that to you. Your my Theo. You always have been," she told him, fighting back the tears. "I know I haven't been faithful these past few years but I have always loved you. I would have left you and resented you a long time ago if I didn't have those stolen outings with Ron every so often; he just filled the hole that we as a couple couldn't in my life. I know that's not what you want to hear but it's the truth. I owe you that."

Theo didn't say anything but stared straight ahead. Pansy watched as tears started to escape his eyes as he sipped his drink.

Then he whispered, "Daphne's gone. She said she couldn't handle it and took off for the states. She left me Pansy. She just left me when I needed her the most."

"Couldn't handle what Theo?" Pansy knew her panic was in her voice. But she didn't want to hide it. She couldn't hide if from Theo. "What's going on Theo, please tell me?"

"I'm dying," he whispered as he continued to stare straight ahead. "The doctors are giving me just a few months. I was going to set you free and spend the rest of my days with Daphne but now she's gone. She said she couldn't watch me leave her, so she left first."

"Oh gods," Pansy burst out crying wrapping her arms around Theo. "Oh Theo. My darling Theo."

Together they held each other in his chair and cried. Cried for each other and themselves as the evening shouldered on, growing darker every minute, whether they wanted it to or not.