Okay, so I just want to throw out a quick chapter. Not much. I sorta rushed through this thing. I focused more on comedy in this than anything else, but it still slowly progresses. Anyway, hope you enjoy.
Chapter 7: Invitations
I plopped myself face down on the living room sofa. I was both tired and distressed by my recent trip to Bandle City.
"Welcome home, dear." A certain fox girl greeted me from the kitchen. "So how was the trip?"
I groaned in frustration with my face covered by the cushions of the sofa.
"So, I'm guessing it went well?" She said sarcastically.
Raising my head, I answered her. "No Ahri, it didn't. Master said he was too busy with his next ingenious plan to stay here, and he said living with others on a tree was idiotic."
She took a seat right next to me. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll have better chances with the rest of them." She said in a comforting way.
"Yeah. I'm just upset from the string of unfortunate events that happened throughout the trip."
"Unfortunate? What happened?"
"Well for starters, the Institute shut down the use of all orbs of divine wings so I had to travel all the way there by foot. Second, I was walking through a valley then, out of nowhere, a boulder hit me and pushed me down the cliff. While I was down there, I was mauled by a lion which was furious at me for landing on the carcass of a dead horse that it was gonna eat. After I managed to get away, it started raining... acid! So I took shelter in a cave and guess what."
"Wha-"
"The same frikkin' lion was in there with his stupid lion buddies! I grabbed the ground and took out a chunk of rock, then I ran the hell out of there using the rock to cover myself from the acid rain. The whole thing ruined my clothes and supplies. I was even wearing my awesome robes, cape, and hat. I'm just lucky my staff was kept intact throughout the whole thing. I was tired out so I decided to take a rest. Later, some travellers came up to me and asked if I needed help. I said yeah, and the next thing I knew, I was flying on a hot air balloon. And guess what's the next thing that happened."
"Umm..."
"THE LION! That same damn lion dressed itself up as a group of travelers. It was about to pounce on me, but luckily we were directly over the Yordle Lands, so I jumped. Then the absolute worst thing for someone to land." I sniffled. "The one thing that truly makes a man cry... I landed on one of Teemo's mushrooms."
"Oh, dear! Are you okay!? How do you feel right now?"
"Oh, now you're concerned!?" I blurted out. "Anyway, after the most painful landing experience ever, I had to crawl all the way to Bandle City. I almost forgot my reason for being there. The only thing on my mind was, "Destroy Teemo!" There was one good thing that came out from all that. I was so lucky Soraka had visited the Yordles. It was such a sight for sore eyes to see the Starchild out of all people. I really needed such a kind, helpful, smart, genuine, all-around great person such as her in a time of need." *slap!* "Oww!" I rubbed my cheeks. "What was that!?"
Ahri crossed her arms and puffed, "Nothing! Continue!"
"Okay... So, Soraka was so kind as to heal me with her astral blessing. I thanked her, then she told me, "N-No Problem, Rez. I'll support you." Then she giggled."
"What the hell!?" Ahri yelled out.
"What!?"
"How are you able to speak in Soraka's exact voice?"
Acting all smug, I answered. "Well, some people were just born with special talents. So anyway," I continued. "I asked Soraka if she could join me in my quest to hunt down Teemo. Normally she wouldn't agree to such a request, but she said." I cleared my throat to mimic Soraka's voice again, *ahem* "Sure thing Rez. I'll follow you anywhere. Teehee."
(In Ahri's mind: "I'm so gonna kill that goat!")
"After reaching Teemo's mushroomy domain, we engaged in an epic battle. Blood was shed, lives were lost, and more mushrooms were stepped on; but finally, with Soraka by my side and her astral banana power, I was able to defeat the Yordle tyrant and end his reign of poisonous mushrooms. Remembering what I was initially there for, I said goodbye to Soraka and headed straight for Master's secret hideout. This part of the trip wasn't so odd however, I just simply asked him if he could stay with us. But then he clearly reminded me of his hate for people other than himself. Once I mentioned your name, he said, "That damn woman? I'd rather live with a pack of wolves than with that nuisance of a fox."
"It scares me how perfect you said that in Veigar's voice." Ahri cringed at the sound of the high pitched voice I re-enacted. "And does he really hate me that much? If anything, I find him pretty cute."
"Nah, he's like that to everybody. He finds me tolerable at the very least. So, then he told me to get out for he was busy with a current project and that he would be relocating to one of his many different hideouts hidden throughout Valoran. As I exited his hideout as depressed as Amumu... The LION! That piece of shit was waiting for me out in the woods! I wasn't gonna run away this time. Oh no, I decided to fight! I took a slimy green egg from my bag and threw it at the lion. Headshot! The slime splattered around the eyes and nose of the lion, blinding him from any sense of sight or smell. Unfortunately, as I tackled him, he landed an uppercut directly underneath my chin as his hearing was still intact. So, I ran up to him and grabbed his neck. As I strangled the beast, I took a bite out of his ear. It seemed to be his weak point due to the fact that he was coughing up blood. With that, he started running toward the mountains, and I ate a slimy green egg as a celebratory snack."
"Why and where do you keep those eggs?" Ahri asked.
I simply shrugged. "As I made my through the valley with a dismal countenance, a thunder storm struck. I welcomed the storm as it added to my dismay. It wasn't so bad until I accidentally stepped on crap. That was about the time I gave up. The whole trip was nothing, but a complete mess and absolute failure. I was so hoping for Veigar to agree to living with us, but to no avail. I laid down under the stormy weather and began to fill up with gloom. So, I decided to take a rest on the muddy path. After what I guess was a few hours, I woke up on the back of a furry mantle. I was surprised to see that I was on the back of the lion. I didn't know what he was doing. Maybe he was carrying me to shelter from this harsh rain, or maybe he was looking for a horse-drawn carriage so they may take me in their care. Whatever it was, I was grateful. I guess yesterday's enemies can be today's friends."
"Oh, that's nice." Ahri happily said.
"Yeah, until the lion came to a stop. He took me off it's back on laid me down on the ground. I didn't have enough strength to stand, but I was able to look the lion deep in his eyes. That moment felt as if we connected to each other. That no amount of pi can break an intimate relationship between a man and his lion. Then the lion grabbed my clothes by it's teeth. He lifted me somewhat off the ground. My hands and feet still sort of dragged. And that's when he did it. THE DAMN LION HELD ME OVER THE EDGE OF A CLIFF! I looked down and saw that I would fall at least 100 feet before hitting the ground. I started pleading for my life so the lion wouldn't let me go. He gave me a devilish smirk as his mouth opened wide, making me fall to my inevitable doom. I took back everything I said about the lion. He's not a saviour, he was the spawn of the devil! Luckily, I was able to survive after hitting a few branches from some trees. Then that's when I stated, "Fuck it! I'm going home!" So now I'm back here."
Ahri gave me an unamused expression. "Did all that really happen?"
"...Yes. Everything I said was true."
"Okay... How are your clothes still intact?"
"People have time to go to the laundromat, Ahri. Duh."
She nodded. "Okay then, but throughout your 'trip', why didn't you use any of your abilities?"
"Dammit Ahri! Ain't nobody got time for that!"
"I'm just saying it wouldve made your trip a lot easier."
"I couldn't think clearly! I was emotionally depressed at most times, I've been eating green slimy eggs, I stepped on Teemo's mushrooms, and that damn LION! That thing is out to get me, I swear! I bet he's outside right now to-" I looked out the window. "There he is! The lion! He's standing right there, beckoning me to come down!"
"Rez, calm down. Let me have a look." Ahri walked up to the window to check on the lion. "Oh, wow. I guess your story was true." She looked at me. "Don't worry, I can handle this." She waved at the lion and spoke loud enough for him to hear from the top of the tree. "Hello, Mr. Lion." Ahri quickly took his attention. "Can you please leave my boyfriend alone? He's been having a really bad day, and he'd like it if you would go back to the wild." The lion shook his head. "Pretty please?" She winked and blew him a kiss, causing the lion to blush and head straight for the wilderness.
I was baffled by this sudden turn of events. Ahri looked at me and smiled. "There, you're Welcome. Where's my 'thank you' kiss?" She giggled.
(Okay, if anyone is wondering just what the hell is going on, allow me, Rez, to explain the situation. Ahri and I have been living happily with each other in the treehouse for a week now, and I felt that it was about time I invited the rest of my friends to join us. So, I went out of the house for a trip to Bandle City to invite Master Veigar. The trip lasted about a week going forth and back.
So far, Ahri and I have had little to no problems living together. Although, I've been a lazy couch potato, emptying out the fridge and sleeping every few hours. Ahri, on the other hand, has been very busy. She has been acting more of a housewife, making most of the meals, cleaning the mess I frequently make, and going out to buy the groceries. However, she continues her usual personality, much to my annoyance. While cooking, Ahri tends to wear the apron along with nothing else. She often makes sexual remarks and talk to me in a seductive way. She also refers to me either as 'Dear, Honey, or Sweetie'; although I've gotten used to it. Some nights, I let Ahri sleep with me in bed. At times, I find it appropriate. After all, we are in a relationship. We don't do anything. At least, I hope we don't. I'm a heavy sleeper, so I'm not sure if Ahri does anything in my sleep. But I'm not without fault. The night after our date in Minerva, I went to bed without dinner so I got up in the middle of the night to have a midnight snack. I was sleepwalking, so I didn't know what I was doing aside from eating. The next morning, I woke up in Ahri's room with a few soft white tails wrapped around my body and a little fox lady, happily clinging onto my arm. Overall, its been great living with Ahri, and I'm excited about others joining us.)
Continuing from where we left off, "Aghh! Whatever, I'm tired. I'm taking a nap!" I blurted out and face planted onto the couch.
"Would you like me to cook for you Dear?" Ahri asked.
I walked up the stairs, to the hallway leading up to the bedrooms. "No, I'm going to my room. And stop calling me dear."
"Well, okay then."
Rez seems to be in a bad mood. I don't know why, but oh well. He's not the type to be upset for a long period of time.
I know Rez is going to ask for food by the time he comes out (probably in about a minute), so I'm gonna be in the kitchen to prepare.
Walking up to the kitchen, I noticed something on the table. It was a small white envelope with an intricate outline. I picked it up and saw that the words on it spelled, "To Rez." Oh, I remember now. Yesterday, the mail carrier visited and gave me this letter. I was supposed to give it to him by the time he came back, so I'll just give it him now.
I walked to Rez's room, envelope in hand, and as I made it up the stairs, I bumped into him. "Oh, Rez. I thought you were taking a nap."
He scratched his head. "Yeah, umm... I kinda got a little... hungry." He said in a tone of guilt. I knew he was gonna come down sooner or later. "Well, what are you doing?"
"I was going to your room to give you this." I held out the envelope and handed it to Rez.
"Hmm? What's this?" Rez gently opened the envelope, and inside was a letter. He looked through it. "Oh, wow. This penmanship is gorgeous!"
"What's it say?" I asked. Rez gave me the letter to read. It really was great penmanship.
The letter read, "Dear Rez,
It would bring me great joy if you could come over to my place for dinner and a chance to mingle. You could come over anytime. The directions to my house are provided below. I hope to see you soon.
-Sona Buvelle"
I knew this was written by Sona from the moment I laid my golden eyes on it. If you can't speak, then writing down your words must do wonders to your handwriting.
"What would Sona want with you?" I asked.
Rez shrugged. "I don't know, but a better question is; How the hell did we get that letter!?"
"Hmm?"
"I never told anyone where we lived. I don't even know if this house has an address."
"Well, that is strange." I looked up at Rez and was soon reminded of how gorgeous he looked even when a mess.
He looked at me confused. "Ahri... what's that look on your face?"
"I've been so lonely while you were gone Rez." I slowly walked up to him. "And now you're gonna go somewhere again. Before going to Sona's, how about spending some alone time with me?"
As I stepped closer, Rez stepped away. "Umm... Ahri, what are you- ugh!" He stopped when his legs hit the sofa.
I was leaning on Rez's chest and looked up at him with a sly look on my face. "Come on, Rez. Make up for the time you were gone."
"Ahri, stop joking around. I- woah!" *SNAP!*
Once I pushed him onto the sofa, there was a loud snapping noise. Did that come from Rez? I asked him, concerned. "Rez? Are you okay?"
He sat up straight on the sofa. "Yeah. I'm fine." He moved around to see what was under him. "Isn't this? AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I was surprised by his sudden scream which continued as I looked at the sofa. "Why are you... ohh..." Looking at the object on the sofa, I found that it was Rez's staff broken into two pieces. I have a vague memory of what he told me about that staff. Something about stabilizing his mana and if he's exposed to too much, he'll break out like in that rift match. Crap! What have I done? "Rez? Are you gonna be ok?" I asked.
*5 minutes later*
"AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
*10 minutes later*
"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *exhales*
"Rez! I-"
"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Okay I'm done."
"Rez, are you gonna be okay?" I asked again. "What's gonna happen?"
With a calm voice, he spoke. "Well, nothing actually. As long as the orb in the tip of the staff resonates the stabilization energy, I'll be fine."
"Oh, well that's great." I grabbed the orb from it's socket. "You said it was created btw Viktor right? I wonder if its- woah!" *shatter*
My eyes widened asI dropped the orb, causing it to shatter to a billion pieces. I was stunned and slowly turned my head toward Rez. He had a dreadful look on his face. "Rez?"
"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH-"
I hit him on the back of his head with his staff, knocking him out cold. He really was having a series of unfortunate events.
Ahri and I were on a horse-drawn carriage, leading to Sona's house. We've been waiting for a few hours now. Just how far is Sona's house?
"Rez?" Ahri asked in a concerned/apologetic voice. "What's gonna happen to you?"
I was in a grumpy mood for now, but I held no resentment toward Ahri or anything, just my fate. "Things will be fine, as long as I'm not exposed to too much mana. Although, I will be kind of glitchy until I visit Viktor to fix the staff."
"Aww. Are you gonna go away again?" Ahri asked in despair.
"Seems so. And no, you can't tag along. He also has a top secret hideout." I perked up. "But hey! While I'm there, I'll ask him to live with us."
"Are you sure you wanna do that?" Ahri seemed nervous about the idea. "I mean, if he has a secret hideout just like Veigar, wouldn't he reject the offer as well. I bet he's a pretty busy guy."
I smirked. "Suuuuure, that's what you think."
Ahri looked at me skeptic. "I'm not even gonna ask."
I laid back on my chair and stretched my arms. "Well, its better if you didn't know."
My patience started growing thin. "Dammit! How long until we reach Sona's house!?" I opened the carriage window and stuck my head out. "We've been waiting for- Oh, what the hell?"
I heard Ahri chuckle. "Yup, that is Sona's "house."
A few meters in front of us was a huge gate. Behind that gate, was a giant mansion. It looked so regal and rich! It makes me wonder... just what the hell does Sona do with her music!?
Special Announcement!: So recently, I've watched a very beautiful movie that opened a special place in my heart. That movie is...
Frozen.
Up 'til now, I can't stop thinking about it. It was such a gorgeous movie. The music and singing was breathtaking! I also kind of fell in love with Elsa and her wonderful voice... Anyway, I'm gonna start on a Frozen fanfiction. I don't know if this is gonna affect this fanfiction(which it probably will), but I promise I will continue writing. So, if you've watched Frozen and loved it as much as I do, then please read it.
Once again, thank you for reading my story. I don't ask much for this, but please rate/review. Have a good day. Love you all very much!
