CHAPTER SEVEN
By the time Pepper returns to the office, Pete and Joe have already completed the paperwork on the arrest from earlier today. They have Andre Wilkes sitting in a holding room, waiting to be interviewed. Pepper tosses her purse onto her desk and keeps walking towards Pete and Joe. They are sitting at their desks with their feet up discussing the case. Pepper takes a seat on the edge of Joe's desk and sighs tiredly.
"How you doin', boss?""I've had better days, Joe."
"I bet. So, Pepp… what's the deal with Bill's ex?"
Pepper looks from Pete to Joe and then back again, seeing the curiosity in their eyes. She debates about whether to tell them the truth and then realizes it's no secret any longer anyway. At least hearing it from her directly she can stop a lot of rumors now.
She finally shrugs and says, "She's dying… cancer. Bill hasn't seen her since she walked out on him six years ago… and then she shows up here the other day. At first I thought she wanted to get back together with him… but then I accidentally ran into her by the campus Medical Center. She'd just gone through a cancer treatment and she was pretty sick. She stayed with me that night and told me the whole story."
"Man, that must have been rough. Having to deal with his ex…"
"Yea, it was at first, but now I understand why she's here… it doesn't bother me."
"Why is she here?"
"Because she still loves him and she doesn't want to die alone. She has weeks, maybe a month or two and she wants to spend that time with Bill."
"When they got divorced were they on good terms?"
"Apparently Bill thought they were happily married until he came home one day and she was just gone. She couldn't take him being a cop and he hasn't seen or heard from her in six years."
"So… he still love her?"
"I'm sure he does. I always knew he wasn't over it, the way it ended. He never wanted
to make that mistake again… but now that I know the real story I think he's never
stopped loving her."
"That must be hard for you."
"I can afford to wait… she can't. She needs Bill and he needs to put an end to his
marriage. They both need to say the good-byes they never said before."
They fall into silence, each contemplating the situation in their own way. Joe knows, from being married so long, that Pepper must still be upset about this whole thing. He stands up now and comes to put his arm around her shoulders as he pulls her close in a friendly hug.
"You're one hell of a generous lady, Pepp.""Thanks, Joe… that's what I keep trying to tell myself."
Pete also comes to her now, wanting to offer his support, but in his own way. He has always been the joker of their bunch and now puts his arm around her from the other side as he also hugs her and places a light kiss on her head.
"I hope Crowley appreciates what he has when this is all over… but until then… you know I'm still available."He raises his eyebrow suggestively and Pepper can't help but laugh. Joe also laughs at his comical proposal and the somber mood is broken. She pats Pete on the chest and gives him a hug with her good arm. She then stands back to regain her composure.
"All right, Romeo… since you're so full of charm today, I'm gonna let you do the interview with Andre.""You aren't forgetting his 'charming' little act this afternoon, are you?"
"Nope… I'm counting on it. I want Andre to have that little nagging fear that if he says the wrong thing Pete will arrange another little accident for him."
"Now that kind of charming I can do… no problem."
"Just remember, I only want him to think you're gonna do something else. I'll be watching."
"Fine. I think I'll put you in for the Mother Theresa award… first you let Bill's ex-wife have him back… then you all but forgive this punk for cutting you."
"Yea, yea, yea… come on, let's get this over with." She leads the way out the door and down the hall to the interview rooms as Pete and Joe follow along behind her.
They exchange a look and Joe winks at his partner before leaving him to join Pepper in the observation room. Pete waits a moment and takes several deep breaths as he transforms his personality into the bad-ass cop before entering the room to confront Andre Wilkes.
Andre is sitting casually at the interview table, sipping water, while the guard stands by, silently watching. Pete motions for the guard to leave with a jerk of his head and then waits until they are alone. When the door is closed he casually approaches Andre and is rewarded by the way his eyes narrow warily… as if wondering what he's going to do next. Without warning Pete snatches the cup of water out of Andre's hand and bats it across the room. Andre protests, but the fear is clear in his voice.
"Hey, man! You can't do that!""I just did."
Before Andre can protest further Pete turns his back on him and comes to sit at the table across from him. Instead of pulling his chair back to sit down Pete instead pushes the table towards Andre to make room. Andre tenses in his seat as the table crowds his space. Pete casually sits down and glares at Andre, daring him to move his chair back from the table. Andre takes the challenge and remains where he is as he puts his elbows on the table and leans forward to stare back at Pete. There is a tense silence as Pete places his hands on the edge of the table in a position to once again shove the table at Andre. Andre knows the table will hit him in the gut next time and finally backs down. He takes his arms off the table to slide his chair back a ways. Pete doesn't let it show, but he is pleased to see Andre back down.
"Now… tell me where you were last Friday night.""I already told Joe-cop I was at a party."
"I don't believe you were at a party, pal. Now how about the truth?"
Andre hesitates to answer, not wanting to contradict his original story, but one look at Pete tells him they already know the answer. He finally shrugs in an indifferent manner and admits, "Ok, I was over at my brother's place. So what?"
"And you got into a fight with him."
"Who says I hit him?"
"His land lady saw you go into his apartment. His neighbor heard a loud brawl and someone getting beat up… and your knuckles are scratched. They're both willing to testify you're the one who did it… now all I want to know is why?"
"He was hasslin' me, man!"
"What about?"
"What it was about… ain't none of your business!"
"Let me guess… he found out you were pushing drugs and was gonna turn you in, right?"
Andre is surprised that Pete knows so much about what happened that night in J.J's apartment. He doesn't let it show however and tries his street-wise kid attitude to distract him from any further questions.
"Well, ain't you a regular Dick Tracy… not bad for a dumb cop."Pete controls his temper and doesn't react to Andre's insult for several seconds. Then in a very controlled motion he stands up while at the same time sending the table smashing into Andre's gut. Andre is rocked back in his chair, but doesn't fall over as he maintains his balance with effort. He rubs his stomach and then angrily shoves the table back a ways as Pete comes around towards him.
"Oh, I'm sorry… did that table slide?"Andre isn't fooled by his innocent act… he knows Pete shoved the table at him on purpose. He continues to rub his chest as he now glances up warily to watch Pete advancing on him. Pete stops when he is towering over the younger man, intimidating him without saying a word. After several seconds Andre is visibly nervous, waiting for Pete's next attack. Instead Pete bends down to place them on eye level as he rests his hands on Andre's chair.
"You know your brother crashed his race car because of the injuries he received from you? You may not have been at that race, but you killed him just the same."Pete can see this information has stunned Andre, but he maintains his cool exterior with effort as he now brings his eyes up to meet Pete's and coldly answers, "Dumb nigger… never could do anything right."
"We're talking about your brother! Don't you have any regrets at all?""I ain't got no regrets about nothin'."
Pete wants to throttle this kid, but knows he can't make him feel anything for his dead brother. He stands up straight, moving away from him before he gives in to the urge to knock his head off. Andre watches him now with that superior, smug look on his face for having finally gotten Pete to lose his cool. Pete doesn't care anymore and finally turns back to him as he tiredly delivers his final insult to this hopeless punk.
"You know… the only thing I regret is that your mom and dad had to lose both sons. Why the hell couldn't it have just been you who got yourself killed?"Without waiting for an answer Pete turns and leaves the room. He can't stand to stay in there with this cold-hearted kid one more moment. The guard doesn't go back into the room at Pete's request because they want Andre to spend some time alone thinking about what he's done. Pete goes to join Pepper and Joe in the observation room.
"Sorry I lost my cool in there… but I don't think I even made a dent in that piece of ice."Pepper turns from the window where she and Joe are watching Andre in the next room. She motions Pete to come join them.
"I wouldn't be too sure about that… come look."Pete approaches the viewing window to see Andre sitting there, trying to maintain his cool exterior, but angrily wiping at stray tears that slide silently down his cheeks. They watch him for several minutes until Joe finally turns away.
"The bad part is… that piece of shit is probably only crying because he's got to take the rap for his brother's death. He's just selfish enough to care more about being locked up than what he's done to that family."Sadly there is a lot of truth to Joe's observation. Nothing they can say will change that fact so they simply file out of the observation room in silence to get on with their job. The guard is ordered to return Andre to the juvenile detention area where he'll be charged as an adult and booked on the murder of his brother and his assaults on both Pepper and Joe. Pete, Pepper and Joe all head back to the office to finish up the paperwork..
******By a miracle only Bill and Jackie understand, her condition improves and within a week they declare her cancer has once again gone into remission. They keep her in the hospital for a few more days to make sure, but then she is released. Having had her prayers answered she is overjoyed to get one last time to share with Bill. They quickly make all the arrangements for their trip to Italy while they both take care of some last minute details before leaving the country. Their plane leaves on Sunday afternoon and they now have a few days to spend leisurely waiting until they leave.
Bill remembered his promise to take her on a picnic at Sunset Bowl and secretly made all the arrangements. It was the off season, being winter and all, so they agreed to let him do this for his dying wife. He doesn't tell her that Pepper made sure all the little details were perfect, too. Now, as they sit together in the huge outdoor amphitheater the day couldn't have been more perfect for a picnic. It is almost sunset and Bill has spread out a red and white checkered table cloth for their meal. She tries to help him set everything up, but he refuses, insisting she just sit down and relax. She finally agrees, enjoying the moment as he sets out wine and cheese and crusty bread. Then, with a dramatic flourish he produces two crystal wine glasses from his picnic basket.
"Madame… for you, only the best."
"Bill! Crystal wine flutes? On a picnic?"
"Of course… and that's not all."
He once again reaches into the basket and this time comes out with a small CD player stereo. He places it on top of the basket's closed lid and presses a button. When the first strains of the Italian love song begins to fill the air he turns back to her.
"It may be the off season… in the middle of winter, but I told you we'd have a picnic at a concert here in Sunset Bowl.""It's perfect, Bill. Even the chill in the air feels good. It smells so fresh here by the ocean… especially after all that stale hospital air."
Bill removes the cork from the wine bottle and then pours them each a glass as she holds them steady. He then sets the bottle aside and turns back to take one glass from her.
"I ordered the fresh air too… special, just for you."
"I should have known you'd come up with the perfect picnic."
"A toast… to you."
"No… to us."
"To us." He taps her glass with his, making them ring before they both take a sip of the dark red wine.
They spend a few minutes just listening to the music and enjoying the evening as the sun dips lower on the horizon. Bill remembers her condition and quickly tosses a light blanket over her lower body as she reclines back on her arms. She smiles her thanks and watches as he assumes a similar position beside her. Neither of them is hungry yet so they sip their wine in peaceful silence. Jackie looks around at the huge outdoor amphitheater and the deep blue ocean beyond.
"Can you believe all this wide open space? Sort of makes me feel like a star… having this whole place to ourselves.""To the beautiful star of my evening."
He once again taps her glass with his and their eyes meet for a long moment. Then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, Bill leans closer and gently kisses her lips. Not having kissed her for six years Bill wondered if any of his old feelings would still be there. He knows they'll never take up their relationship like it had been back then, but he still loves her. He pulls back to look into her eyes now, surprised to see tears there. He knows the reason and simply smiles as she turns to look out over the horizon again. He gives her time to calm down as he loses himself in his own thoughts.
After all these years Bill can now look back and see that the love he shared with Jackie was very different from what he has with Pepper. Back then he was Jackie's protector and he took care of her every need… almost as if she were a child he had been caring for. In his young mind that had been real love, but now he sees it was just her dependency on him. She hadn't been a strong person and she needed him to protect her from the reality of the world. When he took the police job it brought the real world crashing in on her and she hadn't been able to deal with it. Perhaps their break up had been partly his fault… maybe he had subconsciously tried to make her stronger by exposing her to the harshness of life. Whatever the reasons, she hadn't loved him enough to stay and work it out. He no longer felt angry at her rejection, instead he found himself indifferent. He still felt compelled to act as her protector and make her last days happy, but he no longer had any attraction to her as a woman. He sighs softly and glances over at her now, wondering what she's thinking. He sees a deep sadness in her eyes now.
"What are you thinking?""I was just trying to remember the last time I actually took time to watch the sun set.
I've always just taken it for granted." The tears well up in her eyes again and she has to
take several deep breaths to keep her emotions under control as she continues, "I'm
gonna miss sunsets… and outdoor concerts… and Italian love songs."
She tries to smile as she looks over at him with love and sadness in her eyes to add, "I might even find the time to miss you too."
She reaches out with one hand to tenderly stroke her fingers down over his cheek, as if trying to burn his face into her memory forever. There is nothing he can say and merely turns his lips to kiss her palm. Their eyes remain locked for a long moment as the sun sinks below the horizon and darkness encompasses them.
Jackie finally pulls her thoughts together and honestly admits, "It's funny… I never thought about what I was going to lose. I always thought those left behind would be the only ones to miss everything."
Bill finds himself getting choked up as she talks so bravely about her impending death. He once again wonders where this inner strength came from and why he never saw it before. He reaches out to take her hand, bringing it back up to his cheek as he kisses her palm once more.
"You're a very brave lady… you know that?""No… I'm just lucky to have you here to see me through this. I don't think I could have done this without you, Bill. Thank you."
"I wouldn't have it any other way, honey." His eyes hold hers and even through her tears she can see the truth in his eyes.
She curves her hand around his neck and leans in to kiss him lightly, as he had done earlier. He hugs her close and they share a long moment as she once again draws on him for strength. When she finally pulls back she has her emotions under control and a smile on her face. She doesn't want to spend this glorious night talking about sad things so she changes the subject by asking what they have to snack on. Bill takes her cue and moves on as if the emotional topic had never come up. He serves them a light dinner of cheese and bread and Italian chocolates to go with their wine. The rest of their evening is perfect and he knows it will be a date she'll take with her to the end as a happy memory.
******Now that Jackie is feeling better there are so many things she wants to do one last time and Bill tries to arrange as many of them as he can. They go to the opera, the movies, hikes, long drives up the coast and through it all Jackie seems determined to eat everything in sight. Bill just laughs at her insatiable appetite and teases her about gaining fifty pounds a day. She has always been thin, but she doesn't care how much weight she gains now.
Through these last few days, Bill has managed to come into the office once, to let his boss know he'll be taking some time off and why. Then he heads back to his own office to tell them also. He comes in to find Pete and Joe in a heated argument about last nights' football game. It was a common scene and he just smiles as he approaches them. They stop their argument to greet him teasingly.
"Hey, Pete… isn't there a wanted poster out on that guy?""Maybe… it's been so long since we've seen him I can't actually recall who he is."
"Very funny. That just goes to show you I was right. I just got done telling Captain Sparks I haven't taken a vacation in years because I was too busy keeping you guys in line. The first time I take a few days off and this whole place comes to a standstill."
"Not likely… Pepper's ten times the slave driver you ever thought of being, Bill. We really want you back."
Bill smiles at the compliment, knowing how much they all like working together. He glances around the office, waving to a few other detectives who catch his eye, but not seeing Pepper anywhere. He finally turns back to find Joe grinning at him.
"She isn't here, William. She had a nine o'clock appointment with the DA."
"Oh… well, do me a favor, Joe. Get everyone rounded up in… oh, five minutes. I have an announcement to make."
"I'm being promoted?"
"Not in this life time. Let me know when everyone is here, all right?"
He leaves them then and heads into his office to sort through some last minute paperwork that needs his attention. He is amazed to find there really isn't much waiting on his desk which shows how efficiently Pepper is running the unit while he's been gone. Its only been two weeks, but it seems like forever and he wishes he was back. Instead he is planning to be gone for at least the next month… maybe two. He just hopes the strain on his relationship with Pepper won't be too much. He is just signing off on all the requests lying on his desk when Joe taps on his door.
"All present and accounted for… except Pepper."
"All right, thanks, Joe." He signs one last form and then follows Joe back out into the detectives area.
All of his thirty employees are there, milling around and talking amongst themselves. When they see him they all fall silent, curious about where their boss has been for the last two weeks. Bill takes a deep breath and prepares to tell them all.
"I'm sure you've all been wondering where I've been lately…" There is a round of denials and questions about if he has in fact been gone. They all chuckle as he acknowledges their friendly jibes, but then quiet down as he continues, "Yes, I have been gone for those of you who hadn't noticed. I've had a … a sort of family emergency. My ex-wife… has cancer. They say she has only weeks to live… so, I've taken this time off to be with her through some tough hospital stays. She went into remission again last week… and it may be her last, so…"He stops, not knowing quite how to put this so they won't ask a lot of questions. He looks around the silent room, seeing the sympathy on each of their faces and realizes they will understand.
"I always told her I'd take her to Italy… when we were married, but… we never got the chance. So… I'm going to do it now while she still has time. I'll be gone with her a month… maybe more… depending how long she has left. She wants to go home to Sicily for… the end… so, that's where I'll be."
They can all see how hard this is for him and no one says a word as they watch him take several deep breaths to control his emotions. Joe, who is standing closest to him reaches out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. Bill smiles his thanks and then goes on in a calmer voice.
"Pepper will run the unit until I get back… and I hope she doesn't work you guys too hard. I've already heard what a slave driver she's been these past two weeks.""I heard that!"
She makes her way through the crowd of her co-workers until she is standing by Bill's side. She gives him an indignant look and then turns to face the group.
"I'm not a slave driver… am I?"They all know she is joking and respond with more friendly jibes about how awful its been without Bill here. She puts her hands on her hips, pretending to be offended by their lack of loyalty towards her.
"All right… you guys just wait… as soon as Crowley's out the door you're really gonna see what a slave driver I can be.""I don't know about you guys, but I vote we go with Bill to Italy."
Several of the people in the group begin to call out to Bill to take them with him to Italy. They all know the joking is meant to lighten the mood and before long the group is laughing and talking as they begin to break up. Several of them file past Bill to offer their sympathies for Jackie and wish him well on his trip. Although everyone knows she and Bill have been dating for some time, Pepper doesn't like to be obvious about it at work. She lets him have his time with the guys and heads back to her office to wait. She'll have time to say what she wants in private when he's done out there.
A few minutes later there is a knock on her door and she looks up from the memo she is reading to see Bill leaning on the door jamb.
"You still here?""Yea, I need to talk to you… if you have a minute."
"Sure, come on in."
"Actually, I was going to ask you to grab a cup of coffee with me."
She gets up and they leave the office together, walking down the hall towards the cafeteria. Bill seems hesitant to say anything so Pepper follows his lead and remains quiet as they work their way through the service line and get their coffee. He then leads her to a quiet table out in the courtyard where they can talk in private. The day is unusually warm and sunny with birds chirping happily; contradicting the serious mood around them. Bill studies her for a long moment, searching for any sign that she is upset with him.
"How have you been? How's your arm?""Fine… busy. Running this unit looks much easier when you do it."
"I'm sure you'll do fine… and don't let those guys fool you… crack that whip once in a while."
"I will. Don't worry about the office, Bill… it always has a way of running itself."
"Yea, but I miss it. I miss you."
"How's Jackie?""Better, I think. She went into remission again, but they say it won't last. They released her from the hospital last week and we've been pretty busy since then. Now that she's feeling better there are so many things she wants to do… one last time things. I've been on the go constantly, trying to fit in as many of them as I can for her."
"How did the picnic at Sunset Bowl go?"
"Good. Thanks for using your contact with the head of security for me."
"Yea, well I'll pay him back while you're gone."
"That better not mean what I think it means."
"What? He's a very handsome… single guy."
"Pepper! Don't do this to me."
"Bill, relax! I'm just teasing you."
"If you knew how many nights I have nightmares about coming back to find you decided not to wait… God, it makes me crazy when I think about it."
She reaches across the table to take his hand in hers and gently squeeze it. Their eyes meet and he can see her love for him now as she lowers her voice to say, "Baby, I'm not going anywhere… with anyone, but you. Now, I don't want you spoiling your trip to Italy by worrying about me, okay?"
He lifts her hand up to his lips and kisses it several times, reassuring both himself and her. He forces the worry from his eyes as he smiles.
"I'd feel better about all this if you'd marry me before I go… then you'd be off the market.""Yea, and my husband would be running off to Italy with another woman for our honeymoon… no thanks!" They both laugh at this and take a moment to enjoy their coffee before Pepper brings up the topic of their trip again."So when are you leaving?""Sunday. Our flight leaves at ten PM… which reminds me, Jackie wanted me to ask if you'd have dinner with us on Sunday night.""Before you leave? That would work out good… then I can drop you two off at the airport after.""You don't have to do that.""I want to… I want to make sure you're really going with Jackie and not some young Swedish model or something.""And all this time… I thought you trusted me!""I do… with Jackie. By the way, how's that working out with her living with you?""It's a little like déjà vu. It's weird waking up to find her fixing me breakfast like she did while we were married.""Anything else going on like when you were married?""No! Absolutely not!" Pepper is laughing at his offended expression as he adamantly denies and romantic involvement with Jackie. When she won't quit laughing at him he wads up his napkin and tosses it at her. She ducks to avoid it as he demands, "How can you even ask that?""Let's just say I've been having nightmares too.""Well, you can sleep easy, honey, because there is absolutely 'no' chance of that happening.""How do you know?"
"Because it just isn't there anymore. I'm wondering now if it ever was there. When we were in high school she always seemed so frail. I was always the big brother protecting her… sure, we were dating, but I wonder now if I ever truly loved her. I've been comparing what I felt for her… to what I feel for you… and there's no comparison. Being young and stupid back then I think I confused my desire to protect her as love… she needed me and it was flattering… she couldn't make even simple decisions without
me. I loved her, but I don't think I was ever really in love with her."
"It was a long time ago, Bill… you're bound to feel differently now."
"No, you love me and you need me, but I also know you're independent and strong
enough to not need me. It makes the love we share very special because we chose each
other. You've shown me what love is… and I love you… I'm in love with you… with
every fiber of my soul."
There is a long silence between them as Pepper reads the truth in his eyes. She is deeply touched by his words and once again reaches out to take his hand across the table. He holds her hand, stroking his thumb over her soft skin as the tears fill her eyes. He smiles tenderly as she takes a deep breath, blinking away the tears in her eyes.
"Sure… just when I'm thinking about dumping you… you have to go and say something like that… I love you too, Bill."
He raises her hand to his lips and kisses it tenderly several times as Pepper fights to control her emotions. After several moments she feels his tongue flick out to taste her fingertips and pulls her hand back.
"Behave yourself, mister."
"But I've missed you."
"It's only been a week, Bill… what are you going to be like when you get back from Italy?"
"Believe me… that airport better be empty when I get back or they'll have an 'x' rated side show right there on the baggage carousel."
"Now that sounds interesting!"
They go on to talk about his trip and how things are going at the office while they enjoy their coffee together. By the time he suggests he better be getting back home Pepper is once again secure in his love for her. They have set a time and place for dinner on Sunday night and Pepper insists on driving them to the airport afterwards. Knowing it will make things much easier for them all Bill finally agrees to let her drop them off. He gives her a quick kiss in the hallway before heading out and letting her get back to work.
