A huge thank you to the readers that keep coming back and have me on alert. A special thanks to my reviewers:

RenesmeeS26
oo2uniq4u00

melissa TWILIGHT

Amazing Grace the song is John Newton's. Twilight is Stephenie Meyer's. Amazing Grace (this fanfic) is all mine.

Now, who wants some angst? If you do, read on. If you don't, well read on anyway.


Chapter 7 Forks

Edward POV

I'm going with you. Alice demanded mentally. She apparently didn't want the rest of the family to hear of my plans.

"Alice, I need to be alone." I'd said to Carlisle that I wasn't strong enough to stay away. I'm so confused right now, I just need to see her one more time.

Not for this. She was insistent.

"I don't need a chaperone."

She was my best friend. I never got a chance to say good-bye. Please Edward.

She knew I'd conceded without my having to say anything.

"Alice, what are you hiding from me?" The closer the plane got to Forks, the more intent she was to keep me out of her head.

"Edward, what will you do if Bella isn't there anymore?" Alice carefully asked.

"What do you mean 'if Bella isn't there anymore'?" Did she move to Jacksonville to be with her mother? Why is Alice being so cryptic?

"You left her, Edward. You left her. Why can't you just leave Bella in the past? You could be happy with Anna, I've seen it," she was pleading now.

"That's WHY I need to see Bella. I thought Bella was it. I thought she was my other half, my mate. But if I'm having the same feelings toward Anna, what if I was wrong about Bella? I have to see her," how could I get Alice to understand?

"Please Edward, let's just go back."

"Damn it Alice, if you're not going to tell me or show me what you know about Bella, just stop. I didn't ask for you to come with me. If you want to go back so badly, I won't stop you."

"I can't. Not here. I promise that I will show you in Forks, but you have to promise me something in return. You have to promise me that you will listen to me after I show you, really listen."

I narrowed my eyes at her. What could she have possibly seen that would have made her so frantic? What could possibly be so upsetting to her? Had Bella moved on? Was she injured? Was she…no, I couldn't even fathom THAT possibility.

"Promise me, Edward."

"All right, Alice. I promise." Damn annoying pixie.

She seemed satisfied for the remainder of the flight, but I couldn't shake the dread of what I would find and the vision that she was holding back.

It was nearly 4pm when we drove up to the Swan house. Neither Charlie's cruiser nor Bella's truck were parked in front of the house. None of the neighbors had noticed our arrival so it was safe for me to enter the house inconspicuously. I chose to enter through the front door, the spare key still in its obvious hiding spot.

I expected to be welcomed by a mixture of Charlie and Bella's scent as soon as I entered the house. I could detect faint traces of strawberry and freesia, but they were like memories. Mostly, I smelled Charlie. After a cursory glance around the house, it was obvious that Bella no longer lived here. With the exception of the microwave and sink, it didn't appear that the kitchen had been used in a long time. The living room had a thick film of dust covering every surface. Only Charlie's favorite recliner and flat screen TV seemed to show any wear.

Only one other room in the house held any draw for me. I moved deliberately up the stairs to Bella's room and opened the door. Not much had changed in the room since I had last been here. All the pictures had been removed. The air in the room was stagnant. No one had been in here in a long time. I bent down to pry open the floorboard where I had hidden Bella's birthday presents. They were still there.

"Edward, Charlie will be here in five minutes. We need to leave," Alice said from behind me.

"Where is she Alice? Where is Bella?" I barely whispered, now afraid of the answer.

"Come on, I'll show you," came her flat reply.

I gathered the gifts and replaced the floorboard, leaving the deathly quiet house.

Less than 5 minutes later, we drove up to the Forks Cemetery. My heart clenched in agony with an intensity that it had not felt since seeing Bella broken and bleeding on the ballet floor in Phoenix last year. After we parked, Alice led me to a small plot unobstructed by any shade trees. It was as if it was welcoming any rays of sun the ever-present clouds of Forks would let escape. I collapsed on the grave and pushed aside the dying flowers to see the lettering on the hateful granite block.

Isabella Marie Swan

Too well loved to ever be forgotten

September 13, 1988 - January 15, 2006

"Is it not enough just to have a long and happy life with me?"

"Mostly I dream about being with you forever."

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

"You…don't…want me?"

"You're not good for me, Bella."

"Wait!"

"Take care of yourself."

How could I speak such blasphemy?

"Contingency plans?"

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you."

O, here will I set up my everlasting rest, and shake the yoke of inauspicious stars from this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last! Arms, take your last embrace! and lips, O you the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss a dateless bargain to engrossing death.

"…you don't irritate the Volturi…Not unless you want to die…"

"Edward Anthony Masen! You are NOT going to the Volturi. You promised to listen to me. YOU PROMISED!" Alice was shouting and beating on me.

"Alice, did you see it?" I asked her, my voice filled with anguish.

"Yes," came the barely audible reply.

"Show me," I asked.

"She's dead, Edward. You don't need to see it," Alice cried, the pain of losing her friend evident in her voice as well.

"SHOW ME!"

"Ok, but you have to keep your promise and listen to me after. You will NOT go to the Volturi," she sobbed.

"Fine, just show me," I braced myself.

"Edward…Edward, please. It's been hours. Edward, you've got to hear me, please listen to me. Edward!"

"Alice," I could hardly speak. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You had just returned to us. You were all hunting. I couldn't let you see. I saw you going to the Volturi. I just saw my best friend die. I couldn't lose you too," she shouted. If she could have, Alice would have had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I had a right to know."

"If I had shown you, you would have gone to the Volturi. I didn't see any way around it. Then I saw you with Anna. You were happy, Edward. Bella is gone now and I am hurting as much as you are, but Edward, I really believe Anna is your second chance," I could hear the distress and hope in her voice as well as I could see it in her mind.

"That's why your mood was different when we returned. I could tell you were hiding something then." She nodded in agreement.

Anna...I had come here to see Bella to resolve my feelings toward Anna. I thought it would be simple, straightforward. It seems that every decision I made with regard to Bella was wrong. Bella was the only reason for my existence. WAS. She's gone now. Alice was right, I left her. Oh my God…what if my leaving was ultimately responsible for her death?

"Did you see anything else Alice? Do you know why..." the explosion didn't look accidental.

"No, I didn't see anything." We could have Jay look into it, she added mentally before she scanned for the result of that avenue of investigation. After a short flicker of images, she came up with an image of our family forger, leaning back in his chair behind his desk, a bullet hole in his forehead. A masked figure stood next to the body and tore a piece of paper off the tablet on the desk; a single word inscribed…Capuzzo. A loud growl came from my mouth at this unknown threat.

"What was Bella involved in Alice?" I snarled. Whoever was responsible has no conception of the depths of pain I intend to inflict. I may have been too late to protect my Bella, but I would ensure that I avenge her death.

Well obviously having Jay investigate is a dead end. Do you think Charlie knows anything? You don't think he's in danger do you? Alice thought frantically.

"Edward, we have to check to make sure Charlie is safe. Bella would want that," she declared.

"Yes, I agree. I just need a few minutes to say good-bye."

"Of course, I want to say good-bye also," she leaned down to touch the ground above Bella's resting site, pausing to silently say her own farewell to her best friend. I tried to block her thoughts to give her privacy.

When she was finished, she stood up. "I'll wait for you at the car," she said before leaving me standing alone. I heard the passenger door of the rental car open and close.

Pulling the CD that I had made for Bella's birthday out, I lifted the granite headstone and placed the CD under it, carefully setting the headstone back in place. I closed my eyes calling an image of Bella from my memory as I poured out my hollowed, dead heart to her.

"Bella…my Bella…There are no words that I can say that can explain how deeply sorry I am for leaving you. I am filled with such profound regret. Regret for lying to you, regret for taking my family from you and most of all regret for not giving you the forever that you asked me for so many times. I was wrong to think that you did not belong in my world. You were my entire universe. Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason…And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. Now that you're gone, the meteor has fallen over the horizon and everything is black."

Bella's conjured image looked at me with such love, I longed to reach out and embrace her one last time. I sighed and inhaled deeply, wishing to breathe in her tantalizing scent. Instead, I only detected earth and decaying flowers.

"My only comfort love, is knowing that you are now eternally safe. Not a day will go by throughout the rest of my existence that I won't think of you. You will forever be in my heart and my memories. I hope that you are happy where you are. You deserve eternal happiness. Please forgive me, Bella for failing you in so many ways. I did want you. I will always want you."

I stood in silence for a few moments, my eyes still closed, while I gazed at the imaginary figure in front of me. Every second that we spent together rapidly played through my mind, culminating to the awful moment of my departure. My thoughts settled on the words of Lord Byron.

She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellowed to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,

Had half impaired the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

Or softly lightens o'er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express,

How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent!

Slowly my eyelids opened as the visage of my love faded from my sight. My eyes dropped to the lonely grave containing the last physical remnants of my dead mate.

"Farewell, my love. I will always love you, Isabella," I spoke in a ragged whisper as I turned to join Alice in the car.

Knock, knock, knock. Alice's rapped on the Swan door as I was perched in a tree well beyond where a human would be able to spot me. I could still see the house and hear Alice's thoughts. I could also hear Charlie's thoughts as he approached the door, wondering who was visiting at this time of night.

"Alice Cullen?" he peered at the slight figure in front of him as if he doubted what his eyes were telling him. "Alice, is that you?"

"It's me," she confirmed. "Hello Charlie. I'm sorry for stopping by so unexpectedly. May I come in?" Alice asked cautiously.

"Is Carlisle…?"

"No, I'm alone."

Both Alice and I knew he wasn't really asking about Carlisle.

"You know Bella's not…." Charlie's voice broke off, pained images of her closed casket causing a resurgence of my own anguish to surface.

"Yes, I know. I'm so sorry, Charlie," she responded, her own voice genuinely thick with sorrow.

"Ok, well…ok, yeah, come in," he took a step back to let Alice in before closing the door behind her. "Can I uh…get you…something…uh, to drink?" he offered.

"No, thank you," she said as she took on his appearance. Charlie appeared to have aged ten years since I saw him six months ago. His features were drawn; the hair on his face indicated several days growth and his eyes…flat and lifeless. His hair and clothes were unkempt and he'd lost weight.

"Well, have a seat."

"I would have come sooner Charlie, but we had some family issues that we were trying to work out. That was why we left initially. I know everyone thinks that we left because of Carlisle's job, but that was only part of the reason. I learned about Bella not long after she…but I couldn't get here before now," Alice sobbed.

"So your…uh…family issues have been worked out?"

"Mostly. How are you doing, Charlie?"

"I've never felt so helpless," Charlie began slowly. "When you all left, I didn't know what to do. That first week…She wouldn't eat or drink, she wouldn't move." I cringed at the image of Bella that came to Charlie's mind.

"I had Renee come to take her to Florida…but when we started packing her clothes, she woke up with a vengeance….I didn't argue when she insisted on staying here…and she did seem to get better at first…."

Charlie trailed off. It was hard listening to this, knowing how much pain I'd caused.

"But?" Alice prompted.

"She went back to school and work, she ate and slept and did her homework. She answered when someone asked her a direct question. But she was…empty. Her eyes were blank.

"It was night of the living dead around here…."

"Two days before…she seemed to get better. She called one of her friends. You remember Jessica Stanley? I think she was in your class."

"Yes," Alice responded.

"They went to a movie in Port Angeles. I was out on a domestic violence call," his voice was strained with tension. "Bella called the station. For some reason, she was at some place called Capuzzo's." I pulverized one of the branches that I was holding onto.

"Bob radioed the Port Angeles department to have a car sent there. They'd already killed Jessica by the time the car arrived. They were just in time for Bella." Charlie's sobs overcame him.

I saw from Alice's thoughts that she had moved next to him to put her arm around him in comfort, drawing comfort from him as well. Jessica was killed. No matter how annoyed I was with her thoughts as I walked through Forks High, I would never wish for her to be killed and in such a brutal manner. And Bella…she was alive. What happened?

"Bella was alive?" Alice asked, confused as I was.

Charlie suddenly stiffened in Alice's hold and she regarded his expression as he prepared his response. His thoughts reflected to Bella's phone call. It was connected throughout the entire attack. "You say a word, you're dead. Remember, we've got 'family' connections," they had stated. My growling was nearly constant as he continued.

"She came home the next morning after being held for observation in the hospital and giving a statement to the Port Angeles police. She was shaken, upset…but she seemed more alive than I'd seen her in a long time. She seemed peaceful.

"Two of the Capuzzo boys were arrested," Charlie stated through clenched teeth. "The case was taken over by the Feds. I was assured that Bella was safe…

"The morning that she…I had left early to go fishing with Billy Black and Harry Clearwater," his thoughts were filled with a guilt I was all too familiar with. It's all my fault. I should have been home. He thought. "She'd left a note to tell me that she was going to see the Stanley's.

"The Feds won't tell me anything, but I know her truck was rigged to explode." Through Alice's eyes, I saw that tears were streaming down his face and he was gripping a scrap of fabric that I recognized from the horrible vision of Bella's death. It was a piece of the shirt she had been wearing, the edges charred from the explosion.

"They released those boys after only a week. My baby is dead and those bastards are walking around free," he broke down as Alice sobbed with him. My vision clouded with rage, my lifeless heart shattered as I cried alone in the forest.

"I'm so sorry, Charlie," Alice said, voice glum.

"It's not your fault…You were always a good friend to her."

"What are you going to do now?" We need to see if he's endangering himself by continuing to investigate those boys. Alice thought to me. It was good that one of us was able to think clearly right now.

"I don't know. There's still days that I come home from work expecting to see her red truck parked in the front before I realize…I spend a lot more time at La Push with Billy and Harry.

"Right after those boys were released, I called some buddies in Port Angeles to see what I could dig up on the Capuzzo family. I received a nice visit from a gentleman in a government vehicle not long after that letting me know that the case was still under federal jurisdiction and that it would be in my best interests to leave the investigation in their capable hands."

"And have you?" Alice pressed.

"I don't really have a choice," his voice and posture defeated. "Who am I but a small town cop?"

"Is there anything my family can do to help? I'm sure Carlisle would…" Alice attempted.

"Thank you for the offer, Alice," he interrupted. "But unless your family has the power to bring Bella back to me, or find a way to bring those bastards' family to justice for what they did to Bella and Jessica, I don't think there's anything your family can do.

"Listen, it's late and I've got to get up early tomorrow for work. Thank you for stopping by, Alice."

"I wish it were under different circumstances. Thank you for talking with me, Charlie."

The front door of Charlie's house opened and Alice gave Charlie a brief hug before leaving him behind to deal with his grief alone. I didn't need to listen to his thoughts. I already knew what they would be.

He'll be safe, Edward. Let's go home. It's time we tell the rest of the family. We're going to need them all to deal with the Capuzzos.


I'm sure you noticed that I used a few quotes from the New Moon book and the movie. From here on I don't use a lot of words from the books, afterall this is my story not a retelling of Stephenie's version.

So was this enough angst for you? No? Then you should like the next chapter.

Links for the Shakespeare and Lord Byron quotes will be on my profile page.