When we finally pulled back up to the farm, the sun was nearly halfway over the horizon. I felt as exhausted as everyone else looked. As soon as the jeep came to a complete stop, Michelangelo jumped out through the back, dragging Songbird along with him.

"No!" She screamed as she hit her head against the roll bar. "Ow!"

The sight of her sitting there holding on to the tether as if she were reeling in a fish was too much, I burst out laughing. Having a dog was turning out to be everything I could have hoped for. She seemed to be getting a handle on things when Daryl stepped into view lighting a cigarette ; Songbird had only just stood up when the lighter clicked and the dog suddenly cantered off in the direction of the sound.

"Stop! Heel! Stay?" Songbird tried fruitlessly to put a break on the running beast.

"Sit!" Daryl said, looks of alarm flipped from the animal rampaging towards him and the poor child being dragged behind it.

It sat. Not only did it sit, it sat and stared adoringly up at the raggedy redneck. Huh. I guess Songbird and Michelangelo had more in common than meets the eye. I shook my head as I turned to help the guys unload the deer.

"Where do you want these?" Shane asked as we laid the doe on the ground.

"I usually clean my stuff over by the pond and throw the leftovers in for the catfish to eat." I responded, making Glenn turn a bit green.

Shane just laughed at him. "Aww, come on, city boy! It's all part of the circle of life."

I patted Glenn on the shoulder; I guess some people would rather just believe their meat comes already prepackaged. I wanted to give him an encouraging word but Songbird's voice rang out. "Exactly!" I glanced at her and she was clapping for joy and pointing at Daryl. "See, he gets it!"

Glenn tried to take that opportunity to escape. "I'm going inside." He muttered.

"Not so fast!" I caught him by the sleeve of his jacket. "We've got deer to gut."

"You're going to make me cut that thing apart?" Glenn asked, turning a couple of shades greener.

"It's not so bad," Songbird said sympathetically. "I'd help, but I've got to find somewhere for Michelangelo to sleep…" We all watched as she lost control of her gigantic new pet again. Daryl shook his head as he gave her instructions on how to calm Michelangelo down while he held on to her arms so she wouldn't get dragged off. The dog steadfastly refused to listen to anything Songbird said, but immediately sat the moment Daryl gave him the order.

She reluctantly gave control of the beast to him and I decided to go along and chaperone, hoping none of our livestock would be attacked.

"I'll come too," I told them, "and show you where you can put him. I'll be right back to help with the deer, Glenn."

"Take your time," he said with a sigh of relief.

I led the way towards the barn, where I was sure we had something that would do as a dog house for now, wincing as Michelangelo salivated in the direction of our chicken coop. I prayed this wasn't going to end up being a mistake.

"Hey Freddy! Look!" Songbird interrupted my reverie.

Ah, here comes the payoff now! Freddy was just coming over the hill from the direction of the garden, smiling at Songbird as he returned the greeting. "Hey Songbird, what are you…" He caught sight of the dog, which seemed to go insane with enthusiasm at the sight of him. "Oh my God!"

Freddy screamed. It was a high-pitched soprano scream that exceeded even my expectations of him; I could feel the satisfaction lighting up my face as his contorted into pure horror.

Michelangelo couldn't stand it, he wiggled free of Daryl's grasp, although I doubt he was holding on all that hard once he saw how terrified Freddy was. The dog cantered straight for my brother who had been backing away, but now stood frozen in fear. "Oh my God!" He yelled again.

I doubled over, barely able to breathe as my brother let out another feminine cry when Michelangelo reached him and began showering him with wet doggy kisses. I was probably the worst sister left in the world for enjoying this, but I had always wanted a dog and was never allowed to have one because Freddy was 'allergic'; not that he had ever shown any signs of an allergic reaction when he did come into contact with a canine, the only 'reactions' he had were whimpering like the girl he was until someone removed it from his presence.

I could faintly hear Songbird begging Daryl and me for help, but we were both incapacitated by laughter. I took in a few deep breaths and pulled myself upright, reminding myself that this was a show worth watching; but by that time, Freddy had stopped screaming, and had started hyperventilating.

"I'm so sorry!" Songbird exclaimed. "I didn't know you were scared of dogs…"

"I'm not scared!" Freddy said between gasps of air. "I am…I am allergic. Deathly allergic. I might die!"

Songbird looked genuinely shocked and concerned, giving me a horrified look."Lucky, why didn't you say something?"

"Because Fred is not allergic to dogs," I told them with a shrug, "He's just a pussy. I mean a cat person."

That got a snicker from Daryl, we both just shrugged again when Songbird gave us the evil eye.

"Maybe you should go lie down," she suggested. "And take something for your allergy."

"I will," Freddy was milking this for all it was worth. "I should. I could die."

"Yeah, I'm sure it's hard to breathe with all the screaming," I smirked.

"I'm sure you could die," Songbird told him comfortingly. "Maybe get a shower too, that will help with the allergens right?"

"Right," he nodded. "I'll do that."

"You're both terrible people." Songbird hissed at us as Freddy walked past us.

"Anyway…you could put the dog over there," I pointed at the barn. "There's even an old doghouse in the barn somewhere. I'm sure you can rig something, right Daryl?"

"Yeah, sure." He said and I walked away. That was the most fun I'd had in ages.

Cleaning the deer was almost as fun as watching Freddy with dogs, what with Glenn making the most hilarious faces whenever he came across anything non-meat. We had a few coolers full of venison at the end of the morning. Shane asked about fishing in the pond and we made plans to try to catch something later on. I watched him as he ambled back to the house; maybe he wasn't all that bad, but I still had a feeling Rick wouldn't like the idea of us being friends.

I showered; feeling more relaxed than I had in ages. I dressed accordingly, in a short violet bubble skirt with lavender tights and a close fitting lilac sweater, and then gathered my hair in an intricate set of braids that were knotted with ribbons over my ears in cute pigtails. I had just slid on a pair of red heels and stepped into the game room when Daddy walked in from the hallway.

"You look nice." He said, sounding surprised.

"I feel like it's that kind of day." I shrugged.

"Does it?" He asked, sitting in one of the theater seats. "You sure it isn't just because that copper keeps staring after you?"

"He isn't just some cop." I sighed. "And does that even matter anymore?"

"Authority figures want to stay where they are, no matter what happens to the world around them." He said in that preachy voice he got whenever he talked about 'the man'.

I sat beside him and took a good look at him. He looked a little older than I remembered him; the stress of worrying about Freddy and me must have taken more out of him than I realized.

"He is a really good guy who puts others before himself." I said. "If anyone deserves authority, it is that kind of person."

Daddy looked away from me, playing with a string hanging from the armrest of his seat. "I know." He sighed. "I talked to him. He seems like a fine fella, but…" He trailed off.

"But?" I prompted.

"But no one is ever going to be good enough for you; you're my little girl and I don't think I'm ever going to get over that." He said in a rush.

I laid my head on his shoulder. "I know." We sat there in silence for a few minutes. "So, what did you talk about yesterday?"

He laughed. "I just tried to scare him away from you." He shook his head. "But he seems pretty determined. I think you're more than a booty call to this one."

"Daddy!" I slapped him in the arm. "That is… disturbing… don't ever say the words 'booty call' to me again!"

"I'm just saying, he doesn't just want you for, uh, late night pie, if you get me."

I turned beet red. "He's never had my…pie… so I… so there's that." I got up and started walking away, hoping he would get the hint that I didn't want to talk about this anymore.

"Oh, I know." He smiled. "Everyone knows that, thanks to your friend Songbird."

"Right." I muttered. "Well, this has been a nice talk, Daddy, but I think we're done here. Don't you?"

He grinned. "Yep." He got up. "Well, there is one more thing."

"What's that?"

"Keep your pie off my counter." He said as he walked out the door.

"Will do." I said, covering my face in embarrassment.

Once I was sure that my face had regained its normal color, I headed to the kitchen. Carol was seated at the table putting a puzzle together with Sofia. Carl was sitting at the table too, but he had set himself away from them, looking forlorn as he pushed the pieces around.

I grabbed a juice box and pulled up a chair beside him. "What do we have going on here?"

"We found a jungle puzzle!" Sofia said happily continuing on with her work.

"What about you, Carl?" I sifted through the pieces and found a couple that went together. "You don't look like you're having too much fun."

"They don't care about me." Was all he said.

"Who, sweetheart?" I asked, bringing my face down to his level.

"My momma and daddy, they're always fighting and they don't ever talk to me anymore." He told me with a quiver in his voice.

"Oh. That… they still love you…oh honey!" I pulled him into my arms, completely at a loss at what to say. But then, it wasn't my place to say anything was it? "Hang on, you stay right here. I'll go get them and they can tell you just how much you mean to them. Would you like that?"

He nodded sullenly; I gave him another quick hug before I left him there to find Rick and Lori. I found Rick in the hallway as he was coming out of the bathroom. He'd obviously just taken a shower, his hair was dripping and he had a bit of toothpaste on his chin. I reached up and wiped it off with my thumb.

"You can use my bathroom you know… there's never a line and it's bigger than this dinky one." I told him, wiping my hand off on his shirt.

"I'll take you up on that offer, any more benefits I should know about?" He grinned down at me.

The thought of him naked in my shower almost made me forget why I'd sought him out in the first place; he leaned in to kiss me but I pulled away. "Carl needs to talk to you." I said when he looked disappointed.

"Carl?" He asked. "Why didn't he come to me himself?"

"He, uh, he said he felt neglected." I hedged. "Come on, you can talk to him about it, he's in the kitchen."

"If anyone is neglecting him, it's Lo…"

"She is going to be involved too." I cut him off. "He mentioned both of you."

"Oh." Was all he said.

We were walking back to the kitchen when I spotted Lori on the couch with a book. "Hey, Lori, could you, uh, join me in the kitchen for a minute?"

"Why would I need to do that?" She asked acidly.

"Carl wants to talk to us." Rick answered stiffly.

"Look, I know that you two have issues. None of that is my business, but he is in there feeling like you two have forgotten all about him." I said, stepping between them. "You are going to have to work something out." I opened the kitchen door, giving Carl a wink before ushering his parents in. Lori gave me an unfathomable wide eyed expression as she passed me.

Carol and Sofia quietly followed me out, shutting the door behind them. "It's about time that happened." Carol told me before taking Sofia into their room.

A couple of days passed, I didn't see as much of Rick since he was making a real effort to spend more time with his son. He even seemed to be getting along with Lori, and by default, Shane because he was always with Lori.

I took to spending most of my time out in our orchard, lounging in the trees and reading. I had just brought in a basket of apples one day, when Shane stepped in behind me.

"Looks like things are settling back down to how it used to be." He said, grabbing an apple.

"Except now Rick knows that you're screwing his wife." I rolled my eyes.

"It's nice to have it all out in the open, I think." He said between bites. "Clears the air."

"For you. For them, it's probably the worst form of torture just short of feeding them to zombies." I punched him in the arm. "You had to go and make this as hard as possible for everyone."

"Maybe. She always told me she was going to leave him." He pondered the apple in his hand. "Do you think she would have? If all of this hadn't happened?"

"I don't know. I wasn't there, remember?" I said.

"I wish you had been… having you under Rick's nose would have made it a hell of a lot easier for me." He laughed.

"Fuck you, Shane." I punched him again. "I don't break up happy marriages."

"Neither do I, believe me." He said seriously.

We both went quiet when Lori walked into the room. "What are y'all talking about in here?" She asked.

"How much happier Carl looks lately." Shane told her.

"He really does, doesn't he? I feel so bad now, about…" She trailed off with a tentative look at me.

"It happens, things fall apart and it happens." I said, not really knowing why I was comforting her, after all, she was the one who had made Rick so miserable in the first place.

Carl walked in at that point; Lori gave him a smile and asked him if he needed her to get him anything.

"Nope. I want to ask Lucky something." He stated matter-of-factly.

"What is it, buddy?" I asked, tossing him an apple from the counter.

He turned bright red as he looked from Lori to Shane to me and said. "I was wondering, since you're so nice and pretty and everything," oh no, I didn't like where this was heading, "if you wanted to be my girlfriend."

Lori's eyes flew wide open in surprise and Shane had to turn around to hide his laughter. Carl just stood there, smiling expectantly as if I could not possibly turn him down.

"I, uh, you know Carl, I'm actually kind of already somebody's girlfriend." I stuttered, hoping I wouldn't hurt his feelings too much.

"Yeah, I know. My dad likes you a lot, but you can have two boyfriends." He told me, talking slowly as if I were the one who didn't understand.

The shame radiating from Lori was almost tangible, I looked to her for help, but she seemed to be frozen. I guess I would have to handle this on my own. "I don't think I have it in me to have two boyfriends, and since your dad had me first, I'm sorry Carl, but I am going to have to say no."

He looked disappointed, but I think he handled it pretty well. Shane cleared his throat and Lori thawed back out.

"Come on, Carl; let's find your dad so he knows to keep an eye on you while Shane and I are up in the tower." She told him as she steered him out of the room.

I stood there alone for a second; I was planning on actually spending some time with Rick today, but if he was going to be with Carl, no… that would just be uncomfortable for everybody. I finally decided to head back to my game room and relieve some stress on the old XBOX.

I had just started up a new game of Red Dead Redemption when Songbird came in and sat beside me, sulking. I assumed that her watch shift with Daryl didn't go well.

"Lucky, can we talk for a second or two?" she pouted.

"Kay." I mumbled as I maneuvered John Marston out of the way of a charging boar.

"I had watch with Daryl today." She told me despondently. I could see that this conversation was going to be one of those girlie Lifetime moments, and I wanted to be there for Songbird right now, but that damn boar was about to kill me.

"I guess that made you happy." I tried to put a positive spin on things, and John Marston finally shot that boar, so I had reason to be in a good mood. "Ooo! Look at that, right in the head!"

"That's great," Songbird replied with a whimper. "But no, watch with Daryl didn't make me happy."

With that persistent boar dead, I could concentrate on what she was saying. "Why not?" I looked over at her to find tears rolling down her face. "Are you crying?"

"No," Songbird lied, rubbing her nose on her sleeve. "I'll tell you why it didn't make me happy, Lucky."

Apparently, she and Freddy had gotten pretty friendly during a sparring session and Daryl had walked in while Freddy had her pinned on the floor in a tickling match. He had said some unsavory things to her, insinuating that she was easy. I knew that she didn't see it, but I was pretty sure that just Daryl's way of telling her how much he wanted her to be his. Then after all that, she went and made up with him, asking him to be her friend. Poor girl, she was so naïve that she actually thought that was going to work out.

"Why did you ask him to be your friend if you don't want to be friends?" I asked, knowing that friend was not the word she would prefer to use in reference to Daryl Dixon.

"I don't know!" She cried, dramatically throwing her face into her hands. "I just wanted him to talk to me again! And now he's being all weird toward me and I don't know how to fix it!"

I didn't know why she was torturing herself when the man was obviously pining over her as hard as she was over him. "Maybe you should let him fix it. He's the man." Gah! She was making this so hard! "Why do you worry so much about him anyway? I mean, don't take this the wrong way…but he's not exactly…"

"He is!" Songbird said. "Lucky, he's amazing. He makes me feel safe and he's…well he's the only guy I've ever um…done anything with."

"Well, you're only 18," I told her with a laugh. "I wouldn't imagine that you'd really have a lot of sexual experience under your belt, as it were. And also, let's face it, if this was still the real world, you probably wouldn't be as interested in going the long haul with Daryl Dixon…"

That was the wrong thing to say to her right now. "Why not? What do you think is so wrong with Daryl?"

"Nothing, I guess," I backtracked, hopefully she would stop with the evil looks. "Sometimes he's kind of a jerk apparently, but I'm just saying that since you're so young, it probably would have come to an end even if the two of you had done the deed…"

"Well, my mom was only 15 when she had me," Songbird said. That didn't exactly make the current situation any better, the only thing I had learned from that statement was that she came from fertile stock.

"Really?" I asked, wondering where she was hoping to get with this line of thought.

She told me that her mother's family was the religious sort and that her father had discovered her mother at her after school job as a grocery clerk. He had been a traveler and she had left home with him, they'd ended up in Ohio when she found out that she was pregnant with Songbird; he dumped her there with no hope of going home because her parents saw her as a black spot on their heavenly résumés.

"She lived on the streets for a while. Things looked up eventually," Songbird continued. "And I don't think she could have raised me better."

"How did she die?" I asked, giving what I hoped was a comforting pat on the shoulder. The moral of this story didn't seem to be to hop into the bed of every raggedy redneck that dropped his tailgate.

"Cancer," Songbird answered, swallowing hard. "We didn't know until it was too late." She began to sob in earnest then, catching me completely off guard. I patted her back again, it seemed to help last time.

"Sorry," she whispered when she was done.

"It's okay," I smiled at her. "I think we've all had one of those. An apocalypse is hell on the nerves."

Songbird grinned shakily and nodded. "So…kill more stuff and I'll watch," she said. "It'll make me feel better."

I only got to loot a few unfriendly strangers' corpses when she said, "You know what would make me feel even better?"

"What?" Was there anything better than playing video games to cure the ailing soul?

"Karaoke," she answered seriously.

A large group of people coming in my room to sing, and I could only assume that they sang badly, was not my idea of a good time; but she was so determined that I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it until I finally gave in, I decided not to put myself through any more torture than was necessary. "Fine." I conceded.

I helped her set up the room for the party, setting the seats out of the way and replacing them with a dance floor veneer; then sent her on her way to invite people to her makeshift celebration and started to get ready myself.

I spent some time picking out my clothes, it had been a while since I'd had any real quality time with Rick and I wanted to wear something that would remedy that. I laid the dress out on my bed and undressed before hopping up onto the bed myself to paint my nails. The dark red polish was just the right hue to offset the cream colored off the shoulder sweater dress I had picked out; I admired the combination absently before sliding off the bed and walking leisurely to the bathroom.

I had just stepped onto the tiled floor when I heard my bedroom door open, I turned around to tell Songbird that I was going to take a shower and saw Rick standing in the doorway. I could feel the blush as it rushed over my body, I searched fruitlessly for something to cover up with. Rick shut the door quickly behind him, taking a hesitant step forward.

"I, was, uh, about to get in the shower." I said, crossing my arms over my chest then remembering there were more important parts to cover up and getting frustrated when I realized how stupid I looked with my hands over my crotch.

"Oh, well, I was going to take a shower myself and I remembered your offer to let me use yours." He grinned. "That's a lovely color on you by the way. This is the first time I've really gotten to see just how well it really compliments you."

Oh God, I suddenly realized what was happening and almost choked on the nervousness creeping up my throat. I found myself staring at the ceramic tile under my feet, not quite knowing what I was supposed to do next, but sure that I wanted to do something. "It would probably be better if we tried to conserve water. Did you want to…" I trailed off, still not able to look directly at him.

"Yes." Was all he said before crossing the room and pulling me up into his arms for a rough desperate kiss.

I couldn't feel anything but the strength of him holding me up and the deep bruising pressure of his lips on mine, oh, and a deep desire for him to never stop. Ever. He groaned as I ground my pussy against the hard bulge in his pants, pushing me against the door for more leverage. I let my hands slip down between us to unbutton his jeans; he grabbed my hand and led it down his flat stomach before wrapping it around his cock.

I moaned as I felt how much I had affected him, smiling as pride welled up inside me; but it made me realize that that was going to be inside of me, I shrank away from him afraid and not sure how to proceed.

"What's wrong?" He asked, looking concerned that he had done something to put me off.

"I don't know what I'm doing." I whispered. "And that scares me a little." I glanced down at his open fly.

He smiled down at me. "We can, uh, take it slow."

I could tell he did not want to take things slow, which made me want him that much more. "Slow then." I pulled him into the bathroom and locked the door.

His clothes were piled up into the corner of the room before I'd had a chance to turn the shower on, his hands gliding over my body as he murmured, "you're so beautiful."

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed along his jaw line and down his neck until he grasped the hair at the nape of my neck and brought my lips to his for another deep rough kiss that made me shiver down to my toes. His other hand was still exploring my curves.

He reached down and squeezed my ass, making me thrust my hips in his direction. He lightly tweaked my nipple, causing me to squeal into his mouth. Then he slipped his hand between my thighs and I felt his fingers moving in slow soft circles. "Oh God!" I moaned and his fingers pressed harder, one slipping into my already wet pussy. I shuddered against him, making his hand move faster.

I was vaguely aware of him shoving me against the shower wall, holding me in place with one arm as he delved deeper into me. He slipped in a second finger and began pulsing them in a quick steady rhythm. "Look at me." He murmured. I opened my eyes to meet his piercing hungry gaze and felt an intense urge to make him happy.

I let my hand slide down his body to wrap my fingers around his cock again, grinning at his involuntary thrust. The shower's spray had made him slick and it was easy to pump my hand back and forth, I tried to stay in rhythm with his fingers as they brought me closer to the brink of orgasm.

My head fell back against the wall as my body clenched around his fingers; I heard myself calling out his name as the sweet tension finally gave way to pure uncontrollable pleasure. I writhed against his hand, trying desperately not to let go of his cock as he pumped into my hand until he came.

He relaxed over me, pulling me close as he held himself up with one arm against the wall. I felt giddy; I couldn't stop grinning like an idiot. "That was…" I said, pulling away to look at his face. "It was just…"

"Yeah, it was."He kissed my hair before straightening himself up.

"Sorry about freaking out a little before." I blushed, looking down at my feet again.

"No," He told me, lifting my chin so he could look into my eyes. "I said we'd take it slow. You are worth every second I have to wait for you."

After actually showering, we walked out of the bathroom wrapped in the big fluffy pink towels that I had in stock. Rick was teasing me about them and playfully attempting to unwrap me, so we didn't notice Songbird standing in my room right away.

"I, uh, didn't know you were in there together or I…" She trailed off, blushing and looking everywhere but at us.

I surprised myself by not being the slightest bit ashamed; I was still a little high from getting off and just smiled back at her as she stumbled over her words.

"Yeah, well… I was just leaving." Rick said, giving me a kiss before walking past Songbird on his way out the door.

She kept her eyes down until the door clicked, then a devious smile bloomed over her face as she raised her eyebrows at me.

I just shrugged and walked over to my vanity and sat down to brush my hair.

"So that's it?" She asked, as she walked towards the bathroom. "You get down and dirty with Rick in the shower and now you aren't going to tell me anything?"

I sighed, staring at my reflection and hoping she would just drop the subject. But she didn't; she just stood there staring at me expectantly, like a puppy wanting food. "We didn't go all the way." I said reluctantly. "I got scared."

"Scared?" She looked at me incredulously. "What the hell is there to be scared of?"

"The only experience I've ever had with this kind of thing is with…myself." I stuttered defensively. "From all the stories I've ever heard, the first time hurts. Forgive me if I freaked out a little bit."

"I didn't mean… I guess I didn't think about that." She said quietly. "So, what did you do then?" Her usual playfulness had returned to her voice. "Did you…" She looked around like someone might be listening and dropped her voice to a whisper. "Did you go down on him?"

"Uh, no." That wasn't on my list of most pleasurable things to do while alone with Rick, but it was probably on his, now that I thought about it. I would have to work that in sometime soon. God, even when he wasn't right in front of me, all I wanted to do was please him! That man had some kind of spell on me. I wondered if…

"So?" Songbird interrupted my thoughts, leaning against the wall by the vanity mirror.

"So, I need to put clothes on and you need to take a shower." I looked at her seriously. "People are going to be filing into my game room soon; we should at least be dressed when they do." I waved her away when she started to pout. "We'll have plenty of time to talk about this later."

She sulked for a moment longer, then traipsed into the bathroom. I got dressed and put my hair up, then walked to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

James was leaning against the counter, sipping red wine. "You look different." He said, eyeing me over his glass.

"I painted my nails." I shrugged.

"I don't think that's it." His eyebrows furrowed. "You look happy."

"I don't usually look happy?" I asked drily, biting into an apple.

"Not like that." He shook his head.

"I don't know, maybe I'm more excited about this party than I realized." I said, starting to walk out of the room and almost running into the Rooster.

"You look different." He said. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"There's going to be a party. I'm excited." I told him as I hurried out of the room.

I realized I just had to turn back around when I noticed everyone making their way into the kitchen. I sat down and smiled like an idiot when Rick sat down beside me. I saw my dad's eyes widen in realization out of the corner of my eye and felt my face go beet red. Rick looked at me questioningly but I just shook my head. I felt his hand on my thigh under the table and relaxed, smiling as I gave him a little kiss.

Dinner went by quickly with everyone talking about what they wanted to sing later and how welcome the distraction was. It wasn't very long before people started getting up and making their way to the game room, I stayed behind and washed dishes.

"Want some help with that?" Rick asked when everyone else had left the room.

"Ooh, a man doing dishes without being asked. I guess the world really has ended." I drawled. "Nah. I've got this, but I wouldn't mind you keeping me company."

"Tell the truth. You just want to keep me all to yourself." He grinned, wrapping his arms around me.

"I do." I said smugly, rinsing off the last plate and wiping my hands off before turning to twine my arms around his neck.

"I wanted to get you alone again." He told me, nuzzling my neck.

"And what would you possibly need to get me alone for?" I breathed.

"Because you're mine." He said, holding my face so he could look into my eyes. "And I don't like sharing my things." There was a hard edge to his voice that made me wonder if he'd always been so aggressive or if this was a learned behavior. Either way, it made me press my body even closer to his and pull him in to nibble at his bottom lip. He smiled and started to lift me up to the counter top.

"Not a good idea." I said, pulling away.

"Why not?" He asked breathlessly, looking as if he were about to ravage me anyway.

"My dad…he, uh, already has issues with you, deliberately disobeying him would just ruin any chance of him ever liking the idea of…us." I answered, hating my dad for being in my head right at this moment.

"Deliberately disobeying him? What rules did he set exactly? Is that why you got so nervous earlier?" He sounded confused.

"No! That was…all me." I was getting flustered.

"Then what did he say?" He asked.

"Not on the counter." I said. He stood there looking at me for a minute then burst out laughing.

"Dad?" Carl's voice asked from behind Rick. My breath caught and I silently thanked my daddy for "ruining" my moment.

Rick grinned at me before putting some space between us. "What is it son?" He turned, still chuckling and bent down to his son's level.

"Aren't you coming to the party?" He sounded both pitiful and annoyed the way only children can. "You're going to miss it all."

"Of course, son. I was just helping Lucy with the dishes." He told him.

I noticed that he used my real name; it wasn't the first time I'd heard him use it and at first I'd thought it was his way of being playful, but after tonight I could hear the possessive tone in his voice as he said it. No one used my name unless I had some kind of connection with them, and he was using it now. He'd been telling me I was his all this time and I hadn't even heard him.

"You ready, Lucky?" Carl asked, looking at me over his dad's shoulder.

"Of course, I'm ready whenever you are." I smiled down at him.

When we walked into the party, it was going on at full force; Songbird was just finishing up on stage, apparently she had done well, her applause was amazingly loud. She pointed the microphone in my direction, I pretended not to notice but Rick led me to the stage and I reluctantly accepted it.

I flipped through my discs and pulled one out at random, then let a random track play; it was the way we did karaoke as a family, one of my favorite traditions. The first jarring chords of Frou Frou's "Holding out for a Hero" boomed over the speakers and I almost laughed at how perfectly it fit.

I settled into my karaoke persona that I usually reserved for family and those awful beauty contests my mother had forced me into and crooned the first verse, looking directly at Rick as I sang.

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need

I let myself look around the room as I belted out the chorus and saw Songbird dancing with Daryl. Well, I guessed they would call it dancing; it was more of Daryl pushing her in an awkward jerky circle and Songbird desperately trying to get out of his way. Daddy and James were leaning against the wall and bobbing their heads to the beat. Freddy was dancing with Sofia who was grinning from ear to ear while Carl was giving them dark looks. He seemed to have gotten over my rejection pretty easily.

When the song was over, I hopped off the stage and tossed the microphone at Freddy. He scowled at me and I stuck my tongue out at him, giving him a playful punch on the shoulder before turning to look for Rick again. Songbird found me instead.

"You have to tell me!" She insisted. "Honor the code!"

"What code?" I asked, seriously confused.

"The virgin code… the best friend code…the code I made up so that you have to tell me about sex!" She exclaimed.

I shushed her, looking around to see if anybody was looking our way before leading her to an empty corner. "I told you I didn't have sex."

"You did something and I want to know what." Songbird said matter-of-factly, obviously not caring who heard, but then did she ever?

"We, uh…let's just say that Rick is very good with his hands." I managed to say, still turning a little red in the process.

"Oh." She sounded disappointed. Good. Maybe next time she wouldn't hound me so much about it.

"Is that all you wanted to know?" I asked, already starting to turn away.

"I guess." She sighed. "You really don't handle girl talk well, do you?"

"I guess not… I mean, what did you want me to tell you? I can give you a play by play if you want to see how dark my blush can get." I said with a laugh hoping she would say no, but holding my breath, I never knew what she was going to do.

It took a minute, she was seriously thinking of what to say next. "Are you good with your hands too?" Was what she finally asked. I stood in amazement as she went on, "because I will have you know that I am!" Aw, images that I never wanted to see popped into my head with that statement… terrible images to go along with all the sleep talking.

"I'm, uh, good enough I guess." I started slowly, pushing those pictures out of my head before going on. "I kind of got the job done while getting done myself, if you know what I mean. He didn't have any complaints." Of course now I was second guessing it though. Did I do a good job? I'd have to try it again and make sure, or at least get better at it.

"That's good then. Fun for all." She said, but her mind seemed elsewhere. "Well, keep me posted and remember the code if you get brave enough to have sex."

I looked over at my dads as they took the stage with a moving rendition of the Beatles' "In My Life"; their voices wound around each other so perfectly. Dale took Songbird away for a dance and I leaned against the wall, letting my eyes fall closed as I listened. You could feel that they had felt loss in their life and having each other had made it all worthwhile. I could only hope to have something that special in my life.

"You look awfully lonesome over here by yourself." Rick said softly, pulling me out of my reverie. "Are you okay?"

I hadn't even realized that I had been crying until he wiped a tear from my face with his thumb. "Yeah. I just love this song."

"It's nice, kind of sad though." He leaned beside me, pulling me close to him.

"It's beautiful because it tells the truth." I looked up at him with a smile. "Rick, I…" I trailed off, not exactly sure what I was going to say.

"Hmm?" He asked, leaning in to hear me over the music and talk around us.

"I… this feels really good. What we have, it's good." I wasn't quite sure why I felt the need to say it out loud, but I knew that wasn't exactly what I had meant to say in the first place. I guess I didn't have the balls to come right out and tell him how I felt.

"Yeah. It is." He said, kissing me softly. "It's the best I've ever had."

"Really?" I pulled back to look at him, not really knowing whether to believe he'd never felt like this before or not.

"I swear no one has ever made me feel the way you do." He told me, tracing along my jaw with his thumb. "Ever."

"God, Rick." I let myself kiss him, one long deep kiss. "You know you're probably the only man to ever say something like that and mean it."

He laughed at me, leaning in for another kiss when Carl came over and leaned against his dad.

"I'm tired." He said under a yawn.

"Alright buddy." Rick smiled at him, then gave me a rueful grin. "I'm going take him to bed."

"So, I guess this is goodnight?" I asked, hoping he would disagree.

"I guess so." He gave me one last little kiss before picking up his son and walking away.

I felt a little deflated as I watched him leave room. I turned around and stepped into the privacy of my bedroom, shutting my door to block out the sounds of Songbird and Freddy singing "I need you now". I plopped down on my bed, wishing Rick were laying in it beside me and kicking myself for being so selfish. He has a kid, you have to share him, get over it. But the longing never went away and I fell asleep thinking of how I was going to tell him I loved him.