Chapter 7: To Tame The Drunken
Riker sat at his table in his private dining room. He loved the time he had to be with his wife, Deanna, as her due date was coming up shortly. He didn't know if he would have much time to do such stuff much longer without the interruption of children.
According to the ship's doctor, a Vulcan by the name of Toran, they were going to be having a son. There was a pot going around to see when exactly Deanna would give birth. All but twenty of the crew had already lost. And the remaining twenty were hording the next two weeks.
"How is Dummat?" Deanna asked.
Riker rolled his eyes. "For two hours he was with Mr. Tuvok, berating him for his lack of, what was his exact phrase? 'logical security on a ship full of illogical mortals'."
Deanna chuckled. "I bet that made him less then logical in his responses."
"Tuvok threatened to give him a Vulcan Death Grip if he didn't let him go about his business," Riker said with a wondering look, "Is that a logical response?"
Deanna shook her head, "It looks like Tuvok was about to lose it."
There was a beeping sound from Riker's comm badge and he tapped it. "Riker."
"Captain," Tuvok's voice came through, "We need you to escape pod 3."
"Are you planning a mutiny?" Riker asked, to which Tuvok said, "I assure you, if this was a mutiny, you would already be on your way with your saxophone. Why let that illogical music maker remain on board?"
Riker laughed out loud, "Don't know. What's going on?"
"The ambassador is trying to jettison himself in an escape pod."
Riker frowned slightly. "Do we even have that pod still?"
"No. We lost it near Bajor six weeks ago."
"On my way."
Riker approached the airlock, where three security guards and the ambassador's aides were standing in a crowd, trying to block off the escape pod entrance to Dummat. Riker noticed the glazed, unfocused nature of Dummat's eyes as he approached and Tuvok trying to reason with him.
"It is illogical to try to go out into the escape pod," Tuvok said, holding a hand out to try to reason with him.
"I can do vat I vant," Dummat slurred his words, and swayed as he pointed to the door (he was actually pointing to the floor).
"There is no escape pod," Tuvok reasoned, "Why go a place where you would die?"
"I can hold my bweath for thwee minutes," Dummat said, holding up one finger as he said three.
"Captain," Tuvok said, as Riker pulled up beside him, "It would appear as if our ambassador is drunk."
"Slobbering drunk," Riker muttered, "I can't see how he is still standing."
"Cappin!" Dummat shouted, swaying to Riker, "I wan a ezcop pad."
"I will deal with him," Riker said.
"Very good sir," Tuvok nodded.
Riker then smiled and put his arm around Dummat's shoulders. "I'll take you to an escape pod that works," he said, "You can stay in it as long as you want."
"Does it have wa-wa-" Dummat's eyes crossed.
"Warp?" Riker supplied helpfully.
"Tha's wha IO thad!" Dummat yelled.
Dummat then bent over and vomited all over the floor, some even spattering on Riker's boots.
"I thnk I need a dcter," Dummat weakly replied.
"Let's go see Doctor Toran," Riker agreed.
"I have one qu's'ion Cuptan," Dummat said as they walked away.
"What's that?"
"Your wiff. Will she marry me?" Dummat asked, as serious as a drunk man could be.
Riker raised an eyebrow in surprise. "She's already taken," he replied, steering him towards sickbay.
"Pity," Dummat said, "She's got a nice bum. Have you ever noticed that?"
"If anyone knows," Riker assured him, trying to figure out whether to take him seriously or not, "I do."
"She has vewy pwetty eyes," Dummat laughed, "And she has those very nice-"
He stopped again to vomit again on the ground. Riker could barely contain his laughter.
"Captain."
Riker slowly opened his eyes, muttering curses to himself. He looked at the chrono at his side. It was 3 in the morning. Come on, he thought to himself before tapping his comm badge on the nightstand.
"Whaizit?" he mumbled.
"What was that captain?" a now clear female voice said.
"What do you want?" he asked tiredly.
"We have a bit of a situation in the mess hall," the woman said, Vale he finally figured out.
"What type of situation?" he asked, "Is it Dummat again?"
"You better come see yourself," she said, stressing 'yourself'.
"Alright," he grumbled, "I'll be there in a second."
"Captain," a voice called out behind him.
Riker turned, and saw a dark-skinned Vulcan walking after him. "What's up Tuvok?" he asked, "I have something going on, and I need to get to the Mess Hall."
"I understand Captain," Tuvok said, catching up with him and walking beside him, "I also have a message from your wife."
"A message?" he asked, "Why didn't she just comm me?"
"Communications are down," Tuvok said, "But, your wife has gone into labor."
"Communications can't be down," Riker said, frowning slightly, "I just got called by Vale about a situation going on in the hall."
"That is not possible," Tuvok replied, "I was with her when she tried to contact you."
"We both can't be correct," Riker said back.
Suddenly they could hear shots being fired from the Mess Hall. They both at once ran down there, opened the doors, and watched as two masked assailants fled, leaving Dummat lying on the floor along with his aides. Tuvok rushed up and bent over, and put his fingers to their pulses.
Slowly he looked up, "They're dead."
