A/T: Most of you saw the revelation on this chapter coming. I don't know what's going to happen on the show but one thing is for sure. We need this confrontation.

As always my thanks to Callen37 for her help and huge support.

Enjoy!


The sun has almost come up and Deeks waits patiently at the hospital for Booker to wake up.

Even though Booker was barely conscious when they found him in the panic room, he demanded to be transported to this specific private medical clinic. Of course he didn't trust the public Afghan medical system and this facility was the closest to Kabul.

Deeks discretely looks around trying to evaluate the quality of the services provided and so far, he is quite satisfied. It isn't exactly equal to the western civilization, but it's descent.

If Kensi needs medical attention, he is definitely bringing her here rather than any other hospital.

Kensi!

He sighs just thinking about her. She is out there, somewhere waiting for him and what is he doing? Just sitting around, doing literally nothing. He still has no clue as to who abducted her and why and he is quickly losing what's left of his sanity.

The worst part though, is not knowingwhether she is still alive.

What is he saying?

Of course she is alive. Death is not an option. He is not prepared to lose her yet. Maybe he will never be.

He drinks the last sip of his fourth coffee and takes a glance at Callen and Sam. They refused to leave his side during the night, but fatigue soon takes over them and they both fell asleep.

Well, Callen as always is not exactly sleeping. He is cat napping.

He takes a deep breath and gets up. Even though he knows the answer, he walks over to the nurse and asks her for the 100th time if he can see Booker.

"I've already told you detective, we will call you as soon as he is awake," the nurse snaps at him clearly sick of his constant asking.

He runs his hand through his hair in frustration. He has no idea what to do. It's been more than 48 hours since Kensi disappeared. He can't even dare to think what she must be going through, while he just sits here helpless. He should be out there trying to find her, not wandering around like a lost soul.

Fine, he is not trained for the Afghan terrain -Kensi would make a nasty comment about his delicate skin complexion if she were here- but he is sure as hell determined to find her.

And when he finds the Ghost….he will destroy him.

He is so lost in his thoughts that he is taken by surprise when he feels an hand on his shoulder and quickly turns around.

"Oh, I am sorry man. I didn't mean to startle you." Reilly removes his hand.

"That's ok. I didn't expect to see you here, that's all. Do you have any news?" he begs with his eyes for a positive answer but he knows it won't come.

Reilly shakes his head. "I am sorry. What's new on Booker?"

"The sedatives should wear off any minute now. The nurses said they will call us," he throws away his empty cup and moves to the vending machine to get a new dose of caffeine.

"How many of these have you actually drunk?" Reilly looks worried at him.

"I don't know…four…five maybe."

"You've got to stay sharp man. If Booker has indeed a lead and we have to move immediately, you'll have to be on your a-game. You should get some sleep and I'll wait."

Deeks can't deny that despite the numerous coffees he's drank, his eyelids still feel heavy and every muscle of his body is aching. Reilly is right. If he wants to help Kensi, he needs to be rested and focused.

"Ok," he nods. "I'll crash on the couch in the waiting room with the others. What about you though? Don't you need some sleep?"

"Don't worry about me. Trust me, I am fine," he takes the coffee from Deek's hand and takes a sip. "Now, go lie down. It's already 5 am and I bet he'll be up in a couple of hours and he'll help us get Kens back."

Deeks walks slowly towards the couch but stops for a moment.

Kens?

First of all he never mentioned her name to Reilly. Then again, he must have heard it from Granger back in the base camp. But Kens? That's a pretty intimate reference.

"I am sorry," he turns to face Reilly "I didn't catch your name."

"Oh, you are right. It's Jack. Jack Reilly," he extends his arm for a hand shake.

Jack?

Deeks eyes widen and suddenly his heart stops. Could it be really him? That explains his eagerness to help them find Kensi, his hatred towards Sabatino, his kindness towards himself. To be honest, this is not how he pictured him to be.

Jack reads his mind and removes his hand. "I assumed you know who I am."

Deeks swallows hard. "I've heard about you."

"From Kensi?"

"Yeah."

"So you probably know about our history."

Deeks just nods.

"Look, I am not proud of what I did. I really loved her. I did! But I couldn't make her happy," he looks on the floor quite embarrassed.

"It's not my business anyway. You should have this conversation with Kensi once we get her back. She deserves to know. She needs closure."

"I know. I should have written her a letter."

"No, you should have talked to her. You should have explained," Deeks raises his voice a bit but once he sees the nurses glaring at him, he motions Jack to follow him outside the hospital and soon they are alone. "Did you plan on telling us….ever?" Deeks is the first to speak.

"To be honest with you….no! I tried to find her a couple of years ago and I always hit a wall. No address, nothing registered to her name….it was like she didn't exist. Until one day, I got a call from Henrietta Lange, her operation manager and she assured me that Kensi was perfectly well and that she had moved on."

He got a call from Hetty? Why isn't Deeks surprised that she is hiding behind this.

"I didn't know she was here," Jack continues "and I surely didn't know she was the agent missing. But now, I have to help you guys find her. I owe it to her. And once she is safe, I'll be out of your life. She doesn't even need to know I was here."

Deeks listens carefully to him and even though he should be mad, there is some sincerity in Jack's words. "If you love her, then why did you leave her like that?"

"I told you. I couldn't make her happy. At that time I was like a junkie in constant need for a fix. Only my fix was adrenaline. I felt like I was rotting here. I was useless. She did everything she could but it wasn't enough because I simply didn't want to be saved. I loved her, but I loved my job more."

"Do you realize what you did to her?" Deeks snaps at him "You destroyed her. You killed her. You broke her heart. How could you do that to her? Fine, you wanted out. The least you could do was talk to her. She didn't deserve to be treated like that."

"No she didn't," Jack agrees and stares the ground in shame "she deserved someone better. That is why I left. I am not arguing, I was a coward for sneaking out in the middle of the night. But I couldn't stand to watch the disappointment in her eyes. The misery."

Deeks crosses his arms in front of him. "As I've said, it's not really my business but hear this. I will not let you hurt her again."

Jack smiles. "I didn't plan on it. I don't want to walk in the middle of…something."

Deeks blushes and loses his words. "Something?Thing? What make you think…? There is no….Well there is but….It's complicated and…..I should better stop talking right now."

"You are the man she deserves. You are the man that I couldn't be for her. " Jack states before heading back inside.

Deeks can't answer to that. He just gives him a soft smiles and walks back in the hospital to finally get some sleep. Jack wasn't at all how he pictured him to be. Well, actually his physical appearance was no surprise. Tall and masculine like himself, but with brown neat hair and a hint of stubble, He wonders how Kensi fell in love with two men that are so different. Yes, Jack is not the asshole he always thought he'd be, but still, he seems much more disciplined than himself.

He lies on the couch but his fears don't let him sleep immediately. How will Kensi react to his presence. Should he consider him as a threat?No! She is over him. No matter what they had, it isn't nearly as strong as their own "thing". They share the same love, trust, faith. He can't imagine his life with her by his side. These past 3 months have been a nightmare and he only made it though cause he was confident that Kensi would come back to him. Then, they would finally pick up where they left off.

She loves him.

Even though she hasn't said the actual words, she's proved it with her actions.

She loves him and she would never betray him. Jack is history. She might punch him in the face when she sees him, but that will be it.

Jack chose his life here in Afghanistan, but Kensi chose her life along with Deeks. Soon, all his fears are forgotten. He is hers, and she is his. Nothing and no one will break them apart.

Finally, Deeks manages to close his eyes and drift into the wonderful world of dreams. A world where they are both back home safe and sound. Will it come true, or will the dream turn into a nightmare?