Derek-
I watch in slow motion as Stiles begins to drop to the floor. I'm at his side in a millisecond, his limp body caught in my arms before it has a chance to hit the ground.
No. No no no no. I tune my hearing to listen for a breath, a heartbeat, anything to signal that the boy in my arms was still alive. I hear nothing. Bringing my mouth down to his, I fill his lungs with my air twice before beginning to pump his chest.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
He can't die. I can't lose one more person that I love in this fucked-up world.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine.
Ten.
I listen for something, for anything to show me he'll be okay. Silence.
I hear the Sheriff start to wake up from his spot on the couch. He can't find me here, over his son's non-responsive body. I give Stiles two more lungfuls of air, push his bookcase over to sound like him falling, and climb out the window just as his father enters the room.
I begin to shake as I sit outside on the roof, listening to everything that happens inside the room. The cry of fear that comes from his father as he figures out that Stiles isn't breathing terrifies me. He calls an ambulance and I hear the thud. thud. thud. of his hands cracking Stiles' ribcage, and he's crying, muttering a prayer asking that God won't take his son, not his son too.The complete terror in his voice cracks a wall inside me and I feel myself beginning to cry silently as the ambulance arrives and departs quickly, taking Stiles with it.
I arrive at the hospital before the ambulance and immediately detect Scott's scent, coming from a door practically straight ahead. I'm no longer thinking clearly; my mind is a jumbled mess as I barge straight into the Physician break room and almost directly into Scott and Mrs. McCall. He stands up immediately as he sees the look on my face and I indistinctly hear words coming from my mouth in a voice I barely recognize as my own.
"Stiles… Sick… Something's wrong… No pulse…"
I feel a quick breeze as him and his mother rush by me and out of the room, but I can't seem to make myself move at all. I stand still, staring at the back wall for a few minutes until I regain a semi-understandable thought process and run out of the room towards Stiles' scent.
Time passes by in slow motion. I'm sitting on the ground next to Scott in the waiting room, barely listening to him rambling as I remember the way Stiles' hands feel on my face, the way his smile looks when he watches me, the tender way he kisses my lips whenever he thinks I'm sleeping. I run a hand over my face, tracing the last gentle touch he had given me before his heart stopped. I shake out of my trance when I hear Scott's voice saying my name.
"Derek? Derek?"
I look over at him, my face a hollow shell. No anger, no sadness, nothing breaks through. His eyes widen when he sees the state I'm in and he repeats my name again, softer this time.
"Derek… I'm so scared… how do you make yourself not feel anything?"
I look at the tears running down his face and whisper back my answer.
"I'm terrified."
He puts a reassuring arm around my shoulders without even asking why I care so much about his best friend and we both sit there, him crying in silence and me staring back at the wall as we wait for news.
xxx
Mrs. McCall comes into the waiting room about an hour later, clasping her hands together before she begins to talk.
"His heart stopped because of a cardiac embolism. A clot had formed in a blood vessel down in his right leg. It detached and traveled up to his heart, sticking in an intake vessel up there causing not enough blood to be brought into his heart, which then caused the cardiac arrest. He was lucky though. The clot was small enough that it was broken up within the first minute of CPR." She smiles over at the Sheriff, who hadn't left his seat by the door once. "His heart restarted in the ambulance when they shocked it, and once he got here we put him on an anti-coagulant to break down any remaining clots. His EEG showed normal brain function, and they're estimating he'll be awake within the hour. He's going to be fine, guys."
I sit completely still and watch Scott hug his mom, followed quickly by Stiles' father. One of them asks hurriedly if they can see him, she nods and they quickly walk out the door after her.
I go back to staring at the wall as I completely break down and cry.
I wait until later in the evening to go see him, after visiting hours were over and everyone went home. All of his friends had come over to see him- Isaac, Lydia, Allison, Danny- even Cora. Scott never left his side and neither did his father, until Scott's mom pushed them all out with the promise of her constantly monitoring his heart rate through the night. I wait in the parking lot until the last of their cars had left and then silently walk up to Stiles' window from the outside. My heart skips a beat as I look inside and see how frail he looks, shivering even with all of his blankets pulled up to his chin. It only takes a second before I open the window and enter his room, the strong smell of antiseptic hitting me like a brick as I step over to his bed and climb in beside him, taking care not to pull on any wires as I wrap my arms around him and hold him to me.
His shivering slows down as I hold him, giving him my body heat and taking away as much of his pain as I can with arms. I feel him begin to stir as I shudder slightly at his pain running through my veins. His eyes open sluggishly and look right at me. He smiles and reaches up a hand to wipe away a tear falling down my face.
"I'm sorry I scared you."
His voice is raspy. I lean in to plant a soft kiss on his chapped lips.
"Don't you even try and feel bad for me. I'm just so happy you're okay… I thought…" My voice hitches as the emotions close up in my throat. I start crying harder and he just kisses me over and over, reassuring me when it should be the other way around.
"I started pumping your chest…" I snort unceremoniously mid-sentence as I tried to control my crying. "…and breathing for you… but your dad started coming up so I had to go out the window…" I grab his face in my hands. "Don't ever leave me Stiles. I love you."
I stare at him, feeling more vulnerable than I ever had as I looked for a response in his eyes. He inhales sharply, eyes widening as he realizes what I just said. In an instant his lips find mine and he kisses me, so deeply and needy that I feel like I might melt right then and there. He finally breaks the kiss, and if it hadn't been for my over-tuned wolf hearing I might not have heard him whisper "I love you too," with parted lips softly brushing over my own. I pull him closer and lay my head in his neck, watching over him while he sleeps until finally I drift off to the steady sound of his heartbeat.
