Chapter 7
An Imperfect Life – The Accident
Wednesday, January 17th
Owen sat on the couch in his office, staring at the plant in the far corner. As he began to recount the accident, he seemed vacant and distant. Avoiding an emotional connection with his words, he unconsciously hoped, would keep the retelling sterile.
"It was a Friday. The kids' last day of school," Owen began blankly. "I had just spoken to Nolan that morning. He was so anxious about Lissa. It had been just over two months since she miscarried Karina at 16 weeks. All of us were experiencing various degrees of raw grief. Lissa did not appear to be doing well at all. Truthfully, I was almost more worried about Nolan. His life revolved around tending to Lissa and completing the term at school. I was concerned he wasn't taking time for himself or time to grieve. And I was fairly certain that Lissa was in no position to support him – she was vacant… hollow…" Owen's voice trailed off as he wiped a tear from his eye.
Nancy gently redirected, "Tell me what happened after you spoke to Nolan."
"Victoria had physical therapy that afternoon and, for whatever reason, Lucas was particularly clingy that week. He wanted to go to PT so he could be with Amelia. I can't remember why… there was something going on," Owen paused, trying to recall specifics but deciding to proceed instead. "We were going different directions that day. Amelia was picking up Ria and Lucas from school. I saw her in the parking lot at St. Frances," he recalled with a gently chuckle. "I walked over to kiss her. The kids all cringed."
Smiling gently, Nancy sought to clarify, "You picked up Ryder, Olivia, and Annabelle?"
"Yeah," Owen confirmed, distancing himself emotionally. "I had the Enclave. I can't remember what Amelia was driving. Maybe Ryder's car? No… no, he wasn't sixteen yet. It couldn't have been my Boxster – she needed seating for three." He shook his head and commented, "I can't always recall all the details."
"That's not a problem, Owen," Nancy encouraged. "Share what you remember. Did you have special plans with Ryder, Olivia, and Anna?"
"Special? Well, not really. Both Mia and I had arranged to have that day and the weekend off. We wanted to begin the summer with some solid family time. We originally planned to go down to LA, but Lissa was in no shape for a house full of visitors. The week before, we talked with Nolan and he agreed. We decided to have a staycation – we were going to take the kids all around Seattle. You know… people seldom sightsee in their own surroundings," Owen pointed out.
Although Owen was not aware of his intentions, Nancy noted that he veered off at nearly every opportunity. He described inconsequential details and lost his focus easily. Again, she nudged him back to the topic at hand, "So you were headed directly home from school?"
Owen shook his head. "No. I had picked Olivia up first – she goes to a different school than the others. It's just down the street, which is convenient. I'd picked her up – I think she was about 11 at the time. She was so damn precious. Those bouncy red curls and her adoration for her daddy. She popped into the car with joy and hugged me tightly. Her round blue eyes looked my way and before I knew it, she'd talked me into stopping for ice cream after we picked up Ry and Anna. You know what? Before the accident, Anna wasn't really much of a snuggler at all. It's strange, isn't it? Just as Livie was beginning to grow up and not be Daddy's little girl, her sister ended up assuming the role. The sister who none of us would have ever predicted to be our Velcro girl. That's what Amelia calls her when the two of us chat about our kids – the Velcro girl. After that day… June 16th… Anna has always held on to me tightly."
"Tell me about that, Owen," Nancy nudged, aware that she was skipping the next step in the story.
"About Anna, the Velcro girl?" Owen grinned.
"Yes, tell me why you think she changed that day," Nancy requested.
Owen inhaled slowly and deeply before running his hands through his hair, "It had to have been the worst day of her life. I guess she began clinging to me because she'd been so scared at the scene. She couldn't find me, and when she did, I was a sight to behold." He paused and covered his face with his hands, mumbling from behind them, "I wish I could redo that day. Every day, I wish I could erase that day. June 16th. Sixteen car pileup, sixteen deaths at the scene. I was surrounded by sixteens." He stopped and began breathing more rapidly.
"Nice deep breaths," Nancy reminded him. "Take a second to center." Owen leaned his head back on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. His hands remained over his face, but now his fingers were clinging to his hair. Without moving, Owen apologized, "I can't continue, Nancy. I'm sorry. I can't relive it. Not right now."
"Shall we take a break or would you like me to summarize what I have in the file?" Nancy inquired, hoping to provide Owen with a sense of control over the memories of an out of control trauma.
Owen pulled his head up and removed his hands from his face. He nodded and shared, "I think I can listen. What's written there?"
"Tell me to stop if it becomes overwhelming," Nancy encouraged before reading. "This is from the police report. The driver, Dr. Owen Hunt, was heading South on I-5. His three children, ages 6, 11, and 14, were in the car with him. Driver and 14 year old son witnessed a high speed brutal impact that sent four cars cascading down past the road's shoulder and verge. Another two cars went to the left and spun but remained on the freeway. Another two vehicles slammed violently into the Jersey barrier and experienced serious damage. The car that had made the initial impact ended up enveloped by a tenth car – a large truck..."
Owen closed his eyes and nodded. With a throaty voice, he confirmed, "Yep. That was the beginning. I was maybe a mile behind the scene. I immediately hit my hazards and pulled off the freeway past the verge. I didn't want to be on the shoulder in case another car coming up from behind needed to swerve to avoid another accident."
"How did the kids react?" Nancy asked.
"Ryder saw everything. I remained calm, which helped set the tone. He threw out some Ryder-like expletive. 'What the f# $' or something. I remember calmly telling him that his reactions would affect his sisters' reactions. Anna was asleep. Olivia was half asleep and half engaged in a book. The girls didn't really know what was happening. I was able to pull off slowly. I was in control of the Enclave the entire time. They didn't react."
"What happened next?" Nancy wondered aloud.
"I took a slow breath. I bore my eyes into Ryder and insisted he stay in the car with the girls. He insisted he would accompany me," Owen explained. "I didn't want to take the time to argue. I turned to Livs and very firmly instructed her to stay with Anna. Ryder gave Livie his cell phone – she already knew how to use it – and we both told her to call my phone for any reason. She was calm in the midst of chaos. In the background, I heard more cars crash. I'm sure she heard it too, but she didn't panic."
He continued, "I exited the car and opened the back to grab my med bag. I remember being thankful that I'd been driving the Enclave all week and had moved the bag from the Boxster. Mia and I organize and stock our bags so differently – it would have been hard to use hers. I put an orange vest on Ryder and threw on a fleece I had in the back. It had a red cross on it. Ryder listened to me when I instructed him to grab random items that might be useful: a stray coat one of the kids had left in the car, a couple metal hangers, a small cooler, duct tape, a couple permanent markers."
After pausing and resting his chin in his hand, Owen nodded, "I remember specifically looking at Ryder and being incredibly clear that he needed to completely follow any directions I gave him. I told him he was in my OR and I was not Dad. I was the doctor in charge. He nodded in response, surprised to see that side of me."
"You were at the Enclave, materials in hand," Nancy reflected.
"Yeah. A semi had pulled off the verge after me. He had flares and was a large guy. He'd already called 911. I told him I was a doctor. We decided I'd head toward the victims and he'd attempt to manage the traffic until police arrived. Before I knew it, all the nearby cars had flashers on and flares were placed. The semi guy arranged a group of people to walk back and inform the traffic behind them that the situation was dire. Everyone stepped up. He sent a couple nurses and a CNA my way. There we were, in the midst of this giant accident that had now grown to sixteen cars total. Four of us with medical training and a determined teenaged kid. That was my staff. There were 50 people in those sixteen cars. The ratios were grim."
"Meanwhile, Anna and Olivia were in the Enclave," Nancy clarified.
"Yes. As far as I knew," Owen responded. "Sixteen cars, five responders. I had two sets of tapes and one of the nurses had a set, so I sent the nurses and CNA to triage. Without knowing statuses, it was difficult to know what to do next. I decided to head toward a school bus. As we ran over, I instructed Ryder to open the back door or to get the kids to do so. Anyone able to walk needed to be ushered to the shoulder of the road. I told Ry to stay with them until further notice. He impressed the hell out of me. You would've sworn his was a trained first responder. After moving the kids who could walk, he disregarded my instructions but proceeded intelligently. He walked around to the other cars, encouraging anyone else who could walk to join the kids. He cleared the field for us quickly. He left a mother with three kids who had minor injuries in charge of the uninjured and asked two guys in their mid-twenties to follow him so they could help me."
"The nursing assistant ran up to me as I was examining the bus driver. I reached for her black tape and marked the man. The impact had killed him. There were three kids near the driver who were also unresponsive… no pulse, no breath sounds. Two were obviously dead – severed body parts, let's leave it at that. I had to assume the third kid was gone. When I checked back later, she was."
"Everyone was tagged and the nurses had expertly set up an area for treatment. We still heard no sirens. Not even on the other side of the freeway. Apparently the backup was so bad in both directions that emergency crews couldn't reach us. We regrouped quickly. At that point, the count was thirteen dead, six immediate, ten delayed, three minor. Of the nineteen needing treatment, five were stuck in their cars. I explained the dangers of removing the accident victims to the guys in their 20s. They had some fence boards in the back of their truck – those were our makeshift backboards. I sent a nurse with them for medical interventions. That was three responders on five patients in four cars with three in need of immediate attention, and two delayed."
"Their assignment left me, another nurse, the assistant plus Ryder for the eleven remaining. We had three immediate – all in one car, eight delayed, no minors, seven cars total. The rest of the cars belonged to those dead on the scene or the uninjured. I had the RN go to one van where the mom had died. Her three kids were alive and one was uninjured. The CNA went to another van where three were dead, one delayed and one uninjured, then she went to a car with two delayed – they were related to one of the couples that were stuck in their car. Ryder helped three delayed to the treatment area. That left me with the most serious situation: a young couple with a 16 week old baby – all immediate."
"Owen," Nancy pointed out, "You're able to recall numbers and treatment details vividly."
"It's what I do every day," Owen shrugged.
"Hmm," Nancy pondered. "And Olivia and Anna?"
"Not much time had actually passed. I assumed they were in the Enclave," Owen explained.
"Tell me what you were doing when you saw Annabelle. Can we skip to that?" Nancy suggested.
"I was still treating the couple with the baby. We were losing the Mom – weak pulse, eyes were rolling back, profuse abdominal bleeding. By this point, Ryder was gloved and grasping Dad's heart to slow a bleed. I wasn't sure if Dad would make it either. Ry stayed stone calm and followed every direction precisely. I was working on the baby – it was a little girl, just like Nolan and Lissa's baby who would've been about the same age. The baby had a contusion on her skull – something had flown and hit her during impact. Her breathing was erratic – more from panic than anything else. Fast pulse. I almost lost her twice. She ended up surviving in the end, so did her dad."
"Mom?" Nancy inquired.
"Died in the OR… in my OR," Owen mumbled.
"That was later," Nancy clarified.
"Yeah," Owen responded blankly.
"But Anna…" Nancy reminded him gently.
"At one point, I'm working on the baby and trying to advise the nurse regarding the Mom. I looked up and there's my Annabelle. She was absolutely terrified. Quietly crying. Hugging herself," Owen recounted.
"What about Olivia?" Nancy wondered.
"She'd fallen asleep. When Anna woke up, she was disoriented and began searching for me. From what we can surmise, Anna saw many of the dead bodies, severed limbs and serious injuries on her way to find me. Everyone was so busy working, I'll bet nobody even noticed her," Owen recalled with closed eyes. "I was in full throttle doctor mode. I called to Anna to come next to me. I bellowed. I scared her. She probably thought she was in trouble, and she ran off."
"I couldn't leave the baby. I couldn't send Ryder after her or the dad would bleed out. I called for her over and over. Paramedics found her hiding in the school bus under a seat later. She would have had to have passed the four dead bodies in the front of the bus to climb inside," Owen explained with deep regret. "By the time she ran off, paramedics and choppers were beginning to arrive. The scene was organized chaos."
"When did you see Anna next?" Nancy questioned.
"Oh… hours later. I flew in with the mom and the baby. They were so close to death. I left Ryder there to call Amelia or Lynne. By that point, he'd informed Olivia about everything and insisted she stay in or near the Enclave. She did. She heard the chaos but didn't see any of it. I felt like the worst father in the world."
"But you were in the process of saving two lives," Nancy pointed out.
"A dedicated trauma surgeon, then, but still a horrible father," Owen stated stone cold. "I didn't even know where Anna was. She could have been abducted or hurt… and I left her fourteen year old brother to unscramble the situation. I'm surprised Amelia didn't leave me the second she learned what had happened."
