Of course I didn't go looking for trouble; it always seems to find me. That was the case until tonight. I had been wandering around the bonfire, talking a little but not much. Mostly being a ghost, floating around people but never interacting. Angela pulled me out of my daze by screaming through her drunken stupor, "Bella," she stumbled over to me and almost fell to the ground at my feet. I reached out to brace her but she somehow regained her balance, "You stupid thing, going off and getting married. Are you going to be one of those washed up housewives that has no career or dreams?"
For as drunk as she looked she was managing to string together sentences quite well.
"You know you could do so much better than him. Sure he's good looking but he's also creepy at the same time. You are really going to give up your freedom before you see the rest of the world and all the other guys it has to offer."
My breath caught in my throat and I choked back a sob. I had thought about that, everyday in fact but I always told myself that to leave everything behind was better than not having Edward. I don't know why her saying it made me panic, but that's what I did, "Angela, I have to go. Go get yourself something to eat and some water."
I took off at a run, not knowing or caring where I would end up. It didn't matter to me at that moment. All I knew was that I needed to get away and quickly. I pushed through the trees that fringed the gravel pit and found myself standing on the edge of a long and windy dirt road. The noise from the party was echoing and I couldn't believe how loud it was. It seemed to be louder away from it than it was right in the middle.
Not wanting to head back to the party I started to walk. I knew the way back to town, and I also knew that even if I walked quickly I wouldn't get back for at least twenty minutes. I set off at a steady pace the whole time wishing I had brought my truck. After five minutes of walking I was finally getting in to the stride and I was almost enjoying it. The sky was overcast and so there was little to no light on some parts of the road. My foot landed in a hole and I caught myself before it twisted my ankle.
There was a noise in the bush and with a squeal I set off at a run, finally realizing how stupid it was to leave the party. I couldn't help but wonder why Alice hadn't sent Edward after me, unless she was thinking it was still a vision of what was to come. My body shook in fear, nobody knew where I was. Anything could happen and I was all alone.
My pace sped up as it only can when you have adrenalin pumping through your veins. I hadn't run this fast in a long time, if ever.
The speed allowed me to see the lights of town after 10 minutes instead of 20, not bad for how clumsy and out of shape I usually am. When I slowed to a walk in town I started to think about what I was going to do now. I couldn't go back to the Cullen's, not yet at least. Well I couldn't go inside, I could go and get my truck and then go for a drive.
Spinning around in the opposite direction I started to walk back to the place I was now calling home.
When I reached the house it was aglow with the lights from inside shining through all of the windows. My truck was sitting in the driveway and I jumped into the cab. Knowing how loud the truck was when it started but having no other choice I turned the key in the ignition and cringed. It was so loud it sounded like it could wake the dead.
Thankfully nobody came running out after me, it was sort of strange I had to admit that nobody was stopping me.
The truck bumped down the drive and turned onto the street. Now with my truck where could I go? I drove around town for a little while and then pulled onto the road to La Push. I don't know what made me do it but I knew that this was they way I wanted to go. I made it there in fifteen minutes and drove through the small village to the Black's place. I cut the engine and sat looking at the house cloaked in darkness. Suddenly a calm washed over me. I didn't hear him walk up beside my truck, I only heard a light rap on my window. A squeal escaped my lips and I jumped away from the window. The silhouette of his face was all that I could make out from the lack of light, but it was enough. Hastily I wound down the window and a burst of cool air rushed in alongside with his head.
"What are you doing here Bella?" he demanded.
"I…ah…Okay you want the truth?"
"That would be nice."
"I honestly don't know."
"Cut the crap Bella, what are you doing here?"
"I told you. Well I better be going, it's obvious that it was a mistake coming here," I reached to turn the ignition but he put a hand on my shoulder.
"Man you stink, have you been rolling around with those monsters?"
I don't know what I thought I could accomplish by coming here but it wasn't happening. Maybe the best thing for me was what I had just left behind. There had to be some reason why I kept kicking myself over and over again.
"Goodbye Jacob. I probably won't see you again so take care, of yourself and Billy," before he could react I had the truck started and into gear.
"Bella wait," he ran after my truck.
My foot involuntarily hit the breaks and the truck screeched to a stop. Damn almost a clean break.
"Please don't do it. You can come stay with me, if you don't want to go back to Charlie, but please don't marry Cullen and defiantly don't let him bite you," he was begging with every ounce of effort he had in him. His large eyes stared at me and I had to turn away as to not be captured under their power.
"I needed some time to think and I know I have to go, I've made my decision."
"Bella, you've second guessed yourself once now, who's to say you won't do it again? What if it's too late?"
I needed to get out of there before he saw the tears about to overflow.
"I'm really sorry Jacob."
"Please…I love you, and I think you love me," he shouted it out as a last attempt.
"No Jake, I love you but not like that. I have to go," I shifted the truck back into gear and sped away. I could see him standing in the middle of the road watching me drive away. As soon as I rounded the corner the tears started to fall. I cried all the way back to town. Once I reached the sleeping town I drove over to the highway.
When I could barely see the highway in front of me I figured it best to pull over before I had to be scraped of the pavement. I found a rest stop and pulled into it. As soon as it went quite my head flopped so it was resting up against the window. Having enough common sense I reached over and made sure both doors were locked and only then did I drift off into a restless sleep.
I didn't know where I was going, or if anybody was going to come stop me. What I did know was that I was so confused and I had just pushed Jacob away after all he wanted to do was help. I had told him I'd chosen Edward over him, but that was just an excuse. No I really had no clue what I was going to do now. Maybe to go and meet up with Renee would be the best option. Spend my days on a beach in Florida.
Maybe Edward wasn't the answer to everything. Maybe.
xxx.:.x.:.xxx
a/n so our Bella's having a bit of regret? Please review and tell me what you think. You guys were so great at the start sending in all your reviews but they have now dwindled to 1 if in any now. Do you guys not like it?
Okay I have a question.
Do you guys…
Love Jacob and want him and Bella to get together
Love Jacob but as a friend to Bella
Love Edward and want Bella to choose him over Jacob and get it over with and stop with all the angst
My answer is C and I really want to hear what you guys think.
