Chapter 7: Mistake
Blair sat in her bathtub, filled to the brim with bubbles, as she prepared for school, the week had been complicated. Returning to school with Serena by her side had gone better than expected, but even though Serena swore she didn't want her title as Queen back, there would always be a part of her that questioned the sincerity of that statement. Things with Chuck hadn't gone anywhere because she couldn't find him. Every call went to voicemail, when she went by The Palace he was never there. She had searched his penthouse high and low assuming the front desk girl was lying but he had been nowhere insight. Whenever she showed up to one of his usual haunts she was always greeted with reports that she'd just missed him, which was infuriating. At school he was like a ghost, she might catch a glimpse of the back of his head, or see his trademark scarf flutter around a corner, but by the time she'd reach his former location he'd have disappeared down another hallway. She'd never realized how sneaky he was until she was the one he was avoiding. Blair's train of thought was interrupted by an expected knock on the bathroom door.
"Come in." Blair responded, as she made sure the bubbles covered all her bits and pieces. Nate entered the room hesitantly waiting for Blair to gasp in horror and send him on his way. "Nate, come in already."
He looked down at her before quickly turning around to face the other wall, "Blair you're naked, how is this an appropriate meeting place."
"Oh calm down. I'm not shy, just turn around and talk to me." Nate did so begrudgingly, "besides, its nothing you haven't seen before." Blair shot him a cheeky smile.
Nate returned with a humorless grin that disappeared as quickly as it had arrived, "Chuck will murder me when he finds out I was in here while you were bathing."
"Well you didn't leave me much choice of being able to talk to you. You are always off with Chuck, which has meant I've barely seen you all week. You're not avoiding me too, are you?"
"Its not you I'm avoiding." Nate mumbled. "I mean can you blame me, you and Serena have been glued at the hip all week."
"All your talk about is forgiveness and you still run and hide at the very mention of her name. It's a little hypocritical, no?"
"I don't want to talk about me and Serena, there is no me and Serena. Why am I here?"
"Because, you are my pipeline to Chuck. How is he?"
"He's fine."
"What's he been up to?"
"The usual."
"Is he ok? Is he still mad?" Blair asked growing increasingly frustrated, "Have you even talked to him?"
"He's still mad, we've talked."
"Care to elaborate?"
"No, not really."
"Nate, you're my friend too, so I'd appreciate an answer that requires more than four syllables."
"What do you want me to say? He's upset, he feels betrayed-"
"He slept with Serena! That's betrayal, and I've forgiven him for it."
"Look, you are my friend Blair, but Chuck's my bro and when push comes to shove I have to have his back, which means I can't divulge all my info to you so you can use to get him back."
"Chuck's always happier when we're together, so really you'd be helping him." Blair pleaded, Nate looked sternly at her.
"I have to go back home, Chuck's picking me up in a bit and he can't know I met with the enemy."
"You know I'll get him back, you're just prolonging the process."
"And when you do I will jump for joy because it will mean the end of sad, depression Chuck. However until then…" Nate shrugged.
"Yeah, yeah bro code. Just go, you're even more useless then my minions."
"Yeah, you should tell Hazel that when tailing someone, you shouldn't walk directly behind them in a trench coat and beret."
"I so have to get rid of her." Blair sighed, "Look can you at least tell me this?"
"What?"
"Is Chuck still coming to the Masquerade?"
"Even when he was an underclassmen and not allowed, he always managed to go. He wouldn't miss it."
"Good," Blair smiled. "One more question, what mask is he wearing?"
"You know I think this might be the first time in your entire relationship where you are the chaser and not the chasey." Serena commented as she helped Blair look for Chuck in the courtyard.
"For good reason, because apparently I suck at it! I can't find him, how am I supposed to make everything right if he won't talk to me, god if he won't even let me locate him!" Blair checked gossip girl for the hundredth time that morning to see if he'd been spotted.
"Maybe you should take the hint, you know? What did you say when he was trying to get you back?"
"I said I needed time."
"So give him time. Let him process, calm down and forgive on his own time table."
Blair stopped and thought over Serena's words carefully, "No. I'm going to make him talk to me, I'm going to force him to forgive me and the we'll live happily ever after."
"Well as long as you're being reasonable."
"Look, I know Chuck. When he's upset he indulges in all his self-destructive vices."
"So you're doing this for him?" Serena questioned, seeing right through Blair's bullshit.
"Exactly."
"It has nothing to do with the fact that you miss him, and you realized that the all mighty Blair Waldorf actually screwed up this time. That for once you are on his shit list. For once you have to apologize to Chuck."
"Nope." Blair answered petulantly.
"Then you are such a humanitarian."
"Thank you, S. Now either zip the lip and help me find him or you will be back on my shit list.
"Look, we both now if Chuck doesn't want someone to find him they won't. He's Houdini in an ascot, so take a chill pill and wait for him to come to you."
"You are so lazy. No wonder you and Nate are still broken up." Serena cringed at the reminder, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring him up. I know it pisses both of you off when ever I talk about it."
"No its fine. I'm letting him be angry, and once he has calmed down I will talk to him like an adult and convince him to forgive me and take me back."
"Good luck with that. You're being way too passive about this."
"And you are being way too aggressive."
"If you want something, you have to take it."
"Chuck isn't a table at Butter or a lead in the school play. You can't go after everything headfirst."
"Well while you were waiting at the bar and playing the nurse, I was enjoying a four course meal at the hottest restaurant and staring as Juliet in the spring production. Just like while I am taking Chuck to cotillion you'll be sifting through a dozen of date offers, all of which who aren't Nate."
"You are free to handle things your way, but I'm going to be patient and wait him out."
"Patience has never been your forte, S."
"Says the girl who's never waited in a line all her life."
"Whatever, anyways are you coming this Saturday?"
"To what?" Serena asked confusedly.
"Oh crap, I've been so caught up in Chuck drama I forgot to invite you. The Masquerade is this Saturday. Everyone's going, even Chuck. I managed to get Nate to reveal which mask he's going to be wearing. He'll have his guard down because he'll think he's incognito and then I'll ambush him!"
"That's a totally normal relationship tactic, " Serena said sarcastically, "How is it I haven't even heard a word about the Masquerade all month?"
"Back when we were enemy's, I may have threatened all the upperclassmen not to tell you about it." Serena turned to glare at Blair, "But that's all in the past now! I'm inviting you, you're going, I'll have Dorota get you a dress and a mask. It'll be fabulous!"
"Have you seen him?" Blair questioned her voice filled with nerves as she scanned the crowd. The masquerade was in full swing, but Serena has been forced to spend the whole evening following Blair around as her best friend searched desperately for Chuck.
"It's a Masquerade, Blair. Isn't the point that you can't tell who the other person is?" Serena questioned in annoyance. She had hoped to talk to Nate, but had had no such luck.
"I told you, he's wearing a red devil's mask."
"How appropriate." Serena said under her breath as she continued to look for him. "There's Nate!" Serena squealed as she located her ex, even disguised by his silver phantom of the opera-esque mask she could tell it was him, it's his smile as he laughs at something someone says. Its so simple, so warm, so Nate.
"Maybe he knows where Chuck is." Blair commented.
"I'll go ask," Serena volunteered, she's been thinking about Blair's words the past couple days.
"You think it's a good idea for you to ask?" Blair questioned, unsure.
"See what you want and take it right? I'll go find out where Chuck is, and I'll force Nate to talk to me." Serena headed off determined
"Nate?" Serena claimed his attention as she goes to stand in front of him.
"Hey, Serena. I was actually just going to get some punch." Nate said as he began to walk away.
"Please." She begged as she grabs on to his arm. "Just talk to me…"
"I don't know what to say." He responded solemnly, a familiar song fills the room. It's "Secret" by The Pierces, their song. They had danced to it at Cotillion, back when they were happy and in love. "Secret, how appropriate."
"Then just dance with me."
"I don't know…"
"Its our song." Serena pleaded.
"Exactly, I don't think it's a good idea."
"Just one song, one dance." Serena looked at him with her big puppy dog eyes and he melts a little bit. He's not sure if its because of how beautiful she looks or the song or the fact that no matter how much he denies it he has missed her, but he lets her drag him onto the dance floor and they fall into the steps so effortlessly that he thinks for a second he could let it all go and be with her forever. But it's just for a moment and then reality comes back as her voice fills the air.
"I really am sorry about very thing. About Carter I mean…"
"Can we please not talk about it." Nate answers gruffly.
"I just need you to understand how terrible I feel about what I did to you. What I did…I'll never forgive myself for hurting you."
"Well at least we agree on something."
"What?" Serena asks hopefully.
"We can both never forgive you." Serena recoils from the sting of his words.
"Please Natey…"
"Don't call me that."
"But I've always called you Natey."
"That was then and this is now. Now the song's over and so are we, so if you'll excuse me." Nate lets go of her hands and they fall limply at her sides. Nate quickly rushes off the dance floor to escape the torture of her presence, hoping for solitude as he makes his way toward the closed off bar. He didn't hear the light click of Serena's heels or the swish of her floor-length yellow dress as she runs after him.
He was standing in a corner leaning up against the wall watching the intricate dance that took place in the ballroom, when she spotted him. He may have been dressed like the devil, but she thanked God she found him. Blair stalked across the dance floor and saddled up next to him.
"The devil mask is a nice change to your standard black."
"Now what's the point of it being at a Masquerade if people know who you are? Nathaniel has such a big mouth."
"Don't blame him, you didn't honestly think you could come tonight and I wouldn't find you?"
"Maybe I wanted you to find me," Chuck whispered as Blair leaned in to him a little more, "Or maybe I just can't resist a good party." Blair felt herself deflate.
"Now who's playing games?" Blair stated as she blocked his path.
"This isn't a game, just a little banter while I wait for you to get to the point."
"I will in due time, I was actually referring to you hiding from me all week. You're it." Blair laid a tentative hand on his forearm.
"I wasn't hiding so you would find me. I just needed a break from it all."
"You wanted me to get to the point? Fine, I'm sorry, I messed up, I know that, now forgive me already so we can be together."
"You can't order me around, Blair. For once this relationship isn't on your terms." Chuck maneuvered around her and started walking away.
"I'm not going to chase you Chuck." Blair yelled defiantly after him, "I said I'm not going to…I'm not going to chase you!" Blair petulantly repeated as she raised her skirt and began following Chuck through the crowded dance floor all the while insisting she would not chase him.
"Nate!" Serena called as she followed him into the bar.
"Serena, me leaving wasn't an invitation for you to follow."
"I need to talk to you. I have to apologize."
"You've apologized a hundred times."
"And I'm going to keep apologizing until you forgive me."
"Serena!" Nate whipped around to look at her, "I can't do that. You think if you just keep saying you're sorry that eventually you'll wear me down, but you can't. Its not like I want to stay mad at you, I can't help it. Whenever I see you all I can do if picture you and Carter…"
"I'm sorry."
"Stop." Nate ordered wearily.
"Not until you forgive me. If we could just talk it out, I know we can get past it. Just tell me how you feel, stop fighting me so hard on everything."
"You know what? Fine. You want to know how I feel? Here we go. You are careless, Serena."
"What?" The blonde asked in confusion.
"You just breeze in to people's lives and you don't see the damage you cause. You don't understand that you can hurt people, that you do without meaning to and then you don't get why they can't just blow it off like you do. You hurt me, and I know it was an accident, and I know you're sorry, but it doesn't erase the past." Nate sat down on one of the bar stools defeated. All his fight had been drained; he didn't want to argue anymore. He didn't want to yell, he just wanted to be alone with the millions of thoughts constantly running through his head. He let his head collapse in his hands as he tried to pull himself together.
Serena looked at Nate, he was so broken and sad. She just wanted to make him feel better. She slowly removed the feathers from her hair, and then her mask, her black fur shrug and finally her yellow dress fell to the floor in a silent whoosh. She stood there before him in the golden nighty he had bought her for their six-month anniversary.
She walked up to him quietly before kneeling by the stool and pulling his hands away from his face.
"What are you doing Serena?" Nate asked perplexed, he thought she would have run off by now.
"I understand how much I hurt you, but I know that if you'd just let me…I could make you happy again."
"Serena…" His plea died as she put her finger to his lips silencing him before she kissed him softly. "We can't do this." He whispered weakly.
"Yes we can, we can go back to how we were." She protested in a soft voice.
"Serena stop." Nate continued as she crawled up onto his lap so she was straddling him. She just shushed him as her lips found the sensitive spot behind his ear that always melted him. Her hands ran through his hair as she kissed him greedily trying to incite the passion she knew still existed underneath his cool surface. She would find her old Natey in there no matter what it took.
Nate felt his resolve weakening, he continued to voice small protests, but he didn't have the strength to stop her, in the back of his mind he almost didn't want to. He thought about everything that happened the last year, and then he thought about how good things had been the year before. Something primal took over him then, and all he wanted to do was make her forget about Carter and Chuck and the dozens of other guys she had known in her wilder days. He wanted her to only remember him, so he began kissing her back. He let his hands claim her body once again. Just like in the dance before, they easily fell back in the familiar routine of a much more intimate type. He wasn't sure if it was the smell of her perfume, the feel of her skin or the sound of her voice as she whispered sweet apologies and endearments, but he soon found himself becoming lost in her infinite warmth. He let it all go then, because he desperately hoped that maybe she could make him happy again.
He pulled his cape on as he quietly dressed across from her; silence surrounded them. It was beyond painful for him; she didn't seem to notice, lost in her own little world as she pulled on her dress. Nate finished straightening his clothes and tried to come up with the words that would free him from this situation.
"Have you seen my other shoe?" Serena asked as she searched around the bar for it. Nate looked down and found the black stiletto lying a few inches from where he stood. He leaned down and picked it up before extending it towards her.
"Found it." Nate muttered quietly.
"My hero." Serena joked as she walked over and took it. She pressed her lips to his once again and made a soft kind of moan before pulling away and putting on her shoe.
"We should probably get back to the party, people will start to wonder where we are."
"Ok, but do you want to get out of here later. My mother is in Budapest or Bucharest with her newest husband and Eric is sleeping over at his friends house…Jonathan or something…so we've got the whole place to ourselves."
"I…ugh can't. My mom wants me home soon."
"Oh…ok." Serena said looking sad for a moment before recovering. "How about tomorrow?"
"Umm maybe, I don't know. I really have to go." Nate said as his heart started beating a million times a minute.
"Ok, I'll come with you. We can dance some more before you leave."
"Your hair." Nate blurted out as she approached him again.
"What about it?" Serena asked
"You're ugh…missing you're feathers."
"Oh right." Serena laughed, before beginning to look for them, "I can't go out there with sex hair."
"I'll ugh…meet you out there." Nate said as he put on his mask as sped out of the room. This couldn't be real. This couldn't have happened. This was so bad. So really, really bad. Nate could hear his hear pounding in his ears as he reentered the ballroom.
Blair was beyond pissed at this point. She had lost Chuck in the crowd earlier and now she couldn't find Serena either. She was really sick of people pulling the vanishing act around her. She had had her fill of this party and was ready to just go home and take her mind off all the drama in her life. She turned around to see Nate standing there as he removed his mask, he looked…Blair couldn't find the right words to described the devastated, confused, empty look that formed its own mask on his face.
"Nate?" Blair asked as she walked up the steps so she was on the same level as him. "What happened?"
"I did something bad…I made a huge mistake."
"What did you do?" Blair asked becoming increasingly worried.
"I slept with Serena…"
"You what?" Blair asked in shock.
"I don't know what happened, I was ranting and then she was undressing and then she was on top of me and I just…it was a mistake."
"You mistakenly had sex with her? Nate you're not making any sense."
"I have to get out of here…I can't breathe." Nate pulled hastily at his black bowtie.
"Calm down, it was just sex."
"It was sex with Serena…I can't deal with this. I have to get out of here." Nate was pacing now.
"So get a taxi, go home and calm down."
"No, I have to get out of the city. It's suffocating, she's…she's everywhere. I have to get out of here."
"Nate, calm down. You just moved back, you can't take off."
"I can't be in the city right now. Just for a couple days I'll go see Trip or something. I just can't be here, not now."
"You can't hook up with Serena and then bail."
"I can't be here! I have to go." Nate could barely breathe as the reality of all the repercussions of what he'd done continued to sink in on him.
"Nate, just breathe." Blair said as she tried desperately to calm Nate down.
"I can't Blair! Don't you see that? I…I…I have to go, now. Tonight. I just have too." Nate said before rushing off toward the door to the front of the ballroom that led to the street entrance. Blair pinched the bridge of her nose as she tried to process Nate's total breakdown.
"Blair!" Serena called as she bounded up to her. "Have you seen Nate? The most amazing thing just happened!"
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I just wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed my story, your feedback means so much! Please let me know what you thought of the latest update! :)
