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By: afallenblackrose

Chapter Seven: The Way We Are

Jesse and Paul froze as my words sunk in. They both looked at each other then at me. Jesse was sullen, and Paul's eyes were alight with…I didn't know what. All I knew was that the emotion that Paul was feeling he hadn't felt before. Or at least, I hadn't seen him feel this emotion before.

"But that doesn't explain why you wanted to knock yourself out again," Jesse said. I froze. Paul probably knew why I tried to re-knock myself out. Would he tell Jesse?

Sure enough, the emotion that I couldn't name before turned to one I could. Anger. "You've got to be kidding me!" Paul exclaimed. "You tried to knock yourself out, to see a future with him, because you didn't like the future you saw with me?" Jesse looked at me confused. I didn't return his gaze. I felt my cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

"Is it true?" He asked. I didn't say anything. Paul looked between us. A smirk played on his lips.

"Oh, this is good," Paul laughed. "He doesn't know?"

I glared at him somehow knowing what he was planning. "Don't you dare say anything," I seethed at him. I would probably die of embarrassment right there if he did. But not before I pummeled Paul to a bloody pulp first.

"Oh come on, Suze, Jesse wants to know why you'd try to see a future with him," Paul replied. "Well, you see Jesse, dear Suze here has - "

"Paul, shut up!" I exclaimed.

"Please, don't interrupt," Paul said. "Now where was I? Oh yes, Suze has feelings for you." There was absolute silence.

Asshole I mouthed at Paul, he just smiled and shrugged. I balled up my fists ready to punch Paul. He had no right to tell Jesse that!

You would think, since it was my secret to tell, I should have had the right to jump on Paul and beat him senseless. And I really, really should have….

But, I never got the chance to. Jesse was on him before I could even protest. Catching both Paul and me in surprise.

"What the he - ?" Paul exclaimed. I blinked. Why was Jesse doing this? Shouldn't I be punching the hell out of him?

"Jesse," I softly said. Jesse looked up. "Why are you doing this?" He backed away from Paul and looked at me. His face was serious and lined with concentration. Then he disappeared.

I sighed. He was such a coward. I looked over at Paul who was hunched over and in pain. I opened the freezer and threw him a bag of peas.

"Why did you tell him?" I asked. Paul smiled a bloody grin.

"I shouldn't have been the one to tell him," he said. "You should have." I rolled my eyes.

"It's not easy to tell someone," I whispered. "It was either bad timing, a new ghost, and why the hell am I explaining this to you?" Paul grinned and took a seat.

"I'm really easy to talk to," he replied. I rolled my eyes again. This guy was a piece of work.

"So is Rico coming back or is he gone for good?" Paul asked. I sat down in another chair.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I really don't know." Paul looked at me.

"Suze, about what we talked about back at the movies…"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Is it still true?"

"I'll let you know," I replied. Once I find out about Jesse and his intentions. Paul got up from the chair.

"I better get going then," he said. "Later Suze, and thanks for the peas." He walked out of the room with the bag of peas still over his eye. The sad thing was, as I watched him go all I could think about was how good he looked even though he was holding that bag of peas over his eye. It shouldn't be fair for guys to look that gorgeous.

I looked after him and sighed. It had been a very long day.

A few moments after Paul left, I saw a shimmer and groaned. Well, that didn't take long. "Susannah," Jesse's voice said as he reappeared. I looked up surprised to see him. I had thought it would have been my dad showing up to chastise me for not telling Paul and Jesse whom I chose.

"Jesse," I responded acknowledging him.

"Is Slater gone?" He asked. I nodded.

"Susannah, I need to know if it's true."

"If what's true?" I asked.

"Did you really try to knock yourself out to see a future with me?"

"Well…yeah…" I trailed off. Not that it matters. I thought to myself.

"Why?" He pleaded.

"Jesse, you don't believe what Paul said do you?"

"Why should I?" Jesse asked. "He tried to kill you, remember?"

I sighed. Of course I remembered. I still had nightmares about that place.

"What if he wasn't trying to kill me?" I asked. "What if what he said about me having feelings for you is true?" Jesse just looked at me.

"Susannah," he whispered. "I'm a ghost, you can't have feelings for me. Just like I can't have feelings for you." I stared at him questioning. What could he have possibly meant?

"Jesse, what about…" I trailed off. He knew what I was talking about.

"Exactly. We can't have feelings for each other Susannah."

"Why?" I asked. "Just because you're a ghost?"

"Well, yes," he replied looking at me. "We can't work out. How will you explain things to your friends? Your family? I mean you still have to tell them that you are a mediator."

"They don't need to know that I'm a mediator. Just like they don't have to know that I'm dating a ghost."

"Dating?" Jesse asked. "Susannah, we can't."

"No, you can't." I clarified. "You're so stubborn."

"I wonder where I get that from?" Jesse countered. I laughed.

"Obviously you've been hanging out with me too much."

"Kidding aside, Susannah, you know we wouldn't work out," Jesse replied, serious. I sighed.

"Why? Just because I couldn't tell my family and my friends, which by the way, CeCe already knows about you."

"CeCe knows?" Jesse asked, arching his eyebrow.

"Well…not about the whole ghost thing, but she knows about you." I tried not to remember how CeCe came to find out about Jesse. It had been purely an accident. She was coming to talk to me before our first class on the first day and Paul had been talking to me about him. CeCe being the girl that she is overheard and immediately started questioning me about who Jesse was. Then there was the whole roses incident. Which…speaking of, why didn't Jesse remember that?

"So, that's why she asked if the roses were from me," he whispered looking up at me. I nodded my head. He continued to sit there staring at me, but I noticed fairly quickly, he wasn't really staring at me. He was staring off into space. I sighed internally. He was going to over think this and realize how we shouldn't be together. I just knew he would, because that was the type of person, I mean ghost, he was.

I scowled down at the table as he continued to think. This made me start to think. Jesse was a ghost. I wouldn't really be able to go out on dates with him. Not unless I wanted to look like a crazy person (correction: crazier person). I wouldn't be able to show him off to my friends, and girls like Kelly would probably think I was making him up. Not to mention that eventually, Jesse would probably move on. Even though it hadn't yet happened over the last 150 years. But eventually, he would move on. And what would that leave me with? Absolutely nothing, but a broken heart.

Maybe Paul and Jesse were right. Maybe my future, the one I saw, was supposed to happen. Maybe I did choose Paul. I looked up to Jesse to see that he was still thinking. I couldn't help but find it ironic, that even though I had been angry at him for thinking this long that I would be the one to start over thinking things.

"Susannah," Jesse began. "I still believe that we shouldn't be together. I'm a ghost and you're still a teenaged girl with the rest of your life to live. I know, that right now it might hurt you, but I think it's for the best if I go stay at the rectory for awhile." Before I could even reply, Jesse was gone. I stared at the spot that he had just occupied and laughed. I don't know why, maybe because of the irony of it all? But I just sat there for a good ten minutes and laughed until I cried.

Jesse unofficially dumped me. Even though I had been ready to tell him that he was right and that I shouldn't date him. It wouldn't work out. But he had done it first. Now, what was I supposed to do?

"Suze?" Dopey sluggishly asked walking into the kitchen. "I know I uh, shouldn't be asking this. But could you, uh, help us out?"

I got up from my chair and walked into the other room. Cleaning would definitely get my mind off of things for the moment. At least until I could figure out what to do next.

"Sure, I'll help," I told my stepbrother. "But you so owe me for this."

THE END.

Author's Notes: Oh, I know what you're going to say. I waited three freaking years for an update from you, and this is what you give me? Well, to put it mildly, yes. I'm sorry, but it has been three years and I had totally forgotten where I had planned on taking this story so this is how it ends. I was going to put a scene with Paul at the end the next day at school, but I decided against it. How bad would it be for her to break up with Jesse and go straight into Paul's arms? Pretty bad. However, if you want me to write that scene as an epilogue, let me know. Please review!