Chapter 7 - Suspicion
I screamed at the top of my lungs, thrashing wildly, beating my fists to everything I could reach, fighting as hard as I could.
Suddenly, I heard a crack and the next instant, my wrists were caught. I tried to break free, struggling furiously, succeeding eventually.
Instead of the restraining hands, something stroked my face now.
"Leah! Lee, wake up! It's all okay, I'm here... it was just a dream...shh..."
My eyes opened. I glared to the ceiling.
I was not being ripped to pieces. I was in my room in Hawaii.
That was good.
"Lee? Did you have a bad dream?" Rebecca stroked my sweat-damp forehead.
I shuddered as I remembered fragments of my dream.
"I think it were... those stories I've read.", I whispered. I reached for the book that must have fallen to the floor.
Rebecca gently took it from my hands. She smiled at me. "These are legends from the native hawaiians. It's... culture. You shouldn't take them too serious. Every culture has its stories, and people are fond of them. But they are stories."
I nodded, unsatisfied. Well... if she knew how true the stories of her own ancestors really were, maybe she would be a bit more... superstitious.
Suddenly, I heard Mikala clear his throat and realized he'd been there all the while. "May I come in?"
I shrugged. "Sure."
He walked over to lean against the wardrobe, gazing thoughtfully at me and at the legends book. Like he was worried about something. Worried - about what I... found out?
I stared back at him emotionlessly and did not look down.
Finally, Rebecca got my attention back. "Do you want a cup of coffee or anything?"
I blinked a few times. "How late is it?"
"It's five to two a.m."
"Oh.", I exclaimed, feeling guilty at once for waking up the whole household. I hoped I hadn't woken the children, at least.
Rebecca stroked my hair softly. "It's okay. You've not woken anyone. We've been awake. I've been home shortly after midnight, and so was Mikala. We were drinking a cup of tea in the kitchen when we heard you scream."
I breathed out in relief. "Good." Slowly, I shoved the blanket aside and stood.
The three of us went back into the kitchen and Becky poured me a cup of tea.
"Do you want to tell us of your dream?", she asked while I carefully sipped at the hot drink. I flinched and almost spilled my tea.
"I...I don't know. It was... the same as ever in... different shades, sort of. A different setting." I looked up at Rebecca and knew she understood what I meant. I didn't feel so free to talk to her husband.
"There were...mad dogs... they were... they were killing my... my..." Somehow I couldn't speak any more, and I realized I was sobbing. Rebecca was at my side, her arm around my shoulders. I let the tears stream and tried to breathe evenly in and out.
I was reminded of one of Jacob's memories of Bella... it was a painful memory of how she would try to hold her chest together, like someone had punched a hole into it when her bloodsucker abandoned her. I still didn't really like her, but I could empathize. I felt the wound of Sam's betrayal like someone had taken my heart out, too. Unlike her, I had not gotten a happy ending. I, too, had my arms around my body to keep it from breaking. I'd never felt so fragile before. All this time, I had stashed all my hurt into the recesses of my mind and heart. But now, here, it all came spilling out.
"Lee...", Rebecca whispered, worry in her voice. I rose from my chair.
"I'd rather go to sleep again. I can't... stand this."
She nodded. "Do you want my company?" I contemplated that for a second. Probably it did no good to go into my room to face this all alone. But, besides, there was nothing anyone could do for me. I looked at her. "No, thank you. Really."
She embraced me again. "I understand. If you need me... just let me know."
I hugged her back. "Thanks, Becky."
She let me go and I left the kitchen, closing the door behind me. Slowly, I walked a few steps before my legs gave in and I let myself slide down at the wall. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. I was both tired and exhausted, not only physically. I wanted to sleep. But I wanted sleep without dreams.
My ears became alert when I heard the voices from the kitchen.
"How did she get that book?", Mikala asked tensely.
"I don't know." Rebecca paused for a moment. "I think it was in the living room. Maybe she scanned the book shelf for something to read."
"Lepeka, she looked like she believed the stories. Like she knew that they are true." It sounded like he was thumping his fist to the table.
"She knows tribe stories. Every tribe has its stories, like the Quileute do, too. She's used to stories. Why would she believe they're true?"
Simply because the Quileute's stories were true, maybe? But probably Rebecca was as oblivious about that as she should be. But it seemed like there was something else going on. I stood, wide awake again, on alert. My body was tensed, but I didn't knew what for. Attacking? Whom, for heaven's sake? Maybe I was just prepared to fly back to my room in case they were about to catch me eavesdropping.
"I am worried about it, Lepeka." He sounded serious and somehow angry.
"Well.", she suddenly snapped. "I'm a little more worried about Leah herself. She's still hurting of the pain about her ex-boyfriend who left her for her cousin. And that was four years ago!"
I winced. I was touched about her empathy, but it was like a slap to see a picture of myself from her view point. Yes, I was a mess, and it was not normal.
"And yet, you're only worried about secrets being kept. I'm sure Leah is way apart from spying on you. Why should she find out?"
Mikala didn't reply, so Rebecca went on, though she lowered her voice and calmed down. "I think the reason why she came here, besides that she's really good with the kids and that she was in need of a job, is that she was absolutely desperate to get away. Her ex-boyfriend lives in the reservation with his newly-wed wife. Do you think she would like to see that happy couple every day?"
"No.", he allowed. "But we still have a secret to protect here... and I believe the Quileutes are being superstitious anyway."
"I am Quileute, too. And I don't really think those stories are true.", she stated.
He grunted. "I still say we should be careful. She isn't allowed to know and we shouldn't give her any reason to suspect something."
Oops. Too late already. I shuddered.
"Apart from all this supernatural business, I'll relate to Leah and try to do the best that she needs in a human way. From woman to woman."
"Do that, darling." His voice was softer now, and he relaxed. "I'm sorry, I was overreacting. Maybe we should go to bed now."
I quickly sneaked down the hall to my room. Maybe Rebecca would be checking on me again.
When I hid under the blanket, I started shivering from the things I'd heard.
What secret? What had the legends to do with it? Were they true? Was there something supernatural going on here, too?
I groaned. Why? I'd come here to get away from it, and yet it still kept creeping back to me.
I tried to tell myself I didn't want to know, but maybe Mikala was right and Quileutes were superstitious – I was curious and I itched to get to know what was wrong here.
The door creaked and Rebecca peeked in. I concentrated on breathing evenly so she would believe I was asleep. It took a long while until she was convinced, but then she left without speaking a word.
When I woke up again, I was groggy. It was bright daylight outside. Last nights nightmares lingered as faint shadows cast onto the wall. I couldn't even distinguish what belonged into the dreams and what had been real. I remembered a conversation I'd overheard, but it made so little sense that I assumed it must have been a dream.
Then I remembered the Hawaiian Legends book and how the stories had revealed the things I'd dreamed before and I was suddenly certain that I hadn't been dreaming of that conversation.
There was some secret I wasn't in. Some mythical secret I shouldn't want to know about.
I looked around in my room. I couldn't remember that I'd put it somewhere. It should have been on my floor. Probably Rebecca had picked it up and put it back to the bookshelf. Or maybe... maybe she or Mikala had hid it somewhere, or set it on fire, along with everything else that could give me a clue. Or... or maybe I was just being paranoid again.
I glanced up at the clock and was appalled. It was already past noon.
Luckily, Rebecca was here today and had done the morning work of taking Pili to school. When I entered the kitchen, Kaili reached her little arms out to me and smiled a big, marmalade-smeared grin at me. Rebecca stood at the kitchen counter and rearranged things hanging from boards at the wall.
"I'm sorry I'm so late... I should have set my alarm clock."
She turned to smile at me. "It's okay. I'm here today."
"Is Mikala at work already?"
"Yes. Already gone." She turned back to her occupation.
I sat next to Kaili and watched as she made a mess of marmalade and bread crumbs on her high chair table.
"Pili is with Keni's family this afternoon. If that's okay with you, you could take Kaili and go visit the town.", Rebecca proposed when she was done.
"Sure. I haven't seen much of Hawaii in the five days I'm here, beside the forest and the Elementary School.", I laughed.
"Hilo is a nice town. Pretty landscape and all that. Tourist attractions of every kind, of course... well, see for yourself."
I washed Kaili's face and changed her diaper before I put her into her buggy. For town exploration, the buggy would do. The little girl smiled widely as she waved her mum good-bye and we headed for town.
After a few streets we'd passed, a newsstand caught my attention because of the headlines on almost all of the newspaper frontpages.
Homicide on the rise
What's happening in Hilo at night?
The Hawaii Murderer
I stopped to scan the article briefly. The shop owner cleared his throat. I realized I should buy the newspaper if I was interested. I picked one and payed it, smiling apologetically.
I went to sit on a bench across the street. Kaili had fallen asleep in the buggy.
The article stated an increase of homicides on the Big Island within the last few months. These murders were mysterious and the police were absolutely clueless. In addition, the murders always happened at night and there were no corpses found.
A snarl ripped through me so loud that Kaili was startled awake. She looked afraid and confused, then she began to cry.
Immediately, my newly found mother instincts overpowered the wolf instincts, which made me hesitate a second, my hands frozen in the air in amazement at that realization.
I lifted Kaili out of her buggy and comforted her. "It's okay. Everything is fine."
She didn't think so. She grimaced and cried even more. Was she afraid of me now?
But she didn't look afraid any more. Probably it was only about the basic needs again.
I shoved the buggy back to the newsstand and purchased a package of cookies. Sitting in her buggy with cookies in her mouth seemed to please her.
In thoughts, I continued my town trip. But I couldn't enjoy it any more. Not with the almost certain knowledge of bloodsuckers nearby.
It didn't comfort me that these were probably evil bloodsuckers I would be allowed to kill. I was out of service. I didn't want anything to do with it. Not rationally, at least. The wolf that dwelled in me was still tensing for the battle that I never wanted to fight. Never again.
I returned home early and helped Rebecca doing the laundry until Pili came bursting through the door. "Hey Leah!", he called so loud that he could probably be heard by everyone in the street. He told me his whole day with every detail, still talking while he was in the bath tube and at dinner.
When he was in bed after that, he was quiet again. I could guess what that meant.
"Leaah?", he pleaded. "Do I get to hear another story?"
I went to sit by his bedside. "Okay. But no legend this time." He tried to protest, but he was content when I invented him something as close to a tribal legend as I dared.
This time, he asked no questions. He yawned a few times, then he closed his eyes and snuggled into his sheets. I patted his blanket and went outside.
Mikala had returned home while I was telling Pili his story. I went to the hall to greet him, but I stopped when I saw both him and Becky standing there motionless, the horror making their faces blank. I made my feet move forward, wondering if I was welcome in this moment, but I was drawn to it and it felt like I needed to know. I needed to know what bothered them.
I walked over to Rebecca and put my arm around her hesitantly.
She awoke from her frozen shape and leaned into me for support. She started to sob. Over her shoulder, I shot a questioning glance at Mikala. His eyes were dark and grave.
"A friend of mine had a... car crash. He's dead."
His voice was somber and monotone. His face looked like stone – even as grey.
The blood vanished from my face and I held Rebecca tighter.
"I'm so sorry.", I whispered.
Mikala bent his head and said nothing else. Eventually, he moved over to where I stood and gently pulled Rebecca to his chest. I let her go and be comforted by her husband, while I leaned to the wall for support. Not that I'd known the man they were mourning for, but it hurt me enough to see Becky so low and to watch the somber stone face of Mikala.
When I saw that they didn't need me right now, I slowly retreated to my room.
I slumped down on my bed, curling up into a ball. I felt terrible for them, though I could only feel it from the outside. It seemed to be someone they'd been close to. Something unpredictable had taken him out of his life unexpectedly.
I was alert again when I heard the voices from the hall thanks to my good ears.
"We couldn't do anything. It was not like those creatures from the legends. We would have defeated them if they were." Mikala's voice was tense.
Rebecca's voice was even worse, tuneless, barely more than an icy whisper now. "What else were they?"
"I don't know. Creatures right from hell."
I shuddered, which was probably exactly the same thing the couple in the hall did.
It took another second until my brain started working.
What was he talking about? What did this have to do with a car crash? I sat up in bed as I saw another parallel.
Jacob's wounds from the vampire attack he'd saved me from. Outside stories. He was said to have had a crash with his motorcycle. Just a human drama to conceal the secret truth.
What if this was the case? What if this unknown friend of my host family had been killed by a bloodsucker? I growled, trying to keep it low if I couldn't hinder it completely.
It was another thought that made me gasp in shock.
If there was an outside story, then there was an inside story, too, and the two of them were in it.
My head spun around. My brain refused to draw any further conclusions. I tried to come up with something credible, but without any effect.
