Thank you so much to everyone for your kind reviews. It's helping to keep me motivated. I'm having a great time writing this story, so I'm glad you are all enjoying it.

P.S. - Please don't be mad at me! (you'll see)

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I'm just trying to focus my anger on creating a complete ending for our beloved characters.

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Chapter Seven – Heartache

She could feel the burn in her calves as she climbed the stairs to Garret's eighth floor hospital room. She needed the time to think, to get her emotions in check before facing the reality of Garret's situation again.

Seeing Drew Haley again had left her more shaken than she cared to admit. She hated that he was still able to make her feel so off-balance after so many years. She hated that he could make her feel that way when she was in love with someone else.

She hated that she'd freaked on the someone else she was in love with.

She hated that she was doing it again. Backing off, being paranoid; reacting to her fears.

She knew Woody tried to understand her reactions most of the time, but she wasn't so sure he'd be willing to put up with them now that he knew how she felt.

Then again, he hadn't said he loved her too, so maybe she had a reason to be freaking out.

She stopped on the sixth floor landing, leaned her hands on her knees to catch her breath. You told him you weren't looking for anything in return. What did you expect him to do? She reminded herself of his reaction on the mountain when she'd told him, and his behaviour that morning when he'd arrived at the hospital. That had to mean something, right?

She shook her head in frustration, glanced at her watch and noted she was down to a half hour before she had to meet Haley. She ignored the fire in her legs, pushed herself up, and jogged up the last two flights of stairs.

She pushed open the door to the eighth floor, Critical Care Unit, stopped by the nurses' desk for an update on Garret and proceeded down the hall to his room.

She spent a moment in silence, studying him, looking for any flickers of change.

There were none.

She stepped forward, squeezed his hand; laid a kiss on his forehead. "Hang in there, Garret." She blinked back the tears in her eyes then left his room in search of Nigel.

"Kate, hi. Uh, where's Nige?"

"I sent him home."

"Oh, okay, well, I'm gonna need him at the morgue." She quickly filled Kate in on what Captain James and Haley had told her and Woody. "I need all hands on deck for this one. We need to work fast."

"You're kidding me, right? The FBI?"

Jordan shrugged. "Look, Kate, I know Garret left you in charge of the d-mort but . . . I know the FBI guy in charge and he's asked me to head the investigation. I don't want this to –"

"Jordan, as far as I'm concerned, the d-mort is over. I've done my job. If the feds want you on this one, you can have it."

Jordan rolled her eyes. "Fine. Agent Haley has agreed to my request to keep one of our team here at the hospital at all times. We'll rotate whenever we can. If you wouldn't mind staying to do the first shift . . ."

"I'll stay." Jordan turned to find Renee Walcott standing behind her. Her suit was rumpled, and her eyes were red rimmed, as if she'd been crying.

"Renee. You got my message."

"How is he?"

Jordan looked at her with sympathy; she'd never believed Renee's feelings for Garret had abated. Now it looked as though her hunch had been right. She gave Renee a quick run-down of Garret's injuries and current condition.

Renee nodded. "I've been in meetings with the FBI and Homeland Security most of last night and this morning. I know what they need you to do. Get your team together and bring these bastards down. I'll stay with Garret."

Jordan exchanged glances with Kate, shoved a piece of paper into Renee's hands. "This is my new cell number. Call me if anything changes, or if you have any questions." She gave Renee his room number and directions. "Go see him, Renee. I think he'd want you to."

She looked at Kate. "Let's go."

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Bug had managed to settle Madeline into a nap just before he'd settled in for his own nap on the couch. He'd wanted to talk to Lily first, make sure she was okay, but as he watched his daughter sleep, the urge to close his eyes overwhelmed him.

Lily found him there, sound asleep, moments later. She stood for a moment watching the man she loved snore quietly while her daughter napped on his chest.

Oh, how she'd missed him. When she put aside the worry and the stress and the wondering, she realized she'd truly missed him.

She'd missed moments like these, when he seemed to settle Madeline with such ease. She'd missed his reassurance and the internal strength he didn't know he had. She'd missed his arms around her, holding her snuggly to him in the dead of night. She'd missed his whispered declarations of love, moments before they fell asleep.

She didn't want to miss anymore.

She leaned down and gently lifted Madeline from his chest and laid her in her crib.

She sat down on the floor beside him; kissed his lips gently to wake him and smiled into his dark eyes when he awoke.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking how much I missed you. How much I missed having you here with me. I don't want to miss anymore, Bug."

He sat up slowly as he listened to her words.

"I want to marry you, Bug. I want to wake up every morning and see your face. I want to fall asleep every night with your arms around me. I want to raise a family with you. I want to look into your eyes everyday and see my future, our future. I want to be your wife."

She looked away shyly, twisting her necklace in her fingers. She felt him scoot to the edge of the couch and tilt her chin up with his finger so she could meet his gaze.

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes, I'll marry you. You did just propose, right? Because if you want me to do it I –"

She silenced him with a firm kiss. "Okay."

"What?"

"Okay, ask me to marry you." She laughed at his relieved expression.

"Just a minute." He got up and ran for the bedroom; came back a minute later. "Can you stand up, please?"

She looked at him with questions in her eyes, but did as he asked.

He took her hands in his, looked into her eyes. "I was going to take you out to dinner tomorrow and do this, but I think now is a good time." He took a deep breath. "Lily Lebowski, I have loved you since the moment I met you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Madeline." He paused as tears came to her eyes then kneeled down in front of her. "I love you with all my heart and soul, Lily. Will you marry me?"

Her tears were flowing freely now as she watched him produce a brilliant marquis diamond on a gold band, surrounded by blue sapphires and smaller diamonds. "I thought the sapphires matched your eyes."

Unable to contain herself any longer, she sank to the floor with him, wrapped her arms around him. "Yes, Bug, I'll marry you. I'll be your wife. And I love you, too."

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"You're late."

"Sue me." She shot back as she pulled on her gloves and prepared to do trace on the first body.

"Nice to see you're still as mouthy as ever."

"Nice to see you're still as anal as ever."

He actually smiled a little at that one.

She caught his grin from the corner of one eye. "What are you laughing at?"

"You. And how you still use sarcasm and your work to cover your real feelings."

"Haven't you got phone calls to make or jurisdictions to over rule?" She was letting him get to her again. She hated that.

He watched her closely, knowing he was treading on dangerous ground. He wisely decided not to push his luck. "I don't want to read a report full of medical jargon that I need an interpreter for, Jordan. I want to hear your first impressions. I want to hear your opinions. That's why I asked for you." His eyes locked on hers as he spoke, leaving her at a loss for words.

The doors to trace flew open, startling them both, and breaking the tension in the room. "Are you two finished playing whatever sick little game this is? Because I, for one, would like to go home tonight and actually have a decent sleep in my own bed." She snapped on a pair of gloves, slipped on eye protection.

Haley glanced at Kate, then at Jordan, eyebrows raised.

"Dr. Kate Switzer, meet Agent Drew Haley, FBI."

Kate barely glanced in Haley's direction, but Haley had taken a keen interest in her comments and mannerisms. Jordan barely stifled a laugh, knowing full well that Kate had no idea what Haley's job description really entailed. This could be an interesting night.

"If you're finished analyzing me, Agent Haley, can we?" Kate gestured to the bodies lined up in front of them.

Jordan watched as Haley appraised Kate for a minute longer then switched his attention back to her. She caught his gaze, paused a moment. "Okay, then. Let's get started."

They worked on the bodies of the suspected terrorists for almost eight hours, pulling fibers, traces of chemicals, DNA, whatever they could get that might tell them who the men were and where they came from.

Nigel had come in just after 3:30 stating he couldn't sleep. Like Jordan, he immersed himself in his work to keep his mind off Dr. Macy. He started running the fingerprints they'd lifted in the make-shift trace room on the plane. He prepared DNA samples and test tubes for tox screens. Just after 10pm he noticed Jordan blinking her eyes and rubbing her temples. He knew her well enough to know when she'd had enough, even if she didn't realize it. Pulling off his gloves with flair, he announced he was calling it a night.

"We've done everything we can today, Luv. Now we wait on tox screens and DNA results which won't be ready until at least tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow morning we can start the autopsies, see what else the bodies tell us." He looked at her imploringly, silently begging her to go home and get some rest.

Kate had left about an hour before, having finished her work on the two bodies she'd been working on. Jordan figured Nigel was right; they'd done all they could for now. She nodded, looking at Haley as she did. "We'll meet you back here at 7am tomorrow," she said to him.

He pushed himself away from the wall he'd been holding up for the last few hours. "I'll see you then." He turned to go then stopped. "Can I give you a ride home?" He asked Jordan.

She tried her best to look nonchalant, even though she knew she'd be getting the third degree from Nigel in the morning. "Sure. That would be great. I'll go get my stuff from my office." She all but ran to her office willing her heart to stop fluttering in her chest.

"You're being ridiculous, Cavanaugh," she muttered to herself as she hurried down the hall. "The lack of sleep must be taking its toll, impairing your judgment –"

"Talking to yourself again?" She let out a yelp at the sound of Woody's voice. She spun around to find him lying on his back on her couch, ankles crossed, hands linked behind his neck.

"Woody! You scared me. What are you doing here? It's past 10 o'clock. I thought you'd have gone home hours ago."

"I did. Grabbed a shower, something to eat. Tried to catch some shut-eye. When that didn't work I figured I might as well be productive, so I went back to the office to fill out the first of the many, many incident reports I'll be filling out over the next several days. When I couldn't see straight any longer I decided I'd come here, see how you were doing with the bodies." And corner you into talking to me, he thought to himself.

She looked at him with raised eyebrows as he sat up on the couch.

His dimples flashed at her. "And I figured you could use a ride home."

"Uh, I could, but I all ready told –"

"Are you ready to go?" Haley stood in the doorway of her office, intently watching the exchange between Jordan and Woody. Figuring people out was what he did. It didn't take an idiot to figure out these two had something going on. Which made the signals he'd been getting from Jordan for the last few hours that much more intriguing.

"I ah. . . I'm sorry, Haley. Woody's been waiting here for me, to take me home. I didn't know he was here –"

"As long as I know you will get home safe. See you in the morning, Jordan." He nodded at Woody before walking toward the elevators, leaving Jordan staring, confused, after him.

"What just happened here?" Woody asked her, not at all liking the expression on her face and the way her eyes were following Haley. He wasn't liking the way that made him feel, either, and unfortunately he couldn't keep that out of his voice.

She looked sharply at him. "He offered me a ride home. I said yes before I knew you were here." She wasn't sure what to make of his body language and the way he was staring daggers at Haley's back. She sighed. "Can we go now?"

He didn't speak another word until they were in his car on the way to her apartment. "I don't like that guy."

"You're a cop. You're not supposed to like the FBI."

"There's something about him, though. Like I can't totally trust him."

"Trust me, Woody, you can trust Haley. He's a good guy, really. He's just doing his job. And part of his job is to be evasive."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't seem to be evasive with you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I don't like the looks he's giving you. The way he was looking at you at the precinct, wanting to drive you home tonight. I mean, come on, Jordan! The guy's obviously got a hard-on for you!"

"What!"

"Jordan, seriously. You really think he came all this way and asked for you specifically just so he can solve his case? You really believe it has nothing to do with how good looking you are or –"

"I told you, we worked a case together before. He knows me and the morgue staff. He knows we'll stop at nothing to solve a case, and that's how he works, too." She kept her voice low, deliberately warning him, a sign that was not missed by him. He stayed silent until they reached her building.

She got out of the car, not waiting to see if he would follow. She knew he would.

She was halfway across the parking lot before he managed to scramble out of the car and go after her.

"Jordan. Jordan!" He finally caught up with her at the elevator. "Look, I just think this guy isn't all that he seems. He makes my radar go up, okay?"

She gave him the silent treatment until they reached her apartment door. "Thank you for the ride home." She put her key in the lock, shouldered her way through her doorway.

"Jordan, please. I didn't mean –"

She whirled on him, exhaustion, stress and fear finally taking its toll. "I don't need you pulling the jealous 'she's my territory' crap, Woody. I have enough to deal with without worrying about your hurt feelings!"

"Jordan!" He grabbed her by the shoulders, forced her to look at him. "What the hell happened? Thirty six hours ago, you told me you wanted to be with me, and now you're putting the moves on some crack-pot FBI agent and you just expect me to stand back and let it happen?"

"No, Woody. I expect you to stand back and let me do my job. And right now, that job includes working with Agent Haley." Fire flashed in her eyes as she continued, "And I wasn't putting 'the moves' on him; he's my friend, Woody, and we have a past. So whether you like it or not, so I suggest you find a way to deal with it!"

"I don't want to do this, Jordan; I can't do this." Woody let go of her shoulder, shook his head slowly. "I spent twenty four hours without you, not knowing how you were, not being able to talk to you. Sitting in that hotel room, waiting, gave me a lot of time to think, Jordan, about you, about us, about what you said . . . he trailed off at her shocked and confused look. "What?"

"Woody, where were you last night?"

He smiled in a feeble attempt to lighten her mood. "You're not going to believe this, but it was a cute little place called Littleton, New Hampshire. Imagine getting snowed in for a second time in a place called –"

"You got off the mountain yesterday? In the second chopper? In the storm?"

"Yeah, the pilot was able to navigate the storm, but the chopper lost communication so we had to make an emergency landing . . . didn't someone from the rescue team give you the message?" He watched her shaking her head and had the sinking feeling no one had told Jordan and Lily of their friends' rescue.

"I spent over twenty four hours worrying about you, wondering where you were, if you'd gotten off that damned mountain! I paced the hallways of the hospital not knowing if you were alive or dead! No one could get a hold of the pilot. No one knew where your chopper was, Woody. It just disappeared with you on it! Now you're telling me. . ."

"Jordan, please calm down."

". . . that you were safe all along and no one bothered to phone the hospital? Don't stand there and tell me to calm down! Just . . . don't. Don't stand there at all."

She closed her eyes, partly to block the tears she knew were threatening, and partly to block the sight of the shocked and hurt look he was giving her.

"I need a shower." She turned on her heel, knowing she should tell him to stay, but she wasn't able to make her mouth form the words. She went to the bathroom, shut the door and turned on the water.

As she was stepping out of her clothes, she heard the front door slam behind him.

Using the wall for support, she sank to the floor, buried her face in her hands and let the tears fall.

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He knew he shouldn't have left.

He knew if he wanted any chance of a relationship with her, he needed to talk to her.

And he would.

Right after he took a long walk to calm down.

He hadn't walked long when he found himself at the boardwalk where they used to run together. She loved the boardwalk, the view of the harbour, the smell of the salty sea air. She said there was something fresh and rejuvenating about being there. He agreed with her. And tonight he needed all the rejuvenation he could get.

He leaned his forearms on the railing, looked out over the water. The near-full moon left a silvery path on the surface of the sea. When he tipped his head back, he could make out several constellations in the inky sky overhead.

Try as he might, he couldn't clear his mind of his jealous feelings. It wasn't that he didn't trust Jordan, he did. What, or rather who, he didn't trust was the FBI agent, Haley. The problem was that he didn't know exactly why he didn't trust him. Jordan obviously felt the guy was on the up-and-up and usually her instinct was enough to make Woody relent. So what was it about this guy that kept him so on edge?

"Nice night for stargazing."

The sneaking up on people could be it.

"Nice view from here."

Woody grunted, still too breathless to speak. He was a cop, for crying out loud. He never let his guard down long enough to allow someone to sneak up on him.

"Didn't mean to startle you."

The hell you didn't! He held his tongue. "What are you doing here, Haley?"

"Chronic insomniac. Nice twenty four hour coffee shop around the corner. Found it last time I was in Boston. It's nice to see some things haven't changed."

Woody looked at him from the corner of his eye, said nothing.

Haley's voice was so low Woody almost didn't catch his words. "I admire her work, respect it. That's why I asked for her."

Woody rolled his eyes, looked out over the harbour. He wasn't in the mood for riddles.

"I expected more from her than you, Hoyt."

Woody gave him points for knowing how to push buttons. "You don't know a damned thing about her."

"I know she's vulnerable, but will never admit it. I know she seeks the good in everyone; blames herself when she's let down. She feels responsible for things beyond her control. She cares for you and it scares the hell out of her. How am I doing so far?"

"What do you want Haley?"

"It's what I don't want: Jordan to get hurt."

"Who says she will?"

Haley chuckled. "You're a piece of work, Hoyt. You've been on edge since the second I walked into the 19th Precinct." He saw Hoyt flinch; knew he'd hit a nerve. "We worked a case together; an important one, a dangerous one. One that left lasting impressions on her and shook her so much she still hasn't told you about it."

"How do you know she hasn't told me about it?" Woody demanded. He was tired. Tired of this case, tired of worrying about Jordan and tired of being psycho-analyzed by this freak.

"If she had, you'd understand our relationship. And we wouldn't be having this conversation." Haley paused, let that sink in then continued. "You have something special, Hoyt. Don't screw it up."

He never heard the agent walk away, but knew when he was alone. He contemplated what Haley had said; decided although it was subtle, the threat was still there. He needed to get back to Jordan's, needed to talk to her about this infamous case that connected her and Haley at such a deep level.

He all but ran back to her building. He passed on the elevator, took the stairs two at a time to the third floor. But his pounding on her door only succeeded in waking the neighbour, who was not happy with the noise.

"Hey! Keep it down or I'll call the cops, you idiot!" Woody turned to find Jordan's neighbour standing in the hallway. The guy looked like he'd been on a bender for the better part of the week.

Woody flashed his badge at him. "Where is she?"

"How the hell should I know? Chick isn't home for days then outta the blue, doors start slammin' and she goes high tailin' outta here 'bout an hour ago. Chick's crazy, you ask me. Cuts up dead people for a livin'. Creepy."

Woody swore under his breath and pulled his contact card from his wallet. "You see her, you call me, understand? I don't care what time it is."

"Yeah, okay. She in some kinda trouble or somethin'? You gonna arrest her? 'Cause I'd love to get into a bigger place and the wait list for this building is years long."

Woody shook his head in frustration, walked away. "Just call me!" He yelled over his shoulder as he waited for the elevator. He tried her cell phone, got her voice mail. Where ever she was, she didn't want to be found. And when Jordan didn't want to be found, the best thing to do was to go home and try to get some sleep.

He scanned the parking lot one more time before he got into his car. Where the hell are you, Jordan?

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She'd been sitting in the hallway outside his apartment door for close to an hour.

After she'd managed to get her tears under control, she'd taken a long, hot shower. She imagined she was washing away all the dirt and grime from the crash site and every horrible word she and Woody had said to each other that night.

She didn't get it. She just didn't get how he could kiss her senseless at her declaration of love and then turn into the green-eyed monster hurling accusations hours later. If she really let herself consider it, she supposed his behaviour could be attributed to his feelings for her, which could run deeper than she thought. But she was too afraid to consider the fact that Woody may love her. She was too afraid to be wrong.

His car wasn't in the lot when she'd arrived, so she knew he wasn't home. She couldn't phone his office; her new cell was at home on the charger and she hadn't thought to grab it before she ran out the door of her apartment. So, with nothing to do, she'd settled in to wait.

Now, it was almost an hour later and close to midnight. She was fighting to keep her eyes open and knew if she waited any longer, she wouldn't make it home safely. With her last bit of energy, she pushed herself to her feet and made her way to the elevator. She was too tired even to walk down the stairs.

As she made her way to her car, only one thought flickered through her mind. Where the hell are you, Woody?