Know Thyself

Chapter Seven

I wasn't certain how long I had been sitting on edge of the couch cushions just staring at the television. I was certain it hadn't been nearly as long as it felt. I was leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and my hands clasped together in front of me. The T.V. was silent but the picture on the screen was the same as it had been when Eric had paused the tape earlier. My VCR was old and a myriad of fuzzy lines distorted the frozen image though it was still recognizable. Scarlet's face was locked in an angry scowl that looked almost comical. With everything else I needed to think about I found it amusing I would even notice such a thing.

I had taken a short trip to the bathroom earlier while Eric had made a phone call. (Pam I thought, though I didn't ask and he didn't volunteer the information) I washed my face and neck with warm water, ran a brush through my hair and even dabbed on some lipstick and blush for some who-knows-why reason. Maybe I was trying to fake myself out, thinking if I didn't look like such a wreck on the outside that my insides would follow suit. If that had been my plan, I had failed miserably. I was a mess.

Eric was off the phone now and turned away from me, standing in front of the fire silently, looking at nothing. Maybe he was simply warming himself after being outside for so long in the cold, maybe he was trying to decide the best course of action to deal with me. His face told me nothing and I certainly wasn't about to broach the subject. I was feeling almost contrite, for lack of a better word, and more than a little anxious about my future (no matter how short a future I may have now).

I turned my mind to Victor Madden, trying to recall everything I knew about him. It wasn't much, not much at all. He was ruthless, I had been told. And he was a skilled liar, as he proved the night of the coup. Amelia thought he had eyes on advancement and Eric said he wouldn't waste anything he thought he could use. That was a scary thought. Victor was also trusted by and owed the King his loyalty. And Felipe De Castro had declared I was under his formal protection now. I wondered if that edict included Victor, as well.

"A fool with a silver net," Eric said suddenly and so softly I wasn't even sure I had heard him. I didn't even know if he was really talking to me.

I lifted my head and found Eric hadn't moved. I stared at his back, confused.

"What?" I asked carefully.

Eric turned to me, then. His face looked chiseled from stone, his eyes just as hard.

"Explain what you meant by 'sometimes'" he told me.

I must have looked as addled as I felt.

"You said you could sometimes read vampire minds," he explained slowly, his voice loaded with a forced patience.

Oh, right. It took me a minute to catch up, lost as I had been in my own thoughts. I shifted a bit on the couch. There was no way around this conversation and both Eric and I knew it.

"It's only happened a few times," I told him softly. I saw his eyes narrow in suspicion. "I swear. And it's completely different from the way I can read humans and even other supes. It's just flashes and it's real quick."

"Tell me."

I took a deep breath. In for a penny, in for a pound. "The last time before tonight was at Rhodes." I hesitated but a glance at Eric's face told me to keep going. He was clearly in no mood to play the hem and haw game. "At Sophie Anne's trial, when I said I heard Henrik's lawyer's thoughts...after I had already stood up I realized I had actually been hearing Henrik." I remembered, also, that Eric had stood with me that night, silently giving me strength and protecting my back. It was only by sheer luck my talent - curse - hadn't been discovered right then. If I would have been found out, Eric most likely would have died right alongside me, being viewed as a traitor or spy or worse. I hadn't considered that before. But Eric, clearly, had cottoned onto that in seconds. His face appeared whiter, if such a thing was possible.

"That was very dangerous, Sookie."

Wow, you think?

"I know that, Eric. When I realized what had happened I was completely terrified. I never wanted to be able to hear any of you. I never wanted to be able to hear anyone, but especially not vampires! That was one of the reasons I liked Bill so much, you know. Because he was silent to me and I could relax."

Eric looked at me for a long moment. "You should have told me," he said finally.

"I couldn't," I replied, looking down at my hands.

"We are tied, Sookie!" he thundered. Eric had never raised his voice to me like that and it shook me to my core. The look on my face must have been remarkable because Eric seemed to make an effort to pull back his temper. When he spoke again his voice was more controlled but still had a definite edge. "I have....we are bound. What effects you will effect me. I know our blood bond was against your will but that is irrelevant now."

"Irrelevant...?" I sputtered, hardly even knowing what to say I was so taken aback. "This is my life, Eric!"

"And I am trying to preserve it!" He was back to yelling. "It would be a great help if you would make at least some attempt to acknowledge that fact and possibly try to assist my efforts."

We stared at one another for a long while, but finally I found I couldn't hold onto my indignation. It was hard to have an argument regarding my welfare with an individual that had taken bullets for me. As my anger seeped away, it appeared Eric's did as well.

"Tell me the rest," He said at last, his voice flat, unemotional and cold but not exactly angry anymore. I thought for a moment.

"After the trial, I picked up on Gervaise for just a second or two. It was nothing dramatic, he was just thinking about Carla and how much he liked having something others wanted."

"Have you ever heard Bill?"

I shook my head. "Never."

"Me?"

The extended silence answered that question. Eric took a step towards me. I shuddered.

"When?" he demanded. His eyes were focused on me and I couldn't look away even though I desperately wanted to.

"The night you made me come to Fangtasia to read the humans about the money that was stolen."

His brows pulled together just slightly but he made no other movement. "Tell me."

I hesitated, but only for a moment. I was afraid I'd lose my nerve if I stopped now.

"Snakes," I whispered.

Eric's eyes widened. "Snakes?" he repeated, looking dubious.

I nodded. "You were thinking you could make me do anything you wanted, anytime. You could threaten me, or someone I cared about. Your mind, it was all cold and twisting. I felt like I had been dropped into a pit of snakes." My voice dropped until it was barely audible and I lowered my eyes. "It was horrible."

Eric didn't speak again for a long while and when I risked a glance up I found him staring into the fire. I wondered if the truth had hurt him, then I pushed away the influx of concern. He shouldn't have asked if he didn't want to know.

"And you have never forgotten," he said at last, turning to face me. "Is this why you pull back from me?"

Close, but no cigar, Viking.

"I'm not stupid, Eric," I told him, defensiveness creeping into my voice. "I know there is more to you than just that flash of your mind. If I thought you were nothing but a manipulative and dangerous snake I would never have spent one second longer with you than I absolutely had to. I would never have invited you into my home and into my bed, cursed or not. And to answer your question...no, I haven't forgotten and I never will. I don't think I can."

"Will you ever not fear me, Sookie?" Something in his face made me want to lie. I chose sarcasm instead.

"You're here now, aren't you?" I was starting to rally a bit, now that I was feeling a little better about the possibility of surviving the night. He just glared at me. He was still waiting for a real answer, but I wasn't sure I was ready to offer one. My offense kicked in, masking my hesitation.

"Let me ask you something, Eric" I said. "If the situation were reversed, would you be afraid of me?"

He thought for just a moment. "Perhaps," he said simply.

I thought so.

"Have you told anyone else about these 'flashes' you get?" he changed the subject quickly, going on in a detached manner, like a cop trying to gather information from a witness about some petty crime.

"No!" I said immediately. "I've never told anyone."

"Bill?"

"No one," I said emphatically. "I was planning to take that information to my grave." I cringed inside. Okay, bad choice of words. Eric's face seemed almost amused for just a moment.

"You have kept it to yourself all this time," he mused. "Until tonight. I wonder what happened."

"I know what happened!" I did some voice raising of my own, now. I pushed my hair back with both hands. "I let my guard down. I felt happy and safe, like I always do when you're around me now. And we were having fun, at least I was. I was thinking maybe..." I trailed off, not willing to let myself think of the simple enjoyment earlier in the night. "It doesn't matter. When I heard what Victor was thinking, when I thought it was you, it snapped me back so fast I just...lost it." I sagged back into the couch feeling bone tired.

Eric looked at me thoughtfully, almost with compassion. That was a new one.

"What are we going to do about this, Sookie?" Eric asked me, though I had a feeling he already had a good idea.

"Is that a question?" I asked him, my tone sullen.

Eric actually laughed, a short bark that sounded anything but amused. "Have you rescinded Victor's invitation?"

I sucked in a sharp breath. Oh hell, had I? The night of the takeover had been such an emotional nightmare; it was still a bit of a blur. I honestly couldn't recall. Yikes.

"I don't remember," I said slowly, sounding justifiably embarrassed.

Eric's brows raised. "I know how much you despise my telling you what to do, but I would like to suggest, in the most strenuous way possible, that you do that. The sooner the better."

I couldn't agree more.

"Did you know he was here the whole time?" I asked.

Eric's frowned. "No, but I suspected. Victor calls me every night on the office phone at Fangtasia. He tried to do so tonight, but of course I wasn't there. I assumed that would arouse suspicion with the King having left so recently. And as I told you earlier, Victor does not trust me." He looked at me sideways. "So it seems you two have something in common."

That was a cheap shot, but I may have deserved it. Maybe.

"He was the one on the phone earlier?" I asked, ignoring the jibe.

"No, that was another area Sheriff in the chain. But I received a text from Pam telling me Victor had tried to reach me at the club just after nightfall."

"She told him you were coming here?" I asked hesitantly. That didn't sound like Pam.

"No," Eric answered immediately. "But Victor is nothing if not well informed. It wouldn't have taken much for him to trace me. I knew there was the possibility he would have me watched, though I didn't think he would do it himself. When Bill came by earlier tonight, I knew someone had been sent."

I sat up straight. "You've lost me. What does Bill have to do with Victor?"

Eric looked at me for a long moment. "Bill has always watched over you, that is no secret."

No, it wasn't. I nodded.

Eric continued. "I told him if he ever suspected trouble he was find a way into your house so he could protect you physically." Eric's face went dark. "He...balked."

My eyes felt like they would pop from my head. I wasn't sure what offended me more; that Eric would order Bill to weasel his way into my house or that Bill would refuse to help me if I was in danger. Eric's motives I understood, which was kind of spooky when I thought about it. He was trying to protect me by the most direct means at his disposal (Bill). But it hurt me more than it should that my ex-boyfriend would hesitate to assist me.

"He balked?" I repeated, sounding not a little bit offended.

Eric nodded, watching me closely. "He said he gave his word that he wouldn't force himself or his company on you, so he refused my order, in a way. He said he would keep watch on you, as always, but he would not intrude upon you on mere suspicion, as he felt that would be a violation of the vow he made to you. He could not be dissuaded." Eric frowned. "He said he would only insist on entry if he knew the threat was imminent. And he sounded quite insistent tonight."

"Oh," I breathed, shutting my eyes. How many times was I going to have to jump to conclusions before I learned to keep my feet on the ground? Bill hadn't been hesitant to protect me if I needed him, he had simply been loathe to break his promise to me without good cause. He had even defied Eric to keep his word. I felt suddenly and deeply ashamed at myself. I was going to have to think on this later. And I was going to make sure I didn't miss church on Sunday, either. I hoped Jesus was more forgiving to me than I had been to others.

Just then the phone rang in the kitchen. I glanced at the clock. It was past midnight and I couldn't imagine who would be calling this late. Another ring. Eric looked at me expectantly.

"I should get that," I said and headed into the kitchen to grab the phone mid-ring."Hello?"

"Hey Sookie!" said an excited voice. Amelia.

"Oh, hi. Is everything okay?" She sounded absolutely giddy.

"Oh yeah, everything is great. I'm really sorry I called so late but I wanted to let you know Octavia and I will be staying with friends tonight and I didn't want you to worry when we didn't come home."

"Oh," I said, feeling a pang of guilt. I hadn't even thought about that with everything else going on tonight. Some friend I was. "Well, thanks for calling and letting me know. You sound like you're having fun."

"Oh yeah! It's amazing! I can't believe all the people we met tonight. We hooked up with some some witches from out of state that Octavia knows. They are really powerful, Sookie. One is an absolute legend! They invited us to come along with them while they did some work and of course we couldn't say no. We're heading there now. I'll tell you all about it when I get back, okay?"

I nodded, even though she couldn't see me. "That sounds great. I can't wait to hear about it." I knew my voice sounded anything but excited.

"You okay, girl? You don't sound like yourself?"

Perceptive.

"I'm fine. I've just been a little emotional today, I guess."

"PMS? I have some pamprin up in my room if you need it."

I choked out a little giggle. How I wished bloating and cramps were my biggest problems.

"Thanks, I'll remember. Tell Octavia I said Hi. I'll see you tomorrow then."

I hung up and walked slowly back to Eric and took my previous position on the couch. I peered up at him.

"So what's going to happen?" I asked. It was the fifty thousand dollar question, of course.

A short pause. "I'm not sure," Eric told me, his eyes focusing on something distant. "There are many variables at play now, and any one of them could change in a moment."

"What are you going to do?" I asked softly, though I was really and truly dreading the answer.

"What am I going to do," Eric mused, turning away from me again and gazing into the fire which was now only a lightly flickering flame instead of a roaring blaze. "An excellent question." He glanced at me for a heartbeat. "I should bite you. I should drain you and end it, here and now. You are both a vulnerability for me and a threat, a dangerous combination. I should kill you and bring your body to Felipe De Castro and throw it at his feet. I should tell him how you betrayed us by keeping secrets and spying in our minds. It would serve not only to rid me of our bond, but also to prove to the King that my loyalty is above reproach. I have lived too long to take chances with my life now and you have put me in a very difficult situation."

I was shaking. Any warm and fuzzy feelings I had around Eric had vanished quite thoroughly. .

"There are a dozen reasons I should take your life," Eric continued in a detached way. "Every instinct I have tells me what I need to do." He turned to look at me and his eyes were blazing with deep pain. "You are a silver net, weakening me, draining my strength. I should have rid myself of you long ago."

That was a pretty comprehensive explanation and I felt chilled from the inside out. But his words and his actions were polar opposites and I was filled with both dread and utter confusion. He made no move toward me, his fangs were retracted. So was he going to kill me, or not? I really, really hoped not, but I was tired of playing this game. I felt like one of those people in a bad action flick, where the evil arch nemesis takes the time to taunt his victim before doing them in.

"Why haven't you done it already then?" I asked him directly, though my voice was shaking. "Why did you come here tonight and act like you cared anything about me if I'm such a hassle to you?"

"You think my caring for you is an act?" He sounded genuinely offended.

"You hate feeling attached," I continued, ignoring his comment. "Pam told me. And you told me yourself you didn't like having feelings. So why did you even bother giving me blood in Rhodes when you knew we'd have this tie? You were perfectly happy just looking out for yourself, not caring about anyone else and now you've lost that, or so you say. You were strong and focused, and according to what you've said, I've taken that from you, too."

Eric's eyes were blazing hot and wild. "No," Eric told me, his voice clearly angry. He took a deliberate step towards me.

"If I allow something to be taken from me, then I am a coward. If I allow myself to lose something then I am a fool." He took another step, his eyes almost on fire. "When I gave you my blood, I did so willingly. When I swore an oath to risk my life to protect yours, I did so willingly. When I...." he stopped, closed his eyes and seemed to gather himself. "I knew my life would change. I knew I would be bound to you and your life and that I would feel compelled to take risks on your behalf. I knew my independence, as it was, would be tested. I knew the consequences, but make no mistake, Sookie, I chose to make that sacrifice."

"Why?" I breathed, shaken to my core by Eric's admonition. It was the one question I needed answered. The only one that mattered right then.

Eric regarded me for a long moment. "I'm not sure, yet."

Well, there was some brutal honesty back at you, Sookie Stackhouse.

I looked down, feeling the shame creep back up my spine. I hadn't considered the burden our bond had placed on Eric, I had been far too engrossed in my own feelings to see much else. I could add selfishness to my list of accolades. I lifted my eyes back to Eric.

"Is it very hard for you?" I asked. "Our bond?"

"I find myself preoccupied many times. It is one reason I maintained distance from you while I was hosting the King. I couldn't afford any distractions."

"Did that work?"

Eric had a ghost of a smile on his face. "Not as well as I would have liked."

I lowered my eyes again. "I know how you feel," I mumbled and I heard Eric burst into laughter.

"I wasn't trying to make a joke, here," I told him, irritation clawing up my back.

"We are such similar creatures, you and I," he told me, humor still evident in his words.

Now it was my turn to laugh, but just a little. I had a feeling he wasn't talking about hair color and as far as I was concerned that was where out similarities began and ended.

Eric walked over and sat down on the table in front of the couch, directly in front of me, and regarded me for a moment.

"Why did you save me the day the Pyramid was destroyed?"

I felt like I was starting to get whiplash just trying to follow the subject changes.

"What else could I do?" I asked, taken aback.

Eric's brows raised. "You could have run outside to safety like everyone else did that had a chance."

"I couldn't leave you and Pam to die."

"It was a foolish risk. If you hadn't been able to wake me, you would have died that day." He was speaking softly, and I could read nothing from his tone.

"But you did wake up." After some serious screaming and slapping on my part, but whatever worked. He was right, of course. In retrospect it was a pretty stupid thing to do. It was like my whole sense of self-preservation had flown right out the window. (Literally, as it turned out) "But I wasn't the only one taking crazy chances in Rhodes," I reminded him. "I recall a certain vampire trying to take a bomb away from me." I tried to smile a little.

"Unsuccessfully," he said, not sounding happy. "I could list many other incidents in which you and I have taken what could be viewed as suicidal gestures in regards to one another. And now, tonight, you told me - and, though inadvertently, Victor - that you are more dangerous than anyone had realized."

"What's your point here, Eric?" I was feeling exasperated.

"If you and I don't come to an understanding and deal honestly with our tie, one or both of us will eventually end up in a situation that we won't walk away from."

"I think I'm already there," I replied softly.

Eric considered for a moment. "Possibly."

I cringed. "Do you think Victor would really," I could barely put it into words. "Would he really try to turn me? Or will he just kill me?"

Eric leaned back. "Victor has risen quickly through the ranks and make no mistake on this: he has ambition like few others I've ever seen in my long life. As I told you, you are too unique to waste so I doubt he will actually try to kill you. He is good at reining in his temper, especially if he believes you can be of value to him at some point."

He paused, and I could feel something akin to panic begin to bubble up inside me. Eric must have felt it, too, because he changed his tone to something lighter as he continued. "Sookie, I doubt he would make an attempt on you - in any form - anytime in the near future. You are in the King's favor now and the weight of his decrees cannot be underestimated. Also, custom demands that he not attempt to take by force or coercion anything that is..." he paused, and I could have sworn Eric the Viking looked abashed for just a fraction of a second. But then he steadied himself and raised his head marginally. "Anything that is the lawful property of another Vampire."

My eyes went wide and my inner cave woman was ready to break a boulder over Eric's head. So I was Area Five property now. I sighed. Well, I had been called worse. And I couldn't justify being too angry about it since, as twisted as this logic was, it might save me, or at least buy me some time. And I took some comfort in the fact Eric at least had the good grace to realize he was treading on some very non politically correct territory. Old dogs, new tricks. I guess it is possible.

"So I'm safe, then?" I asked, feeling doubtful but hoping.

There was something behind Eric's eyes when he looked at me then. "Oh, no. If Victor goes to the King and tells him you can read Vampire minds, your life would be forfeit. Even if the King decided to keep you on as an asset - and there is no guarantee of that - your gift would eventually be recognized and Felipe De Castro's enemies would seek to strike you down. There is not a vampire in the hierarchy who would tolerate the knowledge that a human could see into their minds, even if only brielfy. We have far too much at stake and too much to hide."

I held my breath. That was exactly what I feared but being proven right gave me no pleasure. I noticed, too, that Eric was very clearly not excluding himself in that statement.

"But," Eric continued, "Victor knows what would happen as well as I do if he told the King, and he is not one to see something destroyed that could be useful to him. Killing you would be a waste of a powerful asset, especially since he is assuming - rightly - that the true scope of your abilities is unknown to others. This gives him an advantage and he will probably seek to keep it until he is in a more powerful position. Or until an opportunity presents itself where he feels he can safely take you."

"Take me?" I repeated, not appreciating the euphemism. "You mean make me a vampire."

"He could make a case for it. After all, he would simply be preserving an otherwise temporary asset, one not easily replaced."

The way Eric was telling me this, without emotion, was disconcerting. I felt uneasy and I was very aware that I was in the presence of an individual whose mind and way of life worked very, very differently than mine.

"He's a monster," I whispered. The very thought of having Victor Madden as my 'daddy' made my stomach churn with disgust.

Eric grew silent for a long few moments. He looked at me carefully. "He wasn't the first to consider such measures, you know."

"What? Who?" I stammered.

Eric raised an eyebrow.

I put my hand on my chest. "You?" Any contrite feelings I had about my mistake earlier dissolved in a rush. I may have been wrong about Eric's intentions tonight, but apparently it wasn't as off the mark as I thought!

"I have lived a very long time, Sookie. I've learned to recognize potential when I see it. So yes, I considered taking you as my own. But," he added quietly, "that was before."

Before what, I wondered?

"And do not forget Andre," he continued.

I shook my head. This was getting to be too much, too fast. "Andre just wanted me bonded to the kingdom. Well, you know that obviously, you were there!"

"I heard what he said to you," Eric replied softly. "Do you recall?"

I thought hard. I had tried so many times to forget that incident that had changed me so dramatically. "He said a lot of things" I answered sadly.

"He said he cared nothing about your plans for the rest of your 'human existence'. His implications were clear to me and I realized his intentions toward you. He would have first forced a blood bond with you and then he would have been able to turn you at his pleasure, whether that be one year or ten years later. I intervened, I did what I could to spare your life." He paused, his eyes far away again. "I used every means at my disposal to keep you safe," he added softly, almost sadly. Every means at his disposal, I thought ruefully. That was spelled F.A.N.G.S.

Okay, this whole night was getting to be a bit too much. I had thought I was going to die, I had spilled secrets and had found out at least three vampires had had designs on making me their vamp child. The only thing left would be a werewolf waiting in my car to bite me.

"So what should I do?" I asked. He had to have a plan. Eric always had a plan.

"I will deal with Victor. I will watch him and try to decipher his plans in regards to you without letting him know that I know." Eric grinned. If there wasn't a physical fight to be had, he would settle for a battle of wits. "He won't come after you directly, not now. You are - and I understand how much you despise the term, Sookie - in my retinue and that is not something even Victor can ignore. You're under my protection, both by custom and by order of the King. Plus, I have a certain Ace in the hole, as well."

I snickered at Eric's use of poker slang. I had no doubt Eric had not only an Ace, but also the whole deck stashed away somewhere.

Eric leaned forward. "Before I return to Fangtasia I will talk to Bill. I won't tell him specifics, of course, but I will let him know he is not to leave the area for his research projects or any other reason until I give clearance. He will be close if you need help. And of course the first thing I will do when I return to Sherveport will be to formally declare you as mine."

I thought I could actually feel my eyes dilate. "Excuse me?" I must have misunderstood.

"I will declare you as mine. Not just as part of my crew, but as my paramour."

I felt my mouth pop open. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. I pulled my hands back from Eric's grasp and stood up, walked across the room to give me some space. I turned back to Eric. "Oh no you won't," I told him, putting as much strength behind my words as I could muster. "I am not yours, and I'm certainly not going to be regarded as your whore just because that kind of crap holds some weight with your world."

"Sookie," Eric said firmly, "I know you and I still have things to work out, and we can sort them out in time. But for now, even if for the sake of appearance, it might help."

I held up my hand to stop him before he said anything else. "So you're suggesting I go around acting like your concubine on the off-chance it will stop another vampire from trying to come after me?"

"I understand this might be distasteful to you, but I think you should consider my offer." Eric sounded absolutely cool, like he was negotiating a business deal with a local blood supply chain.

I was ready to go right over the edge, taking sanity with me. This was Eric's big plan? To declare me as his woman, like he was a dog marking his territory? Brilliant.

"Sookie?" Eric prompted, standing up to his full impressive height. I whirled on him.

"Did you know that Bill told me once that if anything happened to him I was supposed to go to you?" I hadn't thought about that in a long while, but it still angered me that he had even suggested it.

Eric's eyes widened. "He told you that?"

"Yes. Like I was incapable of being alone, like I couldn't exist without someone to take care of me." I had flung my arms up as I spoke and Eric was staring at me like I had lost my mind, infuriating me even more.

"Look, I appreciate everything you have done for me. I mean that, sincerely. But this has to stop. I'm not going to get pulled deeper into any more of this vampire crap. I'm not going to role-play as your whore and I'm not going to be viewed as some unique little toy that's kept locked up in a safe until needed. I'm done," I put both up in front of me. "I'm out." Oh yes, I would be calling Niall first thing in the morning.

Eric's eyes turned hard. "We're bound, Sookie."

"Right, I know. You already reminded me of that, quite loudly."

We just glared at one another across the room for a long moment.

"I know you mean what you're saying," Eric said slowly.

"Well of course you do," I muttered sullenly. "I've had your blood, you've had mine. That's where all this mess started."

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"You know when I started hearing vampire minds, Eric? After I'd had blood. Bill told me I needed extra strength because he wasn't sure what you were going to do with me that first time you summoned me to Fangtasia. He told me to take his blood so I did. And voila! I hear you. Then everything was quiet again until after that bullshit in Rhodes. And it could have got me killed at the trial. And now, because of this damned bond that made me all warm and fuzzy I have Victor after me. Everything that happened tonight can be traced right back to you."

I knew it was unfair as soon as I'd said it. It was a nasty and mean and it wasn't even entirely accurate but I couldn't bring myself to care. And why should I? Why should I give a damn about a vampire that had tricked me, and loaned me out to buddies in Dallas and even thought about making me a vampire to preserve my 'usefulness'. No matter what I may feel for Eric, he was still a vampire, a whole different species I would never really understand. The more time I spent with him, the more immersed I became in a world I never wanted to be a part of. There was so little of my life left that I even recognized anymore I would not have the last pieces of it taken away. Eric needed and deserved to know that.

Eric just looked at me for a long while. Emotions flickered across his features too fast for me to follow. I saw anger there, and a hint of sadness, maybe. I recognized confusion and, finally, acceptance. He turned away after a few minutes and walked over to get his jacket. He slipped it on without a word and then turned back to look at me.

"If anything happens to me," he began.

"What?" I asked, cutting him off. "Go back to Bill, right?" Sarcasm practically dripped from the words.

Eric didn't move. "Call Niall. Tell him everything."

Damn right.

Then he turned away from me again and headed for the door.

"Can I ask you one thing?" I called after him and he stopped but did not turn around. "When you were saying you had thought about turning me, what did you mean when you said 'but that was before'?"

Eric stood perfectly still for long enough that I thought he wasn't going to answer. But he did.

"Before I came to the realization that your value was not in your telepathy. It was in your spirit. It was in your bravery and your humor and they way you could feel so fully and with such passion." He paused a moment. "It was in your humanity. I knew then that I could never take that from you."

He opened the door and took one step outside then glanced to the side so I could see his profile. "I will fulfill my obligation to you. If you call on me I will risk my life to save yours." He lowered his head and his voice just a fraction. "Beyond that, I will try not to burden you further."

Then he was gone.

-

To be continued

*Sorry for the delay in posting! My muse was playing hide-and-seek with me this week. The next installment is almost complete!