He turned and faced me. He cupped my chin in his hand and lifted my head so I was looking him in the eyes. "You know you can tell me anything Roza," he told me softly. That's when I burst into tears.

~ Chapter 7 – Impossible ~

Dimitri looked at me extremely concerned. "Roza, what's wrong?" he asked. I could hear the panic in his voice. I couldn't really blame him. The last time I truly cried in front of him was when Mason died.

"I don't know why I'm crying," I sobbed. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the building closest to us. I was glad that he got me out of the open courtyard. Most people would be asleep right now, but I didn't want to chance that anyone would see me. He brought me into a closet and then closed the door behind me. He wrapped his arms around me.

"It's okay. Roza, everything is going to be okay," he told me soothingly. I knew he didn't know what was wrong, but it helped to be in his arms. I eventually stopped crying and then I realized exactly what was happening. We were hiding in a closet to hide from other teachers and students. As soon as that thought passed through my head, I was laughing. And not a cute laugh, but that ugly I was just crying and now I'm laughing for absolutely no reason kind of laugh. Dimitri looked at me like I was insane.

I took deep breaths to calm myself down. "Sorry," I muttered.

"Are you ready to tell me what is wrong?" he asked me softly.

I ignored the question. I couldn't tell him what was wrong when I wasn't sure myself. I would never usually get this upset over something as silly as marriage. I needed to figure out exactly what was wrong before I was able to tell him. "Let's get to practice Comrade. Trials are fast approaching," I pointed out to him.

I expected him to argue with me, but to my surprise he nodded. I think he realized that I really did need to prepare for my trials, and that I wasn't ready to talk about it. "We'll talk later," he warned me. I wondered how I was going to get out of that conversation. Dimitri was very understanding, but even he had his limits.

We went to one of the practice rooms in the gym and started off with a few stretches. Then we worked on various Strigoi attacks. Dimitri was playing Strigoi, much like he had that Sunday when he had attacked us. Since that day, our practices had become much tenser. We knew each other too well now. One match between us could last over an hour and end with both of us giving up because we were too exhausted.

At that moment, he lunged at me with the speed of a Strigoi and I stepped out of the way, trying to swipe at him with my practice stake. I missed. He lunged for me again and I didn't get out of the way in time, my shoulder taking the force of the impact. He aimed a kick for my stomach and while I twisted to get out of the way, I felt a wave of nausea hit me. I ran for the bathroom. Dimitri abandoned the exercise we had been doing and once again followed me to the bathroom.

"Roza, what is going on?" Dimitri asked me concerned. "This is the fourth time this week you have gotten sick during training."

"I think I'm just stressed about the trials," I told him. I wasn't sure what else it could be.

He looked at me concerned. "Maybe we should stop for today."

I nodded at him in agreement. Getting sick really took a lot out of me. "Plus we need to have our talk," he reminded me.

I groaned. "Maybe I could handle a little more practice," I told him.

He grabbed my hand. "Not a chance," he warned. I sighed and followed him from the gym back to his room.

"I don't even get to shower, really Comrade?" I asked him angrily. My anger was extreme, and I knew it. He looked at me surprised. My anger disappeared as suddenly as it had come. "Sorry.

I don't know what just got into me."

"Are you still taking the darkness from Lissa?" He asked me.

I didn't look at him. "No," I lied.

"Oh Roza. You know how dangerous that is," Dimitri chastised. It was an old argument, something we talked about endlessly after the incident with Jesse. We never could come to an agreement.

"I know, but I can't just let her go crazy. I have to help her!" I insisted. I couldn't explain what it was like. If it was a choice between Lissa going crazy or me going crazy, I had a duty to Lissa.

"But look at how moody you've been lately. It's hurting you!" Dimitri pointed out.

"I have not been moody!" I said grumpily. Then I paused and laughed at the contrast between my tone and my words. After a moment, Dimitri joined in, but I could tell he didn't really find it funny. I looked away from him. I hated seeing him in pain and it was twice as bad knowing that I was the cause of his pain.

We paused outside of his bedroom. I was terrified to enter because I knew once I was inside, I wasn't going to be able to hide behind excuses. Once I entered, it would be me and Dimitri and I would have to be completely honest with him.

I think Dimitri realized that as well. He was giving me a chance to prepare before we entered.

After a moment, we entered his bedroom, and I took my usual seat on the edge of my bed. To my surprise, Dimitri laid down on the other side of the bed, pulling my toward him so that I was laying on my side, facing him. He brushed the hair out of my face.

"What's wrong Roza?" He asked me gently.