Thank you to Sharigan-Hikari, takuya, Hikory, FirieGurl, Empress-Dragon, Shaay, Akirakun17, Joan Mistress of Magic, Nekonoir, laurelangel, saruke101, Saria's-crown11, and knickknack99. I really appreciate it! This chapter we get into some Sakura-bashing, and… uh.. that's about it!
On the long trek back to Konoha, everyone was tired, and there wasn't any need to hurry as they had on the first leg of their trip. They traveled at a normal pace, walking through the wasteland in the daytime and stopping at night to form a large camp. The ninjas built bonfires that burned high into the air (a sign of total victory, for a ninja could never reveal his location when enemies still might be lurking) and told stories and played games long into the night.
As Naruto and Sasuke walked along together, on the day when the group left the wasteland and returned to the Konoha forest, Sasuke stole a surrepticious glance at Naruto. He was still in his girl form, with long blond pigtails and an inappropriately large male chuunin's outfit sagging at his waist.
"Hey, dobe," he said. "How come you haven't changed back?"
Naruto looked at him, and grimaced. "I tried this morning, but it's not working."
"Not working? Stupid, how's that possible."
Naruto shrugged. "I dunno. I guess since a medical nin was needed to activate the jutsu, one has to inactivate it as well?"
"Huh."
"Hey! Teme! You're laughing at me, aren't you!"
Sasuke smirked. "You're stuck as a girl."
"Yeah, so? I can still kick your ass!"
The other other Konoha ninjas escorting them home all began to roll their eyes. Where those two going to bicker for the whole trip?
When they returned to Konoha, the first thing Naruto did was to barge into Tsunade's office, demanding that she reverse the jutsu. Understandably, though, she was preoccupied with Kabuto's capture, and other things, and so didn't have time to devote to Naruto immediately. Finally she scheduled a meeting for him at the hospital in a few days's time.
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"Honestly, I don't know what's going on…" Hinata, who was working at the hospital, had been asked to give her opinon on Naruto's 'case'. She had activated her Byakugan, and given Naruto's body a careful going-over.
"Hmm.." said Tsunade. "Sakura, do you want give it a try?"
"Baba!" Naruto yelled. "Can't you just make this go away!" He lowered his voice. "No offense Sakura, Hinata, but I don't really want to be your guinea pig.
"Now, now," said Tsunade, warningly. "You want the problem fixed, don't you?"
"Um.. Tsunade-san.." Sakura was struck with an uncommon feeling of kindness for Naruto. 'That's ok, I think if Hinata's Byakugan can't find anything, there's no reason to think that I could either…"
"Hm… ok, fine… well, prepare to be impressed by my tremendous skill!" For a moment, Naruto thought Tsunade was going to strike him, and flinched. Instead, she just put her hands on his abdomen, and began to release tremendous chakra.
"Ooh! Wow!" Sakura and Hinata were very impressed. Sakura even clapped her hands together.
"There you go!" Said Tsunade. "Jutsu lifted."
"Uh? Tsunade-san.."
"Baba!"
"Hokage-sama.."
IT DIDN'T WORK!" Shrieked Naruto.
A few hours later, and even Tsunade was running out of ideas. "Tell you what," she told Naruto. "Go home. We'll figure this out eventually, I promise. In the meanwhile, being a girl's not that bad, right?"
Naruto was about to disagree, when he looked at the line of faces in front of him: Tsunade, Sakura, and Hinata. Any one of them, on their own, was scary enough.
"No," said Naruto, weakly. "Not that bad…"
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"Dobe."
"Ack! Sasuke, stop doing that!"
"Why are you still a girl?"
It was near dusk, Naruto having wasted the entire day at the Hokage's office, trying to get his jutsu (he was now starting to think of it as a 'curse') lifted. He had just been debating between going home (and eating cup ramen) or going to Ichiraku's (and eating restaurant ramen) when Sasuke had appeared beside him. "Do you really have to be so sneaky all the time?" Naruto gripped.
"Moron… this is a ninja village, remember? And I wasn't even being sneaky. You were just distracted. You're lucky I'm not an enemy nin…"
"Yeah, whatever… wanna go get ramen?"
Sasuke shrugged. "whatever." They turned towards Ichiraku. "Hey, you still haven't answered my question."
Naruto looked at Sasuke warily. The teme was definitely going to think this was hilarious… "Tsunade can't figure out how to fix it. For now."
Sasuke stared at Naruto. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah. You can start laughing now."
He couldn't help it. His mouth started turning up at the corners, to his trademark smirk, and then to something a little wider – a real smile. Naruto was so surprised that he momentarily forgot to be pissed off. Hey, he thought, Sasuke looks really hot like that… No! wait! Girl thoughts! Bad! He shook his head, as if, by shaking hard enough, he could make the weird ideas fall out of his head through his ears.
"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked, curiously. He brought his face closer to Naruto's, to examine him.
"Ugh! Nothing!" Naruto said. His life was already miserable enough as it was. It didn't need any more complications.
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The next morning, Naruto woke to the feeling of something warm, wet, and rather earthy-smelling, dripping it's way down his inner thigh. His first reaction was to ignore it, go back to sleep, and his second, on realizing what 'it' was, was to wake up in horror.
Oh my god… he mumbled, as he made his way to the bathroom… there it was. Contrary to popular belief, he was savvy enough to know what a period was. Probably the same thing that was now making his abdomen ache, so much so that, otherwise, he would have thought that the kyuubi was trying to escape.
Through some miracle – somehow, somewhere, somebody was still on his side – he managed to make it to a drug store, to buy some pads and some medicine, without running into anyone he knew along the way. Thank God team seven had the day off…
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Sasuke was waiting for him. Again.
"You're planning this, aren't you?" Naruto asked.
"Maybe, yeah."
"Why?"
"Isn't that obvious?"
"You're a horndog."
"So are you."
"So… let's do something about it?"
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It took Sakura almost a month from the time Naruto first tried out his modified sexy-no-jutsu before she realized that his being a girl was, in fact, a very bad thing.
The tip-off came one day when Kakashi asked team seven to meet for practice. She noticed that Naruto and Sasuke arrived together, but didn't think much of it. She didn't even think much of the red mark on Naruto's neck, until Kakashi started making jokes that were a little too pointed even for her to miss…
"A bee stung you, huh, Naruto?" The copy-nin teased. "Or was it a rash?"
Naruto rubbed his neck touchily. He looked annoyed, Sakura saw, but not embarrassed or even particularly concerned. Sasuke, on the other hand, was smirking.
God, she loved that smirk. Sometimes his arrogance could be so attractive… but, she realized, today Sasuke was smirking for a reason…
… she didn't much like.
Oh no, they couldn't be… she thought to herself, and then, with growing horror, oh no, they definitely are…
She remembered Ino-pig, a week or two after they had returned from the destroyed Sound village, making a crack, "now that Naruto's a girl, do you think he'll be competition?"
And Sakura, "No way, he looks hot, but a boy that's gotten turned into a girl is still definitely a freak."
But no… Sasuke… Sasuke... her mind frozen, her jaw dropped, Sakura numbly didn't notice that Kakashi and Naruto had become distracted from their arguing and were staring at her…
"Uh, Sakura-chan, are you all right?"
With effort, she struggled to restore her dignity. "Yes, Naruto, I'm fine."
But how could they be?
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She went out of her way to invite Naruto to dinner after practice. She definitely caught Sasuke glaring as they went off together. Oh my god…
"Naruto," she asked bravely, because she had to start out somewhere, "What are you and Sasuke doing?"
They had gone to Ichiraku, because that was where they always went, but for once Sakura had talked Naruto into sitting in the back instead of at the bar. She thought it was a little less conspicuous.
"What?" Naruto tried to play it dumb for a moment, and then gave up. "You were listening to Kakashi, huh?" He leaned back in his chair. "It's not like it's a big deal, because I'm not really a girl or anything."
"You're… uh… you didn't…" Her voice faded to a whisper, and then died away. Naruto was looking at her, confused. Recklessly, she summoned up her courage. "You aren't sleeping together…"
Naruto coughed so hard that he almost spit out his mouthful of ramen. "Gross, Sakura, no!"
She sighed with relief.
"We were just, you know, fooling around a little."
It was her turn almost to spit.
"You're
what?"
Naruto shifted uncomfortable. "Like I said,
it's not a big deal. I'm not really a girl… We're not in a
relationship, or anything." He shuddered in an overly-dramatic way
at the thought.
Sakura sat, almost frozen to her chair. A range of emotions flooded through her – white-hot anger, confusion. What the hell was Sasuke thinking? Naruto was an idiot, but Sasuke? Why would he do such a thing with Naruto, but not with…
"Don't worry about it," said Naruto. "It's because I'm not a real girl that we're doing it. Sasuke wouldn't fool around with a real girl!"
That probably hadn't come out exactly the way he meant it.
"I mean, if there was a girl he liked, we would stop. And he would treat her really well."
She tried to think, and, miraculously, the bits of thoughts that had been thrown up, into confusion, began to settle back into a distinguishable pattern. So it was what she had thought, after all. All morning, during practice, she had been thinking about how to address this.
"Ne, Naruto," she said, softly. "You know I'm your friend, right?"
Naruto looked at her, surprised. "Yes, I know, Sakura."
She paused. "And you know… I wouldn't say anything unless I thought… I should really say something."
"Ok." He frowned. "What is it?"
"You and Sasuke really shouldn't be doing this."
He gazed at her steadily. His blue eyes looked murky, for once, and she saw that he was confused.
"It may not be a big deal for you, like you said, but do you think it's fair to Sasuke? He needs to meet a real girl, you know, one day. You guys are best friends, so he may be comfortable with you, but… you aren't a real girl. Do you see what I'm saying?"
Naruto shook his head.
"As long as you guys are together, don't you think Sasuke will be less likely to look for a real relationship? And I think…" she sighed, and momentarily felt almost proud with her own acting. "he needs that."
Naruto stopped shaking his head and nodded. "Let me think about it, Sakura," He said.
"No, on second thought, you're right. I didn't really think about thing that way before. You're right, we better stop."
Sakura smiled. "Thanks, Naruto, for not getting mad at me."
"No, thanks for saying so. I'm glad you felt like you could be honest with me."
They finished their ramen in uncharacteristic chatter. Usually, Sakura found it irksome to follow Naruto's rambling conversation, but today she felt she owed it to him. "Damn," Naruto said, as she slurped up the last of his noodles. "I kind of don't know how to tell Sasuke, though."
Sakura frowned. "Just tell him you're not into him."
Naruto blushed faintly. "I don't think he'd buy it."
She paused. "Just tell him you thought it was weird, because you're both guys. Don't tell him the truth, because…"
"Yeah," Naruto said. "I sort of get it. Good night, Sakura-chan."
She watched his form as he walked out of the restaurant. His hips swayed ever so slightly as he walked, when he squeezed past a man sitting at the bar she say how his breasts just barely touched the man's back, and the man shivered. He's not a girl, though, she thought to herself, stubbornly. And I don't want Sasuke ending up with him. Anyone else, but not Naruto…
xoxoxoxoxo
He turned away from Ichiraku towards the Uchiha quarter, and then, after a moment of deliberation, turned away and walked back towards his apartment instead. Going to Sasuke's place was too dangerous, it was better to 'break up' in the morning, before training or something, when the teme couldn't argue.
But when he neared his building, he saw a faint shadow on the roof, looking down at him. Sasuke. Naruto sighed. What had he been thinking, any way? He had been a teenaged boy himself long enough to know that guys had libidos.
He stayed down on the street, put his hands on his hips, and looked up. "We should talk." He said.
Gracefully Sasuke jumped down to stand next to him. "Talk?" He said, suggestively, leaning in towards Naruto.
Firmly Naruto used his hand to push Sasuke back. "Just talk. From now on. No more of," he gestured vaguely, "this."
Sasuke looked surprised, and then his eyes flashed. "Let's go inside," he said.
Naruto nodded. "Fine."
He flicked the light on as opened the front door. Sasuke followed him in and flopped on his couch. Naruto sat down, across from him.
"So?" Sasuke said. "What is this?"
"I thought about it – the… uh.. fooling around. It's not really a good idea. So I think we oughtta stop."
"Why?"
Naruto frowned, and looked at the floor. "It's kind of creepy. I'm really a guy, and you're a guy, and one of these days I'm gonna go back to being a guy. I don't want to have to get therapy for the next fifty years."
"You didn't seem worried about that the other day." Sasuke said, flatly.
"Yeah?" Naruto shot back, "well, I thought about it again. It's not a big deal, yeah, but it's not really good for us." Without thinking about it, he clasped his hand over his mouth. But Sasuke had already picked up on his comment.
"What do you mean? Hm? What do you mean, dobe?"
Frowning, Naruto repeated Sakura's argument from earlier that evening, leaving about the part about Sakura being the one to give it to him.
"That's ridiculous," Sasuke said, flatly. "If I meet a girl, I'll let you know. In the meanwhile, it's not an issue."
"No, it is," Naruto insisted. "Just the fact that we're… you know… might make you less interested, you know, in looking for a real girl. Guys are horny for a reason, you know? Maybe there shouldn't be a… uh… easy fix."
Sasuke looked at him. On the surface expressionless, inside he was breathlessly reformulating what he wanted to say. "Well, as far as I know," he said, eventually, casually, "I don't think that's been the case at all. As far as I can tell, all we've been doing has been getting me worked up, and since we never go all the way there's no relief. That ought to just be making me more frustrated."
"Well, excuse me," Naruto snapped. "So making out has been a big chore for you, huh?"
Sasuke smirked. "I wouldn't say that. But I would say, if you wanna stop doing this, you should at least let me do everything first."
Naruto made a face. "No. Ugh."
"What's the big deal?" Sasuke said. "You said yourself, it's not really your body, you don't mind seeing what stuff feels like."
"Yeah, but that's… a little…"
"What?" Sasuke teased, lightly. "Are you scared?"
Naruto snorted. "Don't be stupid."
"Oh, are you acting like a real girl, now? Protecting your maidenhood?"
Naruto snorted again.
"So, I think that's fair. You think us making out is bad for me, I think it's fine – and I ought to know better what's best for me, anyway. But, if you think we should stop, at least let me put it in. Once."
He watched Naruto's eyes. They really were windows to the soul, Sasuke had realized, and by watching them he could tell when Naruto's resolution was strong, when he was hurt but trying not to show it, and when – like now – he had gotten twisted up in a mess of tangled arguments and didn't know quite what answers were correct. Sasuke knew from experience that Naruto wasn't a thinker. His response to mental confusion was usually to make a snap judgement: whatever seemed easiest.
"Fine," the blond snapped. "Fine, we can fuck. Just don't blame me if it's totally awkward later."
Sasuke had already started moving, before Naruto finished his sentence, he was on his feet, pulling Naruto up from his chair, pushing him back against the wall. He started kissing him and felt Naruto's body relax a little, begin to lean into him.
"I don't know why," he muttered, in between kisses, "you think I would ever be awkward…"
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In the morning, light streamed through Naruto's bedroom window, and Sasuke woke a moment before the blond, sleepily shaking his head for a moment before he figured out what time it was, where he was, and why. Naruto was still sprawled on the bed next to him, and a quick look under the sheets assured Sasuke that the boy/girl was still naked. Naruto, feeling Sasuke begin to move, opened one eye, lazily, and then began a magnificent stretch that made Sasuke remember all sorts of things from the night before. Casually he reached down and, pushing back the sheet, grabbed Naruto's breast. He rubbed it gently with his thumb.
"Hey, stop that," Naruto said. "No more funny business." His voice was thick from sleep.
Sasuke didn't reply, but bent his head down, and bit Naruto's nipple, so lightly that it was barely anything, but he heard the blond gasp. Smoothly he pushed his hand down, between Naruto's legs.
"You're already getting wet," he said, with satisfaction.
Naruto tried to glare. "Whose fault is that, just now?"
"Well, we might as well take care of it, before I go…" From lying together side by side, Sasuke rolled himself on top of Naruto, and positioned himself between the blond's legs.
"Horndog," Naruto muttered.
"You're pretty in the morning," Sasuke teased, and began to move over the blond.
xoxoxoxoxo
Sakura waited under the tree where team 7 was set to meet in another half an hour. She was early, but she had found that she liked the site, as it was a busy place in the village. Many people passed back and forth under the broad leafy branches of the elm, and she enjoyed chatting and catching up on the village gossip as they ran into her. Plus, there was always the chance that Sasuke would arrive a little early…
With that thought, a soft thump alerted her to the fact that the young jounin had, in fact, arrived. Smiling brightly, she turned to face him, and saw-
-a glare, so much fiercer than the one Sasuke almost always wore that even Sakura couldn't really write it off.
"Sasuke-kun… she began, hesitantly. "You're early too…"
"You." Sasuke said, short and angry. "You are one meddling bitch, aren't you?"
"I don't know what you mean, Sasuke-ku.."
"Listen. You do not want to make an enemy of me. You get it? Naruto."
Sakura quaked, and tried to think fast. "It wasn't me."
"Oh yeah it was. No way Naruto thought of all the psychobabble he started talking last night on his own, and you're the obvious candidate." He started.
Sakura shook. So he knew. All that time, she thought that she'd really given up on Sasuke – in fact, she had never believed he would come back, and had thought she could move on to Lee freely, keeping Sasuke as just a memory in her heart. And then he had come back, and… proximity brought all the old feelings back, even against her will, and even her better judgment. So Sasuke had understood all those hints he'd seemed to ignore, all the little looks she hadn't been able to help but give him.
Still, she could try and protect what little bit of pride she had left. "I gave Naruto one argument, but I'll tell you the truth. It's not good for him, Uchiha." She used his family name deliberately.
"Bullshit. You can't manipulate me the way you do him. You," he spat out the words, "Don't want either of us to be happy. Naruto pining for you, and you pining for me, and me pining for him. You'd rather we go back to that same old triangle forever, wouldn't you? I'll tell you a secret," he leaned in, close to her, and she couldn't help shivering. "I've liked him for a long time. A long time," he drew the words out. "And I've finally seen my chance. So kunoichi who don't know how to mind their own business better learn. Fast."
Sakura barely managed to croak out a question. "How long?"
Sasuke moved back a step, and smirked at her. "You could say I'm bi, I guess. I've wanted Naruto from way before he became a girl. But him as a girl is fine too. I don't care what gender he is, as long as it's Naruto."
"But you guys… have just been playing around, he said."
He looked annoyed. "He may think that way. But I'm trying to get him used to the idea of a relationship with me. Naruto is… skittish. That is just the first step."
She would have been pissed off if she wasn't so scared. "Sasuke…" she muttered. "You're not normal, are you..."
He smirked again. "Oh, you just now noticed?" He turned away, and then looked back. "Don't think of telling him anything about this conversation, by the way." Quickly he activated his Sharingan, and flashed his eyes at her. "Ok?" He asked, almost sweetly.
"Deal…" Sakura whispered, defeated.
