'When two people are supposedly in love, they partake in sexual activity, a very intimate act which stimulates the body and mind. The nerves in your genitalia feel pleasure, which causes the release of endorphins to the brain. These give the feeling of happiness or comfort and ultimately results in pleasure. Although it is a most enjoyable act, some less likely results can be disincentive. STIs such as AIDS and HIV are dangerous and almost incurable, Chlamydia and Syphilis are extremely uncomfortable but not life-threatening. Unwanted pregnancy is the most common cause for distress from the outcome of unprotected sex.'

Unwanted pregnancy. Unwanted is the key word there. I do not want it. Not now, not ever.

I was rushed back to the hospital after the meeting with Peeta went haywire. Early, false contractions, and bad ones at that, due to my tiny hip expanse and wrecked body, caused the pains in my stomach. Peeta kicking me flat in the chest didn't exactly help. He ruptured an alveoli branch in my lung. They said it's not dangerous but I'll need to take medication for a while. I lost track of what happened after that. Haymitch carried me back here and I passed out from the pain. Pain. All I could think about in that moment. Guess I'm sort of used to it now considering my whole life was built on it. More pain is to come now, though. Now that I'm pregnant.

"I don't want to be in here any more! Can I please go?" I say to Atlana who is not listening to me at all. She knew I was pregnant all this time but didn't want to tell me until Peeta was better, if he ever does get better.

"No." She says flatly. When she told me she knew I screamed at her and got angry, so angry she stopped talking to me. It was a bit unfair that I screamed because it's not her fault; I was just so annoyed at myself and the situation I'm in that I took it out on her. It isn't fair, but right now I couldn't care less. Really, I should have been the first one to know I was pregnant, and get to decide who I tell and when.

"I need to get out of here, I need to think!"

"No, Katniss."

"Ugh!" I throw my hands up in exasperation. Feeling irritated and angry, I try to get up by myself. Immediately I find out that that is not an option. A thick tube is attached to my belly button and runs across my stomach to a big, shiny metallic machine. It yanks me back when I try to get up. I fling the covers off of me and fiddle with my belly button, just as Atlana pushes my head down with her arm.

"What are you-"

"Stop!" She says restraining me. I try to push her off with all the strength in my arms, which is not a lot right now, unsuccessfully. She is a lot stronger than I am.

"You are not going no-where sweet cheeks." She wrestles me back into the bed and presses a button the side of the bed, which enables some sort of invisible force field thing that means I can't get up or move from my neck down even if I tried.

"Turn it off!" I say trying to wriggle around.

"Turn it off now!" She doesn't. She just walks around the bed and goes back to whatever it was she was doing before. I start screaming at her but she doesn't listen. Instead, my voice begins to echo around me. It's as if it is bouncing off of the walls back to my eardrums. The force field is obviously sound proof as well. Great.

After half an hour or so of this annoying solitary confident Atlana presses a button that releases the force field. As soon as she does, I'm on her.

"Why did you do that?"
"Because you wouldn't bloody shut up."
"Well, can I go now?"
"No."
"Why not?! I'm fucking sick and tired of lying around in this hospital bed crying over Peeta. I NEED to get out, now!" I scream. She sighs.

"Transfer machine isn't finished yet."

I look over at the big square shiny thing that I'm attached to.

"What is it doing?"
"Giving you pain relief and the baby nutrients."
"Well when will it be finished?"
Atlana looks at her watch.

"Ten minutes."
"Okay then, so I can go in ten minutes?"

"I guess." She says, still not happy with me and the fact I got mad at her.

"Look, I'm sorry I screamed at you. It's just that I…it was such a shock and SUCH bad timing. I wanted to be the first to find out, you know?" She nods and comes to sit on the side of the bed.

"When you found out you were pregnant, I bet there were some people you didn't want to tell yet, or you didn't want anyone to know yet because you weren't sure how you felt or what to do? Well, I don't know how I feel and I didn't even get to choose who I told and when. It's such a…personal thing, I just…" I trail of in frustration.

"I know. I get how you are feeling, but desperate times call for desperate measures. You were all ready so upset about Peeta, I didn't want you to have to worry about his baby as well." She says.

"And no one else knows. Me, Haymitch," she point down the hall to no one in particular, "Dr. Graham and you. That is all. You can decide who else you tell now."
Who else is there to tell besides Peeta? My mother. Is that it? I'd tell Gale but I don't know where he is. We haven't spoken since Snows execution. Johanna maybe. And Annie. I could send them a letter or call them. But not until Peeta is ok. I have to tell him first; he is the father after all.

"So, I can go now?" I say and almost a split second after I do the big machines begins to beep. It sounds like a high-pitched microwave. Atlana fiddles with the tube in my belly button. I feel a sharp pain as it leaves me and then, once all the way out the beeping stops.

"Maybe wait for Haymitch to come back." She says. He left an hour or so ago to get a drink, of course.

"Okay. Can I at least get ready to leave? Like, can I get changed?"
She nods so I swing my legs out of the bed and get onto my feet.

I change into a pair of tight blue denim trousers and a silky black top. It isn't mine so doesn't fit all too well. I constantly have to pull the neck up as it keeps revealing my bra and the straps keep falling off of my shoulders. A pair of white canvas shoes are on my feet. Once I am dressed I listen to Atlana as she gives me the long list of things I need to make sure I do when I go home. Take one of these little luminous pink tablets once a day, a spoonful of this thick white syrup once a week and make sure I don't sleep on my front. Also I have to come back here for a check up once every month.
After that I wait until I see Haymitch come around the corner. He looks surprised to see me up. Probably because I've spent the past five or so days looking like absolute shit in that bed.

"Hello sweetheart. Nice to see you up and at 'em."

"Isn't it just?" I say.

"So, why exactly are you up, looking at me so expectantly?"
I cross over to him and grab his hand, leading him to the hallway.

"Because, Haymitch. I am leaving."

"Whoa, leaving where?"
"Leaving the hospital to go home."
He shakes the grip on my hand.

"But you just collapsed in a screaming heap. You've got a ruptured thingy-ma-bob, you have to stay."
I shake my head. "No, Atlana said I could go because I've got medicine and everything is finished here."
"What does that mean?"
I sigh. "It means I can go!"
He looks over at Atlana. "Yes, she can go now, but has to return once a month for a check up." She says squeezing my shoulders.

I turn around and hug here. "Thank you for everything you have done. I'm so sorry I got angry because I couldn't have asked for a better nurse. I am so grateful." I say. She gives a small laugh. "It was a pleasure to help you Katniss. Stay happy and beautiful. Hopefully I'll see you in the maternity wing." When we let go, I take Haymitch's hand and walk around the corner, leaving that hospital room hopefully forever.

"So what are we going to do about Peeta?" I say to Haymitch as the cab turns down the road leading to the victory village. A long huffy sigh/ breath escapes his lips.
"I think in a week or so he can come back. Until then, it's best we let the doctors coax and medicate him."
"But will he be okay?"
"I'm sure he'll be fine.

I look out of the window and touch the cool smooth surface. Rain droplets racing down the glass condense in the rubber at the bottom. It is humid rain. The hot September air outside reacts with the rain and causes a steamy humid atmosphere. The cab pulls up outside our house.

"So, when should I tell him?" I say.

Haymitch unbuckles his seat belt and opens the door, pulling the hood of his jacket up over his head to shield him from the rain.

"Whenever you want to."
I open my door and hop out, rushing to the front door as the rain hits my skin. Haymitch pays the driver and comes over to me. I fiddle with the key that was in my pocket and the door creaks open. The smell of antiseptic is the first thing to hit my nose. For a minute we just stand there, staring at the sad lonely house.

"Alright, get in. I'm getting drenched here." He says, pushing me inside.

I stumble into the kitchen first and find the pool of antiseptic and blood has crusted on the floor.

"Haymitch." I yell into the hallway.

"Haymitch!" He comes into the kitchen.

"What?"
I point to the floor near the sink.

"Oh, do you want me to clean it up?"
I nod and he goes over to get a sponge from the sink. He wets it little bit with water from the tap and then kneels down and stats to scrub the mess. It comes up in little flakes, like shaved cheese of dry skin. I walk up the stairs and head to our bedroom, knowing there will be more mess in there. The door is off of its hinges and smashed in almost half with splinters of wood all over the floor. The bed sheets are ruffled and messy and there is a massive dent with cracked paint on the wall next to the window. A large crack crosses the glass of the window and creates a shattered spider web in the top left corner. There are little blood drops splattered around the room. It's awful to look at. I walk around to the bed and sit down on it. With my left hand I scrunch up the duvet and squeeze it. The white sheets are doted with red. I want to wake up tomorrow morning in this bed, looking into Peeta's icy blue eyes. Wrapped in his warm muscular arms that ward off unwanted memories and nightmares. I will have him back, I know I will. I hear footsteps from behind me and see Haymitch in the doorway.

"God." He says.
"We've got a lot of cleaning up to do."