I tried to eat as much as I could handle. No one needed to know why I wasn't hungry. Miraculously, I could see James ravenously cramming food into his mouth like there was no tomorrow. I marveled at his abilities. I knew for a fact that on the way back through the tunnel a mere hour ago, he had eaten a good pound or two of chocolate. Boys. Human garbage disposals. As if on cue, Lucius Malfoy shoved a drumstick into his mouth and tried to drink his pumpkin juice at the same time. Gross. I shook my head in disgust. And he was supposed to be a pureblood? With manners like that, he ought to be a bloody squib.

Strange, I'd never had anything against squibs before. I finally finished my plate and declined the treacle offered me by Severus. Claiming an excess of potions homework (another flat-out lie), I left the Great Hall and shuffled off towards Slytherin common room. Once I made sure the dorm was empty, I gathered the candy I had left strewn about my bed and tossed everything into my trunk, which I then locked tight. I made sure no wrapper or box was left in the open, lest a dorm-mate find it and raise unwanted inquiries.

I sifted through my bag for homework, then realized the only homework I had was probably in transfiguration, which I had skipped. Oops. I made a mental note to go see Professor McGonagall after breakfast tomorrow and clear things up. I had a headache? Stomachache? Maybe I was tired… allergies? What would she believe- damn! More bloody lies! When is it going to end?!

I sighed heavily and threw myself down on my back, arms folded behind my head. Staring up at the ceiling, I wondered whether Severus noticed my transparent excuses. I turned on my side and stared out the window as two other girls entered the dorm, laughing stridently at something known only to themselves. I stared out at the moon. A huge silver orb hanging, vibrant against the black sky. Even thousands of miles away, I could see seas and craters etched in its glowing surface. As I closed my eyes, drifting into an inexorable sleep, I heard the faintest sound under the cover of the giggles. A far away sound, like the howl of some lonely wolf…


Two weeks after the candy voyage, I found myself in the owlery with a letter in my hand and a barn owl on my shoulder. The letter had my mother's name on it. The owl was getting impatient. I sighed and after a few more minutes, I finally tied the letter to the owl's scaly leg and sent it off into the sky. The rising sun sparkled off the dew on the ground as I climbed out of the owlery.

I trudged across the grass to the castle. Breakfast had already started. I sat down across from Severus. Lily was sitting next to him again, earning her some nasty glances from Slytherins on all sides, which she chose to overlook as she laughed at something Severus had just said. Sev looked at me as I reached for a piece of toast.

"Good morning," he greeted me. "How are you doing?"

"Why do you ask?" I inquired nervously.

"You just… seemed a little out of it last night." Lily nodded behind him.

"Well, you don't have to worry," I assured him as I piled bacon onto my plate. "I'm fine, never been better!"

"Oh… OK." He didn't seem to believe me, but I let it go.

As the days, then the weeks, went on, I hid things more and more often. I didn't let Sev know when I snuck out at midnight to meet with James, who led me down a flight of stairs in the entrance hall into a huge corridor. He showed me a giant picture: a still life of a bowl of fruit. Then he reached up, tickled the pear, which turned into a door handle, and opened it like a door, a door that led straight into the kitchen. The huge room was full of House Elves, who were more than happy to pile food into our arms before we left. With our pockets stuffed, we snuck all the way back to our individual common rooms, stifling giggles after narrowly missing Mrs. Norris, Filch the Caretaker's mangy, evil cat, being pelted with chalk by Peeves, the poltergeist.

I also didn't tell him when I studied with James in the library at lunch after telling Sev I couldn't study with him because I needed to see Slughorn, or when James and I snuck up to the Astronomy Tower to begin our star charts, which were due the next morning. Yes, James and I seemed to be getting along lately, but Sev didn't know that. In fact, just that morning, Sev and I had run into James and his gang. The conversation went something like this:

"Potter." -Me.

"Fawkes." -His response.

"I see you've got all of your lackeys with you, as usual." Very convincing.

"And I see you've got your bitch with you." Ouch.

"At least he doesn't smell like wet dog, like yours." A-ha, I got him.

"True, but mine don't smell like the lake in summer." Very good.

"You know, I would suspect that your insults are just to distract from your poor Quidditch skills, Potter."

"Touché, but you're in no position to be criticizing my skills, loser." He grinned his horrible cocky grin and raised his eyebrows. It would've annoyed the hell out of me last month, but now that I knew he didn't mean it, it didn't bug me at all.

"We'll see about that next match." I gave him my own haughty sneer.

"Why don't you just crawl back under your rock, Ssslytherin, I wouldn't want you melting in the sun." At this, Black's lip twitched, as if he wanted to join in the fight. Behind me, Sev was nearly vibrating; he was just itching to fight. This had to end soon.

So I gave. "Hmph." I turned up my nose, hugging my books to my chest, as I shoved past the four idiots, accidentally stepping on an unsuspecting Remus Lupin's left foot.

"Ow!" He yelped. I could have apologized, but I had to look mean in front of Sev, to keep my Slytherin rep. I strode down the hall, away from Lupin's muttered curses.


November 16, a week before the big match between Slytherin and Gryffindor, we were stuck practicing in the pouring rain. It was freezing out and dark. I was nearly frozen to my broomstick. Eighty feet in the air, I stopped my pursuit of the Snitch to warm my hands. I'd tried wearing gloves with fingers, but it was too hard to grip the handle. I inspected my exposed fingers. They were completely blue.

My breath came out in smoky clouds. About an hour into the session, I spotted the flash of gold. I sped toward it, narrowly avoiding both bludgers and a goalpost, before finally snatching the slippery ball out of the air. Lucius still made us practice for three more hellish hours before lunch, when we trudged into the Great hall still in our sopping Quidditch robes. Ignoring the stares and Gryffindor's laughing, we sat down, glaring at Lucius. The bastard made us practice all morning. We'd started right before breakfast.

I shook my head violently, spraying half of my fellow Slytherins with rain water, causing an uproar of "Ugh! Come on!" at which I merely laughed and grabbed the nearest drumstick. I glanced up. Just for a second, but it was enough to catch a glimpse of James Potter at the Gryffindor table. He was looking at me, no- gazing at me. There was a vaguely dreamy expression on his face, but when I looked up to confirm what I had seen, he was joking around with Black. Had I imagined it?


It was time.

November 23. The day of the big match. It was still raining. I had stepped into the pitch mere seconds ago and I was already wringing out my robes. With the freezing rain pouring nearly parallel to the ground, I could barely see Lucius three feet away. How was I supposed to spot the Snitch?

"-lright, Slyther… ready to… those Gryff… whose boss… with me?" was all I heard Lucius Malfoy say, but I joined in the team war cry anyway. Three hours after lift-off, I hadn't seen a single other player or the Snitch. I was just starting to wonder if I had wandered off the pitch, when a bludger missed me by a hair's width.

At one point, about five hours into the grueling match, I heard that announcer girl, whose name I found out was Beatrice or Bellatrix or something like that. She was screaming something at Longbottom, and included a lot of profanity.

I wondered what our score was. If we were down by more than one hundred fifty points, I would have to hold off catching the Snitch until there was less of a margin. Then again, I thought selfishly, the sooner I catch the damned thing, the sooner I can go back inside. I shook the rain from my hair and the thought from my head. No. I wouldn't jeopardize my house's pride for warmth and comfort.

I stopped for a second to warm my hands and rub the water out of my eyes. I looked up in time to see James suddenly turn around and zip towards the ground. I immediately gripped my broom and darted after him. I saw him reaching out as the wind threw his wild hair back. The look on his face was determined and focused, and he didn't even seem to notice me coming up hard on his left side, perpendicular to him. As I approached him, I turned down and flew alongside him, straight toward the ground. Still, he didn't see me. It seemed strange that someone could see a gold super-ball whiz by him in the rain, but didn't notice a whole person two inches away.

As we neared impact, I began to look for the Snitch. Where was it? James seemed to see it, but it was no where in sight. What was he playing at? As soon as I wondered, I knew. By the time I had registered what was happening, James had pulled away, vertical to the ground. The Wrongski Feint. The oldest Seeker trick in the book. I screamed, but only for a second, because then I slammed into the mud.

Had the ground been hard, I would probably have died instantly. As it was, the ground was just soft enough that I was still alive, and conscious. I heard the crowd vocalize fear and surprise. Slytherins cursed and Gryffindors cheered. How mean! How could you cheer against a dead person? For surely that's what they all thought. The announcer began screaming. "DAMN IT POTTER! YOU CAD! YOU TWIT! YOU'VE KILLED OUR SEEKER! I'LL THROW YOU INTO THE LAKE, I WILL! I SWEAR I WILL! I'LL KILL YOU! CHEATER! CHEAT-" At this point, I suppose McGonagall had stopped her. I suddenly felt a warm hand on my face. Opening my rain-filled eyes, I saw who it was. Blurry, but still there… James?

"Sylistia! Oh my God! You were supposed to pull up, stupid!" Stupid? Did that jerk just call me stupid? I should punch him! Unfortunately, I couldn't move at all. Oh, no. Was my neck broken?! I was freaking out. What was I going to do? Damn you, Potter. I… I trusted you. Nevertheless, he caressed my face. Why? He nearly killed me. "Come on, Sylistia!" He yelled. "No, don't go to sleep!" But I'm so tired…

"Sylistia!" That was Sev. I tried to open my eyes again, but they burned so bad. I could feel myself surrounded by people, now. I finally opened my eyes in time to see Severus shove James onto he ground. He knelt beside me as James spat out mud. He put a hand on my face. It was cold, but somehow it was gentler than James's. His breath was frenzied in my ear. His hands were shaking as he ran his fingers across my face, sweeping my hair out of my eyes. James sat up.

"What was that for, Snivellus?" He growled.

"You nearly killed her, Potter! Go away!" Sev sounded on the verge of tears.

"I didn't mean to, half-wit! I thought she'd pull up! She always did before!"

"She didn't see a Snitch, idiot! She was looking for it and didn't see you pull out!"

"Why don't you go rub more grease in you hair!"

"Why don't you go tangle yours up some more?"

"Slink away, Snivelly!"

"Piss off, Potter!"

"STOP!" I don't even know where I got the strength to shout, but it did the trick. Both boys stopped fighting. James sank into the crowd as the teachers moved in. Slughorn was huffing and puffing.

"Everyone, move back, she needs air!" He bent down to look at me. "Miss Fawkes, are you alright? Is anything broken?" He seemed very worried. I just grinned, but I don't think he was convinced. He pulled Severus roughly away by the back of his robes. "Move along, Severus, she'll be fine." He didn't sound very sure, though. Reluctantly, Sev turned away, but not before throwing me a solicitous look over his shoulder.


It was easy to get over the loss, especially since they had to call off the match. James refused to catch the Snitch while I was incapacitated. I spent the night in the hospital wing with a broken arm, listening to Madame Pomfrey rant on and on about safety and poor choice of hobby. The next morning I walked down to breakfast early, before anyone else, ate, and walked out onto the grounds just as a gaggle of Hufflepuff girls came in to the Great Hall. They looked at me with a look I couldn't, and still can't, describe accurately. It was almost one of pity or sympathy, yet awe and respect at the same time. Sort of how you'd feel seeing a war Veteran with no legs. You pity his loss and his sacrifice, but you look up to him like a hero.

Anyway, I slinked out of the castle and walked down to the lake. The sun hadn't quite risen yet, but the sky was a dull slate color and the horizon was white-yellow. I peered at the Forbidden Forest, a black silhouette against the lightening sky. It looked more frightening than it did at midday. I walked along the lakeshore until I reached the pier. I sat on the edge and removed my shoes and socks, which were covered in mud from yesterday.

I dangled my feet in the water and watched my reflection. As the Slate turned periwinkle behind (or above) my head, I heard a distant noise. Someone yelled "Ow!" as they tripped. At first, naturally, I looked toward the castle. I heard the same person curse violently and turned toward the forest. There, not thirty feet from me, was someone - a student - slinking out of the forest. Curious, I stood up and moved closer, standing behind a wide oak tree. I could have sworn I'd seen him before. Presently, he was covered in mud and seemed to have blood on his hands and face. His hair was matted and stuck out at odd places. His robes looked like they had been pulled on lazily and were ripped and dirty. There were dark shadows under his vacant eyes and there was a huge bruise on his left cheek. It was a big, dark bruise and was curved, like a crescent moon. His shoes were gone and he was walking as if horribly injured, holding himself like he had a broken rib. Quite frankly, he looked as if he'd just fought a troll single-handedly.

I would have gone to see if he was OK, but I was so shocked, I didn't move. He stumbled toward the castle, wincing at every step. As he approached the castle, I noticed someone waiting for him at the doors, looking around warily. It was Dumbledore, and he had a fine, silvery cloth in his hand, which he threw over the boy when he got to the doors. The boy disappeared behind the cloth, completely invisible. Dumbledore looked around again and led the invisible boy hurriedly into the castle.

It was honestly one of the strangest events I'd ever witnessed. I sat by the lake for a couple hours, mulling it over. Eventually the bell rang and I slipped my shoes on and trudged off to class. I was late, because I was nearly there when I realized I hadn't gotten redressed. I ran back to the common room, got dressed, retrieved my bag (with the wrong books in it) and got to class about twenty minutes after it had started.

Professor Flitwick turned with an annoyed look on his face when I entered loudly, slamming the door and gasping, but as soon as he realized it was me, he smiled. "Ah, Miss Fawkes! Doing well, I hope, please - have a seat! We were just beginning Chapter Eight: Emotion Charms!"

I sat down, slightly embarrassed, and proceeded to tune in and out as Flitwick went over charms that made you laugh and spells that calmed you down. Finally, class was over, and I swept from the room as fast as I could, before anyone could console me. I didn't need everyone treating me like a child! Just 'cause I was in a few accidents doesn't mean I can't take care of myself!

"Sylistia!" A solicitous voice rang out behind me as I turned toward the dungeons. I was taking the long way to Potions. Knowing Slughorn, I'd be smothered in good wishes as soon as I got there. I spun around, expecting to see Severus, but it was James catching up to me, breathless. He was alone. "H-hey, Sylistia. I-I wanted to say I'm sorry. Y'know, for getting you hurt. I was… an absolute git." He grinned apologetically.

"I notice your little friends aren't with you, Potter," I said, brushing him off. For a moment, he looked confused, then he spoke up again.

"I didn't want them to… I wanted to talk to you… alone."

I pondered that for a moment, then turned away and continued to Potions. "Good day, Potter."

"Wait!" I stopped, but didn't turn around.

"What do you want, Potter?" I sighed exasperatedly.

"Will you… er… I mean… that is… um…"

"Spit it out, Potter!" I spun around angrily. This idiot was wasting my time.

"Will you go out with me?" He said quickly, straightening up. He bit his lip nervously. I hated to be rude, but there was no way I could go out with that- that git! But I also couldn't say no. So I improvised. I bought time.

"Er… I don't know yet." And I hurried off to Potions as fast as I could. I hated to leave him hanging, but I couldn't bring myself to answer him.


I sat down in the back, next to Severus. He smiled at me, and seemed about to say something, but was cut short by Slughorn, starting the lesson. We didn't make potions, we took notes. I was writing down a paragraph about Felix Felicis, the good luck potion, when something touched my arm. I looked over. Severus was engulfed in his work, but a piece of folded paper lay on my desk by my elbow.

Watching the teacher carefully, I unfolded it. In his feminine handwriting, Severus had written:

What did he want?

I looked over to Severus, who was putting all his focus into ignoring me. Confused, I wrote back:

Huh? Who?

I glanced at Slughorn, then jammed the note under Severus's arm, making him scratch a huge line across his writing. He opened the note, then scrawled a reply and tossed it back. I read:

Potter. Duh. I saw him follow you.

I wrote back:

Oh. Nothing. He was apologizing for making me crash. Git.

Severus glanced at me with a look that said, "yeah, right." I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I ignored him, concentrating on my work. Finally, class ended. I waited for Severus, who joined me, along with Lily Evans. "Hey, Lily." I smiled.

"Hey, Syl. How are you?" She glanced at me, as if to see if I was well.

"Fine. Just a bit sore. You?"

"Alright. Bit tired, though. Amelia Bones kept me up all night talking about Sirius Black. He's not that great, though." She snorted. "In fact, I heard he's… you know."

"No, what?" I looked up at her. Sev rolled his eyes.

"Y'know… He's… not the 'girl type'." She raised her eyebrows suggestively. I was still blank.

"Homosexual, Syl." Severus clarified.

"Oh, Oh!" I exclaimed, finally comprehending. "I'd no idea! That's why he has such nice hair!" Lily laughed.

"I know, seriously!" We giggled about it all the way to lunch, Sev rolling his eyes all the while. Lily sat at the Slytherin table again. The Slytherins seemed to be adjusting to her. No longer did they glare and whisper. Some of them even greeted her like one of their own.

I was about halfway done with my sandwich when I heard something whiz towards us. I turned to see a bowl of tomato soup, minus the bowl, hit Severus in the back of his head, covering him in the thick, pinkish liquid. Livid, he jumped up and spun around, tugging his wand out of his book bag.

"Ah, don't be mad, Snivellus!" Black said, holding a wand in one hand and an empty bowl in the other. "It's just to help with the smell!" Potter and Pettigrew joined in his laughter, while Remus Lupin merely shook his head and sipped his pumpkin juice. I noticed the bruise on his face and realized he was the one I'd seen in the forest that morning. My thoughts were interrupted, however, when Lily picked up a tuna salad sandwich and hurled it at Black. The whitish, smelly slop covered his head and shoulders, and the Slytherin table erupted in hyena-like laughter, starting up a chant of "Evans, Evans, Evans!"

Encouraged, Lily picked up a handful of mashed potato and grinned at Black, who looked at her, shocked and angry. "You traitor, Evans! We're your house!" He picked up an egg salad sandwich and chucked it at her. It missed, hitting Alecto Carrow, who jumped up onto the table, red with anger, and threw a bowl of soup at Black. Of course it hit Pettigrew, who flung a P,B,&J at her, which was deflected by Amycus Carrow's Shield charm. Lily pitched her handful of potatoes at Potter, who threw a salami sandwich at her, which hit Lucius Malfoy, who stood up on the table, levitated a bowl of peas, and finally shouted the magic words.

"FOOD FIGHT!!" The peas flew like bullets toward the Gryffindor table, sending first years dashing under the table to hide. Severus threw a handful of spaghetti-and-meatballs, which missed Potter, his intended target, and hit Lupin, who cried out and hid behind Black, who had an armful of biscuits he was shooting at Slytherins.

Heeding the words, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw joined in with war cries, pitching food at everyone. Mostly, it was Slytherin versus the other three, but some joined in against Gryffindor. The Great Hall was a battlefield of flying rolls, gravy, sandwiches, and creamed corn. Like a phalanx, houses began to converge in hand-to-hand combat. Lupin, finally accepting the inevitable fact that he wouldn't get out of the Hall without a fight, dumped a pitcher of pumpkin juice over Severus's head, who gasped, whirled around, and overturned a bowl of spaghetti sauce over Lupin. The two completely disregarded the food-fighting and jumped on each other, tumbling to the floor in a knot of arms and legs, rolling around under others, who tripped over the grappling boys.

No one could really say how it happened, but somehow, one sandwich found it's its way to the Head Table, landing perfectly on Dumbledore's pointy hat. Although there wasn't much noise or movement about it, it instigated an immediate hush over the room. Most of the teachers had already left the table and run into the battle, trying hopelessly to stop it. Now, finally, slowly, Dumbledore stood up, ignoring the tomato glued to his head with mayonnaise. He cleared his throat, and everyone drew back warily, gasping. One first year in Hufflepuff burst into tears, dropping his ladleful of chicken-noodle soup and rubbing applesauce out of his hair.

Dumbledore peeled a slice of mayonnaise-coated bologna off of his robes and flung it away indifferently. The pink circle hit Professor McGonagall's shoulder. At first, she seemed shocked, then angry - glaring at the students. Then she looked at Dumbledore, and a smile cracked over her face. She chuckled quietly. Dumbledore chuckled back, shrugging. The entire room burst into laughter as Dumbledore grinned broadly and waved his wand over the Hall. Instantly, the mess was gone. Students began filing out of the room to go to class.

In the entrance hall, Severus caught up to Lily and me, grinning. His lip was bloodied and he had a huge shiner on his eye, but he triumphantly held up his fist, which clutched a handful of brown hair. "I got that ass! He hits hard, but he cries like a baby when you rip out his hair!" I turned toward the Hall entrance. Lupin approached Potter, rubbing his head gingerly and grimacing in pain. James pointed at him and burst out laughing, clutching his sides as tears ran down his face.

"Ah, shove it, Potter!" Lupin elbowed James aside and marched off angrily down the hall. Potter jogged after him, Black and Pettigrew in tow. I snickered and turned back to Sev and Lily, Who stifled their laughter until we reached the stairs. Then we exploded with loud hoots and cackles as we made our way to Transfigurations.


I parted with Lily and Sev after Transfigurations and went to Ancient Runes. I sat down in my seat, which was assigned in this class, at the back. I pulled out my text book, and when I sat up, I noticed Lupin sat next to me. I'd never noticed him before, but he was hard to miss with that bruise and the tuft of hair sticking out on one side of his head. He looked sullen and angry as he flipped violently through his book, ripping a page out in the process. Livid, he balled it up and lobbed it at the ceiling, fury twisting his face. The ball hit the ceiling and fell back down, bouncing off Lupin's head. He slouched in his seat and massaged his scalp, which was probably raw.

I felt for him. Poor guy. He never started anything; he was just having a very bad day. I reached down and scooped up the paper wad from where it had rolled to the other side of my desk. I flattened it out and wordlessly slipped Lupin's book off his desk. He glanced at me inquisitively, but did nothing. I laid the book flat and held the page in place. I ran my wand along the middle if the book and muttered, "Reparo." The page sealed back into the book seamlessly. I handed it back to Lupin, who nodded appreciatively, but didn't speak.

"I'm sorry." I looked away.

"Er… for what?" Lupin queried, looking at me. "I don't even know you."

"Severus is my friend." Answering his curious expression, I added, "The one who pulled your hair at lunch." He gave me a look of dawning comprehension.

"Oh. Him. 'Snivellus'?"

"That's not his name, git!" I snapped. He started.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know! That's what James and Sirius call him, so I just assumed…"

"It's OK." I sighed. "His name is Severus Snape, and your friends are callous miscreants through and through."

"Yeah, they can be pretty awful sometimes." He sighed heavily. He brushed his hair down with his fingers, but it wouldn't stay flat. He exhaled irritably.

"How'd that happen?" I asked, pointing at his face.

"I, er… fell down." Yeah, right. I refrained from asking further. If he wanted me to know he'd tell me. I thought about it for a while. Even as I tried to sleep that night, it haunted me, floating in the back of my brain. I fell asleep wondering what made a bruise that shape.