Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series or A Very Potter Musical, these belong to J.K. Rowling and Team Starkid respectively. I'm just borrowing their creations for a little while for my own enjoyment. :)

A/N: Okay, back by popular demand... MALFOY! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, I still can't believe I've gotten twenty-two for one chapter. The reviews for six chapters of this story has surpassed the amount for sixteen chapters of my other one- unbelievable. :) Anyways, hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 7


Without warning, there was a loud pop like a cork being shot from a bottle of champagne and there was once again a tall blonde Ex-Death Eater in their midst.

The man resumed his previous chair and did not even spare them as much as a glance. He tapped his foot lightly against the beige carpet and appeared to be just patiently waiting for the movie to begin.

Ron stared openly at the man's audacity. "Er…Malfoy? Can we help you with something?"

"Yeah, I thought you didn't want to watch anymore." stated Harry.

"If you must know, I thought that if I am going to sue this Starkid Potter group for slander that I should have further evidence backing it up. To get that I will, regrettably, be forced to watch the rest of this wretched film."

"Are you sure that's why Malfoy? Are you sure you don't just want to watch the movie?"

"Yes, I know that's why Potter." spat Malfoy "Now hurry up and start this pile of filth so I can work on getting money in court."

Dudley wandered back in the room clutching a fairly large bowl of ice-cream as if it was his life-line. He noticed the return of the angry man and hugged the bowl tighter and asked, "When did he come back?"

"Less than a minute ago, now can we please just start up this thing?" Malfoy pleaded.

Afraid to hear even a second more of Malfoy's whining, Ron leaned forward and imitated the movements he had seen James make to start up the musical.

QUIRRELL: "Master, master! The shipments for the First Task of the tournament have arrived!"

Malfoy spoke up immediately, "Is that, that stuttering fool Quirrell from first year?"

VOLDEMORT: "I know Quirrell, I hear everything that you hear."

"Where is that voice coming from…?" mused Malfoy. Everyone just watched him amused, even Dudley, who was eager to see someone else look like an idiot, not that he was one, at the reveal of the face on the back of Quirrell's head.

However, they were disappointed; when the turban came off Malfoy merely raised his eyebrows and stated, "Well, that's something you don't see everyday…" He noticed the room staring him down in surprise and he asked, "What? I spent a year in captivity with the Dark Lord, this definitely isn't the strangest thing I've seen."

QUIRRELL: "Isn't it wonderful master? We made sure that Harry Potter's name was drawn from the cup and soon he will be ours."

VOLDEMORT: "Yes…It's really happening isn't it Quirrell? You know…with the plan going so well maybe we should celebrate. What do you say Quirrell, how about we's go out? I hear it's karaoke night down at the Hog's Head."

Harry and Ron broke into laughter and Ron cried gaspingly, "Can you imagine Voldy singing?" Just about everyone else joined them then, except Dudley who did not really understand, after all the Voldemort he had been watching loved to sing, and Malfoy was determined not to laugh at such plebian thoughts, though his mouth was twitching.

QUIRRELL: "I don't know…I have all these papers to grade and I've been giving so much attention to this revenge plan that I'm really behind."

VOLDEMORT: "Come on Quirrell, you've been working so hard all year…you deserve a night off!"

QUIRRELL: "But the papers…"

VOLDEMORT: "Oh just give them all B minuses and be done with it!"

Hermione gasped in horror at such a statement. How was anyone to know if they were learning correctly if he just stamped one grade over everyone's papers without even looking at them? Staring in blank horror at the television screen, she missed the many amused looks thrown her way.

QUIRRELL: "Now that's evil."

VOLDEMORT: "Ha, yeah thanks, I am the Dark Lord. Come on…just a few drinks. Hey, we'll try to pick up some chicks!"

QUIRRELL: "I wouldn't know what to say, I'm no good at that!"

VOLDEMORT: "Come on, it'll be fun! You just move your lips and I'll do the talking."

QUIRRELL: "Uh…"

VOLDEMORT: "Quirrell man listen...I may just be a parasite on the back of you head, literally devouring your soul every time I take a breath, but I can see that you're too good a guy to not have a little bit of fun once in a while. You deserve this."

"I do have to agree with him there," voiced Harry "Any guy who spends a year with Lord Voldemort attached to their body deserves a bit more than a round of drinks."

"Well, we'll have to go out afterwards won't we?" Ginny said grinning. After all hadn't her and Harry gone through that same sort of trauma?

QUIRRELL: "Well if you put it that way then yeah let's just go wild tonight!"

VOLDEMORT: "Wahhaha! That's the spirit Quirrell! Put on a fresh pair of wizard shorts and grab your tunic- Quirrell, we are gonna get you laid! Seriously man, back when I had a body- woo- I had mad game with the bitches- just ask Bellatrix Lestrange!"

Ron spoke in a loud clear voice, "If you think that Voldemort did indeed have 'mad game with the bitches', raise your hand!"

Only Malfoy, Harry, and Ginny raised their hands and they appeared uneasy that they shared opinions on something like that.

"Why?" asked Ron disgustedly.

Harry spoke up first, "I saw what Voldemort was like when he was younger, and he was pretty charming."

"Yeah," added Ginny "and he was admittedly quite dishy." It was obvious from how she said it, that there was no attraction to him, it was just a statement of fact.

They all turned to Malfoy who grudgingly answered, "For their reasons and I've heard stories…" he shuddered as though reliving a Bellatrix Lestrange kiss-and-tell moment.

RON: "Whoa, uh this cloak isn't as big as it used to be…"

"I remember when we outgrew it…" Ron sighed, "Twas a sad day…" The other two members of the trio nodded in unison.

HERMIONE: "Shh! Someone's coming!"

MALFOY: "Did you just hear something?"

Malfoy grimaced at the return of his character.

GOYLE: "No, only quiet. Maybe…one raindrop…"

MALFOY: "No matter…tell me Goyle, who do you think is the ugliest girl in school?"

GOYLE: "Uh…Oh, Buckbeak for sure."

"Buckbeak's a guy." Harry stated, then seeing Malfoy turn to him suspiciously he amended, "Was a guy. Yeah, he's been dead since third year though so it doesn't really matter…" he turned back to the screen and tried to ignore the calculating look on Malfoy's face.

MALFOY: "Crabbe?"

CRABBE: "Uh…Winky the house-elf!"

"Who's that?" asked Malfoy, distracted from the Buckbeak talk.

Harry, who was happy to see him off the subject of Buckbeak answered quickly, "Oh, that was Dobby's girlfriend."

"Dobby…?" Malfoy muttered confusedly, "Why do I know that name…"

Ron spoke up smugly, "He was your old house-elf, Harry tricked your father into freeing him and he worked at Hogwarts up until seventh year." Ron grew sad then and faced his wife and best friend with an apologetic grimace. Hermione hugged him closer and Harry patted him on the back. Dobby would always be missed.

MALFOY: "Good one. Obscure! You know who I think is the ugliest girl in school? That Hermione Granger…you know what I would give her on a scale of one to ten, one- one would be the ugliest and ten would be pretty, I would give her…an eight."

Malfoy saw where this was going and snarled. No way would he ever be in love with that mudblood Granger!

"Wow Malfoy, I'm flattered." Hermione said smirking.

"An eight point five! Or a nine…Not, not over a nine point eight because there is always room for improvement. Not everyone's perfect, like me. That's why I am holding out for a ten- because I'm worth it. Come on, let's go!"

Everyone, but Malfoy, burst out laughing at this statement and Ron crowed, "You are so not worth it!"

"Tell that to my wife." he sneered back. Malfoy's wife, Astoria Malfoy, was very beautiful and had obviously thought the Malfoy heir was worth it.

HARRY: "Wow, what a bunch of jerks!"

HERMIONE: "Alright, forget them- now where did you say you saw those crates being delivered?"

RON: "Well, I think they were being delivered to the auditorium so they should be at the end of this hallway and to the left. Look!"

HERMIONE: "A goat?"

HARRY: "A goat! God, I have to fight a goat? I don't know if I could do that morally."

Ron nodded approvingly, "And that's what sets you apart from Aberforth, Harry."

"You know, I'm not quite sure that's what he did to the goats…" Ginny whispered to Hermione grinning. They both broke out in giggles, ignoring their husband's questioning looks.

SNAPE: "And the goats have all been set for feeding time, Headmaster."

"This, is supposed to be my head of house? Give me a break…" scoffed Malfoy. All of the Gryffindors were spot on, why were all the Slytherins made out to be idiots?

DUMBLEDORE: "Feeding time? Dragons don't wanna be fed, they wanna hunt!"

HARRY: "Did he just say dragons?"

SNAPE: "Did you just say, 'did he just say dragons?'"

DUMBLEDORE: "I must have because anybody else hiding in this room would have known to have shut up Potter!"

The trio laughed, remembering all the times they had been invisible spying on the adults and it had always seemed as though Dumbledore knew they were there.

SNAPE: "Headmaster, do you really think it's wise to have children fight dragons?"

DUMBLEDORE: "No, Snape! I don't think it's wise to do anything anymore, like here I am alive and well today and I could very well be killed by you tomorrow…"

SNAPE: "Why, that's absurd!"

Malfoy burst out laughing at this managing to say, "You know, maybe this musical-thing isn't too bad…"

The trio and Ginny glared at Malfoy and James muttered to Albus, "You're namesakes just keep getting stranger..."

DUMBLEDORE: "Severus let's go to bed, have you ever seen my room? I have some pretty kickin' posters on my wall…"

SNAPE: "Well, I am rather tired…"

HARRY: "Oh man, I have to fight a dragon? This is bogus! How can I fight a dragon, I'm just a little kid!"

"Really, how old am I supposed to be in this musical?" objected Harry. He had hated being called a little boy when he had actually fought the dragon, so how old was he in this scene?

"Aw, Harry it doesn't really matter, you were a little kid for a long time so this could actually be fourth year." Hermione teased. Ron, Malfoy, and Dudley laughed while James and Albus looked miserable; these were the genes that they stood to inherit.

Harry gave her one of his patented death glares "Not feeling so tall anymore are you?"

"Yeah well I'm a girl, it's different." she said smiling smugly.

Harry just huffed, "That's just sexist..."

RON: "Alright, well maybe it won't be that bad Harry, maybe you'll just have to fight like Mushu from Mulan, or I don't know maybe you'll- maybe you'll have like Puff the Magic Dragon or something…"

Hermione and Dudley laughed at the reference to the cartoon dragons.

"What are those?" Malfoy pondered aloud and everyone else either nodded or continued wearing baffled expressions.

Dudley paused the video and brought up a new tab where he google image searched both dragons. Now the rest laughed and Harry said "Man, I wish that one of those had been my dragon!"

Lily squealed "I want one like Mushu!"

HERMIONE: "Ron, this is serious okay- Harry could die! Now look, there's still time, we just need to figure out a plan…"

HARRY: "Okay well, we should probably do that back in the common room…w-wait where's the invisibility cloak?"

RON: "Well, I threw it over on that magical walking chair over there- oh…"

HARRY: "Oh, that's- that's gonna be an issue…"

"Nice. Losing an invisibility cloak- do you even realize how valuable those are?" sneered Malfoy.

"Actually I think I know much better than you, the value of that cloak." said Harry calmly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" the blonde shot back.

"Oh, nothing…" Harry gave a placid smile and buffed his nails on his shirt just as Malfoy had done earlier. There were plenty of things that Malfoy could buy with all of his money, but he still couldn't get his hands on the legendary Peverell Cloak of Invisibility.

Seeing this was going nowhere, Hermione reached across Ron and clicked the link for the next part in the series.


A/N: Well, that's the chapter...Now I better go clean my room before my mom realizes I haven't and chops me up into little pieces and feeds me to the pooches. Let me know what you think! :)