This one has some major changes in in the path of the second season. In the previous two chapters I worked to bring this story into the second season with as little change as possible to make it as seamless as possible, though there were some revisions, such as Booth never getting involved with Cam again. This chapter, the next to last one for the story, makes some changes as well, such as the reason for Booth's meltdown and shooting of the clown. We also see the character of Sully, though in commentary as opposed to a full on character in the story. This one has some serious moments, as well as a startling move forward by Bones at the end. I hope you all enjoy this one. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Bones was worried. Deeply worried. Booth had shot the head of a clown on an ice cream truck! The last few weeks Booth had been increasingly on edge, and no matter what they did, he just wouldn't break free of whatever was bothering him. Even their sexual encounters had become much more frenzied and less intimate, she felt was the right word. Now he was on a leave in order to see a psychologist to deal with whatever problems were causing him to act so out of character.
That wasn't the only issue that needed to be confronted. Agent Tim Sullivan, or Sully as he liked to be called, was now her temporary partner. She'd met him on a case in Florida recently, and he had been called in to work cases with her while Booth was undergoing the evaluation. Sully was a good agent, and easy to work with, but he wasn't Booth. No one was Booth, in her opinion. But Booth seemed to be avoiding her to a degree now that he had to deal with his issues. Sully was nice, handsome, and someone she enjoyed talking with in a casual manner. That was all fine and good, but just this day he had asked her out to dinner. She was certainly no novice when it came to men, and she knew damn well that he was asking her out on a date.
A date. She hadn't been on one since well before she and Booth had began their Friends With Benefits arrangement almost eight months before. She could be rational and admit that all the non-sex related time they spent together could qualify as dating, and given where she now knew her feelings lay, she was not upset over that. There had been a recent scare when Cam had been poisoned, and it turned out that the poison had been not been meant for Cam, but her. Booth had been horribly upset over it all. She could pinpoint his growing agitation to that event, and it now made all the sense in the world. She needed to really push Booth, though, and she was concerned that doing the right thing, may have negative consequences for them personally. It had to be done, though. After politely turning down Sully's dinner invitation, she made her way over to Booth's apartment. There was no time like the present for this confrontation. She hated using Sully indirectly like this, but she had no choice.
She stood outside Booth's apartment staring at the door. The idea of forcing this issue was somewhat ironic since it had always been her that had shied away from any emotional entanglements, but if Booth wasn't so off kilter, and it wasn't for the fact that he was wanting more from their relationship, but scared after what happened to Cam (she was inwardly pleased that she had come up with a sound hypothesis as to what was going on with him), this whole confrontation wouldn't be necessary. She also knew that she would have to be extremely harsh and, to put it bluntly, cruel, in this confrontation if she was right about what was going on with Booth. She took a deep breath and knocked loudly on the door. The door opened and she saw a startled Booth, looking tired and, she had to tamp down her feelings of arousal, sweat soaked.
"Bones?" he asked. He'd just gotten home ten minutes before after having spent the day working on Gordon Gordon's little projects. Every muscle in his body ached, which had caused him to make a note to get back to hitting the gym more often. A former Army Ranger like him shouldn't be so soft as to be wore out with a little construction.
"Can I come in?" she asked. "We need to talk, Booth."
Booth sighed. "Yeah," he told her as he moved to the side to let her in. He'd known that she would come and want to talk to him sooner or later. She was a genius after all, and she had become very adept at reading him these last eight months since their "arrangement" had began. He noticed that she didn't take a seat.
"I was asked out on a date," she told him bluntly. She carefully watched his face for any reaction, and she saw it. It was hardly noticeable, but it was there. She mentally sighed in relief. He didn't want her dating, which meant he wanted their special relationship to continue, but she wanted more from it now, and she had to press to get him out of his emotional retreat.
"Who?" Booth asked. He was not surprised. Bones had to have guys asking her out all the time, but he knew she refused as she wanted to keep with him.
"Sully," she told him. The quick flash of anger in his eyes was very telling, though it was gone almost as quickly as it was there.
"Are you going out with him?" he asked.
Bones wanted to scream. It had been a polite way of asking if she wanted to end the arrangement with him. It looked like she would have to go through with her plan and really push this.
"That's up to you," she told him bluntly.
"Oh?" he asked. He was so far into his own fears that he was not really thinking of the reality of what had been happening the last few months.
"Yes, you," she said firmly. "When we began to sleep together to deal with our urges you asked for, and I agreed to an exclusive arrangement. I agreed, and I have been very happy with that aspect. Until now. You've created a shell around yourself that is very much like the one I had when we first met."
"I just have some things to deal with, Bones," he told her.
She could at least see that it was an honest reply, though it didn't tell her anything. She decided to shock the Hell out of him and see if he reacted. "Then I may as well go out with Sully," she said, turning her back on him. "You obviously don't give a damn about me anymore, and if that's the case, then I guess I need to turn to a guy who wants to be with me." She turned to him, seeing the clear pain the words caused. She decided to ramp it up a bit. "I thought you were different, Booth. I thought you were in this for something other than getting laid regularly." That got the reaction she was hoping for. Like most of their conversations, volumes were spoken in short amounts of time, letting any observers thinking that a Hell of a lot was missing in any confrontation.
"I am in it for more than that!" Booth shouted, displaying the first real emotional reaction to anything that she'd seen in quite some time.
She stepped forward and thrust a finger in his chest, pushing it hard against his pectorals. "Then why are you willing to end it all and watch while I go out and fuck someone else?" she demanded. "Is that what you really want, Booth? Knowing that I'm with some other guy letting him fuck me? Knowing I'm doing all the things to him that you love me doing to you?"
"It's what you want to do, isn't it?" he blurted out, his anger at her outburst ridding him of any common sense. The slap across his face, and her absolute rage that was showing on her face told him he'd seriously fucked up. The clenched fist at her side also let him know that she was not finished.
"You Bastard!" she let loose in as loud a voice as he'd ever heard her use. "If I wanted to fuck some other guy do you think I'd be here trying to find out what's wrong? Do you think I would have spent the last eight months being exclusive with you and really learning that it's possible to feel like I'm good enough for someone who isn't just after a piece of ass for a night? Do you really think that little of me?" she demanded, hurt at what he'd implied, whether he meant it or not. She also realized that she had finally figured out what she had been slowly approaching in her mind these last few months. She wanted more from this than a regular fuck buddy. She couldn't say she loved him, at least not yet, but she knew that's what she was feeling.
"No," he said quietly. He didn't dare say anything in a way that could be interpreted as a slight or in any way derogatory.
"Then what the hell is going on?" she asked, calming a bit. She'd known that this would probably involve some shouting, and some hurtful comments by both of them, though she hadn't planned on having, or wanting, to slap him. She saw him turn to face another direction. "Talk to me, Booth," she said firmly, but with some compassion.
"I'm scared," he admitted, hating doing so. He may try and be fair and treat everyone with the utmost respect on equal terms, but he couldn't get away from the socially ingrained gender identity patterns. He was a man, and men generally hated admitting fear. Bones could probably explain it to him in terms that were way over his head, but for him it all boiled down to the fact that he was an Alpha Male and this felt emasculating somehow.
"Scared of what?" she asked. Now they were getting somewhere. She was sure that he was about to admit what she had suspected all along.
"Of something happening to you because someone was trying to get at me," he told her. He didn't turn back to her, so he wasn't surprised when she walked around him so she was facing him.
"Booth," she said softly. "It won't matter if we're in a relationship of sorts, or just friends. Both of us are at equal risk just by being partners doing the work we do. Does it scare me that you may be hurt one day? Yes it does. I've always avoided entangling relationships because I don't want to go through the emotional upheaval of being left. I have a string of casual lovers in my past to show for that fear. But if one of us is hurt, or possibly killed because of our jobs, I've learned that that isn't being left. It's a part of life. You taught me that, Booth. My question for you, is do you want for us to move forward with US, or end it all and just go back to being friends. I want an us, Booth, but the choice is yours."
"I want that, too, Bones," he said after being silent for a long while after she finished.
"Then I guess we have a lot more talking to do," she replied, very relieved that he hadn't completely given up on them. She stepped forward and pulled his head down, giving him a kiss. It wasn't hurried or demanding, just a long, sensual kiss that showed some of the emotional investment she was making in them. She pulled back finally before it got beyond that point. "But not tonight," she told him.
"Huh?" he asked, confused, but also aroused.
"We don't move forward until you have gotten this problem resolved with your therapist," she told him. She pressed a hand on his heart. "I know what's in here," she informed him, then she moved her hand to press a finger against his forehead. "But I'm not sure about up here. When you have that cleared up, I'll be waiting."
"So no nothing until then?" he asked. He had to admit she made a lot of sense, but he was still operating in Friends With Benefits mode and in that realm Bones was a vivacious, outgoing sex goddess who was ready at any time.
Bones gave him a smirk. "No sex until then," she told him. She wanted him. Needed him actually, but she didn't want an encounter under the old rules to mar what they'd achieved tonight. It would also give her a chance to really make some changes in how she approached the issue of sex with him. Her likes and dislikes would be the same, naturally, and the fun and games would be there, but there would also be an added dimension, a sensual, loving dimension that would be needed to make this work. Those emotions took time to process and feel natural about. She wanted their next sexual encounter to have that component. It scared her, to be honest, but it also excited her just like the idea of a frenzied, passionate role playing encounter did. "But that doesn't mean we won't have time together. I want to be taken on a real date, and I want evenings in where we can talk, or watch a movie, or simply enjoy working on paperwork with all the joking and banter we've always had," she assured him.
Bones also realized that she had changed significantly in the previous eight months. She was a different person when it came to the idea of love and relationships. Part of what had made her hesitate for a moment before asking Booth to begin this Friends With Benefits arrangement was that deep inside of her mind she knew that it would likely progress to this. It had scared the Hell out of her, but she had taken a chance on it because this was Booth. She was glad she had. Not only was she now at a point where she could understand the idea of love and want a loving relationship, she had found in Booth a passionate lover who was also extremely solicitous of her wants and desires. He was certainly not the prude she had pegged him for before this had all began.
"So what do you want to do now?" he asked. He really didn't want her to go right then. He had created this tension and distance between them, but he'd missed her a lot.
"Let's order dinner, and then we can eat while I discuss the case Sully and I are working on right now," she suggested.
At the mention of Sully's name he mentally cringed, but he had to be fair. Sully was a good guy and had asked her on a date, which a Hell of a lot of guys would do if given the chance. He was just glad she wanted to invest herself in this thing that they had been developing for the last eight months. He rubbed his jaw where she'd slapped him. Now if only he could get her to use that sharp wit of hers instead of her powerful right, whether closed or open hand, when she got pissed at him he'd be in great shape.
"Oh and Booth?" she said as she poked her head around the door frame of the bathroom where she was washing up.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"Pull a stunt like this again and I'll really kick your ass," she told him with a smile that was half amused and half serious. She ducked back into the bathroom, closing the door.
Yeah. Definitely needed to work on safer punishments for being an ass. He chuckled, though, as he thought about the results of this particular conversation. Nah. He'd prefer her as she is. She was Bones, after all.
A/N: I know this seemed to be a quick conversation, but I've always been intrigued at how the shows writers developed the rather silent, non-verbal communication between the characters, so I feel that such a serious conversation would have a lot of impact, while being short. I hope you all enjoyed this one. One more chapter left, and it should be ready in a few days. Happy New Year! Gregg.
