I apologize for my long disappearance. The plot bunnies finally came back (for now) when I enticed them in with cookies. They seem to like them. That and a) my life seems to have become a whirlwind lately, b) my computer gave me repetitive BLUE SCREENS OF DEATH (go die, Bill Gates) until I figured out the problem, and c) I need more sleep.

Obligatory disclaimer:

Phil: *laugh* Then, I asked-

Ahem.

Phil: Ah, sorry. Anyway, the Writer from the Black Lagoon doesn't own Team Fortress 2 or affiliated characters.

Thanks. You were saying?

Phil: So-Hey, you were spying on me?

Spy: Ahem?

Phil: Oh, give up. You enjoy spying; it's your job.

Hey, it's an upside to being an authoress. Do continue.

Phil: *sigh* Well...It was a Tuesday...


"Solly…Phil said I oughta tell ya at some point 'bout mah life…'fore Ah came t' th' Fort." Soldier and Engineer had wandered back inside and were sitting on a bench with a beer each.

"If you don't want to, you don't have to, Engineer."

"Thank ya, Solly, but Ah want t' tell ya." He then proceeded to relate the story of why he decided to work with RED to begin with.

"Engie…" Soldier growled. Engineer jumped-him too? "WHY DIDN'T YOU INFORM ME OF THIS MAGGOT?"

"Ah didn't want ta remember…" Engie looked away.

Soldier suddenly felt bad…but how was a manly American supposed to say sorry? "Sor-Sorry, Engie." He forced the word out with some difficulty. "I shouldn't 've made you remember." He mumbled. Engineer stared unashamedly. Soldier, apologizing? What in tarnation…

"But, well, I can kinda relate," Soldier said. "My dad hit me on the head with a stick when I do-did things wrong. My brother's in an insane asylum. It's surprising I'm not in one, but I went for the army. So they didn't care." He rubbed his arm awkwardly. "My dad…my brother stabbed him one night with a kitchen knife. He hit me hard enough once that I almost died. He's the reason I'm so…like this." He sighed. "I have the feeling she was right…about us both." In more ways than one, Soldier added within the confines of his own mind.

"No kiddin'. Ah…Ah didn' tell anyone 'cause Ah figured most a' th' people here have problems. Why would they wanta hear mine?" Never mind actually laugh after losin' her dimension... My problems hardly compare.

"Engie?"

"Yeah, Solly?"

"I'm confused about something. When you want to hear someone's voice or their laugh or their silly jokes more than anythin' else…what does that mean?"

No, no…no! "It…it usually means you really miss them, or you love them…" Engineer choked it out.

"So, she was right about something else, too." He smiled a little. "I probably should have known."

"Wha? Solly? What was she right 'bout?... Solly?"

"Engie...Argh!" Without warning Soldier stood up and punched the brick wall that was located directly behind them. Cradling his bleeding knuckles, he said, "You. Just, you…you and why all those things are happenin' to me."

Engineer sat there, stunned beyond belief. It was his most amazing dream and worst nightmare all rolled into one day. After a minute of silence, Soldier moved to leave. Something inside of Engineer told him that if he let Soldier leave, it could never be fixed. Before Soldier could so much as move one more step, he grabbed Soldier by the shoulder and spun him around. He looked at Soldier, taking off first Soldier's helmet, then his own and his goggles. They both stared at each other for a moment.

"Thank goodness Ah'm not th' only one who feels that way, Sol-"

"My name's Jane Doe." He interrupted, making a face. "Strange name, but it's mine."

"'Kay, then…Jane. Ah'm Dell. Dell Conagher."

"Huh. Dell."

Soldier suddenly broke into a smile and hugged Engineer, who stood there in shock. He squinted, patted Soldier's head, and smiled. He thought it had been a Spy for a moment, Soldier was acting so out of character. He hugged Soldier back.

From the window, Philippe smiled and closed the curtain, turning around and humming. She really didn't want to stick around for much longer. That, and she should start making dinner.

When she heard a record playing from the lounge, she started singing along with it.

"If ya need me call me, No matter where you are, no matter how far;

Just call my name, I'll be there in a hurry, You don't have to worry, 'cause baby there-

Ain't no mountain high enough, Ain't no valley low enough, Ain't no river wide enough, To keep me from gettin' to you baby…"

She then heard someone starting to sing the guy's part:

"Remember the day, I set you free, I told you you could always count on me darlin';

From that day on, I made a vow, I'd be there when you want me, some way somehow…"

Spy then came out and laughed. "Somezhing to add to your list of accomplishments, cherie. You can do anyzhing, it seems."

"I could say the same for you!" she teased him.

"Well, I am zhe Spy, after all." He tried and failed to appear modest.

She snickered, then said, "Please, don't attempt modesty, it doesn't befit you."

"As you are ma petite chou-fleur, I must obey your wishes." He grinned and bowed with a flourish.

"Really, your little cauliflower?"

"Ah, it could use a little work…" Merde. How does she do it?

"Besides, weren't you dating Scout's mom? The other teams', I mean?"

"Oh, no, zhat ended a long time ago." Under fairly unfavorable circumstances. The thought sobered him for a moment.

"If you say so. What do you want for dinner? Within limits, that is?" Philippe asked, changing the subject. She had noticed his crestfallen expression, but decided not to comment on it for the time being.

"Hmm…Stew. I feel in zhe mood for a good stew."

"Good, I was expecting you to ask me for something ridiculous. Can you hand me over the chicken stock?" she asked him as she tied an apron over her things.

"Why, of course, mademoiselle."

She dignified this with a brief grin, gave a little curtsey, laughed, and continued making dinner.

Spy stared into the distance. Hmm… I wonder…

"Hey, Spy? Stop thinking about your latest romantic conquest and help me steam the carrots!"

He grinned and complied. What else could he do?


Comments and criticism are always appreciated. In case it wasn't obvious, the song was "Ain't no Mountain High Enough" by Martin Gaye and Tammi Terrell.