"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." ~Maya Angelou~
Warning: Comedic violence
A/N: As you recall last time on Just Desserts, Roy's command found out about Roy's condition. Also Olivier Armstrong is down from Briggs to inspect.
Today was the day Roy had been dreading for months. Even before she was drastically altered this day lived in infancy, Brig. Gen. Olivier Armstong's visit. Roy and the woman never got along, well that was an understatement, they couldn't stand each other. Sure, Roy had hit on her occasionally when she was male, but now the thought made her gag. She was putting on the new dress uniform, skirt included, much to her chagrin. She fixed her hair so that the bangs were swept back with a clip to look more formal. She picked up the lipstick tube, maybe she would smear a little on her lips. A honk was heard from outside her house; she peeked out her window to see a military issued car waiting. She grabbed her coat and ran to the car to find Havoc at the wheel instead of Riza. He stepped out of the car and opened the door for her, he never did that before.
"Ma'am." He grinned with cigarette still intact.
"Where's Hawkeye?" Roy said as she looked seminally confused.
A puff of smoke blew out from the blond's lips. "She got stuck with picking up General Armstrong." He closed the door and pulled out of the drive way. "You look nice colonel." He wanted to say more but the blush was already creeping up on his cheeks.
Roy cringed and decided to change the subject. "Did you find a uniform for Fullmetal?" A small smile graced her lips. "Or did you have to get one of the novelty baby ones from the gift shop?" Roy Mustang, male or female, never without a quip.
"I got one for him chief, but, I'm not dressing him. Hopefully he'll show up in it rather than the trademark coat.
The car pulled up to Central's military base, and once again Havoc stepped out a opened the door for Roy.
Two blonde female officers were standing out at the parade ground, setting up the preparations. Olivier Armstrong had an unusual look on her face, that of shock. The younger woman was telling her of a now female Roy Mustang.
"Lieutenant, I never did enjoy fairy tales." Her one visible eyes glared at the other blonde.
"With all do respect ma'am I'm not lying. Colonel Mustang was the victim of a strange alchemic array that's end result was a sex change." She hated telling the general Roy's condition, she knew how the two officers loathed each other. She expected the general to yell at her but, instead she bursted into a fit of laughter.
"This is going to be more fun that I thought it would be. Mustang will never live this down." Olivier continued to laugh while Riza's frown grew.
Maria, Denny, Armstrong, and Hughes were at the parade ground awaiting the inspection. Hughes was quite proud of his company, they cleaned up rather nice. He smiled, he cleaned up pretty nice himself. He wasn't usually so arrogant, but with his dress uniform and hair slicked back he felt like a million bucks. Then his eyes were no longer directed to himself, Mustang and company just entered the area.
"Wow." Hughes mumbled, Roy looked amazing. She was a vision of authoritative beauty. Her rank seemed to gleam brightly in the morning sun, letting everyone know who she was. After their awkward encounter, he was wary of going to see her with the time before the inspection. He could see her arguing with Ed, probably about the uniform that he was dramatically pulling at. While Roy was yelling at Ed, Hughes couldn't help but glance over to Havoc. His eyes seemed to be wandering in the vicinity of Roy's backside. He felt his eyes narrow and his lips form into a frown...was he jealous, of Roy? "Sonovabitch" Yeah Hughes was defiantly jealous. Before he could make his move to punch that cigarette into Havoc's throat General Armstrong entered the grounds.
The troops were all at attention, awaiting for the tough inspection ahead. General Armstrong was brutal and a stickler for regulations, from hair to shoes everything had to be perfect. Their was an urban legend that she once demoted a man for not having his shoes shined with the right color polish. True or not the woman was a force to be reckoned with, she made sure everyone knew it to. She roamed over to Hughes' company and whipped out her clipboard.
"Lt. Colonel Hughes, is your company ready for inspection?" Olivier said only expecting one answer.
"Yes Ma'am, but before we start I have to show you pictures of my daugh..." He was cut of by the blonde woman.
"Continue with that statement and I'll shove that picture up your ass! Now, is your company ready?"
Hughes gulped hard and nodded his head, tucking his picture back into his jacket pocket.
She looked over his company until she got to her brother, she let out a annoyed sigh. "Maj. Armstrong everything seems to be in order, you pass." She tried to get away with that little conversation, but alas it was to good to be true.
"Sister, you know it 's an Armstrong family tradition to pass every single military inspection!" Armstrong's sparkles seemed to glow brighter when mentioning their prestigious family lineage.
"I know, I'm an Armstrong! No need to tell me about our stupid family traditions!" She watched her brother gasp dramatically as she moved onto the next company, Mustang's.
"Well, who is this pretty little brunette officer we've got here." Olivier said in a taunting tone. "Colonel Mustang, last time I saw you you were chasing skirts not wearing them." She said as she laughed at her own joke.
"Ma'am I believe my lieutenant explained what happened. Roy answered
"Yes she did, but secretly I think you always wanted to be a woman. Now you can finally get to the top by sleeping with the brass."
Roy glared at the officer. "Well, isn't that how you got to your position ma'am." Her company gasped as she said the insult and the general's face contorted in anger.
"You little bitch! How dare you say such a thing to a commanding officer!" She paused and a smirk formed on her face. "Oh, I get it, you're having your period, poor thing."
"So are you permanently having your period?" Roy knew she was pushing it, but she wasn't going to stand here and get insulted.
While the two woman were having a stare down Roy's company whispered.
"If we had a mud pit this would be...heaven." Havoc whispered to Breda, Fury, and Falman.
Ed smiled. "Well at least Colonel bas-bitch is doing something right." He said regarding the fight with Olivier. "It's battle of the bitches!" Ed shouted out, a little to loud.
Riza stepped in, holding her boss back. "Ma'am I apologize on my bosses behalf, she's been through a lot lately."
"Fine, this one time I'll let it slide Mustang! But, let your tongue slip up one more time, and the only military work you'll be doing is turning tricks for soldiers behind the base!" With that statement she moved on to the rest of Roy's command while Riza held back a seething Mustang.
It was late and she was tired, tired and angry. Olivier always knew how to get on her nerves. She was looking forward to going home and going to bed. She saw Hughes coming towards her in his peripheral vision. Her checks colored recalling the last time they were together.
"Roy, I need to talk to you."
"What is it Hughes, I'm tired."
He ran a hand through his slicked back hair. "I want to take you out to dinner." His normal goofy expression was gone, this was the real Hughes, the unpredictable, crafty, and suave one that hid behind his goofball facade.
"We can't, your family."
"I know what I'm doing. Roy, this isn't a question, I'll pick you up at six." He paused and looked at the shocked expression on his friends face. "Oh, and tell Havoc if I catch him looking at your ass again..." He paused as started spinning around is knife. "I'll make sure he can only see his own ass." He left with a feral look in his eyes and Roy covered his ass.
A/N: Sorry I think possessive Hughes is so sexy! Next chapter the date. Also Ed and Olivier both need to get lives. Click that button and review, you know you want to!
