9:31 Firstfall 19th

"Where's Merrill?" Hawke said as I came inside.

"She stayed out." I said.

"Danarius! I know you're here!" Fenris shouted, crossing the room. I put my hand over my mouth before I began to laugh. I knew that-. Varric gave me a strange look but I waved him away. The first room was a mess though. There were bags of flour all over the place, cracked barrels and vases, boxes of product everywhere, and many overturned benches. We opened the first door.

"Wait." I said, putting my arm in front of Fenris. There were traps right in front of us.

"Nice eye Knives." Varric said, looking at the trap before us. He grabbed a piece of broken glass and threw it on top of the trap, making it explode.

As soon as we crossed into the room, eight shades came out of nowhere in front of us.

"Jesus frigging Christ!"

"Andraste take you!"

Jarvis grabbed onto an arm and pulled the shade down. I stabbed at the one closest to me before being grabbed and tossed into the next group. I felt a moment of panic before Fenris' cleaved through the four that held me like no joke. The glowing faded and Varric, Hawke, and Jarvis ganged up on one to kill it. Two more were left and I stabbed into one's back. It shrieked in pain before I grabbed onto its cowl and punched at its head. It melted and only torn cloths of what it was left on the ground. The last one got in a few arrows before doing the same

"I hate demons!" I growled. Especially ones that get the jump on me.

"Your face is getting red." Hawke snickered.

"No it's not!"

"That is a nice shade!" Hawke laughed.

"Shush!" I said. Jarvis barked around me. I rubbed my face, not liking how the heat was rising to my cheeks. Four more came out of nowhere and I sucker punched one. I kicked the other one to the ground before stomping on it several times. I saw Hawke pushed the other two to the ground before Fenris cleaved through them. He gave Hawke a glance.

"It seems that Danarius thinks his pets can stop us. Danarius! Your pets have been defeated." I had to stop myself from laughing again. At least my blush went away. Curse my cheeks. The whole hallway was a mess and cobwebs are all around the corners. We came into the main foyer where more shades came up. Six of them.

"Don't go into the center! It's lined with traps!" I shouted, punching one out of my way.

"Then let us use them!" Fenris said, pushing two and triggering a trap. The floor burst with a flume of flames, engulfing two of them. I did the same to one and jumped away from the flames. Unfortunately a shade grabbed me from behind and flung me into a portrait that was on the ground. I groaned as my back hit the floor. Another shade was right above me before it got a head shot courtesy of Varric. Hawke pushed the last three into the last traps, engulfing them in flames.

Three more appeared and I got up and tackled one to the ground, smashing it over and over until it bled into the floor. Hawke pushed one to the ground and Jarvis went and mauled it. The last one was chopped in half with Fenris' sword. Then a rage demon came from the ground. Fenris activated his ability and sank his greatsword through the rage demon, the blade turning red hot from its body. It melted into the ground, taking a chunk of the floor with it.

Eight more shades came to life, a few up the stairs to the bedroom. They all converged around us. Fenris released his power and cut three down. Hawke was using his staff to keep them away from her and Varric was pummeling the nearest one with Bianca. Jarvis mauled one out of the group but there were still four. Hawke growled and rubbed her hands together. She sent out a firestorm that rained down on the shades that were left, hitting them with precision and fury.

"Why didn't you do that in the first place?" I groaned, cracking my back. That was going to bruise later, I knew it.

"Reasons." She shrugged. Fenris gave Hawke another glare before going up the stairs and trying the door.

"Locked. The key should be around here. Let us search the rooms." Fenris said. We went through and tried a door that looked like a main dining room but all of the benches and tables were thrown around or propped against the wall. The tiles were all broken, leaving the concrete floors for everyone to see. Five shades came out of the shadows and I did a high kick and brought one to the ground before stabbing it in its eye. Fenris gathered around three and slashed them down. It's been a while since I've seen someone with his fighting style. It brought to mind Sten from way back when. Hawke pushed down one and Jarvis mauled at it.

There were more out in the hallway and Hawke concentrated. She let out a full force spell and I heard the cracks on the tile where the demons fell.

"I hate demons." I mumbled.

"That is not the last of them." Fenris said. We opened another door to what looked like a foyer. It was empty scant for a few portraits. We headed to the next and saw huge barrels of liquor. Then I heard a roar of a rage demon coming out of the floor. Fenris wasted no time in killing it. Two more shades came out and Varric shot one to death and the other was brought down to the ground by Jarvis and chewed on. Four more came and I smashed my fist into one against the wall before I sucker punched it into the ground. I evaded another shade behind me, twirling to its back and sinking my daggers into it. I stabbed at it before it vanished. The other two were pushed down on the ground and killed by Fenris.

He kept giving Hawke these suspicious looks. I knew he was glad for her offer to help but Hawke was a mage. Three more shades came from the hallway and entered the room. I upper cutted one and stabbed another in the eye. Varric shot the one that I hit earlier and Fenris plunged his blade into the last one. I saw a small key abandoned in the room and grabbed it.

"Here." I gave Fenris the key.

"Then it is time to meet my master." Fenris said with hate. We went upstairs and opened it. Unfortunately as soon as we did, an Arcane horror appeared before us with a few shades on the lower level. I growled, annoyed with everything we had to kill and rushed toward the Arcane Horror. I jumped on it, sinking my blades into it. Its levitation could carry us both and we fell over the banister onto the floor. I did a timely roll to not get too much damage from it and smashed the Arcane Horror's head on the ground before it stopped moving.

Another shade grabbed me and flung me against the wall. Two more gathered with it and I had three surrounding me. I saw an arrow go through one and I did a round house kick at another, smashing the face of the last one. They both gave me room to work with. I slashed with no mercy, and stabbed one in the eye. I did another kick and stabbed it repeatedly before it went down. Four more shades appeared, Fenris took down two of them. I grabbed at one and flung it to the floor before doing an axe kick. Jarvis came to finish it off. One down and Hawke pushed it against the floor to be pelted by arrows by Bianca.

The demon battle was over and, for some odd reason, I felt drained more from it than ever. I didn't think it was the constant fighting either.

"He's gone…I had hoped…It doesn't matter anymore. Danarius most likely left valuables behind. Take what you want. I…need some air." Fenris said, going out the main door.

"Well he did say to help myself." Hawke said, rubbing her hands and going up the main stairs. I gave out a weary sigh.

"You doing ok Knives?"

"Just tired is all and annoyed." I said, following Fenris out. I saw him leaning against a pillar outside. He gave me a small look before glaring at the ground.

"There you are! I assume that everything has been dealt with?" Merrill asked, using her staff to draw things in the snow outside.

"Yeah. We didn't find his old master unfortunately."

"Oh, that's disheartening."

"Another mage then?" Fenris said, looking at Merrill and her staff.

"Of course. I never presented myself as anything but." Merrill said. Fenris glared at her before returning that gaze toward the ground.

"I think it's best if you went off Merrill." I said, keeping my eyes to Fenris.

"Oh don't forget Jarvis!" Hawke said, coming out with her pack slung over her shoulder. "You'll need an extra pair of teeth to get back home for sure!" Merrill giggled.

"Thank you Hawke. Come now Jarvis, I think I can find something at home for you to nibble on before I send you home." Merrill said, grabbing her staff. Jarvis barked and they both left. Hawke had a little girl's smile on her face.

"I'm guessing you found some good coin or something to sell?" I asked.

"Yes."

"It never ends. I had luck in escaping a land of dark magic. Now it continues to hunt me at every point. Magic is a plague that has burned itself into my flesh and my soul." I put my hand over my mouth again, not wanting to laugh. I couldn't help but think that was so emo. "And now another mage has graced itself into my company. You were casting spells against the demons. I should have realized what you were sooner. What is your purpose? What manner of mage are you? What are you seeking?"

"Well…to sum it all up I want to survive, protect my family, and give my mother a life that she deserves." Hawke shrugged.

"I have seen the atrocities a mage has done for survival." Fenris said, his stance becoming rigid.

"Hey, you don't talk to my friend that way." I said, coming in between them. Fenris' body language softened.

"I apologize if I seem ungrateful. That is the far from the truth. Danarius is not here but I vowed to repay you. This is all the coin I have and the coin that Anso promised you." Fenris said, giving Hawke a pouch of money. Her face lit up from it. "If you need assistance for anything else, I would gladly render it."

"I just have one question for curiosity's sake. Why is your old master hunting you down?"

"He wants me for my lyrium tattoos. These were carved into my skin to provide him with the power he needed to fuel his spells. He's willing to go tear my skin off for his investment to return to him."

"Ugh, that's an image I won't be able to get out of my head." Hawke said. Fenris chuckled at that.

"I do not know of the ritual that he used to place these markings. It was his choice, one that he regrets."

"I can use your swinging prowess in the near future. I'm setting up an expedition to the Deep Roads. If I need your help for any miscellaneous quests in the future, I'll track you down one way or another."

"You'd need not to look far. I will settle in Danarius' mansion should he ever return."

"In Hightown huh? Well I guess I could walk up these stairs for more than one reason then. Fenris, it was a pleasure." Hawke said, bowing and opening up the pouch to look through the coin. I gave Fenris a glance before going with Hawke and Varric. For some odd reason I kept on feeling guilty for what I said to him. I shouldn't have been so rude. Can you even be friends with someone in three days? Hawke shrieked in delight.

"3 whole sovs! Oh this job was worth it!"

"How close are you?" I asked.

"Close to thirty now from all the looting and selling of junk I could find. Oh it's been a long night." We went down the stairs and I saw the moons peeking out of the clouds that passed by us.

"That Fenris must really hate mages. I would too if they tattooed lyrium on my skin." Hawke said.

"I think there's more to that. I can't believe he's going to stay in that filthy mansion."

"Leave him be, it's his choice. Now to go home and sleep!" Hawke said, giggling all the way to the stairs. "Drinks are on me tomorrow!"

"Aren't you supposed to be saving that money?" Varric chuckled.

"It's just for our little group Varric." Hawke said in a sing song voice. We made our way to Lowtown. Varric and I went into the Hanged Man.

"Knives."

"Varric."

I went into my room. I yawned loudly. I don't even know how late or early it all was. I'm surprised I finished this entry. Sleep now.

9:31 Firstfall 20th

I was groggy when I woke up. I slept past breakfast. The bath was a chore to do and my head slightly hurt from my thoughts last night.

God damn it, I just want to sleep. No nightmares, no dreams, just sleep.

Curse me and my nice ways.

I climbed up the stairs back in Hightown. I almost slipped earlier. That would have been a bad tumble. I saw the vendors selling a few of their wares in the market.

"Hey pretty lady! Aren't you interested in buying some Orlesian silks!?" I went past them. There were people milling about, a few with small dogs that looked like terriers. Some Orlesians flaunting their masks. I went past them all toward the mansions and saw the door to Fenris' place. I stood there for a good minute deciding whether or not this was a good idea.

"Ok I said something rude right? I have to apologize…damn you hand why aren't you knocking or something?" I mumbled to myself. I let out a groan as I saw that other people were already talking about me. I bit my lip and my hand went to the door. I opened it. The inside was messy like it usually was. I really wanted to clean. I could deal with a mess but this was ridiculous. I went past the main entrance and went to where we fought the arcane horror. I saw Fenris come out of his room and looked down on me.

"Yo."

"What?"

"That means hi." Fenris went down the stairs and he was not wearing shoes. Why did that bother me? I had no clue.

"What are you doing here?"

"To say I'm sorry." Fenris raised his eyebrow.

"For what?"

"For what I said to you last night. I know I was defending Hawke but…well it came off mean."

"You had every right."

"It did look like you were about to attack her."

"She is your friend and you were trying to protect her."

"Can you be friends with someone in three days?" I wondered. Fenris chuckled.

"You've only known her for three days?"

"Truthfully I've only been in the Free Marches for three days as well."

"You are strange."

"Thank you." I smirked. "So now that I got that off my chest I can now begin my nefarious plan to clean this place."

"How does that make it nefarious?"

"Well you could tell me no and then I'll disregard that and clean anyway."

"You can do as you please. There is no real reason for me to stop you."

"Good because this place just gets on my nerves. Don't mind me or whatever noise I make. I'll make sure to stay out of your way." I said, taking off my armor and my weapons since I wouldn't need them. I was able to find an over turned armor stand to put it on. I had on my usual black long sleeved shirt, black leggings, and kept my boots on.

"You have very unique items." Fenris said, picking up my daggers.

"Thanks. The daggers were made for me by a master smith back in Vigil's Keep and my armor was made by another master smith in a Dalish clan. I'm pretty proud of them." I said, opening the door to go where the supplies were scattered. I was able to find some cleaning cloth and a bucket. I found the water pump and tried to pump it. I wasn't too surprised that he had dwarven plumbing. Damn, it wouldn't budge. "Hm, that's not good. The water must have froze." I tapped my foot. I wouldn't be able to really clean without water.

I went back over to the supplies all thrown about. I saw a broom mixed in the rest and I decided to use that. I went back to the main hall and Fenris was looking at my breast plate.

"Are there runes enchanted into this?"

"Yep."

"They are of master work."

"Like I said, a master smith worked on them."

"Hm."

I went to the main entrance and swept up all the loose papers and various debris that was there. I felt myself smile as I hummed a small song. Normal things like this tended to make my mood better. No darkspawn, demons, other people trying to kill me, or anything. Just cleaning and that was nice. I moved the bench that was flipped over up right. I sneezed when the dust went up my nose. I went back to the supplies. Fenris was gone. I scrounged around the crates and saw a few random plates. I opened another one and found a feather duster.

"Score." I said. The crate was full of cleaning supplies. It had a few aprons and bandanna. There were more washcloths at the bottom. I put on the apron and pulled my hair back tighter for the bandanna to settle in. I dusted off a few of the cobwebs and went to a fireplace to get rid of all the papers. I swept up all the broken tile and glass into one pile. I grabbed the cloth and wiped the glass as best as I could. They came out super filthy.

"Ugh, and this is just the main entrance…" I mumbled. I took out the portraits that were on the floor into another room. I saw a door that we weren't able to go through last time and I opened it. It was a kitchen. I felt the giddiness inside me grow. This was a mansion and it was furnished with all the best stuff. Danarius didn't even stay here for so long and yet had a king's kitchen. I touched the stove and I felt myself smile. They even had an oven! It was so filthy though!

"How could they even let their kitchen deteriorate like this!? You should never let it get to this mess in the first place." I nodded to myself. My stomach growled and I remembered that I didn't even eat breakfast. With all this cleaning I was gaining an appetite for once. When was the last time I even tasted food? I went back to the water pump and tried again. It moved slightly. I pushed down with all my might but slipped and fell. I groaned and hissed in pain when my hand got cut on broken tile. I took off my bandanna and wrapped it around my hand.

"You…will…move…you…mother…" I strained, then it moved. I did a fist pump and kept on pumping. It rattled before water started to come out. It was dirty at first but I kept on pumping until it came out clear. I got the bucket and filed it up. I grabbed the washcloths and went back to the kitchen. I made the cloths went and cleaned a small portion of the kitchen. I wiped and brushed the grill clean. The good thing was that they had plenty of firewood. I took one of the skillets and scrubbed it down. I found and scrubbed down a pot as well.

"There, now let's get a small fire going at least. There…now…ah ha." I took the flint and made a small pile of wasted paper. I made a small fire going. It wasn't going to be ready for a bit. I nodded to myself and went back to the main entrance and hall where my armor was.

"What are you wearing?"

"An apron." I said, taking it off. I took off the bandanna from my hand to check my cut. It scabbed over. I put on my armor again and got my daggers. "I'm going to pick up a few things from the food market. Do you want anything?"

"Why?"

"I'm going to cook. I'm hungry, for once."

"It does not matter."

"Fine, I can work with that." I said, going out the door. "Ah crap, I forgot my money at the Hanged Man." I went back toward the stairs. The sun was high in the sky when I got there. I got down past the bazaar and into the Hanged Man.

"Nia! Where were you all day?" Hawke said, sitting at a table with Bethany, Carver, and Merrill.

"I was up with Fenris in his mansion."

"Moving fast aren't we?" Hawke said suggestively, sipping at her drink.

"It's not like that." I shook my head.

"Who's Fenris again?" Carver asked.

"The elf I helped last night." Hawke said.

"He looked very sad. I wonder if we could do more to help him." Merrill said.

"Not if you're a mage by his standards." Hawke mumbled.

"Are you going to join us Nia?" Bethany asked.

"Maybe later, I'm cleaning his mansion right now."

"You're what?" Carver asked while Hawke laughed at me.

"It's a normal thing to do. It's a mess. I can't let it stay like that."

"If you're that charitable, perhaps you can clean our home." Carver said.

"Don't push it."

"My home gets messy for no reason. I clean and I clean and I clean and yet it doesn't get clean!" Merrill said.

"That's what happens when you live in dilapidated housing like us." Bethany shrugged. I went back to my room and got my pouch. I emptied my pack that had my extra clothes and bedroll and took it out. I went to the food market and got a sack of rice, a de-feathered chicken, some spices, a few eggs, butter, cheese, and a sack of potatoes. My pack was heavy after getting all of this.

"Hmm I could make that…" I mumbled, going through the city to get back to Hightown. I pulled out my daggers when I sense someone reaching for my things and caught a thief's neck. "Touch that pack and I'll cut you." I growled at him. He shrieked and ran through the crowds. I put away my dagger and went back up the stairs. I switched shoulders whenever the pack was getting uncomfortable. I came back to the mansion. I looked at my work and felt proud. For once in a long time I felt…relatively happy. I hummed softly and went back to the kitchen. I took off my armor again. I saw the fire going steady. I closed the door and got the pot. I filled it with water. I grabbed at the potatoes and used my daggers as a makeshift peeler.

"You are my sunshine…my only sunshine…you make me happy…when skies are grey…" I chopped up the potatoes in chunks and put them in the water with some salt. I put the rice away. I took some of the flour and put it in a plate. I grabbed an egg and cracked it in a bowl, whisking it until it was mixed. I cut off pieces of the chicken, put it in the egg, and floured it. I got the skillet and rubbed some butter on it. I laid down the pieces of chicken and it sizzled slightly.

"You'll never know dear…how much I love you…please don't take my sunshine away…" I cleaned a few more utensils that were around the kitchen. I flipped the chicken and they became nicely brown. I took a whiff and my stomach rumbled.

"Oh God when was the last time I was truthfully hungry instead of forcing myself to eat? The wonders of cooking." I poked at the potatoes now that the water was boiling. I checked the flames and they were going strong. I checked the chicken and they were done. I took out the plates and put a slice of chicken on each of them. I put the rest of the chicken near the window. The cold would make sure it wouldn't go bad. I picked at the potatoes again and they were soft. I grabbed the cloths and dumped the water down the drain. I emptied them out and the steam rolled off them. I tasted one and I made sure to sprinkle them with some light salt and pepper. It was a simple dish. I took out a fork and knife and put them with one of the plates.

I went back toward the stairs and went up to where Fenris made his bed. He was sitting in front of the fire place drinking straight from a wine bottle. He noticed me standing there.

"Here." I said, giving him the plate.

"Did you make this right now?"

"You didn't notice the smell?"

"I thought I smelled something burning." I poked his cheek in annoyance. He swatted my hand away.

"Don't touch me."

"It you say that it'll make me want to touch you some more." I chuckled. Fenris rolled his eyes and started to eat. "You could at least say thank you."

"…Thank you." I nodded and went back downstairs. I sat on a bench in the kitchen and ate. The odd thing was that as soon as I took my first bite, I felt that growing lump in my throat. I swallowed hard and I felt tears in my eyes. I took big bites out of everything. It was delicious.

Then why did I cry?

I put my hand over my mouth and I cried silently. I tried to push it down but I couldn't ignore it anymore.

I'm so lonely. I'm so depressed that just a simple thing like a home cooked meal was enough to bring me to my knees.

I want to go home. I want to go home!

"Did you bite your tongue or what?" Fenris said, coming into the kitchen. I looked at him and he noticed me crying but the thing he said was so random that I started to chuckle and then laugh. "You are strange." I wiped away at my eyes. I wanted to cry some more but I pushed it down successfully this time.

"You aren't the first one to say that." I cleared my throat and let out a breath. "I bit my cheek, it hurt. Anyway, there are some left over potatoes if you want some. Bring down your plate, I'll wash." I grabbed at my plates and went to the sink and with bucket. I rinsed off the plates and tools. He brought me his plates.

"It was simple."

"Oh wow such a compliment." I rolled my eyes.

"It was also delicious." Fenris said. I smiled softly as he handed me the dishes.

"Thanks. I try. Soup is my specialty. Maybe I'll make that next time."

"Why?"

"Well cleaning is a tough job. I'll get hungry while doing it."

"And you are sincerely doing this without expecting any form of payment?"

"Fenris the mansion is filthy. I can't leave it alone like this." He took the dry wash cloth and dried the plates and utensils. "Oh I remembered that Hawke invited me for drinks at the Hanged Man, you want to go?"

"I might as well. There isn't anything to do today."

"Awesome." I said, wiping my hands on my shirt. I grabbed my armor.

"Let's go."


Yes still no JAnders...Sorry everyone that's waiting but isn't it good to have a little suspense?...Right...? No...?

White Story: Because everyone loves the angst, broody elf who only wants a hug deep down inside of his little, emotionally wrecked heart! And I actually like Sten. I think he's awesome.
EG: Yep, got all the trilogy and I can't wait for the next one!
Mizuki00: Yeah I know my earlier stories has mistakes but there is no beta that can keep with my update schedule. I re read everything about 3 times and check it over before sending it out. Things still get through. I am very sorry that this story has occupied your time so fervently. I get it too when I read a really good fanfic as well. The hypocrisy will be talked about. And yes, Depression. Write what you know, you know? And the future will be awesome to write!

Thank you Buggy300, Taffy and Sweetrolls, Guest, and Chimera Spyke for your reviews! Please Review!