As obvious, I own nothing to do with 50 Shades.

Hope you enjoy this one. I'd love to know your thoughts :)

Chapter 7

Trying not to show how effected his touch still made her feel, Ana drew her hand away, clasping her fingers together safely in her lap instead. If they were going to do this- have dinner together- then Ana was fully determined to be on her best behavior.

She had always prided herself on being a somewhat trustworthy and faithful person. Just because she was stuck in a forced position with having dinner with Christian, it didn't mean she was going to lose all inhibitions now. It wouldn't be fair to Paul, and the idea of hurting him by going behind his back in any way, it made her feel very nearly ill with guilt.

She could see that Christian was not at all happy that she had deliberately taken her hand away from him, preventing any personal and intimate physical contact from happening between them; She saw the way his grey eyes narrowed slightly, the way his jaw muscles twitched as he stared at her tightly joined hands in her lap, before he leaned back in the chair, resting one elbow on the table. He stroked around his chin with his fingers in a way that seemed almost contemplative as he stared at her fixedly, his other hand resting on his right kneecap.

The fact that he had seemed to read her body language enough to make the conscious decision to no longer go out of his way to hold her hand or touch her- it made Ana's entire body loosen in relief.

"How've you been?" he asked her gently after a moment, startling her.

It definitely hadn't been the question Ana was expecting of him; Half of her had honestly expected Christian to fly into a quick and sudden, possessive rage, telling her that she had best dump Paul and come home with him, under no uncertain terms. Or for him to express his still-burning anger at the very least due to her leaving for the past eight months.

"I haven't been so bad," she said quietly, though at the back of her mind, she knew herself that it was almost a lie. The first few months without him had been exactly as he had described it to her. Torture. With Paul's appearance into her life, a healing, less-painful brand of torture. "How have you been, Christian?"

"That's a ridiculous question, wouldn't you think?" There was a wry bitterness coating his tone. "Eight months ago, I came to your apartment that you shared with your friend Kate, hoping to repair things with you. I hadn't heard from you for days- though, I hadn't assumed anything was strange about that at the time. Well, imagine my surprise when I turned up. There was no... you there, just Kate." His eyes narrowed at her as he peered at her thoughtfully, his fingers still stroking around his chin. "I had made the attempt to call you on your Blackberry the day before, yet you wouldn't answer. I kept only getting through to your voicemail. At first, I assumed that you were simply avoiding me, but then... Kate told me everything I needed to know. She didn't tell me everything, of course. She didn't know the exact details of where you had gone herself, but she had told me enough."

Ana felt goosebumps raise along her arms at the foreboding look he was giving her. It was almost as if he was chiding her.

"You weren't simply avoiding me by not answering your phone. No, you had gone one better, hadn't you?" His voice dropped to a lower level, with nothing but menace in it. "You had left the state without even so much as leaving me a note." Breaking through his severe look, a faint smile came across his lips, though it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm sure I don't need to bother telling you how both incredibly pissed off and helpless it made me to learn that you had actually left, do I?"

Ana could feel another argument coming on. When was it ever going to end?

She could feel a lump building in her throat, and when she started to reply, her voice sounded too croaky with nerves.

She had to clear her throat gently, before saying, "While I can understand how you may have felt hurt by it, can you really blame me for leaving so abruptly the way I did, Christian? I know it was probably rash and... abrupt, but I was hurt and I felt like I needed a quick way out."

"And what is so wrong with being like a pair of civilized adults and actually talking it through instead of running?" Like it was that easy. Would he have even listened to her?

"So this is just the true reason why you did all of this?" Ana burst out in frustration. "You just set this whole thing up so that we could fight and you could make yourself feel better in placing all the blame on me? Is that it?"

"No, that is hardly the reason I did this at all."

"Then why?" she prodded in confusion. "Because if you did just do this because you were looking for a fight with me, then... honestly, Christian, this is wearing thin."

Christian's eyes roamed down her body slowly, taking her in again. Paul had kissed Ana three minutes straight with less effect. She felt a strange tingling sensation break out across her body. "I did this because I wanted to have the chance to talk this out with you. That, and I thought you could do well with a decent meal in you."

Ana tried to keep a straight face, yet the laughter escaped her incredulously. "Wow, you haven't changed one bit in these past eight months, have you? You're still so concerned about what I eat."

She caught the way his eyes closed briefly at the sound of her laughter, before he reopened them again. The tenderness shining there in his eyes for her was almost disarming. "I suppose that's true. I think I will always be concerned about your eating habits, Anastasia. With that said, you do look as though you have lost a decent amount of weight since the last time I saw you."

Ana studied him herself, noticing the thinness in his cheeks. He definitely looked as though he had lost a few pounds since the last time she had been with him, though Ana couldn't tell if that was just a simple trick of the light. "You're one to talk," she muttered. "You look as though you've lost a bit of weight to me yourself, Christian?"

He sighed loudly, nodding once. "Possibly," he said, his voice barely audible. "I'll admit that eating hasn't been one of my main priorities lately these past eight months. Half the time, I found I couldn't stomach anything."

Ana felt her heart drop as she stared at him with pity. Had Christian been just as effected as Ana had after how badly things had ended between them? Had he been hurting just as much as she had?

At first, Ana had believed it couldn't have been possible.

Christian had literally everything at his feet; Wealth, handsome good-looks. Extraordinary toys to play with in his spare time, Charlie Tango being one of them. Could her leaving him all those months ago have truly effected him that profoundly?

Ana had just thought he would have simply bounced back and found a new submissive, just as quickly as she had left for Florida. Maybe even try again with one of his previous subs. Could he have really found it just as difficult as she had?

Kate's words came back to mind, on what she had told Ana at the club that night. Elliot, Christian's brother, had told her that Elliot had been having trouble convincing Christian to meet up and hang out with him, that he was devastated. Could that really have been the truth, after all?

"While I'm still palm twitchingly mad that you left, its hard to maintain it when you do that with your lip the way you do..." Christian's soft and husky words broke through Ana's concentration.

When she peered back up at him from where he sat barely inches across from her, she realized then just what she was doing.

She had her bottom lip between her top front row of teeth, worrying it, while she thought what Kate had said properly through. She hadn't even known what she was doing, seeing as she was wading that knee-deep in her own private thoughts.

Christian had used to always make it quite clear on her just how turned-on he became whenever Ana bit her lip.

Judging by the look in his eyes as they stared at her mouth, how heavily dilated his pupils were, Ana could see- not without some relief- that, despite all that time and distance away from him, she still hadn't lost her effect. He was quite plainly mesmerized.

When Ana released her lip quickly, he had to tear his eyes away from her, focusing at the lit candles on the table instead. Ana thought she heard him clear his throat hoarsely, as if he had something stuck in it.

Christian still hadn't clearly lost anything on her, either. Ana felt suddenly warm- too warm. This was definitely a big mistake, being in a small area with Christian like this. While Ana trusted herself not to do anything that would betray Paul, she thought she knew Christian pretty well. He had made it clear to her that he had no intentions of playing fair; as though this was all a big mission to him to do... something. What was he trying to accomplish in doing all of this? What was his motives?

Fortunately for Ana, the waiter arrived with a bottle of wine, making that tension seem to disappear from her wonderfully. For a few minutes, everything was silent and peaceful while the waiter removed the cork from the bottle of wine with a flourish, pouring red wine into two glasses. Ana was very thankful for another person's presence in the room other than Christian's. She was starting to feel overwhelming already.

"Thank you," Christian said to the waiter, though Ana caught the annoyance in his tone. Apparently he felt they were being interrupted. "I think I can fill our own glasses of wine next time."

"Yes, Sir. I do hope you both enjoy, and I'll come back in ten minutes once you are ready to make your orders for dinner." The waiter left just as quickly as they had entered after placing two menus on the table, leaving Ana wishing she could have somehow called them back. Being alone with Christian was definitely starting to worry her.

"You're very impatient?" Ana observed apprehensively. "It's like you are almost wanting to hurry?"

"And I wonder why that is? With you, I don't know how much time I have left," he explained, the words low and spoken through gritted teeth. "Last time you left to another state before I could even so much as get an actual word out, so pardon me if I'm being a little antsy right now, Anastasia. In all things considered, I believe it is reasonable for me to be feeling that way. Wouldn't you?"

She was definitely learning a lot tonight. Apparently she had actually upset him a lot more than she thought possible. Now he was getting agitated, fearing she was going to make an attempt to escape through the divider again any second now. While Ana felt bad for making him feel that way, she also couldn't deny it made her relieved.

But she couldn't do this; She couldn't have this conversation, not now. She didn't feel ready. She would have much preferred avoiding it all together and put it off for as long as she could.

"Should we have a look at the menu?" she asked, trying to sound unconcerned by his behavior.

Christian stared at her for a long, impassive moment, before he shrugged. "Very well. We'll look at what we can order, and then we can focus on this very overdue discussion that we need to have."

Judging by the way he said it, Ana realized he wasn't going to be taking no for an answer. Christian couldn't be distracted easily; No, he was fully determined to talk it out with her. He was a man searching for resolution. He wanted to talk it over with her, and he wanted to right there and then, in the restaurant. No ifs or buts.

Christian opened one of the menus up before pulling his chair in closer next to the side of hers, resting both arms on the table as they both leaned over to read the list on the menu together. Kate was definitely indeed right; The food was extremely expensive, in the hundreds dollar mark for just a mere few oysters on the entree.

While Ana tried to concentrate on figuring out which main to select from the menu, she found it extremely difficult for the words to properly sink in and make sense. It wasn't easy, not when Christian was so close the way he was, his shoulder resting against hers.

It had been so long since they had even breathed the same air together, so long since she had felt his body brush against hers. While his shoulder was covered by the thin material of his jacket, she could still somehow feel the delicious heat and energy radiating off his body.

Reminding herself of Paul and picturing the hurt expression on his face had he ever seen the pair of them having dinner together like this, she was pleased that it had the similar effect as someone throwing a bucket full of ice-cold water on her without warning.

"What are you having, Ana?" Christian lifted his eyes from the menu to glance directly at her and, at such a close angle, it was dangerously tempting.

"Um... I'm not so sure yet. What are you having?"

"I intend to have the sirloin steak in the peppered onion sauce, with the green vegetables and mushrooms."

"Okay, I'll just have the same then," Ana suggested, with a shrug. It wasn't as though she wanted to have what he was having, of course. Really, she just wanted the evening to be over as quickly as humanly possible.

Mirth flashed in his eyes as a lopsided smile came across his mouth. "Like old times, Miss Steele, eh? Me ordering for you?" Then the smile left just as quickly as it came. "And what do you want for dessert?"

"No dessert," Ana got out in a rush. If they had dessert, it would mean longer hours spent in the room close to him. "I don't feel like dessert. One meal is just enough for me, but thank you." She could feel Christian watching her suspiciously as she lowered her eyes, staring at the red wine in her glass instead.

"Very well then," he sighed loudly, closing the menu. "No dessert. I'm pleased. I was much planning on having you for the dessert anyway. Eating you seems far more appetizing than all of that cheesecake and mousse that they were offering on the menu."

Ana's gaze snapped up without her control as she gaped at him. Was he fooling around with her? Damn him. Why did the idea of him eating her have to sound so sexy?

Christian met and held her gaze as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, moistening it. Her cheeks felt as if they were burning as she glanced away hurriedly.

Don't even go there, she warned herself. Think of something else. Anything else but how good it would feel to have his tongue on you. Ana knew from experience just how well Christian used his tongue. God, how he uses his tongue...

The waiter arrived, saving Ana yet again unknowingly from a potentially dangerous situation. Christian was just as rude and abrupt as before, explaining what they wanted for dinner and that desert was off the menu for both of them. Once the waiter leaved, Ana wished yet again that they would come back and not leave her helplessly alone in a hazard like this.

"I saw how relaxed you were with that fucker. At the club last night." Christian's sudden change of subject left Ana's head whirling.

"What?"

"With that fucker? How relaxed you were? It was different from how you always were with me."

How to instantly get Ana's hackles up: Insult her boyfriend. "Please, Christian," she whispered in warning. "Don't call Paul that, especially not in front of me. He has a name, so use it."

"I don't give a shit what his name is. He's still a fucker to me regardless. I want you to be that relaxed around me."

What he was telling her was unbelievable. Ana almost laughed out loud at the sheer nerve he had. "Well, it is different with Paul. I won't pretend it isn't. With Paul, he..." She hesitated for a moment uncertainly, glancing up at his face. She didn't want to make him mad. But if anything, Christian was staring at her attentively. He wanted to know. "Paul doesn't intimidate me. He doesn't make me feel like I have to walk on eggshells constantly around him- like you do. With him, I can almost be myself. I can... say anything and do anything, without having to worry that he might flip a switch and get angry and punish me due to that."

Christian shook his head, frustration evident in his eyes. "You can be yourself around me?"

"No, I can't. You wanted me as your submissive, and it just... it didn't feel like a real relationship to me. There was all of these rules with you; Don't touch you, obey, don't go against your opinion... or else get punished." She sucked in a deep breath. "There's... none of that with Paul. It's just a normal relationship, where we laugh and have fun. I don't have to worry that he'll want to punish me in anyway. I can... be myself, truly myself."

"Like I said to you, those previous eight months without you, they have been... torture for me. Very difficult, but at the same time, it was also... very revealing. It made me learn a few certain details about myself. I've thought about it a lot, seeing as there was hardly anything else I could do but to think. You wouldn't let me contact you so all I could really do is think and hope that someday soon you would come back."

Ana thought she knew where his words were heading, but she didn't think she had the power or strength to listen to them. This couldn't happen. Not now, not when she wasn't ready. Not while she was in a relationship with Paul.

Ana started to push her chair backwards. "I think I need to go to the bathroom for a minute." It was the only excuse she could think of to make.

Christian caught the movement of her chair, his eyes narrowing. "No, you don't," he said immediately, causing her to stop stock still from where she stood. "You don't need to go to the bathroom right now, Ana. Do you really think I'm that blind? I know what you're doing. You're planning to run again, aren't you?"

How he knew her intentions so well, Ana had no idea.

"Really, Christian. I'll be back in just a-"

"-Do you love the fucker?" The blunt question almost made her lose her balance as Ana sank back down into her chair, defeated. Christian turned to look at her, his expression serious. "Paul. Are you in love with him?"

Yet again, she hated that he had to ask her that. Ana still didn't know the answer to that herself. She glanced away from him, staring at their untouched glasses of wine to buy herself a bit of time. "I... I don't know. All I know is that I'm... very fond of Paul. I like him a lot, and he's been really great to me."

Christian didn't say anything for a long moment after that. She caught out of the corner of her eye his arm move as he combed his fingers through his hair. When she peeked at his face quickly, she saw that he was no longer looking at her. He was staring at the table, a fleeting and distant look there in his eyes.

"And what about me, Ana?" Finally, he glanced over at her with a look so hard and intense that it felt almost as if he was capable of staring straight through her to her very brain. He licked his lips, hesitating for a moment, before asking, "You told me you had fallen in love with me before you left eight months ago. Is that now in the past tense?" His eyes scrutinized her face gravely, an anxious gleam in them. "When you are here with me, now..." Reaching over, he placed his large hand in her lap, his fingers stroking her thigh, "... Do you feel that you still are in love with me at all?"

Ana felt her stomach constrict painfully as she glanced down at what his hand was doing, resting in her lap. His long, slender fingers made her skin tingle as he rubbed them in a repetitive motion on her inner thigh. God, it had been so long since he had touched her, since they had been in bed, naked together. She had to fight the impulse to grab his hand, to guide it up higher between her legs underneath the fabric of her dress.

"Here's what I want you to do for me, Ana, and I won't repeat myself." The sharpness in his tone caused Ana to immediately glance at him. His face was slack in a way that told her Christian was just as aroused at being able to touch her again as Ana was; his lips slightly parted, breaths coming out slow and urgent. "If you feel any semblance of love for me left at all, then you'll break it to Paul. You'll end it with him, and you'll come back to me. You'll be mine again, like you'll always be, because... you are mine, Ana."

She was his... How he said that was in such a definite tone that had anyone heard them, they wouldn't have doubted it whatsoever that she truly was.

It was as though he'd expected them to instantly fall back into that same old routine, now that she was back in the state; Where she'd try to be his willing, obedient sub, allowing him to order her around. You do this, you do that or else I take you over my knee. Hadn't he learned anything at all during their time away from one another?

While Ana still felt the same as before when she had left him, physically, emotionally; She thought she had changed in other ways. She would no longer let him boss her around anymore, not if she could truly help it. This was where Ana thought their problems had mainly lay.

"Honestly, I feel like I'm standing on an already frayed wire that is just about to break here," he went on, his voice gruffer. "I want you back and if I have to keep enduring seeing you with that fucker, seeing where he puts his hands on you, how he makes you smile... I swear, I may very well end up killing him." His taunting words were disturbing.

"You have to learn to let me go, Christian," Ana flared anxiously. "You need to stop saying scary things like that, even if you mightn't truly mean them."

"But I can't let you go, Ana. Not now. You just need to admit that you haven't gotten over me anymore than I have gotten over you. I know you- I can read you like a book. You don't love Paul, not in the way that you love me. And you being away from me for so long, the reason I couldn't let go, is because I realize that... that I love you. I've never been in a hearts and flowers vanilla relationship before, but I'm willing to try with you."

Ana had to look away at his declaration. She felt as though her heart was beating dangerously fast in her chest. Hearing him say what he was saying, that he even loved her... it was like someone had punched a fresh hole into her chest over and over again.

Christian had said that he wasn't going to play fair. And by telling Ana he loved her? Hell, that was the dirtiest trick in the book. How could he even stoop so low as to get that deep into the game, playing with her heart like that? And to think of threatening not only her, but Paul's life in the process? Intimidate her, like he always does. One minute he says he wants to see her relaxed around him. Then in the next, he gives her good reason not to be.

"Please, Christian. I really do need to go to the bathroom," Ana managed weakly, staggering to her feet again. His hand slid off her leg, leaving her thigh aching from the loss of contact.

She wasn't sure if Christian knew what she was going to do in the next few seconds, but obviously she looked convincing enough. He eyed her suspiciously for a moment before nodding slowly.

"Fine, you can go to the bathroom. If you aren't back in at least five minutes time, then we'll be having problems. I'll have to resort to tying you up to the chair and force-feeding you. Something tells me that you wouldn't want that, would you?"

By the look on his face, Ana knew he wasn't fooling around.

But as she grabbed her clutch quickly and slid through the divider end, she broke out into a brisk jog, running outside the building to her car; The crisp cold air slicing through her dress and cooling her overheated skin wonderfully.

Christian was bound to be incredibly mad at her for running again, she knew. But it was the only thing she could think of doing to save herself, to avoid having to admit the truth and to avoid the possibility of having to have that hurtful conversation with Paul.

Hope you enjoyed this one? Please do let me know what you think, as I love knowing.

What do you think? Should Ana give in or let him sweat a little but more? Should she tell Paul her feelings?