Chapter 7

Silvina was happy.

She had music; she was learning so much from Professor Goodchild, learning how to make the tunes that came into her head into music. She knew enough now to write them down, and Professor Goodchild had presented her with a muggle-made exercise book of manuscript paper and told her to jot down any ideas, however short or unfinished because she could always take them and finish them another time. Recording them as they occurred to her was what was important. Professor Goodchild admitted to being awed by the ability to write music; he was a virtuoso performer but though he could teach her how to improve what she had written, he did not have the original ideas. And Silvina had learned enough to respect him for admitting to not being able to do something.

He COULD show his class how to use a musical instrument as an alternative to a wand; and told them that one day they would progress to using their voices or whistling to do the same thing. The patterns created by music, performed with magical will behind them, could be a focus in the same way that a wand was a focus. Music was to be enjoyed for its own sake; but their education was to include magic in music, which was how it was to differ from muggle music lessons.

The knowledge that muggles produced manuscript books and played music was a revelation to Silvina; she had very little idea of the capabilities of muggles and had been shocked to find out that Godfrey had been trained by a muggle who had a relative at Hogwarts because he had been picked by Lucius Malfoy on musical skill over magical ability. But then, Silvina acknowledged, she was ignorant about many things; largely because her parents were narrow, ignorant people who had kept their children narrow and ignorant.

Professor Goodchild had problems with his parents too; and jealous older siblings. He had cut most of his ties with his family. And Silvina was suddenly curious about what had occurred over the letter she had left when she placed herself into Professor Snape's care.

She ran to his office and knocked on the door.

"Herein!" he called in the Austrian fashion they followed.

Silvina entered.

"Silvina?" said the Head "Have a seat; what can I do for you?"

Silvina dropped the obligatory curtsey and sat down, hands clenched in her lap.

"I just wondered what happened about the letter I left for my parents; whether you had any trouble over it" she said "I – I've been so busy finding music and catching up that I guess I just forgot my parents."

Severus regarded her wryly.

"Poor sad creatures that they are that you can" he said. "Well, my dear, I'm afraid they took as much notice of you; they did nothing to find you and took no action. Draco dropped in after a couple of months to see why, claiming to have had a copy of the letter sent to the Auror's office – I had passed the information on and registered your desire to be a ward of your school as I am legally obliged to do – and I am afraid they had already decided that if you did not want their home, you were no daughter of theirs. Draco asked if they did not want their younger daughter checked out in case her aberrant behaviour was due to a curse; they claimed there was nothing wrong with her and that you lied. Draco got irritable at that point and pointed out that children could not lie under legilimensy; he knows I have used legilimensy on you, my child, to see the extent of Celestina's nastiness. They refused all help for her; and refused to acknowledge you so I fear they have failed both their daughters."

"What's going to happen? Is SHE coming here? I – I don't think I could bear that sir!" cried Silvina, suddenly panicking.

"Oh I shan't have her" said Severus "AND I've passed on warnings to Dumbledore – and Professor Fraser who'll be the new head of Hogwarts next September when she would have been to start – and Hellibore now he's co-ed; and Madam Maxime of Beauxbatons and Madame Bacsó of Durmstrang; and indeed to Neville Longbottom of the free school. The worst they have there is sneak thieves and pickpockets, I doubt they'll care to lower the tone of the place. That's better" as Silvina giggled. "I hesitated to pass on the rejection until YOU wanted to know. They have been induced by Draco to formally disown you, leaving you free for adoption at any time you should wish it. I haven't offered it myself as you'd be only one of a large number of siblings; and because I am extremely demanding of my own children and expect them to devote themselves to fighting dark wizards and evil generally and to put such before their own wishes."

"I can't put anything in front of music; now it's come out I can't force it back" said Silvina honestly. "But – but even if you don't feel I'm good enough to adopt, I'd like to do all I can to support what you do; it's all I can do to say 'thank you' for all you've done for me."

"It isn't a question of not being good enough to adopt" said Severus harshly "Put THAT idea out of your head! Merely that you would be only one of many; and I would, to avoid favouritism, be harder on you than others in the class. I would put your needs behind those of those unrelated to me; because I expect my children to learn to stand on their own feet. One's family is an extension of oneself; one puts others first. I have no wish to be unfair to you by that."

"I guess I'd give almost anything to have a dad like you" said Silvina.

"Do you really know what we do?" said Severus softly "You are old enough to understand. If you were my child I would expect you to be part of the blooded; those of us who initially made the blood pact to help Harry bring in others to support the fight against dark magic; and all our children are born a part of it. My adopted children are all part of the pact – though I only asked Tarquin and Ismenia this year if they were ready. It involves sharing blood to share a part of each other in a way too profound to describe in words. It gives much; but it also means you are irrevocably tied to the rest of us. I need you to think deeply before you consider going that route; and I want you to read my book 'Blood Magic, Love Magic' about the rituals we did for Harry; when you have read it, think hard. And if you still wish to proceed to become my daughter we shall see about bringing you in. And you may be more comfortable as my ward; the Ingates always have been. Harmony Bloom Weasley wanted to join, without adoption; and she waited until her last year in school. We who are blooded are ALL family; but some are closer than others. You can talk to Julian about it; he is blooded as a Marauder and a warrior against evil whilst having a perfectly good family of his own. Svetlana was blooded in by Sandalla – which was when we brought all that bunch of marauders in because Sandalla went ahead on her own – because Svetlana, though she has fey blood, was a muggle who was picked as a double of Sandalla to be tortured in her stead to force Sandalla's father into obeying Odessa. We rescued them both and Sandalla decided that her orphan double should have a chance to do magic. The blood sharing has given magic to Svetlana. And we ticked off Sandalla royally for jumping the gun on that, I can tell you!" he added.

"It – it's very powerful, isn't it?" said Silvina, awed.

"It is; and joining to get power is NOT the right reason" said Severus. "To be helped over a handicap, to be given support and to give support; those are the reasons that are acceptable. It is essentially a sharing. Now go read the book" he handed a copy to Silvina "And cogitate most deeply. We shall speak more on the subject after the end of term."

Silvina got up to curtsey and leave.

Professor Snape did not lie; he was afraid she wasn't strong enough to cope, she thought.

Was she? That was something she had to find out inside herself. Perhaps she wasn't. She would read the book and ask Julian about what Marauders did. He did not seem to think she need be a Marauder; but they were honorary family for what they did or something.

Silvina managed with a flash of unwonted insight to realise that Professor Snape was more concerned about her feeling that she had failed him than whether she was not so strong as some of his other children. She could never be like Jade who had spied in Durmstrang. It was all very difficult!

But now she had music she could be a stronger person. And though Jade and Seagh were undoubtedly musical – and Professor Snape himself and Madam Malfoy were too – it was something she could bring to them and share. And if Professor Snape did not think it important he would not have placed such emphasis on the skill in his school.

She took herself off to do some serious reading.

It would be wonderful to have someone to belong to; but whether she proved she was strong enough or not, she was still happier than she could have ever imagined and she would not let this dilemma disturb that!

oOoOo

Victor was pondering over the arrangements for the Yule Ball, the decorations traditionally a job for the Head Boy or Girl. A rather recent tradition, but it had been so at Hogwarts and had continued here. He decided to ask for the aid of the musicians of the castle, and make the ball a celebration of magical music to commemorate the inauguration of its teaching. He would get in exotic flowers of the types given at Christmas and ask to have them enchanted as the music for the ball; amaryllis for horn music and the delicate bells of hyacinth to ring in accompaniment; dried grasses as a whispering percussion and gourds as shakers. It would be a bright and almost tropical scene; a defiance of midwinter rather than an acceptance.

The musicians were enthusiastic and soon Victor was hearing ideas about Big Band sounds for dancing to; and was content. It would be gay and colourful and if not as original as some offerings should be pleasing, he thought, and at least not as pedestrian as some of the balls at Hogwarts he had heard about! And nice smoochy numbers like 'Moon River' should go down well. It would not suit Emily, as his partner, of course; but then Emily danced with military precision and energy and the concept that there should be any artistry or even enjoyment attached to something that was good for you had somehow passed her by. Emily would probably prefer a Yule Quidditch match.

Well she would quickstep well enough to 'Hello Dolly' or similar and they might then leave it at that; as Head Boy he really ought to dance with all the sixth and with a bit of luck Krait would give him a dance too, because she was really very good and a pleasure to dance with. And she and Severus looked so good when they danced together! He grinned suddenly, thinking of the other female Professors and thought that Madam Granger danced with the same determined precision that Emily did, even when using it for ritual.

If he pulled a bit of ritual himself so the floor was also enchanted, musical notes might float up as feet touched it, in a rather esoteric twist on the fluorescent fart jinx. He could manage that easily! Sort of reverse snow.

oOoOo

"Victor, can you cast the cruciatus curse?" asked Silvina.

Victor stared.

"In principle I know how. It's a forbidden curse kiddy, or hadn't you checked what unforgivable means lately?"

Silvina flushed.

"Well I know some of you bigger people in the MSHG do stuff that's kind of forbidden to learn counters. And I think I might be able to work a counter only I can't unless I know what it's like, can I?"

Victor whistled.

"You'd do better to ask Sev about that" he said.

"I want it as a surprise for him" said Silvina.

"Here, you're not being dippily romantic are you?" demanded Victor "He already has three wives, that's quite enough!"

Silvina stared in surprise.

"Oh no!" she said "Why he's too old to be romantic about! I want to convince him that I'm worthy to be his adopted daughter!"

"Well kid, I should think wanting to be was enough; knowing that he does stand into danger. Oh, you want to convince him that you CAN stand in harm's way taking the curse to come up with a counter?"

"It wasn't really that; more that if I can do something useful I shall be strong, not a freeloader who just wants a decent daddy" said Silvina.

"Silvina, Grace Snape Malfoy is strong by being THERE for her Draco; Sev adopted her to protect her initially because she is such a gentle little thing; her strength is in her ability to love fiercely. If you have an idea, I'll willingly help develop it but I don't think I ought to be chucking unforgivable curses without the say so of one of the staff. And I'm next door to being Sev's son – he's my father figure – because like you I have rather limited parents."

"It's in music; you don't do music" said Silvina "Only I trust you."

Victor grinned.

"A nice compliment – though asking someone to break the law egregiously is less of one. Ask Seagh; he's less scrupulous than I am AND he's musical."

Silvina brightened and went to talk to the hawk-nosed half fey.

He listened.

"I'll teach you the damn curse as well" he said "You need to know its form. Are you looking to base the tune on midwifery charms turned into music? I have some scores too of Finnish music used in childbirth."

"I hadn't thought of it; is it really that painful then? I thought it was natural."

Seagh gave a wolfish grin.

"Natural it might be but it still hurts like hell – as those of us who've been blood-joined to pregnant women can assure you" he said "If you want to be my sister, y'do ken fine that you'd be blooded?"

Silvina nodded.

"And if I can do this it'll then help with childbirth perhaps" she said. "Why is it so painful?"

"Because of two things in our evolution from monkeys" said Seagh "Oh, didn't you know we developed from apes? 'cos we did. And it's still a moot point over whether the fey drew on a form established as sentient or whether they made us by poking apes as the cleverest beasts around to try to get some substance. And the two things are, standing on two legs – which puts a strain on the spine – and having got so smart we have heads that are almost too big to be born. House elves have heads that squish all long as they're born – and it still kills plenty of the puir sleekit wee bastards – but they have a fey mutability that human skulls can't cope with. All right; let's look at the scores first and see what you can do with the midwifery charms. Dad prefers to rely on potions or chanting; the subtle arts. But music is a subtle art too. If you can pull this off you'll deserve fame."

"I don't want fame; I want a family" said Silvina.

Seagh brushed her face with a hand.

"I'd say if you're prepared to try an extra curricular bit of research you were born half Snape already" he said. "Hang on, I can put the cruciatus curse on you with one hand and a pain relieving charm with the other; then I'll write out their respective formulae."

Silvina clenched her teeth and nodded.

The pain was excruciating and she fell to her knees, trying not to scream, feeling the scream escape; then the pain moderated. And then it stopped.

Seagh picked her up and dumped her on the sofa in his study and summoned a cup of tea.

"Drink this" he said.

Silvina did so.

"Too sweet" she said.

"I prescribed extra sugar for shock" said Seagh. "And Ah'll no' do that again tae a wee nipper like you" he added in a thickened accent for the stress.

"I don't really WANT it again" said Silvina "Though we shall have to test the tune."

"Yes, but it you cast it on me another time I KNOW I can take it" said Seagh. "You did good; did you note how the pain relief charm alleviates? That's enough for most medical conditions, but the cruciatus curse resonates directly in the pain centre" he hesitated "There are two clusters of nerves in the brain, one for pleasure and one for pain. They're quite close. Sometimes that can get a little connected; it leads to all sorts of sexual aberration. Voldemort invented a pleasure curse to use WITH the cruciatus curse to – well, let's just say to exert an unusually cruel control on someone. It's not a pain caused by just hurting you but by the centre of feeling pain. That's why blocking the spell works but negating it never totally has. And cast often enough and for long enough at a time it can cause insanity though it does no physical damage. If you want to negate that you need to come up with a tune to vibrate with and effectively switch off the pain centre. Which has its own danger."

"I don't understand that" said Silvina.

"Well, if you are not actually feeling pain because you've switched off the pain centre you could stick your hand in the fire until it burned to a stump without noticing; or walk over glass cutting your feet into ribbons; or bleed to death because you haven't noticed a wound" said Seagh. "I'm just thinking of the negative applications that my fey connections would be like to find amusing; getting a servant to do such things while the music played and wondering that they felt no pain then stopping the tune to laugh themselves silly as the shock hit their victim. I have a dark side from that blood; that I must aye fight against. But it tells me how it could be used."

Silvina stared in horror.

"So – should I NOT go ahead?"

"Oh yes!" said Seagh "Just be aware that the best things can be usurped for ill purpose. A muggle who wanted to produce cheap electricity came up with an invention that was turned into a weapon that is the most fearsome the world has ever known; that has no magical counter. It makes electricity too, but muggle governments are no different than wizarding ones so if it is cheap, the profits find their ways into someone else's pockets rather than being passed on to the public. If you can stop pain at its source you can stop badly damaged people dying of shock, once there's a healer to stop them bleeding too much. Do you want to do it all alone or shall I help?"

Silvina flushed.

"I WANT to do it all alone; but I don't think I'm actually good enough at the Arithmancy side" she said "I've got quite good but….. well, if you'd help…."

"That's a level of maturity you've gained" said Seagh. "Reckon your instincts will start you on the tune; and the Arithmancy will be a refinement. And I'll tell you right off to try to figure in twenty three; it has particular significance for the makeup of the human – and goblin and elf – body. Maybe a repeat in twenty three bars" he suggested. "And you could add counterpoint to refine the effect. Though if anyone is desperately humming or whistling it to counter effects that's not much help" he added thoughtfully. "Actually, there's more to twenty three than just tying it to people," he went on in excitement, "because I recall Lilith holding forth that it's the mass of a chemical called sodium, which makes up loads of stuff in the body, including being necessary in the passing of neural messages – and what is the cruciatus curse but a passing of extreme neural messages? If you could use twenty three to BLOCK sodium to the pain centre that might help too!"

"I can see I need to work hard" said Silvina "But that's a grand idea – it needs a subtle timing and counterpoint on a twenty-three bar repeat, one to tie it to the body and one to counter this sodium."

"A problem if someone's trying to hold a tune though" said Seagh.

"I was kind of thinking that if anyone anticipated encountering it – if they're an auror say – it might be possible to enchant an earpiece that – that could be started to play it or that had some kind of automatic condition to play" said Silvina.

"Hmm, better something implanted; that's not such a bad idea at that" said Seagh "Or better yet, enchant the ruddy ear to play the tune if there's pain, tied to a compulsion that recognises pain. Mind, that's a refinement for the far future; you have to get your tune first; and see if a simple harmony is enough or if it needs contrapuntal variation. I reckon it may well do. Here's the scores; I'll copy them out for you, I only have these one copies of them. Take the formulae for now and bash out the Arithmancy on them and then I'll refine that with you. Feeling better now?"

"Yes thanks Seagh. And thank you for your time."

"Glad to give it on a worth while project. WHY by the way did you think you have to prove yourself to Dad?"

"I got the feeling he felt I wasn't strong enough to cope" said Silvina "And – and that he was reluctant to have yet another adoptive child."

Seagh grinned.

"Well we are rather ubiquitous!" he said "You'd do better to spend time getting to know the little ones better you know; if THEY accept you, that's far more important because if you're our sister you're their sister too and a big one to run to. Being able to actually list them is enough of a challenge! He doubtless feels that you might not get much of him as a father, being spread as he is a bit like butter spread over too much bread; it'll be for your sake he demurs, my girl, not any desire for you to prove yourself. Dad takes every kid who passes through his hands personally – which is why he gets so upset when he has to expel anyone and why he jumped at having you back when you'd learned to heed his lessons – and he gets easily hurt because of that. But it means he tries hard to think of the welfare of each and every one. And I know him so well because there's enough of him that's like me to know that he hopes you'd not be disappointed and expect a huge amount of attention all the time. We get love from dad and the mums and all our siblings; but he's no' verra demonstrative, though he's good for cuddles when you need them. No spoiling or anything like that; just the ability to drop in to his study and be companionable and knowing that he's there to talk to any time. Like he TRIES to be for all the school; only you can't help but take it more personally when it's family. He says with a hand on the shoulder what it takes a lot of fathers big sloppy kisses and demonstrative hugs to say. And it's easy for people to interpret that as uncaring and cold. I expect too he's afraid you'd think that and feel let down again."

Silvina stared.

"Oh!" she said. "But – but it won't do any harm to try to prove I can do good stuff?"

"Ye shilpit wee sumpf ye can do good stuff as well himsel' kens!" said Seagh lapsing back into his vernacular "Wis not yer first piece ye played last year juist the promise of it? This is extra – but dinnae dae it tae prove tae the man that ye can, dae it tae prove t' yersel' and because it's a guid thing tae dae!" he gave a rueful smile "I'm not going to convince you kiddy; I felt every day when I was first with the family that I either needed to prove I was worthy of such a wonderful family or that I had to kick off to see if they rejected me before I got so settled that rejection would hurt the more. I was only ten mind" he added "And more used to kicks than jam. Have you done your ordinary homework?"

"Most of it" said Silvina.

"Horrid child! Run and do the rest of it before you look at this crap; and give me time to copy scores too!" said Seagh "Hoppit!"

Silvina hopped.

Seagh could be intimidating but he was very kind really.

It would be awfully difficult; she had known that she had no concept of how bad the cruciatus curse really was, but even so it had been worse than she could ever have imagined. And it if hit where you FEEL pain in your brain that would explain it. So she had to hit that with the tune.

Well it WAS worth trying; and if she only got so far with it, clever people like Seagh and Professor Snape could finish it off and get it right if she could only have a harmony to build on!

And that came easily to her; setting up a rhythm in her head based on the spells they were to copy the effects of, to hang an appropriate tune on, circus type music for locomotor charms, and – most difficult to date – two themes intertwined, one dominant at first then a segue into the other with canon overlaying it to effect a transfiguration. It took more effort to turn a beetle into a button with music but that they had established that one could do it in principle was a triumph. Professor Goodchild was not sure it could be done; and Silvina had been the only one to manage! Which was bizarre because she had trouble with transfigurations in the common way.

The Cruciatus Curse was nothing but a charm however; it made an object – the brain – behave in a way that was unusual, it did not change anything.

It might be wise to play around with countering laughing charms and sneezing curses first; they too made the brain believe that you needed to laugh or sneeze.

Doing all this original research was going to be rather good fun!

But she HAD better do her Ancient Runes homework first, however easy going Professor Maxime might be!

oOoOo

With end of term exams the first had no real time to get into any more mischief; and weekends were well regulated with dancing in the hall for all the school or quidditch and flying when the weather lay below the horn of the mountain. Severus was pleased that he was able to write fairly good reports about all the new ones; though sighing a little over Evadne – he had heard unofficially all about the shadow fey and her non participation – and writing that Evadne might enjoy herself more if she could try to join in more with her own age group rather than being convinced that she was a junior staff member, and that though her heart was in the right place she seemed a little unable to lighten up and enjoy harmless mischief.

He had no report to write for Siegfried; the poor child had not had any relatives for hundreds of years. Severus was half considering adopting him – if it were only fair when he already had so many children. He was half hoping that the lad might form a bond with the Grindlers or the Nachtigalls; both families having also been werewolves before the cure. The boy got on well with all his fellows; if there was any special friend however it seemed to be Conrad, for Siegfried was a kind youth and had taken especial pains with Conrad to help bring him on. Not that the rest had not done their utmost too; but Siegfried seemed to have particularly attached himself to Conrad and got on well with him. Well Conrad was an only child; perhaps that would lead to a home for Siegfried.

And how splendid it was to write that Conrad was coming on well, and had manifested magic demonstrably and reproducibly and that this was in the course of mischief in no way diminished his pleasure as headmaster in the reporting of it, especially as he did not officially know about the incident.

It WAS nice not having any real adverse criticism to write! Of course some were less able in certain classes than others; Germaine and Solange were poor at Arithmancy as was Conrad; Solange was scarcely numerate and got in a terrible muddle over bases. He wrote on both girls' reports as he did on Conrad's that he would be arranging them remedial Arithmancy next term with another teacher in the hopes that a different approach might help to overcome the points over which they struggled. Krait was less abrasive than Hermione and less likely to be intimidating to those already behind. He sympathised with Hermione; he was less abrasive himself these days than when he was so acutely unhappy before Krait had come into his life, but even so he felt occasionally like turning the more dunderheaded of his pupils into horned toads and did not always refrain from snapping a sarcastic comment at them. It was easier to deal with the amusing incidents – Rose Hubble's wit-sharpening potion that had solidified sullenly into the shape of a brain that was trying to become a cauliflower that had then exploded in multicoloured gobbets for example – than with the entirely and unregenerately dire. And Hermione never did have much of a sense of humour and had needed to be worked on to laugh at Kate Grant's determined calculation of the rate of flow of water from an average wand at two thirds the speed of light. Hermione had finally written on THAT effort 'if the water flowed that fast it would be an effective weapon and would probably kill the caster for draining his life force; see me.'

'See me' was an intimidating sort of thing to get on a piece of homework from Madam Granger!

oOoOo

The post NEWT students were required to write a personal self assessment on how they were keeping to their study plan as well as receiving Severus' own written critique. And he was pleased with them all.

They had been learning about complex chanting as a part of ritual; and indeed studying ritual as a whole. Those who had studied high level Arithmancy had learned to calculate things like the optimal number of wizards to use in a particular ritual; but had never actually studied ritual itself. It was another of those things generally taught by rote on the job. Severus did NOT teach by rote; he taught theory and its practical application ruthlessly and Ron, dropping in on a lesson had asked how come he made something as simple as opening a gate so damnably complex and arithmantic.

Severus laughed.

"Simple to you, Ron, because you've been doing it since you were fourteen; at which point the Arithmancy was really a superfluity since you had demonstrated that you had the instinctive ability. I'd fail a post NEWT class if I did not give them the theory too; and it would be a waste not to apply all those lovely figures Hermione crunched after you and Harry sloped off to share a bag of chocolate frogs. Do be aware that you lot were doing ritual seriously on Harry's behalf far younger than ever it had been done before and before you remind me that half my preschool brats do it too, they just pick it up as they go along. And any one of those who are over seven is probably more capable than nine out of ten of the ministry."

"Crumbs Sev mate, that's devastatingly insulting!" said Ron "What have your kids done to be so insulted?"

Severus laughed and Gibbsed him.

His high level students had been told a few stories of what the Young Marauders had got up to; and were determined to try to be as good!

They also had a lot better idea of some of the more unpleasant things available through the Dark Arts – advanced Dark Arts was a course Severus wanted them to cover to give them some protection – and were determined to have as many tools as possible at their disposal to counter the same.

oOoOo

The Yule Ball was a light relief to end the term; and the Tugwood twins duly giggled at the Broomstick Boys. Nils and Crys bore it manfully. They danced with other girls too and fans like Emily were much gratified.

The décor was a success and so was the music, and the musicians were much congratulated. Even the youngest musicians had been included – and were permitted to stay up long enough to hear what it sounded like all put together – which were Siegfried and Solange.

It went with a swing; and if there were less waltzes than for some years, rumbas and foxtrots were slow smoochy numbers and those who did not know the steps made them up as they went along.

And Professors Snape and Malfoy, quickstepping to 'Jeepers creepers' was reckoned to be the best piece of exhibition dance any of them had ever seen, even though Professor Devlin said it was a shame Professor Fraser had never really mastered the quickstep because it took a dog to do the leg-cocking in the corner move.

Her husband poked her for that.

And then it was the holidays and children departed at full volume for their Yule holiday.