Chapter Eight: Complications
It's been about two weeks since Jeremy took me on our first date and surprisingly we have become extremely close. I lay in bed thinking about the time we've spent together and smile to myself. I stretch and decide to get up and make breakfast. It's Saturday morning and for the first time in two weeks I'll be spending the weekend alone since Jeremy has business to tend to out-of-town. After I finish with my breakfast I decide to tidy up my apartment. While cleaning and organizing my closet I come across the t-shirt I bought for Billy and my good mood vanishes. As I predicted Jeremy is able to prevent me from thinking about Billy most of the time. Only when I'm dreaming does he cross my mind. I sit and stare at the shirt contemplating weather or not to send it to him. I'm unsure since he hasn't tried calling me for some time. I pray he isn't making a mess of his life because of me. I don't know if sending him this shirt will make things better or worse. I need to let him know that I do miss him. Yes I think I will send it to him today I just need to find the right words to send with it. Then my phone rings bringing me back to reality. "Hello," I answer without checking who it is.
"Hey Jane, sorry I haven't called you in a while," I hear Ben's voice on the other side. "I've just been so busy with school and the wedding I haven't had time," I can tell he's smiling by the sound of his voice.
"That's fine, I completely understand. I've been pretty busy myself lately. It sounds like things are going well for you," I reply happy that Ben has found love.
"Yeah things here are almost perfect. Time seems to be going by so quickly. That's the main reason I'm calling you. I finally have Rita's measurements for her dress," he says.
Almost perfect, I wonder what he means by that. I think to myself as Ben gives me the measurements. "Okay, so is there anything specific that Ms. Shaw wants done to her dress," I ask.
"No she knows that you will make it perfect for her," he answers.
He gets oddly quiet after that which makes me feel uneasy for some reason. "Something's up isn't it Ben? What aren't you telling me," I ask him nervously.
"I really don't want to tell you this, but I think we're losing Billy. I mean he's stopped coming to school, he barely ever comes around here anymore and every time I see him it seems like he's always drunk. I just don't know what to do to bring him back to himself. I'm really worried about him Jane," Ben explains to me.
"It doesn't sound good does it? I was actually thinking about mailing him something. Do you think it would be a good idea," I ask wanting his opinion more than anything.
He's silent for a moment then answers, "I think that you should. Maybe that will make him happy to know that you still think of him. Maybe it will make him see sense."
"You're right I think I'll send it out today. And Monday I'll get started on Rita's dress," I tell him.
"Wonderful! Well I have to get going I'll talk to you soon," he bids me farewell.
Right, now I need to find the perfect thing to say to Billy. I pace around my apartment wracking my brain trying to find the right words to send to him. I sit down at my desk and take out a sheet of paper.
Dear Billy,
First off let me start by telling you how sorry I am for leaving you without so much as a goodbye. It was very selfish and extremely unkind of me. I just want to tell you that you are not the reason I left. I had a lot on my mind what with Gray firing me and I just had to get away. Jeremy offered me a job that I couldn't deny. I know that's no excuse for leaving like I did, but I wasn't thinking clearly. Also the reason I haven't taken any of your calls is that I know you would have talked me into coming back, but I have to do this to see how far my talent will take me. I hope you are able to understand why I did this and I hope that one day you can forgive me. Here is a little something to show you that I still think of you and that I miss you everyday. Please stay safe and by the way…get your butt back to school you don't want to ruin your life-like that.
Always Thinking of You,
Janie
I re-read the letter a few times and nod my head with satisfaction. Perfect! I hope this does some good and that he'll accept my apology. I load everything in the package and quickly scribble the address on it. I make my way to my post box only to hesitate putting it in. Why am I so nervous? Get a grip Jane. With that thought I place the package in the box. I head back to my apartment feeling a little better when I receive a text from Jeremy.
To: Jane
You know I'm finding it extremely hard to concentrate without you here with me.
I smile as I read it and text him back.
To: Jeremy
Aw, that's so sweet.
I have to admit I'm missing your company as well.
When do you think you'll be back?
I would really like you to help me with Rita's wedding dress.
To: Jane
Well I'm glade you are feeling the same way I am.
I should arrive back home early tomorrow evening.
I would be more than delighted to work on anything with you when I return.
Maybe I'll stop and pick us up some dinner on my way back.
To Jeremy:
That would be most appreciated.
I think I'll go ahead and get started just to make time go by faster.
I can't wait to see you.
To: Jane
I'll be counting the seconds, love.
See you soon.
I shut my phone ending our conversation and I realize I have a ridiculous smile plastered all over my face. I'm so glade I decided to give us a chance. He's been so wonderful to me even before I came to London. I don't know why I've never noticed it before. I think to myself as I take a seat at my desk and take out a fresh sketch pad to start on Rita's dress. I work on it well into the nigh only stopping to eat or use the restroom. I decide that I need to get some sleep so I make my way off to bed. Even though Jeremy keeps my mind off of Billy my dreams are still haunted by him after all this time.
I awake around noon the next day. Wow I must have been more tired than I thought I was. I think to myself as I stretch out my stiff muscles. I do my normal morning routine and then take a seat at my desk once more continuing my work. When I finish I have a gorgeous, Hollywood glamour gown that is an A-line cut with a chapel train and a low, draped back. I decide that I want to make it completely out of silk and I am very happy with the end results.
I look at the time and realize that Jeremy should be home any minute. With that thought I hear a knock on my door. I open it and there is Jeremy holding up take-out bags with a big smile on his face. I let him enter and he places the food down on the table before returning to me. He takes me in his arms and dips me low bringing his lips down to mine. I kiss him back this time and again I feel that tiny spark inside me. He brings me back to standing position, but still holds me close and I ask, "You didn't miss me or anything did you?"
He chuckles and replies, "More than you'll ever know."
I smile warmly at him and say, "I missed you too, now shall we eat I'm starving?" We take our seats and dig in as I enjoy listening to Jeremy tell me all about his trip. After we eat our fill I ask him if he would like to take a look at my design.
"Jane this is absolutely brilliant. I knew you wouldn't need my help designing it," he says praising my work.
"I guess, but I still like getting your opinion on it, and I still need you to help me make it," I say in return.
We spend the next few weeks together after work piecing it together. We finally finish it and I call Ben to let him know. "Hey I just wanted to tell you that the dress is done. All that's left to do is the fitting," I tell him.
"That's great Jane, wow you work fast. I've been meaning to tell you that Rita asked me to ask you if you would come in and handle her fitting personally. She doesn't trust anyone else to do it plus it would be nice to see you," he says and I can hear the pleading in his voice.
My heart shoots down to my stomach at the thought of going home. What if I run into Billy? What am I suppose to say to him? I know he must have received his package, but I haven't heard anything from him. On the other hand Rita is the bride and I want to make sure she's happy and it would be nice to see Ben. I guess I'll just have to suck it up and go. I let out a sigh and answer, "Fine."
"Thank you Jane, it means a lot to both of us. So when should I tell her you'll be here," he asks brightly.
"It'll have to wait until the weekend. I'll try and get Friday off, but no promises," I answer.
"Great just let me know. I'll see you this weekend," he says.
"Oh and Ben, please don't tell Billy about this okay," I tell him.
"Alright," is all he says as he ends our call.
As I close my phone Jeremy enters the room and I plant a fake smile on my face. "So what did your brother have to say," he asks as he comes closer with two glasses of wine in hands.
"Well, it looks like I'll be needing to buy a plane ticket tomorrow," I tell him pretending I'm excited.
I notice his face fall slightly as he asks, "What do you mean?"
"Rita wants me to be there for her fitting just in case something needs altered. She doesn't want anyone else working on it," I answer.
He hands me a glass of wine and shakes off whatever is bothering him. Smiling he says, "Well I believe this is a cause for celebration. We finished the dress and now you get to see your brother. When do you want to leave?"
I take a sip from my glass and answer, "I was hoping to leave Friday morning and return early Sunday evening if my hard ass boss will give me the day off."
He laughs at my comment and says, "I don't think you have to worry about him. Besides you're partner in this so you get to do as you wish."
"Well then I guess I'll be leaving Friday morning. Oh there is something I wanted to ask you," I say coyly.
He looks up at me quizzically, "What's that?"
"I was just wondering if you would like to join me this weekend. You know, formally meet my brother and all that good stuff," I ask genuinely.
I notice his eyes widen in shock as he answers, "Really, you want me to come with you? That would be amazing I would love to." The next day we buy our tickets and head back to my home town. We arrive in the early evening and take a taxi to my house.
Ben greets us on the front porch, "Jane it's so great to see you. I've actually kind of missed you." He gives me a big bear hug and then releases me to shake Jeremy's hand. "Jeremy isn't it? It's nice to meet you. I take it that you've been taking good care of my little sister," he asks slightly over protective.
"I most certainly have been. She's actually been my savior with my fashion line. I don't know what I would do without her," he replies looking at me admiringly.
I see that Ben takes notice and I tell him, "Ben please be nice to my boyfriend."
I watch as both their mouths hang open in surprise. I never got around to telling Ben about our relationship and I have never verbally acknowledged Jeremy as my boyfriend to anyone. Ben recovers first and says, "Boyfriend, is that so? Well then you better really take care of her now and don't even think about breaking her heart or you'll have me to deal with."
"Believe me Ben I wouldn't dream of hurting her. If anyone is going to break a heart she will break mine because I don't plan on going anywhere," he tells Ben as he takes my hand.
Wow this is getting awkward. I think to myself before asking, "Where's Rita?" With that question my brothers' attitude changes.
"She's inside, come on she has been dying to see you and her dress," he answers happily as he leads us into the house.
"Rita," I exclaim when I see her as I run and give her a hug.
"Hello Jane, I'm so happy you're here. How was your flight," she says with a smile hugging me back.
"It was fine. So tell me would you like to see your dress," I ask.
"I thought you'd never ask," she replies while I lead her into my bedroom.
"You two stay out here and play nice. Ben that means you," I yell over my shoulder as I close my door. When I turn to face Rita all the old memories of Billy and me come flooding back. My heart sinks to the floor as I think of him.
"Are you alright Jane," she asks me concerned at how fast my mood changed.
"Yes, of course I am," I reply unconvincingly.
"It's Billy isn't it," she says knowing me too well. "Ben told me everything that happened between you two," she admits.
"It's just been really hard without him in my life. I miss him more than words can say. It really doesn't matter though. He has Zoe and I'm with Jeremy," I tell her.
"That may be so, but are you in love with Jeremy," she asks.
I look down a little ashamed as I say, "He keeps me from thinking about Billy and he loves me."
"You didn't answer my question," she replies sternly.
I sigh, "No I don't, but maybe one day I can."
Rita sits down on my bed and gestures for me to sit next to her. "Jane I really hate to tell you this, but what you're doing to that man is wrong. I understand that it's hard for you to see Billy with someone else, but using Jeremy to help you heel will not make you love Billy any less. Those feelings will never go away. To be completely honest as strong as your love is for him I don't think your heart has any room for Jeremy," she says.
"So what am I suppose to do," I ask hopelessly.
"I believe in my heart that you should go and talk to Billy. Tell him how you really feel. You'll never know the truth about how he feels until you talk to him. I know it will be hard for you, but if he returns your affections you can't keep stringing Jeremy along. You owe that much to them and to yourself," she advises me.
I contemplate what she says and decide she's right in more ways than one. I tell her that I'll talk to Billy tonight and change the subject to her dress. I carefully take it out of the garment bag and watch as her face lights up with joy. "Jane this is the most beautiful dress I have ever seen. It's perfect, thank you," she says as tears of happiness fall down her cheeks. All I can do is smile at her as I hand her the dress. I exit my room giving her some privacy to try it on. I turn and look at Jeremy, who is smiling up at me from the couch and a wave of guilt rolls through my body.
Does she like it," he asks happily.
"She loves it," is all I say.
We finish her fitting within an hour. The sleeves were slightly too long, but other than that it fit her perfectly. Rita decides to make dinner for all of us. We sit around the table laughing and joking like a normal family would. I help Rita clear the table and we make our way into the kitchen to wash the dishes. "So are you still going to talk to Billy tonight? If you are I'll cover for you," she asks me not taking her eyes off the soapy water before her.
"Um…I think I'm going to wait until tomorrow. It was such a nice evening, I don't want to ruin it," I admit to her. With that she quickly changes the subject back to the wedding plans.
It is starting to get late so we all decide to go to bed. "I like you and all Jeremy, but you will be sleeping out here on the couch," I hear my brother's voice coming from the living room.
"I wouldn't dream of sleeping anywhere else," he replies. I just shake my head and roll my eyes as I change into my pajamas.
I walk back out into the living room and say my goodnight to everyone. I give Jeremy a quick peck on his cheek and notice the disapproving looks on Ben and Rita's faces. I head back into my room and shut the door behind me.
I know what I'm doing is wrong, but Jeremy soothes the pain in my heart. I don't want to hurt him by telling him he has no chance of winning my love like Billy. I knew coming back here was a bad idea, but I had no clue it would make me feel so guilty. I turn the lights out and lay in bed mauling over my thoughts. Eventually I fall asleep only to be awoken by someone climbing into bed with me. I shoot upright in bed and now I'm face to face with the one person I've been dreading and longing to see. "Billy," I whisper in astonishment.
"Jane," he replies coldly.
"What are you doing here," I ask still trying to recover from the shock.
"I didn't expect you to be here," there's no warmth in his voice.
We sit in silence for a few moments before I can manage to find my voice, "Billy I'm so…"
"Save it Jane," he cuts me off.
"Did you get my letter," is the only thing I could think to say.
He chuckles at me with no humor and his warm breath hits my face. It's only then that I detect the smell of alcohol. "Yeah, I got your pathetic little letter. Do you really that it would fix us? What you did to me is unforgivable. You were suppose to be my best friend and for you to put me through that…I can barely stand to look at you," his words cut me like a knife.
"Billy I don't…," I try to say, but get cut off once more.
"Jesus, Jane I was in love with you. Then you just disappear into thin air leaving me to think that I was the reason for it. I know you didn't leave just because Gray fired you. You kissed me back that day at the falls. I know you felt something and then poof you're gone. Look I have to go I shouldn't have come here," I hear the sorrow and bitterness in his voice.
With tears running freely down my face I grab his arm, "Billy, please."
He pulls his arm out of my hand and shouts, "The time for talking is over!" He quickly grabs me up in his arms and kisses me roughly trailing his lips up and down my neck and back to my face. He releases me and pushes me down onto my bed and says, "I'm over this!"
As he turns to leave Ben, Rita and Jeremy barge into my room. Ben turns on the light and immediately Jeremy notices I'm crying. Oh this is going to be bad. I think to myself right before Jeremy yells, "What the bloody hell did you do to her!" Jeremy lunges for Billy, but Ben is there to stop him.
"This is who you settle for, I should have known," Billy snaps as he exits through my window.
After all that drama I am so grateful to be back in London, but now my wounds from Billy are fresh and my attitude towards Jeremy has changed. He's been nothing but nice and understanding throughout the ordeal, yet I can't stand him touching me. Everything that Billy had said and did to me is playing over and over in my mind. He said he was in love with me. To think if I would have stayed things would be so different, I would be truly happy. I am so miserable I never want to leave my bed again. I have to fix this. With that thought I drift off to sleep and dream of what could have been.
Monday morning comes and goes in a blur. I find myself unable to concentrate on anything. "Jane…Jane," Jeremy's voice brings me back to the present.
"Sorry, what did you say," I ask him in a daze.
"I was just telling you that I have to leave town again on business tomorrow. I am also planning on giving you the rest of the week off. You really haven't been yourself since we got back and I think you need a break," he tells me.
"I know, I'm sorry I just have a lot on my mind," I answer sadly.
He smiles at me knowingly and says, "It's okay love, I understand. That's why I'm giving you some time off. When I get back on Friday I really need you with me to start these new designs."
The next morning Jeremy comes to my apartment to tell me goodbye. He kisses me on the cheek and I notice the spark is gone. "I need you to get some rest, okay? Also while I'm gone would you please check my mail for me? You can put it on my table in the kitchen. Here's the key to my apartment and I'll call you when I arrive at the hotel," he says handing me his key.
"Sure, have a safe trip," I say giving him a halfhearted smile.
By Thursday I'm starting to feel a little like my old self again. After I eat my breakfast and take a shower I decide to collect Jeremy's mail. I head down to his box and grab the mail making my way back up to his apartment. I open the door and place his mail on the kitchen table when I hear a clatter come from his bedroom. "Hello," I say thinking maybe he came back early, but there is no answer. I shrug it off and start for the door when I hear it again.
Curiosity gets the better of me and I head into his room. "Hello is anyone here," I ask as I look around his room. Then I see what's making all the noise and my blood runs cold. Sitting in the corner chair is a disheveled India. She looks awful, nothing like the woman I use to know. Her clothes are a mess like she's been wearing them for weeks and her hair is greasy. My goodness what happened to her? Why is she here? I think to myself not moving any closer. "India what are you doing here? How did you get in," I ask nervously.
A cruel smile spreads across her face as she says, "Well, well if it isn't the little bitch that ruined my life."
I'm a little taken back by her words, but I ask, "How did I ruin your life?"
Her expression is one of hate as she answers, "After you were fired Gray went nuts. Nothing I did was good enough. She was always comparing my work with yours. Eventually the company failed and Gray of course blamed me. Now I can't get work anywhere. To top it all off you are doing the job that Jeremy promised me and you are with him when it should be me. Perfect little Jane, what the hell does he see in you anyway? You are just a child, why does he choose you over me?" She rises from her seat and I notice the glint of a pistol in her dirty hand.
I am frozen with fear and yet I still manage to ask, "How is all of that my fault?"
"It doesn't matter now. Everything is about to change for both of us. Once you're gone my life will get better. Jeremy with realize that he wants me not you and my life will be wonderful once more," she says as she raises the gun in my direction.
"India, please…," I whisper in fear.
"Goodbye Jane," she says smiling wickedly. I turn to run and I hear a loud pop there's a sharp pain and then there is nothing but darkness.
Authors Note: Well I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you think. Also I just wanted to say thank you to those of you that have left me reviews it means a lot and makes me want to continue writing. The next chapter will however be from Billy's point of view. Much Love.
