Minutes passed and still neither of the men spoke. Jim wasn't going to let Spock leave until he knew what was wrong. Spock seemed to know this, because he didn't make any attempt to leave. Either that, or Spock didn't want to go. Yeah right, Jim thought, wishful thinking.

Spock stood up suddenly and started blowing candles out around the room. He put them back in his bag, and returned to where he was previously sitting. He was still for a moment, and then spoke.

"Whether you require an apology or not, I am sorry for my reaction to the meditation. I should not have suggested you participation."

"I don't care about that, Spock." Jim told him gently.

"I could have hurt you." Spock replied with an angry glare.

"But you didn't." He countered "I want to know what's wrong, what had you so freaked out?"

"I am not-"

"Don't deny it Spock, I can help." Jim interrupted, and Spock paused, thinking.

"If I tell you my issues, will you allow me to assist you with yours?"

"Yes, now tell me what's going on." Spock was silent. "Tell me what you saw when you were meditating."

"I saw what I see every time I try to meditate. You, lying dead in front of my eyes, yet out of my reach." Spock whispered. Jim's heart skipped a beat at the confession.

"Oh." Was all he could say. He knew Spock cared about him, that much was obvious. But he didn't think his death was an issue for Spock a year later. Neither of them spoke for a while. Jim was trying to think of something, anything to say that would reassure the Vulcan.

"Spock." He said quietly "How long has this been going on for?"

"Since the beginning of this mission. I- I've been having dreams all year, however I believe being back on the ship has triggered the disruption of my meditation." His voice was still laced with emotion, which bad as it may seem, Jim counted as a plus. At least he knew Spock was being honest with him.

"Why didn't you say something?" Jim implored.

"I suspect for the same reasons you did not inform me of your problems." Spock replied in an accusing tone. Fair enough, Jim thought. He sighed and dragged his hand through his hair in frustration. Spock was staring at him with a confused expression on his face. It was weird for Jim, seeing the Vulcan so emotional and illogical. It was everything Spock strived to avoid. But he was letting Jim see him this way. Jim shuffled over the floor to sit next to him, both leaning against the sofa.

"We're really messed up." He stated after a moment. They both looked at each other for a beat. Then Spock's face broke into a small, genuine smile. And Jim couldn't help it, he started laughing. Not particularly at anything, maybe the situation in general. He laughed and laughed. He hadn't laughed like this in a year. When he calmed down, he saw Spock was watching him with a wide grin on his face. Jim suspected this was the closest thing Spock had ever gotten to laughing. Jim was grateful to be here, witnessing it.

"What are we going to do with ourselves?" Jim asked, smile still in place. Spock just shrugged, which sent him into another fit of giggles. Until Spock grabbed his hand.

His laugh was cut off with a gasp. Jim wasn't stupid, he knew what hand holding meant to Vulcan's.

"Jim." Spock breathed whilst studying his hand. Jim had to admit, he liked this knew, emotional Spock. A lot.

Spock was stroking Jim's fingers, and finally looked up. Jim stared at Spock for a few moments, and thought, fuck it.

He leaned forwards, and gently pressed his lips to Spock's, who instantly started to kiss Jim back. He was (of course) perfect at kissing, like he was everything else. It started soft and chaste, but quickly turned desperate.

They broke apart a minute later, Jim panting heavily and Spock only looking a bit ruffled. At some point, Jim had run his hand through Spock's hair, messing up the Vulcan's perfectly angled 'do. He looked adorable with his hair sticking up every which way, and a dark green blush on his cheeks and ears. Not the mention the tiny smirk playing across his lips.

Their hands were still connected, and Jim felt a shiver go through Spock's arm. He never knew Vulcan hands were this sensitive.

Fascinating.

Spock made a small noise in his throat, and let go. Damn touch-telepathy. Jim bit his lip, not knowing what to say. Spock seemed to be in the same predicament.

"That was good." Jim said, which was an understatement.

"For me also." Spock told him. He then cupped Jim's cheek and brought their lips together again. This time it was much softer. Spock broke away again, and rested their foreheads together, so they were breathing the same air, and looking directly into each other's eyes. Somehow, this was more intimate than the kissing, like Spock just wanted to be close to him. A zing of happiness shot through him at the thought, and Spock's breath hitched slightly.

"You can sense it can't you? How I feel?" Jim breathed.

"Yes." He whispered back, lacing their fingers together again. "Does that make you uncomfortable?"

Jim leaned back, looking at Spock.

"No." he replied honestly. "Does it make you uncomfortable?

"No I-" Spock hesitated "I like it. It makes me…happy."

Jim's eyes widened at the confession. Spock hardly ever acknowledges his emotions, much less admit to them.

"Well, I'm happy that it makes you happy." Jim said sincerely. Spock leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

"I think it would be prudent if I left now. You need rest."

Disappointment flared in Jim's gut, and Spock must have felt it.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Jim asked, and the Vulcan did his signature eyebrow raise. "Not to have sex or anything, I just think it would be better if I had someone…if I had you there, for the nightmares?"

Spock seemed to be thinking about his offer.

"If you wish it Jim." He finally said, and Jim grinned.

They both made their way to the bedroom, and stripped down to their boxers. It took every ounce of self-control Jim possessed not to touch the Vulcan. It seemed Spock had the same problem, judging by how many times he glanced over at Jim's naked chest. He rolled his eyes internally at himself for thinking this was a good idea. If he was honest with himself, he really did want Spock here. He was sick of having to deal with the nightmares himself. He had seen Spock completely break down tonight, so he knew the Vulcan wouldn't go running for the metaphorical hills if Jim did the same.

The two men crawled under the sheets and lay side by side, but not touching. Jim knew not to snuggle up to the Vulcan, but he couldn't help brushing their fingers together.

"Goodnight Spock."

"Goodnight Jim."

Jim fell asleep listening to the sound of Spock's breathing beside him.