When Kurt woke up with pointy ears and a tail, both lightly furred in orange-and-black calico, he freaked out. "Dad! Dad!"
"What's wrong?" Burt asked as he burst into the room, knocking the door off its hinges and scratching the paint with his claws.
Wait, claws?
"Dad!" Kurt cried, backing up a little. "You're a bear!"
"I am?" Burt asked, looking down at his paws and turning them over.
"Well, sort of," Kurt replied, taking a better look at his dad. "You've got the bear-paws and ears," he said, carefully walking around Burt, "and your back is seriously furry, from what I can see."
"You're one to talk," Burt pointed out, just as someone came galloping through the hallway.
"Guys!" Finn cried, startling a hiss out of Kurt and almost getting swiped with the pin-sharp claws Kurt apparently had now. "Guys, I have a tail! And ears!"
"What are you?" Kurt asked, eyeing his step-brother's floppy ears and wagging tail. "A golden retriever?"
"You changed, too?" Finn cried, looking both Hummels up and down before running off again, calling, "Mom! Mom, what are you?"
Kurt and Burt looked at each other for half a moment before tearing after him, finding Carole still in bed, her ears rounded and covered in black fur. Her hands looked the same as Kurt's dad's, only black, so Kurt concluded, "Carole! You're a bear too!"
"I'm what?" she groaned, blinking in the morning light. "Guys, I got home late from my shift, could you just … keep it down? I feel like I could sleep for three months."
Kurt snickered behind his hand, thinking it was pretty romantic the way his dad and Carole matched in whatever crazy change that had happened overnight. He wondered if it was just his family who'd changed or if it was everyone, so he cried, "I gotta call Mercedes," and ran back toward his room.
His phone was ringing before he could pick it up, so as soon as he connected Mercedes' call, he asked, "Did it happen to you, too?"
"Baby boy!" Mercedes cried, almost deafening Kurt. Geez, he would have to get used to having better hearing. "I'm, like, a tiger-woman or something!"
"Are you sure you're not a house-cat," Kurt asked, "like me? Oh, and Finn's a golden retriever."
"Nah," she insisted. "I'm full on orange-and-black stripes, Kurt. And I'm pretty sure my dad's a gorilla."
"It's happening everywhere, then," Kurt mused. "Call everyone. Get them to meet outside McKinley. I'll bring Finn."
"You got it."
Everyone had changed. Tina and Mike were both some sort of gazelle, with tiny spiral horns on their heads and ears that would flick when you touched them. Rachel was a bird and the coloring reminded Kurt of a chickadee – a tiny little bird singing the same song over and over. Sam was a yellow lab to Finn's retriever and Santana was some sort of bitch – literally. Lauren had a big tail covered in green crocodile scales that looked more deadly than the sharp teeth in her mouth. Artie reminded Kurt of an owl. Quinn had big, white wings and white feathers mixed in with her blonde hair, so everyone decided she was a swan. And Brittany had to be a dolphin, with that fin on her back and her smooth, gray skin that she kept slathering with moisturizer.
People other than the glee club started showing up. Jacob was some sort of lizard. Azimio was even more hunched into himself than normal and appeared to have armadillo armor-plates all down his back and whip-thin tail. Karofsky had big ram's horns growing out of his head. Brett's hands resembled those of a three-toed sloth. Anthony Rashad was a lion.
"Has anyone seen Puck?" Finn asked, looking around the growing group of people (which also included sugar-glider Ms. Pillsbury and longhorn Coach Beiste). "Do you think he's okay?" Finn asked, his ears close to his head and his tail between his legs. "What if he turned into a shark and drowned on dry land?"
"I'll take you over there," Kurt offered, waving goodbye to his friends who were also dispersing now that school had been canceled on account of Principal Figgins' inability to run the school with cloven hooves for hands. Kurt had to be careful how he sat down in his car now that he had a tail, but at least his was flexible, unlike Finn's, which had Finn sitting on one cheek for the whole ride so he wouldn't break anything.
At Puck's house, Kurt rang the doorbell while Finn knocked on the door. When no one answered, Finn tried the door and found it unlocked, letting himself in and waving Kurt to follow him. Taking a deep breath, Finn said, "I think he's still here. Upstairs, I guess. He smells …" Finn twitched and sort of turned back toward the door before changing his mind again. "Maybe you should go up there."
Kurt didn't know if Finn though Puck was dangerous or what, since he couldn't smell anything new, but he wasn't about to back down and leave a fellow glee club member confused and alone, so he made his way up the stairs, calling, "Puck? Puck, it's me, Kurt. Finn's here, too. Listen, we look a little different, so don't freak out, okay?"
"What?" Puck's voice called roughly. "It's not just my family?"
Kurt followed the sound of Puck's voice into what was obviously his bedroom and found a lump hiding under the covers. "Where is your family?" Kurt asked gently, crouching down next to the bed and trying to keep his tail still so it wouldn't knock anything over.
"Sarah grew fur all over and this really long monkey-tail and my mom has scales," Puck mumbled. "I told them I was fine."
"But you're not, are you?" Kurt said gently. "C'mon. I won't laugh. Let me see."
Puck sighed and threw back the covers, hissing with sharp teeth when his gray tabby-colored tail got caught up in them. His ears were pointy, just like Kurt's, and the claws of one hand were buried into his mattress, like he was holding on for dear life. Looking up at Kurt, Puck realized, "Hey, you're just like me."
"I'd like to think I wear the ears better," Kurt preened with a smile, "but yes, we both appear to be cats. Finn, Sam and Santana are all dogs, Quinn's a swan, Britt's a dolphin – everyone's changed. It's not just you."
Puck nodded, working his claws out of the mattress by retracting them and then reaching forward to touch one of Kurt's ears. He'd gotten used to it with the others – everyone had been pawing everyone else to make sure it was real – so Kurt let Puck finger his ear before scratching the base. Kurt groaned a little bit at the warm, heavy feeling, closing his eyes and leaning toward Puck's touch. Puck chuckled softly and said, "You know, you're kinda cute like this."
Kurt opened his eyes and put up one of his hands, saying, "Be careful, Puckerman, 'cause this kitty has claws."
Puck smirked, his sharp eyeteeth just barely showing. "That could be interesting."
