Once or twice a week marked how often the Bennet sisters walked to Meryton before the arrival of the Red Coats. With the arrival of the Red Coats they turned into four visits a week. I lingered back with Mary whenever Kitty, Lydia, Elizabeth, and Jane would call upon their aunt.

" Will the gentleman call upon us today?" Mary asked me as she settled at the pianoforte. She played at least twice a day in between studies of drawing techniques and painting with a tutor that Mrs. Bennet recently employed in response to my added presence at Longbourn.

I snorted. " Every Wednesday they call upon us, and this is Wednesday," I settled down with a book in Mr. Bennet's chair and curled my feet beneath me.

She glanced over her shoulder. " Mr. Booth will travel to the recruiting station this coming Monday,"

" I am sorry to hear that, Mary. At the very least his contract is not for life,"

" If he survives," She picked her favorite piece, a concerto that she played technically well. " I fear my long engagement will be cut short by death's early knocking,"

I sincerely feared for her emotional well being. Wait! Did she just say 'engagement'? " He offered?" I barely trusted the words I just spoke.

" Yes. In the garden while Mr. Brooks tended to your wind blown bonnet,"

I laughed, remembering that day. The wind hooked my loose bonnet and sent it down the lane. Mr. Brooks chased down gallantly. Yet not even Miss Austen could be as disappointed as I was to have missed the proposal. " What did he say? I must know," My revolving library book no longer interested me.

She motioned me over with a hand. I hopped to my slippered feet without hesitation and advanced to her side. " He said and I quote ' You are the jewel of Hertfordshire, Mary, and I am privileged to hold your adoration and affections. My only regret is that I will not know you as my wife before I earn my living as a true man,"

My palms pressed together. " There's more?" I asked giddily, unaware and uncaring of Mrs. Hill eavesdropping in the doorway with the tray of hot water and milk for our tea.

Mary held up a hand to silence me. " It would console my split heart to know that our hands are joined as betrothed halves to a beloved whole. Will you honor me?" She ended with full flourish, clutching her folded hands over her chest.

" Miss Mary Bennet!" I pulled Mary into a big hug and squeezed. Mrs. Hill set down the tray and almost tip toed out unnoticed until Mrs. Bennet intervened.

" Hill, I need you to clean Jane's dress - the one that is fitted to her bosom perfectly. Mr. Bingley must draw his gaze to it if we are to expect a marriage,"

" Yes, Ma-am," Mary and I both let each other go to investigate the particular manner in which Mrs. Bennet addressed her housekeepers. To those not in the know, housekeepers were always called Mrs. whether they were married or not. To call Mrs. Hill by her last name alone was not only insulting but disrepecting her distinguished position among servants.

Neither of us moved for fear we be heard so we strained to listen further.

" Lucy is to tend to my girls before Miss Banfield. It is hard enough she is sneaking off Mr. Brooks,"

Mary cocked a brow up at me. Our elation at her engagement withered and died as we heard all. My hand tightened on her shoulder. How can I sneak off a willing suitor who approached me even though he had already been well acquainted with the Bennets? Obviously he wanted the 4,000 pounds or he liked our growing bond.

" Yes, Ma-am," Mrs. Hill answered with even less pleasantness.

Another brief pause. " Mr. Bennet will hire a new housekeeper if I must remind you again that my girls are on a higher level. They are here and Miss Banfield is here," No doubt she put me much lower than her daughters.

Another " Yes, Ma-am," and Mrs. Bennet released the house keeper to go about her duties. Mrs. Bennet walked past the drawing room ignorant of it being occupied.

Mary shook my arm. I snapped out of it and glanced down. " Mama is mean spirited but you are not," I don't know what she expected of me. I wasn't a crazy axe murdering woman on her period, and I didn't know the first thing about poisons. Mrs. Bennet was perfectly safe from my own attempt at her life, but that did not mean I wasn't irritated.

" Oh no, Mary. You are here," I put my left hand above my head. " And I am here," I put my right hand at my waist.

" Caroline-" Mary looked like she wanted to cry but I didn't care!

" No," I stepped back and breathed. " Stop apologizing and brushing over how bitter and put out your mother is. Once I am five and twenty, the 200 per annum will support me. Until then I am bound to whatever house Mr. Gardiner sends me to,"

Mary abandoned any recourse.

I stepped back again. " I am retiring to the garden. Do not bother me," I left the room, angry tears rolling down my cheeks.

She stood in the drawing room estranged from the closeness we developed since my arrival. Once in the garden I dropped to my knees in front of the statue and rested my forehead against its weathered exterior. Closing my eyes I recalled my mother's memory and how much I wanted a hug from her right now.
I don't know how long I knelt like that, letting my emotions calm down and pool into a conglomerate of passive-aggressive I-hate-Mrs.-Bennet icy politeness. I didn't even hear anyone approaching. " Am I interrupting?"

" No," I answered Mr. Brooks. I assumed Mr. Booth proceeded inside Longbourn already. " I am vexed with Mrs. Bennet and her snide childish jabs about how I am somehow stealing you from one of her precious daughters,"

His eyes rested on my back and I made no move to shift from my stiff knees.

" Would you wish me to pray with you?"

I glared at him. " God can not fix that...female known as Mrs. Bennet. Hadn't you heard? I'm as well respected as a governess, If that," Jane Austen liberally spared the readers the real Mrs. Bennet. I can only imagine that Caroline Bingley outmatched her or Miss Austen chose to be more honest about Miss Bingley's character.

He stepped two steps closer. " You are crying,"

" No, I'm not. I'm angry." I wiped away the tears with my fingers. That female is undeserving of this home and family. Who is she to treat me as so?"

Mr. Brooks knelt next to me and put aside his bible and prayer book. " She does not know you as I do. Though she may be blind she is wrong still for casting you out. He who casts out the weak and vulnerable are not God's chosen,"

" I'm not cast out yet," I cleared my nose into the hand cloth. " I hate her,"

He rested his palm on my upper back. " We are not divine. To hate another is a failing that should be remedied in time but acceptable given your current circumstances," Did he not understand what it was like to live with someone who hated you? I guess not….

" All will be well," I collected myself in controlled stoicness and stood, my dress stained from the grass and dirt where I knelt.

Mr. Brooks tipped his hat to the manservant cleaning Mr. Bennet's study window above. We stood like that several minutes before he held out his hand to me. I took it in mine and allowed myself to be embraced. " What are you thinking?" He stroked the back of my neck patiently, like a mother to a child.

" I have a secret, Mr. Brooks,"

" We all do," His secrets could never best mine.

" Do you care for me?" I braved direct eye contact, losing myself in his eyes and possibly his kind soul.

His hands cupped my face. " Yes,"

I took a deep breath, ready to expose my future life to him in intimate detail. What blurted out was the exact opposite. " My mother was hung for trying to kill me after my father died. I am without support if the Gardiners withdraw it. At only 19 I am vulnerable,"

His thumb trailed down my neck as his hands moved to my shoulders. I bet that even this was scandalous behavior for the times, yet I needed his touch to soothe my hurt pride and wounded heart. I understood I wasn't a Bennet or a Jane or Elizabeth or a Lydia, but I was still a guest! " What do you will of me?"

Marry me. Love me. Come back to the future with me. Practice your sermons on me in the privacy of a parsonage that we can share as lovers. That's what I wanted. " I worry that Mrs. Bennet will try to ruin me to give her daughter's an advantage,"

" I will not permit that," He gave his word. " My lips to God's ear, I will never permit it,"

I choked on gratitude and a multitude of other nameless emotions. This provoked him to pull me into his arms and hold me there. Lydia and Kitty stopped in the garden gate to gape while Jane poorly attempted to shoo them on. Only after Elizabeth followed behind Jane did the entire group move forward toward the main entrance of Longbourn.

" We are ruined," He said in mock horror. " How will our secret ever be kept with so many loose lips,"

I buried my face in his shoulder and held onto him, grateful that he was my rock in this storm. Had I looked up I would have seen him just as contented, and cosmically I'm certain somewhere there was a mad god cackling as he set the random dice into play.

" Captain Carter is a gentleman from the North and his family owns a textile mill," Kitty shared with everyone at the dining table that evening. I moved the food around my plate with a spoon, thinking of my future and how glacierly slow my courtship with Mr. Brooks moved. We rarely saw each other in person though he did write very pretty, flowing letters often delivered in the evening after a meal. His turn of phrase was poetic and romantically inclined, even when he did throw in a biblical verse as guidance or advice.

Lydia blushed. " Mm,"

I lifted the head at the mention of my name. " You have no interest in the Regiment?"

I stopped pushing the food around. " The militia are filled with young men making a living. A dock worker earns more than they do by at least 21 shillings. Captain Carter might be the exception to the rule, but most men will try to marry their fortune," Tis how it worked in these times. Even in Sense and Sensibility, Marianne got the shaft for being poor, though had Willoughby actually not impregnated a certain lady his aunt would not have disinherited him but that is beside the point.

Elizabeth tried to determine why I turned combative and when an explanation eluded her, she turned to her mother. " Mama, they will march through Meryton as a company,"

" You must attend. More Captain Carters could mean more husbands," Yet she discouraged my likely marriage to the Parson. How awfully convenient of her to switch sides. I finally started to eat my meal, because I did not wish to insult the cook. The cook was a very kind lady and I adored her.

Mr. Bennet's attentions focused on me while his wife and daughters launched into a full scale report of the regiment's officers and their familial connections. " Mr. Brooks visited today,"

" As did Mr. Booth," I did not see or speak to Mr. Booth and I doubted he would survive his career with the Regulars, but I did wish him well in all his pursuits for Mary's sake. The poor girl might not fall in love again if her first love died on a battlefield.

He stirred his coffee. " Yes, but Mr. Brooks asked for my permission before departing,"

" To offer?" Mr. Bennet nodded in answer to my question. " And this is to be a surprise when he does offer?" Mr. Bennet nodded again, and our small exchange effectively silenced all of the table.

Jane broke it. " The emerald gown would be an excellent wedding gown,"

Then the damn let loose. " Mr. Bennet, you'll need to commission new dresses for all the girls!"

" Oh please, Papa!" Lydia and Kitty cried out together.

Elizabeth nodded her congratulations, and yet none of them actually acknowledged that Mr. Brooks did not offer to me yet and until he did I was still residing at Longbourn. Only Mary appeared distraught.

" I would gladly welcome visitors," I said directly to Mary. She looked up from the loaned book on architecture from Sir William Lucas.

Mrs. Bennet did not give up her mission of securing new dresses for her daughters and Lydia and Kitty only badgered Mr. Bennet into his study while Elizabeth and Jane counted down the time until their mother increased the pressure for them to marry as well. Mary latched herself onto me. Jane and Elizabeth seated themselves opposite of me with their needlepoint. They were as talented as Kitty with a needle and thread. I still failed to even learn the most basic of stitches proficiently.

We formed a protective perimeter against the silliness of Mrs. Bennet, Lydia, and Kitty. Mary kept the architecture book on her lap, and it was the first book aside from Fordyce that I ever witnessed her reading. " If you wear the emerald velvet then you must use a matching reticule and employ a lady maid," Jane advised in a truly lowered voice that the other half of the room would struggle to listen in on effectively.

Me? Employ a servant? " Who would I employ as a lady maid?"

" There are many ladies who would gladly fill the role and well," Elizabeth volunteered. " I'll have my aunt supply you a list of ladies with the ability to arrange hair, keep house, and cook the most basic of food,"

" Since Mr. Brooks lives at the parsonage freely for his services to the church and parish, you will have a wider use for your new found wealth," Jane added, smiling at me. " Have you considered whether you will take up the pianoforte?"

Out of the four of us, only I had nothing to do with my hands. I tucked myself into a ball underneath a cover and let myself drift into the unknown. If I married Mr. Brooks now I would not be around for all the chaos that follows them. I couldn't leave Longbourn and lose my front row seat to the gladiatorial blood, guts, and gore. " I will try to learn it but I am not genteel,"

" What difference does it make if you are genteel? You are marrying Mr. Brooks, who earns 200 per annum," Elizabeth pointed out politely, as if this common knowledge.

I let out a deep breath. At least I wasn't marrying a man living in borderline poverty. I don't think I could live out a future like that in the regency era, especially knowing what the future carried for economic failures within the English society.

Mary nudged me. " Are you well?"

" I don't think we can all act surprised when Mr. Brooks offers," I said honestly before bursting into laughter at the mental image of Mrs. Bennet restraining her wild tongue and loose behavior. This relieved almost everyone, especially Mary.