A random parody of the Walking Dead and the reality TV show 'The Real World.' This is purely for humor and enjoyment and not to be taken seriously.

I do not own the 'Walking Dead' or the 'Real World'.

Rick's Best Friend

Morgan is very particular about his cleaning, and the house is a mess that he can't live in. He decides to tackle the kitchen first. After a while the kitchen is spotless, he'd just finished mopping that last spot on the floor as Rick comes in leaving a trail of muddy foot prints. Dirt covered hand prints smudge every clean surface imaginable, while Rick is ransacking the kitchen for goods.

Morgan growls in a rage and yanks up a knife, "didn't I tell you I needed to clear!" A loud scream is heard in the kitchen from Rick. "You crazy son of a beep!"

Moments later Rick has Hershel patch him up after the stab wound he'd gotten from Morgan. He feels terrible after upsetting his friend and confides in Hershel. "Rick you know how Morgan gets about his cleaning. You should have been more considerate."

"What do you suggest I do?"

"You gotta do something to show him you're sorry, but more importantly that ya care."

Rick is seen with a still bleeding wound in front of Morgan's door, as he keeps his distance form the welcome mat and knocks twice.

Morgan opens the door, he tries to apologize to Rick for stabbing him in the chest that morning, but Rick shh's him before holding up some large white cards, and nodding for Morgan to read them.

'I know you're sorry for stabbing me in the chest'

'but the pain I felt today is nothing compared to...'

'the joy I feel when I'm with you-'

'to me, you are perfect, Morgan Jones.'

With tears in his eyes, Morgan maneuvers around his own welcome mat and embraces Rick who coils back in pain.

"Sorry Rick, I forgot about the wound."

"Naw... no, it's okay... I'll re-bandage it later."

Much later in the day, Shane sneaks out of Rick's room holding a can of shaving cream and what appears to be a used razor blade. He hides the contents in his hands behind his back, avoiding the hallway camera above. Rick wakes up from his nap, he walks to his doorway seeing Andrea and Michonne walking down the hall. As they see him, the two girls halt, Michonne's eyes widen and Andrea's eyes roll into the back of her head just before she falls over. Michonne get down checking on her passed out friend.

"What the hell's going on?" Rick asks alarmed.

Andrea's confessional. "Its the worst thing I've seen happen in this house. He's like 75% less attractive now. I don't know what happened but his entire beard is just gone."

Andrea starts to cry from the terrible loss of Rick's facial hair.

"Thank you" she says as she takes a napkin from the cameraman then blows her nose into the tissue. "Who the hell would do something like that to him?"

Shane's confessional. Footage consists of 30 minuets of Shane cackling.

Hershel badly wants for a return to normalcy. And he's not about to let Beth plan another event, so he takes it upon himself to utilize that swimming pool out back.

Daryl looked at all of the meat in astonishment before looking back at Hershel.

"Where'd yah get all this meat?"

"A nice man named Gareth stopped by and offered it to the group."

Daryl nods then sees Michonne walking by in a tiny white bikini, his eyes practically pop out of his head as he leaves to follow her, right in the middle of Hershel talking.

"Hopefully nothing to bad happens today..." Hershel looks to his left watching Daryl wonder off. "Oh so you just gon' leave in the middle of the conversation like that?"

Andrea and Beth are already in the pool laughing and swatting a volleyball back and forth. Merle comes out and jumps into the pool creating a big splash that soaks Daryl and Michonne in the middle of the younger Dixon laying some southern charm on his woman.

"Merle!" Daryl yells.

"Sorry baby brother, didn't mean to get your girl wet before you could." As the volleyball comes his way he raises the wrong arm to swat it, and ends up piercing the volleyball with his bayonet blade. "Dammit Merle." Andrea grunts.

Beth looks around, "I can sing y'all another song if you want?"

Everyone screams in unison, "No!"

Hershel is at the grill looking oddly at the formations of meat. He lifts up a large piece that mirrors his forearm. He raises an eyebrow then looks at the other pieces and jumps fishing out a severed hand.

"The meats bad!" Hershel turns back with a yell.

"It tastes fine to me," Merle says chomping down on his piece of meat. "Its a little hard through." Hershel frowns watching Merle devour the unsavory dish.

The camera man follows Michonne entering the house. She strolls into the kitchen, wrapping a towel around her bikini clad body. She sees Rick behind her with his "new look."

"Hey Rick."

"Hey." He says sadly as he's intentionally trying his hardest to hide his face from her, while the camera is zooming in on him.

Michonne could sense that he was still a little low on confidence without the presence of his beard. "Listen, if it means anything, I kinda like you beardless. You look more distinguished." She smiled.

He raises his eyebrows then smiles at her feeling a little more confident. "Thanks Michonne. I don't know what 'd do without you."

"You can do me a favor."

"Anything."

"Get me some candy from Morgan's room, the sweeter the better."

"Alright. I can do that. But only if you share with Carl."

"I will. And I'll save you a piece too." She smiles.

The rest of Andrea's confessional on the beardless Rick issue.

"This hot, sexy, rugged man is just gone and we're left with... I don't even know what he is now. He looks like a beeping backstreet boy!" She cried more, then wipes her tears with an additional napkin.

Rick finally comes out to the gathering at the pool.

Merle cackles seeing his beardless face, "officer friendly you're as slick as a baby seal!"

Shane struts out shirtless and flexing catching Andrea's eye and Merle's scowl. Shane sees Rick and grabs him by the shoulders, "come on Rick lets get in the water, we're gonna play a game." Rick and Shane end up in the pool. Shane suggests they do a breath holding contest under the water. Rick agrees and dunks his head under as does Shane at first, but then he pops up early and forces Rick's head to stay under water as Rick's flailing around out of sight.

Merle chuckles. "Aw lookie Shane tryina drown officer seal."

Shane releases his hands from holding Rick's head under water, catching the sight of producer Martinez. Shane throws his hands up in the air before rubbing his head acting as if he wasn't doing anything. Rick comes up gasping for air and shaking his head. Andrea swims over to Shane, shoving a still struggling Rick out of her way and wraps her arms around Shane from behind as he laughs. Merle watches angrily as she whispers something into Shane's ear that brings out a cocky grin.

Merle's confessional. "I gave that woman the best 16 minuets of her life and she gon' flirt with Shane right in front of my face. Ol' Merle here gotta admit he's pretty damn hurt. Yew best believe there's gon' be a fight tonight."

Daryl walks into the room he shares with Merle seeing the room completely trashed. He's even more pissed because the flower he's found for Michonne had been trampled on. He walks into the room, "Merle!" The further he walks, the more damage is done then suddenly he sees a pile of Merle and Andrea's clothes leading all the way towards the shut bathroom door. He cringes hearing Merle and Andrea's grunting and heavy breathing in there.

"Dammit Merle, come out here an' clean this mess up!"

"Shut up Daryl, I got my hand is full in here!"

Daryl leaves and heads into Michonne's bedroom, "Chonne, yew sleepin'?"

Michonne yawns and pulls her blanket aside as he got in bed with her. She turns and lays her head on his chest as he wraps his arm around her.