"Behind Blue Eyes" by Kitty Rasputin
Chapter 8-Pessimism
When they reached the gorge, any optimism DG had faded quickly. The area around the bridge was practically swarming with Longcoats. Of course. It would be her luck to escape Azkadellia's tower only to get caught again. She was just about to suggest that they keep walking until they found another way across when Cain spotted the cabin.
"So? Longcoats get cold too!" Glitch's response cheered her up a little and made her smile. In spite of how serious the situation was, he could always be counted on to lighten up the mood.
Cain was the one that led them through the woods, although he didn't bother to share with her the significance of blue smoke. She trusted him though; enough that she would follow him to a strange cabin in the middle of the woods if he said it was the right thing to do. Besides that, their options at that point were very slim.
The people at the cabin turned out to be resistance fighters. After they invited everyone inside, DG felt a little less worried that they might be caught. It was not long until the subject of Azkadellia's machine came up. Glitch knew what it was, but he couldn't remember any details concerning it.
"I'm sorry, Glitch, but we have to know." She didn't want to force him back through his memories. It was the only weakness they knew of and he was the only one with the possible knowledge to stop the machine. She watched as raw placed his hand on Glitch's forehead and played the memories back for them. Both of them were worried about what could happen, but it was obvious that they tried to hide it from her. She hated asking so much of her friends, especially after everything they had already done for her already. There wasn't much of a choice, though. They needed a back-up plan in case she couldn't find the emerald and time was a luxury they didn't have much of.
DG watched as Glitch spoke with her mother about Azkadellia's treachery. She vaguely noted how subdued he seemed compared to the witty and carefree man she thought of as her best friend. However, most of her attention was focused on her mother. The woman in the chair was beautiful and elegant, but she radiated a deep sense of heartbreak. She spoke of giving up her light to save someone else and DG realized her mother was referring to her. Glitch's face took on a look of understanding at the revelation only a moment before Azkadellia and her Longcoats appeared.
When the Longcoats began to drag Glitch away, DG nearly cried out for them to stop. She didn't need to watch the rest of it to know what happened. He had been forced to give up his brain because he wouldn't blindly serve Azkadellia. She had taken one of the queen's most powerful allies and lobotomized him, leaving him to wander around with the full awareness that he had been something more. Glitch tried to joke about it, but DG wouldn't hear of it. She wrapped him in a hug and tried to give him as much comfort as she could. No matter what else happened, she would not ask him to go through that again.
She let the others walk outside without her, knowing she needed a minute to collect herself before she followed. The pressure had finally gotten to her and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold up much longer. She hadn't even known this place existed a few days ago and now she was supposed to be this mythic savior of it. That was bad enough, but to find out that her mother could have prevented so many bad events by not resurrecting her was devastating.
It took DG a moment to realize that she wasn't alone. From the corner of her eye, she saw Cain watching her with concern. It didn't surprise her at all. Watching out for her was his job. It was what he had promised the Mystic Man he would do. She also knew that he would keep standing there until she told him what was wrong.
"If my mother hadn't given up her light for me, Azkadellia wouldn't have been able to take over." She tried to hold back her emotions, but it wasn't working well. As a waitress, she was used to stress and demands on her time, but this was a little much even for her to deal with. That didn't mean she was going to let herself cry, especially not in front of Cain. The man had been through so much torture in the past eight years and she had no right to burden him with her trouble.
"You have to let it go," he told her, his voice surprisingly gentle. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. "We need you."
DG understood what he was trying to tell her. It wasn't just the O.Z. that needed her help. Cain was trying to remind her that she was the one that had rescued each of them. To her friends, she was a symbol of hope merely because she had already done something to help them. She would be strong and do what she had to so the O.Z. could be safe just because she couldn't bear to disappoint them, especially this man standing before her.
DG saw the worry written all over Cain's face and wanted to tell him that she was all right. The fact that he was trying to comfort her, even when he was still feeling the effects of Azkadellia's rule, made her feel that he wasn't as hard-hearted as he tried to make himself seem. Hell, if he were half as bad as he claimed, he would have left her and Glitch right after he got out of that tin can. She had to resist the urge to hug him again. It was a gesture that she doubted he would have appreciated. Instead, she managed a smile that was purely for his benefit.
