Chapter 8: Means To An End

That evening found Reid and Floyd under the warm fluffy duvet of the king-sized bed. Each was dressed only in satin boxer-shorts that Floyd had picked out; Floyd's were black, and Reid's white. Floyd was feeling satisfied, and Reid was nervous. It wasn't as though he'd never done any of that before, but that had been the most intimate experience, with both of them completely nude. He lay curled on his side, staring out the large window, with Floyd behind him, an arm around his waist and hot breath on his neck. It was so dark out now he couldn't really see anything, but that wasn't the point. At least he could try to focus on something to take his mind off the events.

Floyd was a miracle worker, that was certain. Reid smiled slightly to himself, remembering the ecstasy and how completely spent he'd been immediately afterwards, and oh so thankful. Which now, he realised, made him seem desperate. It was Floyd's actions afterwards that concerned him. Being forced to give him a blow job wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind, especially when his body was still in the throws of passion and could hardly keep itself upright. Though Reid hadn't objected, so that had to count for something. Maybe he had secretly wanted to? Doubtful, but a possibility. He supposed it was only fair they were both satisfied, but now he was stuck with this taste in his mouth that Floyd wouldn't let him wash out.

Reid gazed out the window and wondered what the rest of the team were doing. Especially wondered what Aaron was doing. The family was probably all tucked in bed by now, since they were two hours ahead. Little Jack, counting the sleeps till Christmas on an advent calendar. Including tonight, only three more to go and it would be Christmas morning. Aaron and Haley snuggled in bed much like him and Floyd were right now. Then again, maybe not? He knew things weren't perfect there, and some of it was his fault, perhaps they slept on opposite side of the bed now?

He felt Floyd move away from him and get off the bed, but didn't respond in any way. His thoughts were now on Aaron and what a mess he'd made of a perfect family. It had been before Floyd came along; Reid was craving love and attention, like any human would, and turned to Hotch. It had been a mistake, he knew that now. One should never get involved with their boss, but at the time it was perfect, and it was right. However, after that one late night in Hotch's office, lots of kissing and touching, he was sure Haley knew. That's the problem with women, and mothers, they know everything. You can't keep secrets, because they'll read it on your face.

Reid and Aaron had gone from being good friends to something in between friends and lovers. Couldn't make eye contact without blushing, and forget touching each other. Handing anything between them had to be done with care. Reid thought back to the day before when Hotch had handed him the mug of hot coco. A brush of the hand and both of them had to move away from each other. Those residual feelings were still there, from just one night. Reid remembered the shattering of a mug just after he'd kissed Morgan, and Hotch's lame excuse for why. He knew why, they both knew why, but he knew Hotch wouldn't admit it. It was probably for the best. He had Floyd now, and as twisted and messed up as it often was, it was exciting and he liked it; most of the time.

Floyd coming into his life was probably the best thing at the time. It tore him away from Aaron, and gave Aaron a chance to focus on his family again. Not that he actually had, he was still too focused on work. It was always work with Hotch, and that was why, Reid figured, he'd fit so perfectly into his life.

Reid heard Floyd light up a cigarette and sighed. "Non-smoking suit, Floyd." he said quietly. He didn't get a reply so he returned to his thoughts of Aaron and what little they'd had together. A few moments later he was torn from them again.

"Spence, babes?" Floyd said from the other side of the room.

Reid rolled over and looked at him. He was bathed in shadows and was facing the wall, giving Reid his back. "What is it?"

"Come here."

Reid got up off the bed and started towards Floyd with slow steps. Something in his tone had set Reid on edge. "Yes?"

"You're thinking about him aren't you?" Floyd inquired.

"About who?" Reid paused his movement, and then thought better of it. Knowing that if he didn't do as Floyd asked, he'd be worse for it. He continued his slow advance, carefully watching Floyd's back.

"You know who." Floyd's voice was deep and had a slight growl to it.

"No, I don't." he replied. The thought that Floyd actually knew he'd been thinking about Aaron terrified him. He forced himself to make sure his voice didn't shake, "Tell me, because I'm really not sure." He stood behind Floyd and put a tentative hand on his shoulder and a gentle kiss on the back of his neck.

Floyd moved so quickly Reid didn't have time to blink. He spun and had both of Reid's small wrists grasped firmly in one of his hands in an instant. Reid's eyes went wide, full of fear. The cigarette Floyd had lay smouldering on the hardwood floor. Floyd didn't seem to have even noticed, his eyes burning with rage towards Reid. His other hand had gone for Reid's neck, and now held it firmly, though nothing close to the intensity that he'd held Morgan or the guy on the plane. "You do know who! Aaron!" he said the name like a swear, "You're precious Aaron, who won't love you any farther than hot kisses and touches through clothing. Is that why you're with me? Because I'll do more of what you need? Because I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty?"

Reid shook his head, letting out a small whimper, "No. No please, it's not like that."

"You're filth! You're nothing but a common whore! A slut in need of satisfying." Pure hated danced behind Floyd's eyes, and his hand on Reid's neck tightened just slightly.

"No, no Floyd." his voice was surprisingly calm, if not a little higher in pitch than usual. Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes, this time not from a need of release, but from pure fear to neutralize Floyd's hatred.

"Yes, yes Spence. You're dirt, and scum, and a whore, nothing more." The growl in his voice was unmistakeable, and sent a chill down Reid's spine.

'Think, Reid, think.' Spencer silently urged himself, 'How are you going to get yourself out of this?' Pushing past his trepidation he did his best to make eye contact with Floyd and not shrink away from the anger emanating there. "Then why are you with me, Floyd? If that's all I am, why are you doing all these wonderful things for me?"

This was enough to give Floyd pause, and his expression softened slightly. There were many reasons, but none he was prepared to share. He let go of Reid's neck and hands and pushed him away, turning his back to him again. "Because I am. That'll have to satisfy you."

Reid sighed, torn between rubbing his wrists or his neck. "You're too tough. Too "manly" to admit that you love me."

Floyd shook his head, his mane of hair waving back and forth. "Not, I'm not."

"Then why won't you say it? You never really have. I can say it, I love you. I can say I only want to be with you, no matter who else may occasionally cross my mind, I can honestly say I it'd you I want to come home to. But you can't even tell me you love me."

This was the kind of talk that angered Floyd, but he did his best to hide it. He couldn't convey his feelings for a multitude of reasons. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't let himself. Defence mechanism, maybe, but mostly it was because he never had, and didn't know how. "What's your point?" he asked, the annoyance obvious.

"My point is, how can I trust you if I don't know where you stand? I don't want to get all gushy and sentimental on you, but relationships need trust, and openness. No secrets, Floyd." He laughed a little nervously, "I've only just come to realise that's all you are. One big secret."

Floyd gritted his teeth; this love talk was going to make him sick. He cared, he was sure he did, but he wasn't so sure he could go as far as saying it was love. The closest he'd ever come to love, yes, but how could he be sure? He wasn't allowed to love, never had been, so now it was new. "I'm going out." he replied suddenly, turning to grab some clothes from his suitcase near the bed.

Reid sighed, throwing his hands up in defeat as he watched Floyd get dressed. "See, that's exactly what I'm talking about! It's late Floyd, don't go."

"I'm going." he said as he walked over to his old pile of clothes and pulled out one of his all-natural drug packets. It was the one he'd already used some of, and he stuffed it into the pocket of the new set of jeans he was wearing.

Reid groaned, "You're going, fine, I'll come with you!"

"No, you won't. You'll stay here." He checked himself over in a mirror, and started buttoning his dark red, silk shirt. Reid started to follow him as he left the room so he stopped and turned on his heel. "Stay. Go to bed, or something. I'll be back."

"At least tell me where you're going." Reid was almost pleading.

"I would, but I don't know yet. I'll find out when I get there." he turned again, and left the room.

Reid stood and listened to Floyd move through the suit until he couldn't hear him anymore, before flopping down on the bed. Tears of anger, frustration, and sadness threatened to fall as he lay, hugging a pillow close. He smothered his face in the soft fluff of the pillow, and it soaked up his tears before they fell.

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It was a lonely ride down the elevator, but Floyd took this opportunity of privacy to indulge in his homemade concoction. He wasn't even sure what his plan was, but he needed to get away from Spencer, and sort things out. He exited the elevator and walked through the lobby. Not many people this time of night, but it didn't bother him.

The same young man was behind the check in desk, and Floyd received a wave, "Good evening, Sir. Where's your friend?"

Floyd paused, deliberately turned towards the man, and then stalked over to him. His voice was hushed, and malicious. "Don't talk about him. If you even so much as glance at him again you won't make it home for Christmas you little twat." Without so much as another word, Floyd left the young man shaking in fear, and hit the small town streets of Banff.

It wasn't long before he found what he was looking for. Tall, thin, light fluffy hair, dressed casually and leaning against a wall. Floyd smirked as he approached, making eye contact. The other male's eyes flashed with a certain amount of excitement. Floyd took up position beside him, leaning on the wall as well. "How much?" he asked, his expression now blank.

"For you?" remarked the kid, he couldn't have been more than 18. He looked Floyd up and down. "I'll do you just because I want to. No charge."

Floyd smirked again, "Excellent, lead the way."

The boy turned and made his way down an alley. "It's not the most glamorous of settings, but it'll have to do." he called over his shoulder.

Floyd remained silent, not caring about the setting. The setting wasn't what mattered, it was the act itself. He needed to test his impulse control, and this was the means to doing so.

The boy shouldered open a door to an abandoned basement suite. There was a small bed in the corner, a side table, and various candles to light the place, but not much else. He moved to the bed and sat, then looked back at Floyd, "So, what do you want?"

"Everything. Nothing." Floyd closed the door and then moved closer to the bed. He sat down, placing one had on the boy's knee, and the other in his hair. "Let's just play it by ear." He leaned forward, kissing the other male lightly before guiding him down onto the bed, his weight heavy on top of the smaller frame. 'What are you missing, Floyd? What are you forgetting?'

He didn't need to remember because the boy thought of it for him. He reached his slender arm over to the table and opened the drawer. He pulled out a square pack and closed the drawer again. "I-if you don't mind?" he asked Floyd, showing him the wrapped condom.

Floyd nodded, "Not at all." He knew how it worked, the way DNA could easily be traced back to him were anything to happen to this poor lad. That would certainly be tragic enough to put a flaw in his plans. Being very careful was the key to getting away with whatever you wanted, and he was not about to let himself get sloppy.

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Floyd wiped his hands on the bedspread, though it did little good. The thin fabric was soaked red with innocent blood. He looked over at the mess he'd made and frowned. It wasn't his messiest kill ever, but it certainly wasn't as clean as just snapping a neck. It was probably close to 1am, he needed to finish up here quickly, and then go back to the penthouse.

Spence was waiting. He knew Spence was waiting. And now he finally knew what he felt. This was usually how it went, sex and a good time, and then murder and death. The two occurrences went hand-in-hand for Floyd, except when it came to Spence. That had to mean something important. It had to mean something close to, or equivalent to, 'love' if not love itself. He'd proven that to himself, now the only task left was following through with what he had planned for this vacation. This was admittedly a lot harder when love was factored into the equation.

Floyd disposed of any evidence he could find that could connect him to this crime, and then hurried back to the suite. Blood still on his hands which he hid in deep coat pockets. There was no one in the lobby when he entered this time, and he walked briskly to the private elevator. The ride up seemed long, and he felt a strange cloudiness in his sinuses. He groaned knowing exactly what it meant, and placed a hand to his nose, just as it started to drop with fresh blood.

He was lucky it hadn't started in that small basement room. It would have been hard evidence to clean. At least his blood blended with the blood on his hands, and gave him an excuse in case Spence was lurking when he arrived. He wasn't, thankfully, and Floyd went into one of the spare bathrooms to wash up. The blood came off his hand easily and he stopped his nose from bleeding just as quick. Floyd then made his way back to the main bedroom.

Reid lay with his back to the door and Floyd silently crept up behind him. Once he set his weight on the bed be spoke, "Spence, babes."

Reid turned slightly to look at him, his eyes red and tired, "What?"

"Not sure I can say it, but it's true. I care for you more than I have anyone else, so that must mean it's true. Love and all." he looked away from Reid's eyes.

Reid smiled, "Thank you, Floyd. That's good enough for now." Floyd settled down on the bed behind him and they lay in silence until Reid drifted of to sleep.

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A/N: weak ending, but I have to go, and wanted to post before I left. Little gushy ending for my tastes too but whatever.